What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Family › What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? (7260 Views)
| What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 3:54pm On May 20 |
Good day NL! I'm not bouyant financially, how possible/easy for me getting a divorce? I have had it to the brim, I have been holding it for long and now I'm losing it. It's getting to being violent. I don't want to lose my freedom by committing any crime. A child is involved and one is just starting a journey. 10 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by dollytino4real(f): 5:14pm On May 20 |
A beg add me jon, my own the everyday insult in public at home in the presence of my children, pls my own now rent , since he managed to pay 250k he locks us out untill my neighbors will beg for us to enter n sleep 20 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by MarketDispatch: 5:24pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:A wise saying goes....When your dog starts barking at you, someone else is feeding it outside. 35 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 5:31pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:Please move out of the marriage home immediately, if you have not already done so. 😒 Contrary to widespread rumors, only about 10% of divorce cases end with one party paying alimony to the other. This, of course, is dependent on the agreement between the couple at the time the marriage was entered into, as well as the laws in the particular state or district. If you and your party both work, then chances are that the major cost to worry about would be the court fees. As long as there is no violence or abuse against the child, I recommend that, rather than give up custody to your partner or take on full custody, you should opt for shared custody of the child. This will ensure both parents remain a part of the child's life even after the divorce is finalized. 😒 9 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 6:07pm On May 20 |
Kobojunkie:How expensive is the court fee is really my question... Thanks though... 12 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 6:10pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:Find the court closest to you. Call and ask them about filing fees and stuff. If the court has a website, check it for more information. 😒 2 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Onegai(f): 7:59pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:Please calm down, can I send you information via email? And offer counseling Let us step back from the cliff. Because Divorce is wonderful for lawyers looking for rent money. 2 years mandatory separation, if you want to file before then it will cost more. N1million-N6million to file (yes, I am not joking, especially if you're in Lagos or Abuja). You will pay for extra like printing and any other documents lawyer needs. File in High Court, she will be served a month later, she has 30 days to respond and your first court date will be 4 to 6 months after, just for Mentioning. After that, another month or 2 for Conference (you and your wife will go before the Judge, no lawyers allowed to speak and mediate). Then another month or 2 after for your trial. Courts are backed up, so unless she responds back Uncontested, expect to spend 3 years on this matter, some people that got caught during Covid spent 10 years. Even with no kids, you fit spend 2 years if clerks go on strike and since na high court, I dunno how backed up it will be with election tribunals next year (Political Aspirants pay more so their cases will be heard faster than your inconsequential marital issues, sorry  )Are you fighting for custody? Add an additional year plus you'll pay extra for Child Welfare Officers for the mandatory house and school visit. You need to be financially buoyant because you have to pay Child Support or she can garnish your bank accounts If you start dating, she can sue you for Adultery and sue your side chic for alienation. Upto N10million, another court case. Court cases are open, so everyone in court that day (bloggers, other petitioners and anyone who just feels like attending) will be listening to you and her air your very dirty laundry in public. They can write about it too, mentioning your name. Not a crime. Still interested? There's more o... Oya please drink water, let's talk Well over 50% of marriages are salvageable and in 5 years time you'll probably feel different. But if we work on it now, and you give yourself to this process, in 5 years time, I pray I never see you again  Please, let's talk 56 Likes 4 Shares |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by DeepSight(m): 8:04pm On May 20 |
Onegai:Are you a lawyer practicing family law? |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Onegai(f): 8:05pm On May 20 |
DeepSight:Let's just say, my calling is to hold people's hands during a tough period 29 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 8:30pm On May 20 |
Marriage crashes this days feels crazy and here I am dealing with a baby mama and looking for means to bring her back into my life along with my baby cause I can’t bare to grow apart from my child most especially.. 2 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 8:40pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:Ah! So, you are a baby papa pretending he is above his own babymama? 😒 You can get shared custody of your child so you can spend 3 or 4 days out of each week with your own child. 😒 |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Onegai(f): 8:43pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:Propose. Woo her, tenderly. Firstly, become a Good Father: not a Naija father, but the type of Dad you see in the TV show "Bluey". Lovely show. Then become a Husband: Ephesians 5: 21-33, what the Lord demands of anyone entering the covenant. Loverl her like Christ loved the Church, forgive before she has even asked you for forgiveness, don't remember that time she annoyed you last year or that time she was rude (keep no score), let her know that if she is stranded at 7pm at Oshodi, you have a way to get her home safely. And have no other backup options. Your phone should be open to her because why on earth do people demand privacy from someone they created new life with, what private are you privating o jare? Rooting for you bro, you got this 🫰 14 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 8:44pm On May 20 |
Kobojunkie:better go drink on some juice and mind ur effing business 12 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 8:58pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:So, you have a problem being called out for the baby papa/single father that you are? 😒 |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 9:27pm On May 20 |
Kobojunkie:better than being unmarried and searching while clocking 50.. 7 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Allahismylord: 9:29pm On May 20 |
Kobojunkie:Una too dey watch too much American film. Nah one of the major problem we get with some of you that were lucky to learn how to read and right in school. 12 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 9:36pm On May 20 |
