₦airaland Forum

To cut the long story short, I did my traditional marriage 3momths ago, though I met the girl online but before we even started talking about marriage, our chat always flow with fun and togetherness.

But the moment we return back to our base after the marriage this girl started behaving like introvert and a bit celibacy. Won't want to talk to me like in the aspect of gisting and barely share issues and decisions with me. Even the aspect of food she hardly find interest in eating what I'm able to provide.
I've confronted her more than 3 times and reminded her that I told you already before we go into this union that I'm not rich yet and I'm managing, and she assured me that she's also not from a rich home either and she'll be supportive. but now the girl will be acting as if I'm forcing her to eat the rubbish I provided.

I told her that she's free to quit the marriage if she's not that impressed and happy but she doesn't want to or maybe she's thinking of how people will see her.

PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO AS THIS IS AFFECTING MY EMOTIONS?, BECAUSE I'M A GUY THAT DECIDED TO LIVE AND DO MY THINGS ALONE, SO THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE MORE TIME WITH MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WHEN THE TIME COMES.

Na 3 months old marriage don dey experience traffic like this so

Bro,it seems you guys rushed into the marriage too early. The time you guys were supposed to use for dating and courting,una rush convert am into marriage.

Funny enough how you fell for the idea of her managing with you . Just pray that Tinubu shouldn't win his reelection . If not,na then the real Hulk Hogan spirit go take unleash for your wife body come out

Chijeep:
➜To cut the long story short, I did my traditional marriage 3momths ago, though I met the girl online but before we even started talking about marriage, our chat always flow with fun and togetherness.
But the moment we return back to our base after the marriage this girl started behaving like introvert. Won't want to talk to me like in the aspect of gisting and barely share issues and decisions with me. Even the aspect of food she hardly find interest in eating what I'm able to provide.
I've confronted her more than 3 times and reminded her that I told you already before we go into this union that I'm not rich yet and I'm managing but now the girl will be acting as if I'm forcing her to eat the rubbish I provided.
I told her that she's free to quit the marriage if she's not that impressed and happy but she doesn't want to or maybe she's thinking of how people will see her.
PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO AS THIS IS AFFECTING MY EMOTIONS?, BECAUSE I'M A GUY THAT DECIDED TO LIVE AND DO MY THINGS ALONE, SO THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE MORE TIME WITH MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WHEN THE TIME COMES.

If you are tired of the marriage, then take the necessary step yourself.

So you are providing rubbish for the family you love okwaya? Okay oh, kwantinue Mr rubbish.

I'm not but I'm not just welcoming her behaviour. She's a good girl. She doesn't complain about anything but the flow isn't just there. What of when we start having kids?

Kobojunkie:
If you are tired of the marriage, then take the necessary step yourself.

What I mean is that, the way she feels unwqnting to eat self looks like she's seeing it as rubbish. Everyday no be Christmas na

EmpressTitan:
So you are providing rubbish for the family you love okwaya? Okay oh, kwantinue Mr rubbish.

Chijeep:
What I mean is that, the way she feels unwqnting to eat self looks like she's seeing it as rubbish. Everyday no be Christmas na

Sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her in a responsible manner. Lay out your grievances and listen to her feedback and both of you choose to address it as a team for collective best results. No reasonable woman who sees her husband hardworking trying in this Tinubu regime would not be appreciative of her husband. BTW 3months you are here running your mouth talking about divorce...all these ochanja markit marriage sef.

Like I said I've done that already. 3 good times. Me saying that we should divorce is to let her know that if she don't want it anymore I can bear it rather than watch my emotional life ruin by a timid girl that I don't know what will become of her tomorrow

EmpressTitan:
Sit her down and have a heart to heart talk with her in a responsible manner. Lay out your grievances and listen to her feedback and both of you choose to address it as a team for collective best results. No reasonable woman who sees her husband hardworking trying in this Tinubu regime would not be appreciative of her husband. BTW 3months you are here running your mouth talking about divorce...all these ochanja markit marriage sef.

Chijeep:
Like I said I've done that already. 3 good times. Me saying that we should divorce is to let her know that if she don't want it anymore I can bear it rather than watch my emotional life ruin by a timid girl that I don't know what will become of her tomorrow

Amazing the way you speak of your wife behind her back! Imagine what you may have been saying to her or your treatment of her. It may just not be about what you are able to provide... possibly your capacity to be a husband, talk more of a good husband.

