₦airaland Forum

And so what? Many marriages are done out of pity or obsession or lust or transaction not love.

MaziObinnaokija:
The young man should forgive his mother/pray for her forgiveness/reunion back home to her family.

I'm sure that you're from Anambra

And the many women incarcerated pay rents from their prison in different parts of the world?

zoghys:
Are you making this about women or reacting to the topic, because so may women are incarcerated in different part of the world for different reasons.

God, I had headache reading this

Cleties:
The case isin the same page here with me,"mine" Is that my dad got my mother pregnant out of no plans for both as they were at their way to own each other in love,❤️😍it happen where my lost his work by then while we still in Enugu though I'm only son child with my step sister from another lady,my dad were just managing his little income that he earned from his aside business that was been control by my mum cause my doing her work as usually in hospital where she got employed as an supplier and errands surveyor so the whole situation get started now my dad isn't longer working he seems to cool with how things was but In an dilemma he changed saying he regretted marrying and when ever he started my mother sees me as her way out she would render all sorts of words on me telling me that I'm her regret in life she would went ahead asking me the her as a mother all cause of how is is giving her some altitude snout the the good woman for him instead she only care her self and parents however when this occurs I always be centered of topics I'm scared ot both of them right now I'm confused beyond my doubts why shouldn't see something else rather than pointing and directing it all on what is offence.....................

Tales from across the Niger river.

Goo0dHardDick:
I can bet my balls you didn't read the post.

Lemme summarize it for you.

The boy's dad was locked away in prison in China and his mother went to sleep with another man who got her pregnant. Upon returning to the village they discovered she was pregnant, she went and aborted the pregnancy.

Moral lesson: men should take care of themselves because if anything happens to them their beloved wife will forcked another man and will gladly take in for him

13ys lockers up in prison and you expect any woman to be loyal and faithful?

If I ever find myself in such position, I will just tell my wife to move on.

Because there's no way she can wait 13ys .

okomile:
You are young
Pls think of your life
Your parents have lived their life, let them sort themselves

Don't meddle in what you know but not in depth of it all

All the best

if you don't know your history, you don't care about your evolution, then you will be moving around the orbit aimlessly, with all the experience, he can navigate the world of women manipulation to help him succeed in life, the problem we have in this generation is ignoring talking about evil people do

Focus on your life man.

You may even d!e before them!

MaziObinnaokija:
The young man should forgive his mother/pray for her forgiveness/reunion back home to her family.

Infidelity should never be overlooked!! Forgive someone that does that and you'd be seen as a weakling by the person you forgave and they'd do it again!!

Now my father is thinking of div0rcing her....

he's not worth thinking...
divorce her without any benefit...
simple as ABC

He’s talking about marrying the wrong person out of pity or for other reasons. And it’s not just women.
I’ve seen women praying for their sick husbands, and women praying for their husbands in prison.
The message is actually telling people: don’t marry out of pity or other reasons. Marry the right person for you.

Goo0dHardDick:
I can bet my balls you didn't read the post.

Lemme summarize it for you.

The boy's dad was locked away in prison in China and his mother went to sleep with another man who got her pregnant. Upon returning to the village they discovered she was pregnant, she went and aborted the pregnancy.

Moral lesson: men should take care of themselves because if anything happens to them their beloved wife will forcked another man and will gladly take in for him

zoghys:
Are you making this about women or reacting to the topic, because so may women are incarcerated in different part of the world for different reasons.

Even while incarcerated, women still cheat. Any man who puts all his trust on a women will surely die of disappointment. The best way to handle them is as a channel of procreation. If she is loyal, you are lucky, if she is not, once she filfills her purpose in your life, you let go.

floss:
To solve this problem is very easy... The husband should invite people and go to the wife's village or parents house, so that the bride price be returned... Then everyone will be happy, bloodbath will be avoided.

The husband started carrying drugs or was found with one, man must survive.

Who started this nonsense of returning bride price, instead of going to court for proper ending of relationship

Goo0dHardDick:
When we say that women are only interested in what they're milking from men, they'll call us names here and say we hate women.

We'll continue exposing women's psychology

You cannot hate other women and love your mother...
It only makes you an hypocrite mm

Goo0dHardDick:
He probably did that to get money to take care of the woman and give her better life. When things went south, the same wife is knacking numerous men around until she got pregnant.

