₦airaland Forum

I Just Found Out My Husband-to-Be Has a 9-Year-Old Child… Our Wedding Is in June

I honestly don’t know what to do right now .
My fiancé and I have been together for about three years. We did our introduction early this year , and our wedding is meant to hold this June.

Out of nowhere, I just found out he has a 9-year-old child from a previous relationship, and he never mentioned it to me once throughout our relationship.

What is breaking me the most is that I had to hear it from another person instead of the man I am about to marry.

When I confronted him, he admitted it. He said he was afraid I would leave if he told me earlier and was waiting for the right time to explain.

Right time? After three years? When wedding plans are already advanced?

Now I feel hurt, angry, embarrassed and confused at the same time. I keep wondering what else someone can hide for this long and still smile with confidence every day.

Everybody is already involved. Families know each other, money has been spent, dates have been discussed, and June is close.

I have not been myself since I heard it.

Am I overreacting if I postpone the wedding? Can trust survive something like this? Or should I take this as a sign and walk away before it is too late?

He said if I truly ever loved him I will forgive him but Please, I need honest advice. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

https://community.escortafrik.com/d/142-i-just-found-out-about-my-husband-to-be

Follow ur heart,may be karama is teaching u a lesson

Me: Follow your heart sweetheart, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful stepmother...😁😁😁

In my head:🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

This isn't the time to ask about forgiveness.

You need to be truthful to yourself.

Ask yourself "if you can/want to be a stepmom".

If your answer is NO, then exit because he will no longer hide the child from you.

You will be stuck with a step child for the rest of your life.

Not everyone can handle that.

Foodqueen:
This isn't the time to ask about forgiveness.

You need to be truthful to yourself.

Ask yourself "if you can/want to be a stepmom".

If your answer is NO, then exit because he will no longer hide the child from you.

You will be stuck with a step child for the rest of your life.

Not everyone can handle that.

Well said.

I could never accept that for myself because I couldn’t get past the deception. If he could lie about something as important as the existence of his own child then what else could he lie about in the future?! This man will have whole families outside his marriage, and you will only find out at his funeral. Don’t fall for the sunk costs fallacy and 🏃‍♂️ 🏃‍♀️ 🏃

And the mf had the effrontery to pull out the …”if you love me, you’ll forgive me….”


Just do you.
If you can put up with this and many more that’ll most likely unfold, please go say I do.

I’m outta here.

Don't marry him

....I keep wondering what else someone can hide for this long and still smile with confidence every day.

Wao!! This statement makes me judge you to be a more mature mind than himself

On this matters, if I found myself in it. I will write down at the things/ behaviors that I cannot live with the rest of my life. If this is one of them, bye bye to the relationship. He'll do similar things in the future.

Nobody is 100% good. So if he scores 60% to 80% behaviors/attitude test in your assessment of him,consider him and go ahead..

I perceive that he fears to loose you in his life but he's not mature. His fear is about to happen to him now

I would have advised you to do to a single father what guys always advise us on this forum to do to single mothers, but who I'm I... Just follow your heart my dear.
Personally I'm still married to a lady who slept with one of the officiating ministers few days to our wedding,. I discovered few months after our marriage. I had not even recovered from the marriage expensis when the news hit me through a text message the man sent to my wife's phone. Some of us are left with scars all through our lifetime

Because you just found out, it shows you put the cart before the horse. If you still decide to go ahead, don't come here and disturb us later.

escortafrik:
I Just Found Out My Husband-to-Be Has a 9-Year-Old Child… Our Wedding Is in June

I
https://community.escortafrik.com/d/142-i-just-found-out-about-my-husband-to-be

The streets are rough. You want to walk away to go and turn to another person's sidechick?

Why are troubling your mind that your husband to be has 9yrs old child?
Did you know that is one night standing or Did he married the 9yrs old child?
I believe you prayed before your enter the relationship and your pastor ordained the relationship and your so called pastor did not see it in spirit that the guy has a 9yrs old child. Please go ahead with your wedding

escortafrik:
I Just Found Out My Husband-to-Be Has a 9-Year-Old Child… Our Wedding Is in June

I honestly don’t know what to do right now .
My fiancé and I have been together for about three years. We did our introduction early this year , and our wedding is meant to hold this June.

Out of nowhere, I just found out he has a 9-year-old child from a previous relationship, and he never mentioned it to me once throughout our relationship.

What is breaking me the most is that I had to hear it from another person instead of the man I am about to marry.

When I confronted him, he admitted it. He said he was afraid I would leave if he told me earlier and was waiting for the right time to explain.

Right time? After three years? When wedding plans are already advanced?

Now I feel hurt, angry, embarrassed and confused at the same time. I keep wondering what else someone can hide for this long and still smile with confidence every day.

Everybody is already involved. Families know each other, money has been spent, dates have been discussed, and June is close.

I have not been myself since I heard it.

Am I overreacting if I postpone the wedding? Can trust survive something like this? Or should I take this as a sign and walk away before it is too late?

He said if I truly ever loved him I will forgive him but Please, I need honest advice. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

https://community.escortafrik.com/d/142-i-just-found-out-about-my-husband-to-be