Chijeep:
➜I'm not but I'm not just welcoming her behaviour. She's a good girl. She doesn't complain about anything but the flow isn't just there. What of when we start having kids?

She is not the one complaining. You are! So, you need to decide if you are tired of the marriage.

Kobojunkie:
She is not the one complaining. You are! So, you need to decide if you are tired of the marriage.

Hey Kobo, the man is not tired. He just does not love or respect his wife nor marriage... he seem not yo be ready for marriage or willing to stay married.

What is behind here now?
I told you I've discussed this with her more than 3times. I'll ask her if I'm not trying my best and she'll say I am. And I'll ask then why ain't you showing appreciation through happiness and she won't say anything

EmpressTitan:
Amazing the way you speak of your wife behind her back! Imagine what you may have been saying to her or your treatment of her. It may just not be about what you are able to provide... possibly your capacity to be a husband, talk more of a good husband.

I told her that I'm not enjoying her behaviour. That if we continue like this, I'll be forced to seek happiness elsewhere. It me n her everyday and we hardly talk and gist. Just only a normal question if necessary. It's very boring, I don't have friends and nowhere to go

Kobojunkie:
She is not the one complaining. You are! So, you need to decide if you are tired of the marriage.

Sorry, you're wrong.
If I'm not ready I won't go into it.

EmpressTitan:
Hey Kobo, the man is not tired. He just does not love or respect his wife nor marriage... he seem not yo be ready for marriage or willing to stay married.

Chijeep:
What is behind here now?
I told you I've discussed this with her more than 3times. I'll ask her if I'm not trying my best and she'll say I am. And I'll ask then why ain't you showing appreciation through happiness and she won't say anything

All of the facts are not laid out here. We have no idea your wife's perspective. Please go for marriage counseling.

Chijeep:
Sorry, you're wrong.
If I'm not ready I won't go into it.

Okay. Glad I am wrong about that. You both should go for marriage counseling.

Please what can I do?
I don't want to go from frying pan to fire.
If I say I should bear it with her and tomorrow comes it doesn't change I'll be living like a married single man

Sonnobax15:

Na 3 months old marriage don dey experience traffic like this so

Bro,it seems you guys rushed into the marriage too early. The time you guys were supposed to use for dating and courting,una rush convert am into marriage.

Funny enough how you fell for the idea of her managing with you . Just pray that Tinubu shouldn't win his reelection . If not,na then the real Hulk Hogan spirit go take unleash for your wife body come out

Ok, lemme shock you.
We're attending marriage class already. And the teacher advised us to be open to each other in terms of health issue but do you know that this lady didn't inform me that she's having stomach issues until I brought out d talk of this her behaviour

EmpressTitan:
All of the facts are not laid out here. We have no idea your wife's perspective. Please go for marriage counseling.

Chijeep:
➜I told her that I'm not enjoying her behaviour. That if we continue like this, I'll be forced to seek happiness elsewhere. It me n her everyday and we hardly talk and gist. Just only a normal question if necessary. It's very boring, I don't have friends and nowhere to go

. Again, you are the one complaining! If you seek happiness elsewhere, how will that help or change the fact that she may have really checked out on you and the marriage, but is just enduring? Doesn't that make you an even more pathetic entity in the relationship?

Most of the time , 99% of the time , we men are the problem . Bro you only gut one life . Make her happy . Make yourself happy too. I think you're the timid guy here . But you too can improve on yourself . Seem like you build mountains out of molehills..

Arise , speak peace into your spirit

Chijeep:
Ok, lemme shock you.
We're attending marriage class already. And the teacher advised us to be open to each other in terms of health issue but do you know that this lady didn't inform me that she's having stomach issues until I brought out d talk of this her behaviour

Let me break down my own POV.
1. I'm a lonely guy. No friends, just me.
2. She's not based here(JJC) That means it only me n her.
3. We go out to shop, sit down, do business and just stay.
4. Go home rest, and press phone then sleep.
So if it continues like this won't I be forced to be going out for pleasure?

Kobojunkie:
. Again, you are the one complaining! If you seek happiness elsewhere, how will that help or change the fact that she may have really checked out on you and the marriage, but is just enduring? Doesn't that make you an even more pathetic entity in the relationship?

Bro, I've tried.
Atimes, I'll even be encouraging her as a graduate that even if you don't know how to spark liveliness in a marriage, you can go mak research online and bring topics so we can be discussing but all my talk just go like that

Curious345:
Most of the time , 99% of the time , we men are the problem . Bro you only gut one life . Make her happy . Make yourself happy too. I think you're the timid guy here . But you too can improve on yourself . Seem like you build mountains out of molehills..