We have said it several times, a man's sacrifices means absolutely nothing to a woman

Find another reason young man, he couldn't have done that for a woman he married out of pity......yen yen yen

As usual, blame women for everything

Any man that is facing 12 years jail term should just end his marriage and free the woman, no man or woman can remain celibate for 12 years, let's not decieve ourselves.

zoghys:
If the case were reversed and the woman was the one locked up continent away, do you expect the man to stay celibate. Let not justify BS, like the above comment let the guy leave his parent to settle their differences and face his life.

And both you and me know the woman will not pay his rent from prison and be settling school fees from there.

If you are a judge, you will make so many bad judgments out of sentiment or because you’re being feminine.
Did he tell you that the father expected her to stay celibate? The man knows that she’s going to go out at some point. It’s normal for a human being.
The real issue here is her wrong attitude: getting pregnant when she knew she didn’t want to leave the marriage, not responding to him after he paid the house rent, and lastly, refusing to check on him now that he’s out of prison.

zoghys:
If the case were reversed and the woman was the one locked up continent away, do you expect the man to stay celibate. Let not justify BS, like the above comment let the guy leave his parent to settle their differences and face his life.

Goo0dHardDick:
“My father married my mom out of pity, and he regretted it. He wants me to understand seriously that I should never get married to a woman out of pity.

At first, my father started hi.tt. ing my mom when he found that she purposely rem0ved a child for him.

Fast forward to 2013 when my father left for China but due to some circumstances, he was locked up in jail for 12 years.

He returned to Nigeria earlier this year, while in prison, he told my mom to only sell the car he have so she can be able to pay our new terms school fees.

But my mom sold every property he had and went to live in a cheaper house. Of course, the house we were living in was extremely expensive; my father was rich.

When she told my father, he didn't complain that much. Each time my father called from prison, sometimes she didn't answer.

On the day she did answer, my father asked her where she was, and she said she was at the market.

My father told her it was noisy, and as they were discussing something else, my mother told my father that he should not be in China commanding her on what to do in Nigeria. She then ended the call.

On another day, he called her. She picked up the call and was complaining that our house rent would expire soon, so my father provided the house rent from prison.

After she took that money from him, she stopped receiving my father's calls to this day.

In 2017, she slept with another man and got pregnant. My grandfather died then. She came for the burial and that's when my uncle's wife discovered that she was pregnant.

She ran away and later @b0rted the child.

Now my father is back. Do you know I have been telling her to call my father, but she didn't call him? She's saying it's my father who is supposed to call her. Even their family is saying the same thing.

Well, I have stopped talking to her. I'm pained, and I don't even know how hurt my father will be. I'm a man, and I know how I feel. That means I don't think my dad will ever forgive her.

Now my father is thinking of div0rcing her.

I think I'm in support of it and I'll never take care of my mother till she leaves this Life.

I'm the first child. I have 3 siblings: 2 boys and 1 girl.

If they think they can take care of her, they should go ahead; I won't stop them. But as for me, bro, I'll never ever do it.

And if she dies I won't accept to bury her in my father's compound if my father is dead by then. (I'm not wishing de@th for them) But that's reality of life.…” - A 21-year-old Nigerian man has sparked reactions online after vowing never to take care of his mother, as he recounted the events that led to the breakdown of his parents' marriage.

https://www.facebook.com/100067538267625/posts/1364893775771885/?app=fbl

Do not meddle in this matter. Let the elders in both families handle it. Do not poison your siblings' heart against your mother. The woman may have died during the abortion she had for your father.

Besides, love story between man and woman in unpredictable.

Thread softly brother.

A LOT OF WOMEN DONT KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE MEANS BEFORE ENTERING NEITHER DO THEY UNDERSTAND THE OATH THEY SAY WHEN THEY EXCHANGE VOWS
IN MY OPINION MARRIAGE ENTAILS LOVE, DUTY, DISCIPLINE, FAITHFULNESS, LOYALTY AND FRIENDSHIP THEY ARE LIKE DIFFERENT GEARS IN A CAR, THEY FLOW ON THESE PRINCIPLES

MY ADVICE TO THE OP, IS THAT YOU FORGIVE HER, BUT TELL THE TRUTH TO YOUR FATHER AND LET YOUR MOM BEAR THE CONSEQUENCES OF HER ACTIONS

IT IS ALSO FAIR IN THE EYES OF GOD....YOUR FATHERS DECSION BASED ON THE FACTS OF THE MATTER IS TOTALLY HIS CHOICE TO MAKE

ITS A SAD REALITY BUT YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG

Goo0dHardDick:
I can bet my balls you didn't read the post.

Lemme summarize it for you.

