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My sister married her husband in 2016, after giving birth in 2017 to their first child; male child, he started physically maltreating her till this year 2026. My sister birth all their four kids through caesarean section. She later went through another section in 2024 December which is umbilical hernia, this condition resulted from frequent domestic abuses she received from her husband. He beats her, punches her as if she is his mate even in pregnancy, he uses both cane and wire to flog her, he talks to her in the most demeaning way, always accuses her of sleeping with men and telling their neighbours many bad things about his wife, that she is way ward and does not care for their kids, but those people will later be telling my sister what he says out of pity, because they have seen how she suffers in the marriage always carrying the kids everywhere and taking care of them. My sister is the type that always have good mind and emotionally soft, psychologically she is phlegmatic.

I am very heartbroken typing this, i have tried to drag my sister out of the marriage but she eventually went back on several occasions, telling me that "he will change, for the sake of these children".
We have tried to settle the matter countless times, involving him and both his family but still they couldn't do anything. It is not that he is rich, but he is weather than his brothers, beside they're jealous of him and want him to fail.

Continue from next page, please moderator help me to position for the help I need.

VERTEX1:
My sister married her husband in 2016, after giving birth in 2017 to their first child; male child, he started physically maltreating her till this year 2026. My sister birth all their four kids through caesarean section. She later went through another section in 2024 December which is umbilical hernia, this condition resulted from frequent domestic abuses she received from her husband. He beats her, punches her as if she is his mate even in pregnancy, he uses both cane and wire to flog her, he talks to her in the most demeaning way, always accuses her of sleeping with men and telling their neighbours many bad things about his wife, that she is way ward and does not care for their kids, but those people will later be telling my sister what he says out of pity, because they have seen how she suffers in the marriage always carrying the kids everywhere and taking care of them. My sister is the type that always have good mind and emotionally soft, psychologically she is phlegmatic.

I am very heartbroken typing this, i have tried to drag my sister out of the marriage but she eventually went back on several occasions, telling me that "he will change, for the sake of these children".
We have tried to settle the matter countless times, involving him and both his family but still they couldn't do anything. It is not that he is rich, but he is weather than his brothers, beside they're jealous of him and want him to fail.

Continue from next page, please moderator help me to position for the help I need.

Is your sister involved with other men? Is she contributing to home upkeep or a liability? Is your sister submissive or arrogant? Etc

Five months after her umbilical hernia, he uses cutlass to beat her flogging her because he seize her phone, he always does that. But that faithful night, around 12pm he returned home as he usually does, wake her up and start emotionally abusing her as he does which led to flogging her with wire and later matchet. She started shouting on top of her voice until their neighbour rush out and open their compound gate for her, which she now ran to nearby house. The husband jump the fence of the building to come and take her wife, thereby spoiling some of the structures in the house as he was vibrating and causing destruction. This made the compound people to ask him to leave their compound. Due to it was very late in the night, we came in the morning and took sister and her kids. Later in the week, we took her to the human affairs commission in Awka, after documentation and processes, they invited the husband which he refuse to come. He entirely ignored their invitation. After staying with my mum for few weeks, the husband started calling and begging her everyday. Long story short he she went back.

This year Jan, I went to their house due to she always complain of her safety and can't leave the house too, because he always threaten to kill her, by poisoning her food, using her for rituals and he brought a matchet with red cover that his JuJu man gave him to use and kill his wife.
While I was in their house, he returned around 12 mid night, and pour away the tea my sister was drinking. He already slapped her hand to start beating her in my face ? And I rush and pulled him backward. He now left my sister and started talking many things. There's nothing he did not said till 1am. That I should leave his house with his wife. And I swear to him that he can never chase me away from his own home. That I am always there because of my sister and the kids. Mind you throughout the birth of those kids, I'm the birth mate of my sister, always nursing the kids. Like 3 of the kids I'm the first person to cloth them, I'm always awake feeding them throughout the night, because my sister was still passing through the post operation partem at the time. He always beg to go and be with them, because he always ran away from things like that. I always go to work from hospital. During the day some nurses do help my sister because she is also a nurse there before her husband stopped her from working.

