₦airaland Forum

Konjiboii:
Omo I get sisters oh and if any one venture brings such a man home na koboko I go use chase am.

This crack me up... Na serious koboko oo

brain54:
:::



At 31 your sister is old enough to know what she wants and make a decision.


The decision isn't up to you or your mom to make. She has made her choice!

But we will partake in the aftermath of her decision if things goes bad...

TheStoriesOfMan:
For the bolded, I used to think it is true until a classmate gave me a contract to deliver shirts for a birthday ceremony for the governor of a South Southern State.

Education does influence the definition of a man. It's not about learning knowledge. It is about networking, psychological and social relationships when dealing with humans.

Even the billionaires who made money and dumped education are now going back to school. Some even regretted not going to school in their youthful days.

All the same, a man armed with knowledge is a man ready for change, ready for civilization/relationships and ready for the future.

Apt.

She should disembark from such relationship ASAP before she regrets it.

Futureyahooboi:
she has masters degree and so what 😡, at age 31 bro honestly you no well because the guy even try to even dey reason to marry her and you are here asking us to give you advice 🤨 you better advice your sister to wait for the right man from Dangote family to come marry her.
Man don really suffer, if no be single mother and who don dey reach menopause go ask for advice 🤨

A Masters holder is lucky that a primary school dropout is considering her.

God forbid I reason like you.

tiswell:
At 31,she don dey tey for house o..

If the prospective husband is financially stable and mentally stable, what's the fuss?

Your sister should tone down the level of her ego and pride as it's with most ladies that age category.

He's not financially and mentally stable and his level of education was brought in as a clause.. we don't know his direction to life...

Gentlesoul2021:
Thank you for your input

unfortunately there's little or nothing you can do about it. Women are weird creatures and will do what they want to do

What a load of balderdash. These people are clearly at opposite ends. The man doesn't have a steady income from all indications that can enable him be a provider.
He will have to lean on your wife on occasion and this could be a significant source of tension. Also educational backgrounds matter. Life experiences matter. He's looking to marry way above his station in life and I'm not sure he's doing it for the right motives.

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want to crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

meobizy:
All these fake stories again.

Not a fake story please.

From what I am seeing I dont see the basic factors of a lasting marriage, like similar values and ambitions...

Sonnobax15:

Is your mother aware your sister has already clocked 31? .

You see this life . Funny life indeed.

A well educated man will marry a stark illiterate woman and upgrade her . But once reverse is the case, it'll look as if the whole world want to crash

Your family should be grateful to that man for at least agreeing to even settle down with someone whom menopause is already smiling at

cus she is 31 she should put her self in life cage, that marriage can never last.

shoodboi2:
It appears you sister is only interested in the marriage because she is older and now has lesser suitors.

The trajectory, dynamics, expectations, and ambitions of both sides is very much different and is going to have disastrous consequences in the future.

Couples should complement and not contradict themselves. Your sister and this man clearly contradict themselves.

Thank you so much..

IdeasPro:
First, her Christian faith should be strong enough to break every yoke if she has good and likable character.

Second, she needs to go on her knees daily asking and praying for God's mercy. We can never tell where we missed it in life.

Third, she must not be desperate to marry. Hear from God speak through revelation about any relationship. If any pastor say and see a man for her, let her ask for personal confirmation from God.

Fourth, she must not adulterate herself with fornication at this dicey time. Destructive temptations exist and they stop destinies from manifesting.

Fifth, her social and faith-based networks and connections should be able to bring her to men of like minds if they observe she has unfeigned virtues that define a virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Above all, trust God for His signs and wonders. God will break every spiritual and human-induced delays in Jesus name.

Amen. Thank you so much for this powerful words..

ravensckar:
Your sister is about to get PHISHED!

A 30+ man with limited education, ancient artisanship and pastorial "calling" is nothing but a domineering, lazy and entitled gold digger. She will learn the hard way!

If you love her deeply, you should do everything in your power to sabotage that union because you'll also bear the brunt of it.

I have no problem with a man not being rich at the moment, but one thing that drives a man is ambition & focus. Any man that lacks that is a living dead and will wreck his partner.

Ambition & focus are what drive men! And clearly, your sister's suitor lacks both. A word is enough....

#Picks_tooth

Thank you so much for this..

IJAYA001:
Have you asked your sister reason of going into marriage with such a man .
If the reason is from their pastor .... NO
If the reason is from family pressure... NO
If the reason is not clearly stated, then know your sister has bought market.

Marriage is not do or die

Thank you so much

12345baba:
Tell ur sister to enjoy her singlehood not all go marry. The red flag on the man too much, ur sister go end up becoming a punching bag.

Thank you for your input

Josywhyte:
Your sister should be the one to make decisions for herself as to whom to marry,not your mother.

Ok

GENTLETEE:
The educational gap is too much and over Reliance by the mother will be a big issue! Your Sister should not settle for this. I believe she deserves better!

