₦airaland Forum

My friend Rotimi bought a car he had no business buying in 2019.

Tokunbo Camry. 2006. Big boot. Leather seats with a crack on the passenger side he covered with a towel he called temporary and is still there today. He drove it off the lot in Berger like a man handed a small country to govern.

We called it the Landlord.

Not because it was fine. Because it acted like it owned everywhere it went.

That car changed our lives in a specific way none of us planned for.

Before the Landlord we were 4 men in Lagos doing what young men do. Complaining about traffic from inside danfos. Eating at bukaterias because they were close and Mama Ngozi knew our orders. Talking about things we were going to do someday in the way people talk when someday feels safely far away.

After the Landlord we had no excuse.

Rotimi showed up one Friday at 7pm outside my flat and said get in. I asked where. He said Ibadan. I said for what. He said suya and a drive and stop asking questions.

We called Femi and Kazeem. Both in within 20 minutes.

We drove to Ibadan on a Friday night talking absolute nonsense for 2 hours. Kazeem argued the entire way that Rotimi was driving wrong. Not dangerously. Just wrong. Wrong gear changes. Wrong AC. Wrong station. Rotimi said it was his car and Kazeem said it was everyone's car now and that was somehow accepted as truth without further debate.

We found a suya spot near Dugbe at 10pm. Old man. Iron skewer. Newspaper wrap. The kind that makes you angry because you know you'll spend the rest of your life comparing everything else to this moment.

We sat on a bench outside and ate with our hands and argued about everything.

Football first. Then money. Then which one of us was most likely to be successful. Kazeem voted himself immediately. Femi said Kazeem's definition of success was suspicious. Rotimi said he was already successful because he had a car and none of us could argue with that.

We drove back at 1am.

Kazeem fell asleep before we reached the expressway. Femi was on the phone with someone he refused to explain. Rotimi drove and I sat in front and we talked quietly the way you talk at 1am when the others are sleeping and the road is empty and Lagos is something you're returning to instead of something you're inside.

He said he bought the car because he was tired of waiting to be ready. Said we all kept saying when things are better we'll do this when things are better we'll go there and things were never better enough so nothing ever happened.

I said that was the wisest thing he had ever said.

He said don't tell Kazeem.

Many trips followed.

Port Harcourt for a wedding where we ate bole and fish by the roadside for 45 minutes and nearly missed the ceremony. Benin City once with no plan, just driving, found a restaurant that served the best ofe onugbu any of us had tasted and sat there 3 hours ordering more than we could finish. A beach in Badagry that took 2 hours to find and was worth the wrong turns.

The Landlord broke down 7 times across all of it.

Twice on the expressway. Once in Benin at midnight. Once so dramatically in Ibadan that a mechanic came out laughing before he even looked at the engine.

We fixed it every time. Stood by the road eating whatever was nearby waiting for the thing to be sorted. Rotimi would say she's resting. Kazeem would say she was never built for this. They argued while Femi and I found cold drinks.

Last month Rotimi sold the Landlord.

New owner came and drove it away and we stood in the compound watching it go like we were seeing off something that had carried more than just us.

Rotimi was quiet. Then he said we did good with that car.

Kazeem said the car did terribly and we overcame it repeatedly.

Femi said same thing.

We laughed on that compound for a long time.

Then Rotimi said he was getting a bigger one.

Kazeem said God help us.

He wasn't complaining.

Ishilove:
https://x.com/i/status/2041452963365879822




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Sonnobax15:

This got me laughing so hard

Just like a post I saw on a friend's WhatsApp status --"That the moment you start spending time in a mechanic workshop,to the extent of buying groundnut and making new friends at the same workshop, just know that that's the right time to sell that car off"

I got my own share and a very similar experience on this. To the extent that my own woman got idea of every fault in a keke . These days, sometime we do reminisce on those times and we just laugh over them . Keke wey almost turn me to a mad man .

Op, honestly I can relate.

Alapereketu:
explain better

I no understand this story at all

armadeo:
A close friend bought a tipper once. Was making mad money initially so mad that he actually didn't know what to do but ball because it was a side hustle.

And man did we ball. It was fun and games till the first breakdown. He over came.