Arise , speak peace into your spirit

Chijeep:
➜Let me break down my own POV.
1. I'm a lonely guy. No friends, just me.
2. She's not based here(JJC) That means it only me n her.
3. We go out to shop, sit down, do business and just stay.
4. Go home rest, and press phone then sleep.
So if it continues like this won't I be forced to be going out for pleasure?

You lacked a social life and then thought that marrying an equally socially inept woman would somehow resolve this for you? Are you kidding me?

Let me equally break this down for you. Your wife does not seem to be complaining about things as it is. She may have accepted that marriage is not a cure for loneliness or social problems. She may be happy with things as they are. Again, you are the one complaining that marriage has not resolved your loneliness and social life! You are the one who is not happy. If you step out of your marriage to get pleasure for yourself, all while carrying the weight that is marriage, not only will you stress yourself unnecessarily, but you will also shorten your life, much like many men before you have done.

Marriage is not easy, abi you no do relationships before this thing? Ogbeni, carry your cross. You no ask us before you tie knot.

Chijeep:
To cut the long story short, I did my traditional marriage 3momths ago, though I met the girl online but before we even started talking about marriage, our chat always flow with fun and togetherness.
But the moment we return back to our base after the marriage this girl started behaving like introvert and a bit celibacy. Won't want to talk to me like in the aspect of gisting and barely share issues and decisions with me. Even the aspect of food she hardly find interest in eating what I'm able to provide.
I've confronted her more than 3 times and reminded her that I told you already before we go into this union that I'm not rich yet and I'm managing, and she assured me that she's also not from a rich home either and she'll be supportive. but now the girl will be acting as if I'm forcing her to eat the rubbish I provided.
I told her that she's free to quit the marriage if she's not that impressed and happy but she doesn't want to or maybe she's thinking of how people will see her.
PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO AS THIS IS AFFECTING MY EMOTIONS?, BECAUSE I'M A GUY THAT DECIDED TO LIVE AND DO MY THINGS ALONE, SO THAT I'LL BE ABLE TO HAVE MORE TIME WITH MY WIFE AND CHILDREN WHEN THE TIME COMES.

I think she might have Health issues, I would advise you to be the first person to initiate activities and conversations, Sounds silly but just act like she’s pregnant and most importantly don’t read meaning to majority of what she does, do this for a month & hope for the best. I’m sorry to inform you but your honeymoon phase is long gone

Oga that is marriage for you, you have to calm down and your matter is solvable since it not physical abuse give her time because from your post she is not insulting you but just the normal useless lifestyle so many girls out there does...
Calm down and accept your fate and watch things unfold, if she want to leave you let her go
The area of sex maybe she is sick or what she is thinking presently can cause it..
Because as for me whenever I'm sick or whenever I'm having a serious thinking my libido will just vanish, during that period p@na don't move me....

Chijeep:
I'm not but I'm not just welcoming her behaviour. She's a good girl. She doesn't complain about anything but the flow isn't just there. What of when we start having kids?

Thanks so much. But she never deprived me of making love with her but just that she act very boring especially in communication

Kemical23:
Oga that is marriage for you, you have to calm down and your matter is solvable since it not physical abuse give her time because from your post she is not insulting you but just the normal useless lifestyle so many girls out there does...
Calm down and accept your fate and watch things unfold, if she want to leave you let her go
The area of sex maybe she is sick or what she is thinking presently can cause it..
Because as for me whenever I'm sick or whenever I'm having a serious thinking my libido will just vanish, during that period p@na don't move me....

Thanks, she do complain of stomach pain but she said she's not the type that take medication that it'll go naturally. Since like 2months ago

HenryStarlife:
I think she might have Health issues, I would advise you to be the first person to initiate activities and conversations, Sounds silly but just act like she’s pregnant and most importantly don’t read meaning to majority of what she does, do this for a month & hope for the best. I’m sorry to inform you but your honeymoon is long gone

Just 3 months and you fly enter marriage,Nice one!…

Chijeep:
Thanks, she do complain of stomach pain but she said she's not the type that take medication that it'll go naturally. Since like 2months ago

You’re welcome, when there’s enough funds please take her for checkup

It appears you have married an extreme introvert and your courtship was too short so you didn't discover this.

Ok. Thanks

HenryStarlife:
You’re welcome, when there’s enough funds please take her for checkup