I wanted to forget about my sis since she doesn't want to leave him, but I couldn't, the bond is stronger I could feel. Beside we lost her direct elder sister last year 2025, so putting my life in line for them remaining is no option.

Continue...

Kdon2:
Is your sister involved with other men? Is she contributing to home upkeep or a liability? Is your sister submissive or arrogant? Etc

My sister is the most humble person I've see in this life.
Before her marriage I was angry because she was 22years. We know no boyfriend of her. She just graduated from school of nursing.

Her husband stopped her from working as a nurse and took her life savings, which gave him without even telling us. The husband
refuse her from doing any job to earn so that he will continue using her as a slave. In their family they see wife as maid.

Why does she keep going back to him like a mumu? Why can't someone talk some sense into her? She's not doing the kids any favor by staying with him but she's doing them more harm than good. I guess it's when she leaves in a body bag that she'll have sense.

VERTEX1:
My sister married her husband in 2016, after giving birth in 2017 to their first child; male child, he started physically maltreating her till this year 2026. My sister birth all their four kids through caesarean section. She later went through another section in 2024 December which is umbilical hernia, this condition resulted from frequent domestic abuses she received from her husband. He beats her, punches her as if she is his mate even in pregnancy, he uses both cane and wire to flog her, he talks to her in the most demeaning way, always accuses her of sleeping with men and telling their neighbours many bad things about his wife, that she is way ward and does not care for their kids, but those people will later be telling my sister what he says out of pity, because they have seen how she suffers in the marriage always carrying the kids everywhere and taking care of them. My sister is the type that always have good mind and emotionally soft, psychologically she is phlegmatic.

I am very heartbroken typing this, i have tried to drag my sister out of the marriage but she eventually went back on several occasions, telling me that "he will change, for the sake of these children".
We have tried to settle the matter countless times, involving him and both his family but still they couldn't do anything. It is not that he is rich, but he is weather than his brothers, beside they're jealous of him and want him to fail.

Continue from next page, please moderator help me to position for the help I need.

Honestly, I find this story hard to believe because how can somebody hate herself so much.

VERTEX1:
My sister is the most humble person I've see in this life.
Before her marriage I was angry because she was 22years. We know no boyfriend of her. She just graduated from school of nursing.

Her husband stopped her from working as a nurse and took her life savings, which gave him without even telling us. The husband
refuse her from doing any job to earn so that he will continue using her as a slave. In their family they see wife as maid.

"In their family?". One your sister was too inexperienced in matters of men otherwise she would have known better. Besides she is very secretive from what I can infer therefore what makes you think you know her sufficiently. A lot is questionable in this marriage. Maybe there is a lot you don't know.

VERTEX1:
My sister is the most humble person I've see in this life.
Before her marriage I was angry because she was 22years. We know no boyfriend of her. She just graduated from school of nursing.

Her husband stopped her from working as a nurse and took her life savings, which gave him without even telling us. The husband
refuse her from doing any job to earn so that he will continue using her as a slave. In their family they see wife as maid.

Woah! They treat women as slave "In their family?". Number one, your sister was too inexperienced in matters of men otherwise she would have known better. Besides she is very secretive from what I can infer therefore what makes you think you know her sufficiently. A lot is questionable in this marriage. Maybe there is a lot you don't know.

VERTEX1:
My sister married her husband in 2016, after giving birth in 2017 to their first child; male child, he started physically maltreating her till this year 2026. My sister birth all their four kids through caesarean section. She later went through another section in 2024 December which is umbilical hernia, this condition resulted from frequent domestic abuses she received from her husband. He beats her, punches her as if she is his mate even in pregnancy, he uses both cane and wire to flog her, he talks to her in the most demeaning way, always accuses her of sleeping with men and telling their neighbours many bad things about his wife, that she is way ward and does not care for their kids, but those people will later be telling my sister what he says out of pity, because they have seen how she suffers in the marriage always carrying the kids everywhere and taking care of them. My sister is the type that always have good mind and emotionally soft, psychologically she is phlegmatic.
I am very heartbroken typing this, i have tried to drag my sister out of the marriage but she eventually went back on several occasions, telling me that "he will change, for the sake of these children". We have tried to settle the matter countless times, involving him and both his family but still they couldn't do anything. It is not that he is rich, but he is weather than his brothers, beside they're jealous of him and want him to fail.
Continue from next page, please moderator help me to position for the help I need.