Then again. He also overcame. Who said lightening doesn't strike the same spot twice. He got hit so much that he had to sell it off.


Another guy who experienced the balling part but not the lightning strikes wanted to buy the truck and he told him " ill rather burn this truck than dash you problem"

I remember the day we were together and his driver called, he saw the number and almost had a stroke. Driver was just informing him about loading at another point for the weekend if he should go.

I was like you've not even picked the call, see as you're breathing. You better get out of that business you're still too Young for this type of stress.

Ishilove:
Aside that, some mechanics have the opposite of the Midas touch; anything they touch dey scatter. Some will use your car to learn, while some who are running a "teaching workshop" will give your vehicle to their apprentice to learn work and in the process destroy your vehicle. That's what happened to mine. After changing the top gasket, my vehicle, a first grade tokunbo has never been the same again. They broke a sensor in the gear box (or whatever), welded it back and now the gear doesn't select well again. This is a vehicle that has traveled across Nigeria several times. Motor no dey fire again.

Anyway I'm still owing 9k from the rubbish work he did. I will send thunder to locate him if he disturbs me for his balance

armadeo:
A close friend bought a tipper once. Was making mad money initially so mad that he actually didn't know what to do but ball because it was a side hustle.

And man did we ball. It was fun and games till the first breakdown. He over came.

Then again. He also overcame. Who said lightening doesn't strike the same spot twice. He got hit so much that he had to sell it off.

Another guy who experienced the balling part but not the lightning strikes wanted to buy the truck and he told him " ill rather burn this truck than dash you problem"

I remember the day we were together and his driver called, he saw the number and almost had a stroke. Driver was just informing him about loading at another point for the weekend if he should go.

I was like you've not even picked the call, see as you're breathing. You better get out of that business you're still too Young for this type of stress.

kimjessey2019:
Last two years, I was in a restaurant and I saw the man that bought my first used car, I quickly rushed my food and ran out from the back door😂. 209 kompressor Mercedes nearly kpai me😂😂😂

GloriousGbola:
This is why some people insist they work on the car in their house.
also, if you are technically inclined, or if you just watch some guys on you tube, you will understand why doctors say 'first do no harm'

your average artisan is not trained in critical thinking and will attack the symptom without identifying the problem. on top of that a process that is 12 steps, they will do it in three and proudly think they have solved the problem. i see people on forums complaining about how it takes 45 minutes to take a part a headlight to change a bulb a so called mechanic will do this in under five minutes and from that day on, your headlight will be half full of water

i use thinpads almost exclusively and you will see videos on the internet by lenovo showing how to change keyboard. very simple process. but give your laptop to a so called computer repairer and he will somehow break the keyboard of the most easily repairable laptop on the planet

one time the missus wanted the kids to do some time with the mechanic to learn how to fix a car. i was completely against it, not because of handwork , but because i have seen my mechanics thinking process up front and i don't want my kids picking that addressing symptom rather than identifying problem, learning by rote [copying but not understanding] desire to run through a problem without really understanding it, and inability to take responsibility

Kingpele:
Never had this kind of experience growing up...but then I don't miss that kind of lifestyle..I hate travelling on the road...talk more of travelling for fun and without any meaningful purpose...am talking about 20 years ago till now...then the kidnappers, bandits and terrorists where not that visible....I remember selling my Honda baby boy to my guy that was begging me to sell the car to him since I bought benz that year .the guy spent much to make the car look good but after three weeks I saw him in the park I usually parked my car with a mechanic, I just disappeared..he kept complaining till I stopped picking up his calls...we are no longer friends now

sleekflow:
Can you shed more light on this tipper business please? And the kinda truck exactly. Thanks.

Ishilove:
https://x.com/i/status/2041452963365879822



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pak:
Hi Ishilove, impressed that you are still active on Nairaland.

I remember years ago when I was traveling often thru Ondo state cos of Politics, I often passed thru that town you wrote about back then and each time, I remember you.
(can't even remember the name of the town now)


How you doing?

Ishilove:
Uncle Pak! I am even more impressed that you are still on Nairaland and remember that lil ol'town I wrote about. Wasimi

How are you and yours?

pak:
Lol, thanks for your response.

Uncle Bawo? I am still young o, twenties at heart fa