Thank you so much

SixSeven:
When you see red flags but still waiting for VAR....

Cloudy red flag

lightwind:
Bro no gree ur sister marry that guy, he wan use am for your sister through church things and way..

Thank you so much my bro oo... Na the thing we all dey raise eye for our sister for...

Cum4me:
tell your sister to run from this religion non hard working man. He will finish your sister if they married. Tell your sister to run as far as she can because she will regrets it

Thank you so much

mirrael68:
That's not true, menopause is still far away. 31 is still good.
With God even nothing is impossible.

Sometimes sole of these kids amaze me on SM well they can only hide behind their keyboard...

slan87:
Love is not enough to sustain a marriage, pls have you spoke to your sister about it?
At least to know if that's what she truly want?

Never marry out of pity

Never marry out of pity, Apt. We have given her our own pieces of advice...

michlins:
unfortunately there's little or nothing you can do about it. Women are weird creatures and will do what they want to do

Right. We've done our all to give the best of advice... Ball now in her court..

Gentlesoul2021:
Good day N'Lander

I need genuine opinions on a relationship dilemma.

My younger sister is 31 years old. She's highly educated with a master's degree, works with an NGO as a Programme Coordinator and Mental Health Counselor, and is also a skilled fashion designer with equipment worth over ₦2 million. She's hardworking, focused, and has consistently supported our family. Her job has taken her across different states, exposing her to diverse experiences and opportunities. Above all, she's deeply committed to her Christian faith.

She recently met a fellow church brother who has expressed serious interest in marrying her. However, he left school after Primary Six and works as a traditional window louvre fabricator. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with learning a trade, he has had opportunities to upgrade his skills to modern aluminium fabrication but hasn't pursued them. Instead, he seems more interested in becoming a pastor or working in a church, though he currently has no clear or realistic path to achieving that.

Another concern is the family dynamic. My mother and the young man's mother serve in the same church unit. On several occasions, whenever he goes out for a job, his mother would call him back or redirect him for other errands, and she would even mention these things to my mother. This has given us the impression that she relies heavily on him, raising concerns about the level of responsibility he already carries within his family and how that might affect his future marriage.

My mother strongly opposes the relationship, believing the gap in education, career progression, ambition, life direction, and even family expectations is too significant. I understand her concerns and tend to agree, but it also raises an important question.

Can love alone sustain a marriage when there's such a wide difference in education, ambition, exposure, career growth, and family responsibilities? Or should long-term compatibility, shared vision, emotional maturity, and the ability to build a stable future together carry more weight than love?

I'd genuinely appreciate respectful and honest opinions from both married and unmarried people. Please keep the discussion civil and objective—this isn't about looking down on anyone because of their educational background or occupation, but about understanding what truly makes a marriage work in the long run.

This young man is already on the disadvantage side, except the lady in question deeply believes in his ambition.

It is not enough to say that surface love can bring them together.

Even the brother is already reading the education gap between them.

Assuming we are back in the days of 1970-1995, i could say the chance are better, but not in 2026 , this era it's not about what God is saying , it is all about Riches and Powerful.

bixton:
I am a bit worried though and I have just two questions before I proceed...

(1) How does he intend to feed his family(wife and children) when he eventually has one when he actually marries?

(2) A mother whose son goes out to work only for her to call him back to attend to her demands, and probably delaying his completion time for work.....!
If she could do that to him, what would he do, when the wife needs him and his mother calls him to come attend to her own demands?

The mother will even ask him a chunk sum of the money hes been paid at work. All of these is being played at my mom's face so she's cautioning my sis...

AlphaTaikun:
Both of them have to be on the same page in terms of intellect regardless of the fact that your younger sister is 31. He has to be an ambitious guy by upgrading himself to the aluminum fabrication business since that's a very profitable business model. Failure to upgrade his skills is a serious red flag for me as a man.

Your sister can assist him to upgrade his career path by having one-on-one discussions with him but the plan to gravitate to full pastoring is another concern. He needs to get his career going to bring in sustainable income and NOT depend on pastoring which can be demanding. Period.

Thank you for this...

BRATISLAVA:
When men are lazy and things don't work out well for them, in Africa they become pastors. At least they'll get easy money through that.

Pathetic and they still wants to bring in a woman to their suffer head...

dbanjj1629:
Tell your sister to run oooo. You mother is not doing too much by opposing the relationship. Its a relationship that is going nowhere.

Race wey pass 100hurdle

kwaso2:
By the Mercies of God, Your Sister and family should run very far away from him and his family. It most likely will not end well.

Thank you so much... I'll show her this thread so she can know she's playing with fire...

Christlike01:
Does your sister love this man? If she does, you and your mum should leave her alone! She is already 31—time is not on her side.
The fact that the man is not educated does not make him disabled or incapable. He may not have a white-collar job, but he is not unemployed.
The choice is your sister's to make. You and your mum should leave her alone. Or do you want to marry her yourselves?

Ok we're only assessing the possible future scenerio