Your sister is in her endurance wife arc. Only she knows how long this stage of her life will last. I think you should focus your attention instead on teaching the children that their mother's behavior... he refusing to leave an abusive marriage... is not right and detrimental to her sanity and their future if they choose to allow it to hunt them. 😒

VERTEX1:
➜I wanted to forget about my sis since she doesn't want to leave him, but I couldn't, the bond is stronger I could feel. Beside we lost her direct elder sister last year 2025, so putting my life in line for them remaining is no option. Continue...

Again, your attention should be on helping train the children to see that what their father does to their mother and what their mother does by remaining tied to her violent assaulter in the name of marriage is actually wrong and unacceptable behavior. 😒

Where are your parents in all of this? What does your mother think of all of this? 😒

Explain this below.

"weather"

Kdon2:
Is your sister involved with other men? Is she contributing to home upkeep or a liability? Is your sister submissive or arrogant? Etc

Good questions. No, very good questions!

LordIsaac:
➜Good questions. No, very good questions!

Is her supposed involvement with other men a valid reason of sorts for the abuse that the OP explains she has been enduring in the marriage? 😒😒😒

We need to hear from the husband side of the story before we can conclude from a fair judgement.

Kobojunkie:
Is her supposed involvement with other men a valid reason of sorts for the abuse that the OP explains she has been enduring in the marriage? 😒😒😒

Good question!

I have seen all your comments, I will continue by the way and reply when I'm done.
On this year Easter Mon night, my sister's husband returned home by 12midnight and started making problem with her as usual, he started beating her using chains and wires. After that he reach for the matchet and started using it to flog her. Meanwhile he pounced on her while punching her, three of their kids that were awake pounced on him too beating him saying "rapu mummy aka" (leave mummy alone). The husband continue beating her to the extent of using the matches to be flogging her. My sister started shouting on top of her voice calling the attention of their neighbor, because they only live in the compound with just their caretaker. She now remembered what he used to say to her, that he will use the matchet to kill her for ritual. He kept flogging her with the cutlass, he then raised it up above his head, directing it towards her head, this made her to hold the portion of the cutlass and start dragging it with him while still shouting on top of her voice calling the neighbor, "Chima ojikwa mma o" (Chima he is holding a cutlass). At this juncture the neighbor came out with the wife opening their door which made my sister to ran inside their room because now the cutlass they were dragging has fallen on the floor. They eventually lock the door, this makes my sister's husband to start threatening them, so the wife of the neighbor came out and open their compound gate allowing my sister to ran out of the compound, at that instance my sister's husband had gone inside their room to get something, probably hid the cutlass. When he came out he realized that my sister is now out of the compound, he continue spewing alot of threats.

Now my sister headed to the house of chairman of the estate and narrates her ordeal. That night they went to my sister's husband at home to inquire what is the issue to enable my sister to go back to the house, but my sister's husband locked the gate and refuse them entering in the compound. He later throw them 5k as bribe through the fence to go and get the wife for him to continue maltreating.

In the morning time, I travel to the place with my brother to ask him whereabout my sister. When we later find out the compound she slept that night through calls, we brought her to their house to pack few of her things with the kids. The husband tried to stop us then we graciously kept him in a state he will stay, allowing my sister to pack few of the kids things and her clothes. We now left, taking them to stay somewhere I can't say here because of security reasons, that is where their welfare is been taken care of till this moment.

Just yesterday, my sister's husband went with police and got the estate chairman and local security men detained. They all started calling my sister to come to the station, both the landlord association. When my sister told me about it, I warned her never to go any place since it wasn't even police that was calling her.

Please note that I've every evidence of all I have said here. Both voice recordings, some videos and pictures.