The boy's dad was locked away in prison in China and his mother went to sleep with another man who got her pregnant. Upon returning to the village they discovered she was pregnant, she went and aborted the pregnancy.

Moral lesson: men should take care of themselves because if anything happens to them their beloved wife will forcked another man and will gladly take in for him

Additional moral lesson: Don't go to China and do things that will get you locked up in jail or that thing for which Singapore executes greedy people!

Young Man, my advice

Be neutral, please

This is two adult fighting . Dont get yourself involve. Rather pick your lessons from the whole situation and do whatever with it.

I am a man. I understand half of the story. Take care of both in the little way you can. it's their lives

Your own challenge is coming the decide to get married. Be prepared for that rather focusing or trying to repair the love life of two adult that you dont know how they met r how their connection start.

Get prepared for yours. that is why i said pick lessons from the whole situation

Your father locked in jail, no reason given.








Very important.

### The Real Lesson Isn't About Skills—It's About Standards

This may be unpopular, but I think the original article misses an important point.

The problem is not that a woman earns less money than a man.

The problem is when a man chooses a partner based on pity, rescue fantasies, or the belief that he can "fix" someone's life.

Too many men are taught that being a good man means taking responsibility for an adult who has not taken responsibility for herself. They see a woman struggling and immediately feel obligated to become her provider, mentor, sponsor, and life coach.

That is not marriage.

That is adoption.

A relationship should be a partnership between two adults who have both invested in themselves.

It is interesting that society often tells men to "build together" with women who have little to offer financially, professionally, or personally. Yet very few people would advise a successful woman to marry a man with no ambition, no skills, no career direction, and no plan for his future.

Women are generally encouraged to marry across or above their socioeconomic level. Men are encouraged to ignore these considerations and focus on being providers.

That double standard deserves discussion.

The question is not whether a woman currently makes less money than a man. Many successful marriages involve one spouse earning more than the other.

The real question is: **What has this person done with the opportunities available to them?**

Do they have discipline?

Do they take responsibility for their choices?

Do they continuously improve themselves?

Do they bring value beyond their appearance and emotions?

If someone has spent years making poor decisions and has shown little effort to develop themselves, it is reasonable to question whether they are truly prepared for a serious partnership.

Love alone cannot compensate for a lack of character, discipline, ambition, or accountability.

Men should stop feeling guilty for having standards.

A man is not obligated to become a rehabilitation project for another adult.

He is not obligated to sacrifice his future because someone else failed to prepare for theirs.

Marriage works best when both people come together as complete individuals who are already moving forward in life—not when one person is expected to carry the entire weight of the relationship.

The goal should not be to marry "below" or "above" your status.

The goal should be to marry someone whose mindset, values, work ethic, and contribution match your own.

That is a stronger foundation than love, money, or sympathy alone.

MissOpe:
You cannot hate other women and love your mother...
It only makes you an hypocrite mm

i do

babakb:
As usual, blame women for everything

Any man that is facing 12 years jail term should just end his marriage and free the woman, no man or woman can remain celibate for 12 years, let's not decieve ourselves.

No young, sexually active woman can stay celibate for 12 weeks all na wash for who no wise

babakb:
As usual, blame women for everything

Any man that is facing 12 years jail term should just end his marriage and free the woman, no man or woman can remain celibate for 12 years, let's not decieve ourselves.

He was in prison for 12 years, so where will he see a woman to sleep with?

If I want to tell you mine no? Just Forgive her and move on.You do not know what happened exactly.

purpleicious:
If I want to tell you mine no? Just Forgive her and move on.You do not know what happened exactly.

Lol

1Alex:
he is not a minor. He is an adult. He has a say. Whatever decision he takes is his'.

No he doesn't have a say in decision made by his parents to each other. He is not party to the union between his parent and beside, it is disrespectful to be meddling or taken side with his parents issues!

Josewhite:
If you are a judge, you will make so many bad judgments out of sentiment or because you’re being feminine.
Did he tell you that the father expected her to stay celibate? The man knows that she’s going to go out at some point. It’s normal for a human being.
The real issue here is her wrong attitude: getting pregnant when she knew she didn’t want to leave the marriage, not responding to him after he paid the house rent, and lastly, refusing to check on him now that he’s out of prison.

Well if I were a judge I won't rely on just a person's story to make my judgement. There are lots of questions begging for answers and if the woman is given the opportunity to air her own side of the issue, then we will have a clearer picture of the true situation. Am not feminine in anyway, I know lots of them are scums and shouldn't be a time of the day, but then their more to the story than what the boy state.