₦airaland Forum

It's starts as an overwhelming feeling of helplessness.

That feeling when you've done your best, you've fought with every ounce of strength you've got.

You've tried to keep your dignity, your pride, your honor intact, but every struggle erodes them. Slowly. Steadily.

And then somehow when all your strength is gone, you realize your demon is the more stronger, materialising in front of you. Proud about how it wore you down, and eager to devour.

With horror, you realize all hope is lost and no one is coming. No one really cared. Then the sweet voice beckons "end it". Her allure is irresistible.

And so, you take whatever action it is you've determined. A rope. A fall. An anti-life substance. Doesn't matter. All men must meet the same end.

Edit: Wheew, i didnt even expect such beautifully positive responses to this thread. It's Sunday morning. No amount of Sermon could have done what I've just read. @budaatum that was one hell of a story.
It seems people still cared after all.

Hmmmmm....when I look back this days, I am surprise I didn't end it at a certain time in my life,.yeah I didn't end it but I went back to a habit I was proud and happy I left behind... seriously my case was terrible, after getting assurance from God, it still went south, I was spiritual, emotionally, physically battered to this day I still don't understand how it happened, I almost lost my believe in God, the world of God appeared false to me but thank God I am still here today holding on to my faith in God...but I won't lie to anyone, I still can't believe I did not end it that time....it is well anyway,...one doesn't need to take his or her own life, just stay alive and try to figure this out....

Na who die loose....

it's a lie, you don't. When you do, u'ld be 6/7ft below the ground.

Ever8090:
Hmmmmm....when I look back this days, I am surprise I didn't end it at a certain time in my life,.yeah I didn't end it but I went back to a habit I was proud and happy I left behind... seriously my case was terrible, after getting assurance from God, it still went south, I was spiritual, emotionally, physically battered to this day I still don't understand how it happened, I almost lost my believe in God, the world of God appeared false to me but thank God I am still here today holding on to my faith in God...but I won't lie to anyone, I still can't believe I did not end it that time....it is well anyway,...one doesn't need to take his or her own life, just stay alive and try to figure this out....

Na who die loose....

you think say e easy to die? Common, you don't have d biggest problem and people who's got a bigger ones than yours are still hoping for a better day. No kill yourself oo. God is true and real, Satan is just a pro at deceiving human, it has been doing it long before your grandparents were born and he doesn't know how to stop doing it. Many times, you just got to laugh and call the devil a liar. Better days ahead, keep your head up.

Professor007:
That feeling when you've done your best, you've fought with every ounce of strength you've got.

At "Then the sweet voice beckons "end it", I went, WHAT!

buda sat the last o level and just wanted to sleep. A seven mile walk home after every paper would tire anyone out plus bad irregular feeding and having to borrow books. So sleep! That's what buda wanted because buda tire.

So buda took a Mogadon. Ma had a chemist, see, and buda worked there. Knew the drugs. Took it before. One Mogadon, 12 hour sleep. But hour pass and no sleep. So buda took another Mogadon. Yep, took it before. 18 hour sleep, waranwaran couple hours after wake up. But still no sleep. So buda took bottle 60 5mg Valium and popped them like smarties but still no sleep. So buda goup and wenout and next buda know they is pumping buda tummy at Ikeja General.

No sweet voice beckoned me! I hadn't prepared to die. I even had a plan for when I woke after I'd slept for a week to sort out the next phase of my life. Besides, I'd studied really hard. Read till my eye so tire letters was walking on the page like ant. A1 in Maths and English guaranteed. Physics certain. Who fails Agric. Chemistry, boya, plus one more. A levels, gbam, and I'm japaing home. No I did not want to die! Life was ahead of me! I wanted to live it! But there's dead me pass out on the street from my own hand popping smarties in my own mouth to murder my own self against my own will to live my own life!

buda was mortified afterwards! Like, how could buda own mind tell buda own hand to pop dead smarties in buda own mouth and take buda own life that buda so wanted to live just like that? Took months to get over the fact my own mine let me down, I must say.

No one should ever feel they have ever done their best or "fought with every ounce of strength you've got" is what I knew then, because the truth is you don't know how many ounces of strength you got or what an ounce of strength even is. And nor do you really know if you got any ounces of strength left that you haven't used yet. And you can not possibly have done your best because you don't know what your best is yet neither. So, please, do not tell lies to yourself. First!

Second is, we really must educate our own mind so that our own mind is not creating voices in our own head to command our own hands to put smarties inside our own mouths so that we may instead live!