I used my main account to type this to show the extent of authenticity of the narration. When someone is need they don't shy again. Everything concerning my sister affects me wholeheartedly.
I'm only pleading for the next step now the case is like this.
I'm ready to show the evidences but not out here.
The kids here are still tender; 7yrs, 6yrs, 5yrs and 3yrs respectively.

Note: At the initial stage of their marriage before the second kid, stopped my sister from working as a nurse and took all her life savings to make sure she is hopeless.

NotOfThisWorld:
Why does she keep going back to him like a mumu? Why can't someone talk some sense into her? She's not doing the kids any favor by staying with him but she's doing them more harm than good. I guess it's when she leaves in a body bag that she'll have sense.

I understand your plight, I personally was frustrated at the whole scenario. Some people use to say that when girls are in love they misbehave.
I warned my sis not to marry that man, and scolded him that he won't marry my sis, I'm a psychologist even though I was little at the time, they were older than I, but I've discernment.

Telltruth123:
Honestly, I find this story hard to believe because how can somebody hate herself so much.

She didn't hate herself, I'm her little boy they don't listen to me, that is why our elder sis actually died. When I'm done with this issue, I will start her own.
People should know, it's not only about them, some of their circles and family actually loves them and finds it hard losing them, but some people are very inconsiderate about others when it comes to their life, this is what makes others heart broken and refusing to heal when bad things happen to people they love. Please lets consider others that love us, it's not only about us.

@Vertex1, does your sister wish to press charges against the husband for the violent abuse of her person or not? If she is not ready to leave the man, what is it that you hope to accomplish by way of this post? 😒

Kdon2:
"In their family?". One your sister was too inexperienced in matters of men otherwise she would have known better. Besides she is very secretive from what I can infer therefore what makes you think you know her sufficiently. A lot is questionable in this marriage. Maybe there is a lot you don't know.

They didn't show themselves before the marriage, but I've seen it and was telling my sister but like they said, girls in love doesn't listen to anybody. My sister is very inexperienced in many fields of life except that nursing she's doing. What breaks my heart is that they are not aware that they have a wizard of brother.
I'm very close to this my particular sister, without that , she may have died in people's hand, so I know her very well.
The husband and the family always tells me to take it easy and remove myself from the issue of marriage, that he is the husband but he is not aware, I'm already the brother before he came.

Kobojunkie:
@Vertex1, does your sister wish to press charges against the husband for the violent abuse of her person or not? If she is not ready to leave the man, what is it that you hope to accomplish by way of this post? 😒

She is very ready now, she not with the husband again.
I've done psychological work on her, her eyes is very open now. She just want the man to leave her alone. Because he will need to provide for the children too. Please we need justice to take its course.

Kobojunkie:
Your sister is in her endurance wife arc. Only she knows how long this stage of her life will last. I think you should focus your attention instead on teaching the children that their mother's behavior... he refusing to leave an abusive marriage... is not right and detrimental to her sanity and their future if they choose to allow it to hunt them. 😒

She's no longer, since 2016 with 5 procedures on her abdomen. What kind of pain is more than that. This story sounds this way because my sister chooses to allow it to be this bad. I can't endure it again. She can never be with him.
My sister is very talented in nursing because my mum is a nurse too. Now he is trying to put off her light.

Kobojunkie:
Again, your attention should be on helping train the children to see that what their father does to their mother and what their mother does by remaining tied to her violent assaulter in the name of marriage is actually wrong and unacceptable behavior. 😒

Where are your parents in all of this? What does your mother think of all of this? 😒

Yea the kids are very smart, anything the eldest does , they all follow suit. The eldest did not sleep the whole night.

My father is late, my mother is not active.

mysticwarrior:
We need to hear from the husband side of the story before we can conclude from a fair judgement.

The husband is very illiterate, manipulative and deceptive. You need to hear from him with his evidences and witnesses, then hear from my sister with evidences and witnesses. To understand what I'm saying.
Initially I was siding him as per my fellow man without knowing there was physical abuse, because as at then my sister was hiding it.