Allahismylord:The ability to read and write applies only to those who watch American films? 😒 2 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Kobojunkie: 9:37pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:I don't have a problem with people who are unmarried or searching at 50, nor do I have a problem with baby mamas and baby papas/single fathers in general. But you certainly seem to. That explains why my calling you out for attempting to denigrate a baby mama/single mother when you are yourself a baby papa/single father seems to have gotten under your skin. 😒 4 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 9:42pm On May 20 |
Kobojunkie:issokay let not derail op thread .. 1 Like |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 9:43pm On May 20 |
Onegai:Let me get this straight... Does that mean I'm stuck with her for life if I can't afford a court case? If yes, then somebody's son or daughter will go six feet below or end up in jail one day 8 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 9:48pm On May 20 |
Can't continue with this again and I can't afford to vacate the home for her cos, I work from home, I do my businesses inside my compound and it can't be moved cos getting a space like where I am at is hardly possible. 3 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 9:51pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:seperation should be your next solution for now and don’t tend towards violence cause it solves nothing.. give her a space and get yourself back on track and see wether you still want her in future if No , go ahead and process your divorce .. 2 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 9:56pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:giving the space automatic mean stopping my business, cos i work from home. If I leave how will I live? |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 10:27pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:tell her to leave to her parents place and stay there for the time being .. 9 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by truthhurts2(op): 10:56pm On May 20 |
capetownboyz:she won't. I think she really wants me to do something wild, something really violent to her that'll get me locked up. The more I'm trying to avoid that the more she's really looking for it. It got a little bit violent this morning. She has disappeared now, not coming home to sleep, and to be honest, I really don't care am just worried about my child that's with her. 6 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by capetownboyz(m): 11:15pm On May 20 |
truthhurts2:no matter she will always carry the child along with her , if you hurt her they might see everything as your fault and tag you an abuser and all that .. modern women tempt men a lots this days and push us to the wall .. For me I’m glad my mum stopped me from doing something crazy but looking back now all that anger wasn’t worth it and I feel more for my child being dragged in an adult conflict and I want to grow with her, I don’t subscribe abandoning a child and during separation do well to provide and smooth things via communication even though you don’t intend to be with your wife anymore .. find a way to resolve this issue and seek a separation for the time being . 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Onegai(f): 3:38am On May 21 |
truthhurts2:You're not stuck with her for life, you can walk away and not even file, commit bigamy, adultery (the world doesn't care, we're now encouraged to be as selfish as possible, self-care, choose you, chase your happiness etc). You certainly feel like you're done right now and that's a valid emotion. Emotions are rubbish, only a fool trusts them. Reality is, you're going to be miserable. You will reach levels of misery you didn't even fathom. You think it is bad now, walahi you ain't seen nothing yet. Then you'll stabilise, probably start dating again, feel euphoric in that new love and new freedom. But the romance will die eventually and you'll face your patterns, triggers and mistakes again. And this time you'll be forced to confront them (unless you want a second divorce). And in having to work on it, you'll realize you could have put in that same effort in the first marriage and it will have survived and she was a better fir for you but now you're enduring what you couldn't tolerate before. That's when regret starts to really bloom, because regret is like a Shea butter tree, it takes time to grow. Emotions don't last forever, you once felt happy as a young Nigerian now you hate the country. If you relocate, in 5 years time you'll love Nigeria so much even agege bread will make you weep in nostalgia. I try and talk people out of a divorce because I've seen Divorcees 5 years, 10 years, 34 years down the line. There's a reason that this below is now quietly being admitted to being true, by the people who spent decades telling us selfishness masked as self-care was best 15 Likes
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| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Onegai(f): 3:43am On May 21 |
truthhurts2:I wish you would calm down, because there's nothing you're saying that is shocking. Of course it will get a bit violent, the devil is the hardest worker on Earth, he must sprinkle some levels of violence and because you're not that kind of person to hit a woman, you're shocked at yourself so you think "she's the problem because I'm not like this and when she goes, problem is solved". She too is thinking the same "this man could have killed me, why am I goading him to beat me, I'm not like this, when I leave, problem is solved". Na lie. E go follow u everywia. Calm down, talk to me. A good lawyer or counsellor will do what I'm doing, a lawyer that just wants to make rent for next year in this Tinubu era will draw up papers. A man or woman who is equally sad in their life will tell you to end it. And the devil is always a bastard. Because he's not creative so he uses the same MO for everyone. 12 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Lithiumite: 6:26am On May 21 |
Onegai:Thought it was 3 years mandatory separation,thats really the easiest way out except the other party consents and doesn't contest.......is the divorce automatic after the mandatory separation. |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by Gotocourt: 6:52am On May 21*. Modified: 7:21am On May 21 |
Which cost  , for junction business  . Simply pathways.Nothing spiritual about marriage, just earthly delights 🤷🏿. 5 Likes |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by cricifixo: 6:53am On May 21 |
If this is true please leave the beast dollytino4real: |
| Re: What's The Cost Of Getting A Divorce? by NNEVERAGAINN: 6:57am On May 21 |
dollytino4real:what did you do? Do you still look good in your dressing? And how dirty are you with the kids? Does he like dirty environment, or is there anything he as been complaining abt? Are you badmouthing? Do you nag at him or compare him with another man? 3 Likes 1 Share |
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