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Happy New Month guys
And happy Sunday 😊

Please read to the end.

Apologies for the length and to anyone who my caption might have offended, but this is the current reality of my life.,
I am a young man in my late 20's who has been autistic for a long time of my life and I have come to the conclusion that God isn't fair (that's if he exists)

Right from my early years, say around 6 years, my parents (mom in particular) have always worried why I didn't talk or socialize much. As for my dad he wouldn't care less, as a matter of fact he sabotaged any form of social activities we (his kids) could have been involved in.
Aside from schooling, We weren't allowed to play outside, attend birthday parties, or have any social activities whatsoever and when he wasn't at home he kinda monitored us through other methods and would yell whenever we were outside.
Personally I knew something wasn't right though I didn't care much because socializing wasn't a concept I fully understood back then and amongst all my siblings my reserved nature was the worst.
Fast-forward to my teenage years, he (my Dad) will monitor us in school, social media, the neighborhood etc, we were literally the kids that do not come out and this affected me badly.
In class I wasn't doing badly I was always among the best five but my social life was just meh, I don't speak if not spoken to and to make friends was too difficult and this created a lot of misunderstanding from my peers, some labeled me as proud, foolish,dumb (mind you I was sound academically but socially inept) not because I didn't know what to say but rather was stressed out by the mere thought of talking or socializing.

I remember speaking to my mum then about it, although she had already noticed it too (I guess) she wrote it off as just shyness but deep down I knew it was more than that. I basically wasted my teenage years without any friends and was practically bullied for always being quiet and moving from state to state didn't help much.

The misunderstanding and self misrepresentation continued even in my university years and the anxiety got worse that graduation was a huge issue. To cut the whole story short I'm in my late 20's still wack in socializing I try my best to improve but it just feels like my socializing file stopped downloading at 2%

I'm so awkward in social situations, like 110% awkward that you won't believe your eyes when you experience it. I just can't help it. Sometimes people try hard to draw close to me but I try even harder to stay away from them (albeit involuntarily) I am 95% percent unhappy most of the time just because I have a poor social connection... I put up this nonchalant attitude but deep down I am not okay.

Some People perceive me as dull Coz I'm so quiet and their first instinct is to take advantage of me (I may be socially poor but not unintelligent) and it even discourages me more.
Nobody seems to get me, my neighbors don gossip me taya, unknown to one of them, I understand their language 100%.
In the neighborhood, "I am that guy way get pride"
What they say don't bother me much except the fact that I have become an island.
I spoke to 1 or 2 of my family members but they don't seem to get it, so I just box it all up and mask as the prodigal son.
Even when I try to talk, my voice just seems to be stuck... Once I spoke to a doctor and he was just scolding me to snap out of it before it'd be too late.
I know that already, and if I could just snap out of it, trust me I for don run am tey tey.

I'm not suicidal but I'm just tired and fed up of this kind of life, Lost many opportunities and time is ticking, don't even want to start the issue of Relationship because you need communication and understanding for that. Tired of people asking me
"You no dey talk" "why you too quiet" "you dey do like woman" "bla bla bla" etc.
Omo life deep Sha, many things unsaid.

Lemme just leave it here, only those who are going through this will understand. God help us all

Hope you all have a blessed day.[color=#000099][/color]

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glimpse33:
I can help you

Send me a Message

Sent,



1233445678891011

Reading this properly. Late 20s, autistic, anxious, not getting the support early enough — the system failed you first. That's not a small thing to carry.

The part about masking all day and still not fitting in — that exhaustion is real. Neurotypical socialising takes genuine extra effort when your brain is wired differently, and most people around you just don't see that cost. They see the output, not what it takes.

Not here to give you a list of solutions. Just saying — the fact that you're still here, still writing this out, still reaching out — that's not nothing. A lot of people in your situation quietly disappear. You didn't.

Hope whatever conversation you've started with glimpse33 helps. And if you want to talk through anything else, thread is here.

Honestly it isn't what I wish for anyone. People don't seem to get it and gradually they loose respect and even become hostile verbally...one of my relatives even said it's a white man sickness.
Sometimes my head go wan explode coz the simple Hafa Hafa is an uphill task and stresses my brain like mad
At this point I just wish there is any Anxiety community I can mix up with people that understand, coz Omo I don't tire for real 😣

as69:
Reading this properly. Late 20s, autistic, anxious, not getting the support early enough — the system failed you first. That's not a small thing to carry.

The part about masking all day and still not fitting in — that exhaustion is real. Neurotypical socialising takes genuine extra effort when your brain is wired differently, and most people around you just don't see that cost. They see the output, not what it takes.

Not here to give you a list of solutions. Just saying — the fact that you're still here, still writing this out, still reaching out — that's not nothing. A lot of people in your situation quietly disappear. You didn't.

Hope whatever conversation you've started with glimpse33 helps. And if you want to talk through anything else, thread is here.