VERTEX1:
➜She is very ready now, she not with the husband again.
➜I've done psychological work on her, her eyes is very open now. She just want the man to leave her alone. Because he will need to provide for the children too. Please we need justice to take its course.

1. Psychological work on her in how many minutes? Trauma may require years of counseling before one can be considered fully recovered from it. She married him young and he basically used her youth. So, she is not fully healed. Get her professional counseling where possible. 😒

2. She could pursue a formal divorce from him to have him leave her alone. She should probably consider shared custody of the kids since they are, after all, his children too, so she can get herself together, get a job, and get herself established until she is eventually able to claim full custody of the children. Yes, your sister may eventually end up carrying the load alone. 😒

A lot of Nigerian men refuse to pay money to someone they once violently subjugated, even if it means caring for their own kids. Once a woman has managed to escape the noose a man formerly had around her neck, she and everything concerning her ceases to hold relevance to him. I know it does not make sense, but the vast majority of Nigerian men abandon their children, too, once they lose control over their mother. So, your sister may need to carry the load all by herself at the end of the day. Yeah, sadly, Nigerian law still does not really protect women and children in the case of divorce. 😒

Also, consider her safety if shared custody is pursued. 😒

VERTEX1:
➜Yea the kids are very smart, anything the eldest does , they all follow suit. The eldest did not sleep the whole night. My father is late, my mother is not active.

Kids are vulnerable, no matter how smart they present. Your sister, for instance, fell for the manipulation and deceit at a young age, not because she was not smart, but because of childhood trauma. Yes, unresolved trauma from your sister's childhood is the likely reason why she refused to see from the beginning that this man was not someone she should be involved with. 😒

Her children need mental counseling if they are to overcome the trauma of watching their father batter and humiliate their mother. If you want them to grow up into better adults than their father and their mother, you need to start now helping them resolve all the trauma that they have had to endure all of this while. 😒😒

Kobojunkie:
1. Psychological work on her in how many minutes? Trauma may require years of counseling before one can be considered fully recovered from it. She

Also, consider her safety if shared custody is pursued. 😒

Thank you for your input, I don't want divorce per say, I want periodic separation. But the man is unrepentant and irredeemable. My sister is currently not even in the same city with him again, but I'm still doing underground work to get him to be answerable to law.

VERTEX1:
➜Thank you for your input, I don't want divorce per say, I want periodic separation.
➜ But the man is unrepentant and irredeemable.
➜ My sister is currently not even in the same city with him again, but I'm still doing underground work to get under judicially.

What is the value of this periodic separation from someone whom you already describe as having used a machete on her at this point? 😒😒

2. The man is unrepentant, and instead of legally cutting her connection to him, you want to leave open the door to the man coming back to finish what he has already been doing to your sister. Why? 😒😒

3. You have never heard of stalking, abi? You don't know that the man can still find her and maybe even finish her off at that point in time, since he remains her husband? 😒😒😒

VERTEX1:
➜She's no longer, since 2016 with 5 procedures on her abdomen. What kind of pain is more than that. This story sounds this way because my sister chooses to allow it to be this bad. I can't endure it again. She can never be with him.
➜ My sister is very talented in nursing because my mum is a nurse too. Now he is trying to put off her light.

In Nigeria, so long as she remains his wife, he has every reason and right to want to get her back, though. 😒😒

2. While your story paints your sister as a victim in all of this, the greater victims are the children who are being raised on toxic ideas by her for remaining in that marriage. 😒

Kobojunkie:
What is the value of this periodic separation from someone whom you already describe as having used a machete on her at this point? 😒😒

2. The man is unrepentant, and instead of legally cutting her connection to him, you want to leave open the door to the man coming back to finish what he has already been doing to your sister. Why? 😒😒

3. You have never heard of stalking, abi? You don't know that the man can still find her and maybe even finish her off at that point in time, since he remains her husband? 😒😒😒

This is why I posted this here. I learnt something new. My calculations are intact.

VERTEX1:
➜This is why I posted this here. I learnt something new. My calculations are intact.

Was the marriage a traditional marriage or a court marriage? 😒