But most important is, if you try harder to do better, which is actually not your best but just better than you currently do, with a bit more strength, and some discipline, and only telling the truth to yourself (I can not emphasise that more, and no it is not easy or simple at all), this too will pass, and may be a story some day.

Besides, as merrymike47 said, "you think say e easy to die?"

Unlike every other challenges of life, Death cannot be easied or succored and it is irreversible.
Think of suic*ide as the final victory of your enemy. Where the enemy, finally have total control of your mind and body, and then used it to terminate your spirit and existence.

Who comit suicide na him lose

Ever8090:
Hmmmmm....when I look back this days, I am surprise I didn't end it at a certain time in my life,.yeah I didn't end it but I went back to a habit I was proud and happy I left behind... seriously my case was terrible, after getting assurance from God, it still went south, I was spiritual, emotionally, physically battered to this day I still don't understand how it happened, I almost lost my believe in God, the world of God appeared false to me but thank God I am still here today holding on to my faith in God...but I won't lie to anyone, I still can't believe I did not end it that time....it is well anyway,...one doesn't need to take his or her own life, just stay alive and try to figure this out....

Na who die loose....

No be lie. But you've got to admit, life can get crazy hard, especially for a man just trying to make a life himself.

When you get to what you see as the end of the road for you, just pause and say to yourself ; I will disappoint those who said or thought it was over for me, and finally, say, " I SHALL MAKE IT, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP.

Then go straight and cut ties with everyone one you know that doesn't believe in you or your dreams. Cut them off completely and you'll have peace.

Disconnect from anything and anyone who discouraged you. Finally you may need to relocate and press the "RESET" Button of your life and start afresh.

Wthin the shortest time, you'll be there balling.

Goodluck.

Reminds me of the darkest phase of my little time here, at least for now .

2017 to be precise.


Budaatum did a lot right there. I think... Or rather, I am fully convinced that the human mind is really a complex component and if not handled with outmost caution, every other thing goes down hill.

Snap out of it dawg, I'm not doing 100% even in this moment but hey, still much better than I am 11 years ago.


I'm not great with putting my thoughts into writing but I pray you grasp the message I'm trying to put across.

Professor007:
No be lie. But you've got to admit, life can get crazy hard, especially for a man just trying to make a life himself.

Not just the men alone, almost everyone got something they're dealing with. They're just good at not appearing like their problems.

I tell you.... Hausa make one proverb say...." Mai ido daya baya kode Allah sai ya gani mai-kado .... English translate ... person wey get one eye no dey thank God untill him see blind man 😁....no body own worst pass and nobody own better pass ...we just gat live and leave ...

merrymike47:
you think say e easy to die? Common, you don't have d biggest problem and people who's got a bigger ones than yours are still hoping for a better day. No kill yourself oo. God is true and real, Satan is just a pro at deceiving human, it has been doing it long before your grandparents were born and he doesn't know how to stop doing it. Many times, you just got to laugh and call the devil a liar. Better days ahead, keep your head up.

Take chill Hollandia yogurt with sharp Egusi combined with plenty assorted meat and Fufu, you go dey alright! 💯

Sometimes, all this evil thinking na hunger dey cause am and as country come bad reach many people go don de ”Hopeless” Na that time the evil thinking de start.

No give up yet OP

Ever8090:
I tell you.... Hausa make one proverb say...." Mai ido daya baya kode Allah sai ya gani mai-kado .... English translate ... person wey get one eye no dey thank God untill him see blind man 😁....no body own worst pass and nobody own better pass ...we just gat live and leave ...

This Hausa get K leg inside it 😅😅😅

Hungrychicken:
Take chill Hollandia yogurt with sharp Egusi combined with plenty assorted meat and Fufu, you go dey alright! 💯

Sometimes, all this evil thinking na hunger dey cause am and as country come bad reach many people go don de ”Hopeless” Na that time the evil thinking de start.

No give up yet OP

You assume say the OP get money for assorted be that, 90% of in the trenches low is because of poverty that one knows they are not supposed to be in because they have the ability. Poverty is a hard thing to escape, fr fr.

untoldtruth:
You assume say the OP get money for assorted be that, 90% of in the trenches low is because of poverty that one knows they are not supposed to be in because they have the ability. Poverty is a hard thing to escape, fr fr.

Could be, but hunger bad fr too.

untoldtruth:
You assume say the OP get money for assorted be that, 90% of in the trenches low is because of poverty that one knows they are not supposed to be in because they have the ability. Poverty is a hard thing to escape, fr fr.

If i had the money in the first place, this post wouldn't even exist Youre damn right.

Sha don't kill yourself