₦airaland Forum

"My husband earns N280k, gives his parents N80k, gives me N150k, but refuses to give my parents money" — Lady

A Nigerian woman has stirred debate online after sharing concerns about how her husband handles financial support between both families barely six months into their marriage.

The pregnant woman, who disclosed that she is currently unemployed and expecting her first child, said she feels uncomfortable that her husband consistently supports his own parents and siblings financially but has never extended the same gesture to her family.

According to the post shared on X, the woman explained that her husband earns ₦280,000 monthly and reportedly allocates ₦80,000 to his parents and siblings every month.

She added that he gives her ₦150,000 for household needs and personal upkeep.

However, she argued that the arrangement leaves little room for her to assist her own family, especially with the rising cost of living in the country.

Sharing the story online, she wrote:

“I’m married and pregnant with my first baby. I’m not working. Hubby is earning 280k monthly. He gives his parents and siblings 80k monthly.

Gives me 150k but has never given my parents or siblings money for 6 months that we have been married.

I told him we need to be rotating it. At least give your parents this month and give mine next month. He said no. If I want to give my parents, I should do that from 150k he gives me.

Things are costly. The 150k isn’t even enough and he’s saying I should take from it.”

The post quickly attracted mixed reactions from social media users, with many debating whether a husband is obligated to financially support his wife’s extended family.

Some users defended the man, arguing that the ₦150,000 given to his wife was already a significant portion of his income and that she could choose to assist her family from it if she wished.

Others, however, believed marriage should involve balanced support for both families, especially when one partner is financially dependent due to pregnancy or unemployment.

Several commenters also pointed to the economic realities facing many Nigerian households, noting that managing rent, feeding, healthcare, transportation, and family responsibilities on a ₦280,000 salary could already be financially challenging.

kingthreat:
The man is the foolish one here.
Spending only 50k on himself.

LordBiden:
No you are wrong.

The #150k should be for feeding and general upkeep of the house which the man will benefit from.

Kobojunkie:
This is what happens when women do not ensure they are financially independent before marriage. 😒

SirCloudControl:
➜Nigeria is a poor country but we try to project it as a rich country due to ego. If you are in Nigeria, Talk a walk in the evening and look around the people you see. Then you'll understand.
➜ You can't be financially independent because, you have to keep spending and unable to save. Not even able to save enough money for health. Talk less of being financially independent to help yourself and family

Kobojunkie:
1. This makes no sense! It is a poor country, yet people earn money from jobs and businesses. Is it only the rich who can do all of that? 😒

2. So, the people saving up to build their own homes, purchase land, etc., are not Nigerians but rich aliens? 😒

SirCloudControl:
➜Say no more

Kobojunkie:
The information you posted says that about 36% of those living in Nigeria are not poor and can hence save money from work or jobs. This also means that upward mobility for those living in abject poverty today is not impossible. So, why are you against me suggesting that women wait until they are financially independent to get married? What has A to do with B?