₦airaland Forum

MissOpe:
Because na her inlaws born them??

You do well....

the widow was not the person that bought baby food when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that bought diapers when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that bought baby clothes when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that cleaned and wipe the man's nyash when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that paid the school fees of the man from day care to secondary school.

the widow was not the person that sent the man to university.

the widow was not the person that paid hospital bills when the man was a baby till he became an adult.

Wetin End Time get to do with father in-law for this will matter?

mrkings84:
End time father in law with witchy mind

codemaniacs:
the widow was not the person that bought baby food when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that bought diapers when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that bought baby clothes when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that cleaned and wipe the man's nyash when the man was a baby.

the widow was not the person that paid the school fees of the man from day care to secondary school.

the widow was not the person that sent the man to university.

the widow was not the person that paid hospital bills when the man was a baby till he became an adult.

The man didn't ask to be born by his parents..

His parents (man and woman) sat down and decided to have a child (the man) that will continue their legacy, children are not assets and investments.....

Now same man decided with his widow to have children, anyone who decides to have children must be responsible for them regardless of their status....

I mean when a man and woman are divorced or separated, the man pays child support and is responsible for the upkeep of the children, shey na when he come die he go abandon his duties to the woman especially when he has assets to take care of them.....?

Rubbish and ingredients

SixSeven:
One thing I don't ever forget is that we are animals. Because of that, I know that the most important things I can pass on are not what people can take from them

They'll be fine without me. It's been a privilege teaching them

I have a question. If you give to charity, isn't it God's work that the ex-wife is helping the efulefu? Isn't that your manhood living on

Oh, I already give to those who need my charity. I get to decide who deserves my charity. While I am alive.

Fact is, the young man who died left young kids behind. Kids, he didn't live long enough to "teach" or give other "monetarily unquantifiable things." Kids who might not even physically remember him. Due to their young age.
I like your idealism, but sadly, the fate of some won't allow them to bequeath those lofty things you mentioned.

There is no scenario where it's going to be palatable to allow a woman to give my sweat to another man.

If material things are not important, then one washed-up guy should not need to have mine.

Let us start with what killed the young man

This is what premature death causes

But the woman has 2 sons for the late husband so what's the cruise

What name is on the document of the property, don't she have a copy

why the woman so quick to go to the media too

She should have just gone to her family and leave the sons with the father in law

Document things as they are unfolding to her own lawyer and take action at right time

Stephen0mozzy:
A Will is a legal document backed by government (Judiciary). You're not trusting the "behavior" - you're ensuring Everyone respects your will.

If the man had a will, all this lady would have had to do is submit a lawsuit/petition for encroachment.

Wills can be contested and some genuine wills have been set aside due to the activities of some shady lawyers in the past.

pinkygurl:
sharp!
The will make sense cos once she remarries what if she kpais her new husband will inherit her house asap 🏠 🏡.laying claim to what he did not 🚫 labour for.
Even some wives can connive with their new boyfriend to sell off the property and share the proceeds. Women are easily manipulated.
But again, where children are involved, it's always wise to leave something exclusively for the children and something for the woman to fall back on and sustain your little kids till they are of age.

She must be mandated not to sell off the property until the children are eighteen and can decide



Not derailing this thread 🧵 but
At the bolded, what do you mean by OF COURSE, all of us that did the farming all failed as if it's a guaranteed must that fish 🐟 🐠 farming business MUST fail.of course.

What do you mean by OF course ?
Do you mind throwing a little more light ?
Any few tips for upcoming first time fish farmers to avoid failing

you know how it is with us here in naija, a trend will appear, everyone will enter it hoping to cask out, so called consultants will come up collecting money to consult meanwhile you find out later they never ran a farm with their own money. Just as when forex was the trend, even a guy I knew as a "jack if all trade" was collecting money to train people only to confide in me he was not crazy enough to do live trade with his real money. Lol
So the trend back then, those that had savings went into fish farming, a consultant gave me business plan, 5 concrete ponds each with 4k fish capacity ie 20k capacity, with bio tower, hatchery etc. Long and short I put in all my money, different problems, infact the day I sold my first batch of fish, ie the biggest ones sorted in the first pond, I was expecting Eg 3m, Omo by the time they sold it all na last na like 80k!, I spoke with my Dr friend, he told me to go and buy Valium, I got to Teo pharmacy, they said they will not sell without proscriptiom, the owner looked closely at me and said it seems you really need it, he gave me, lol.
So many problems, infact the other "consultant" I thought was a saviour sold me "runts" which I then feed for months with coopins, but them no gree grow! I even started milling my own feed.
Anyway, not only with me did it not work, one other guy got tired and rented out his pounds, Omo, those peoole abandoned thee place after 5 months forgetting their rent, lol. He later sold the place and relocated to the US. Another friend turned his place to short time hotel and beer parlor. That was how the story went for ever other person I knew that went into that useless business. One baba told me the that fish farm was for old retired people, not for young men starting life.
I am not saying you or other will not be sucessful in it ohh, don't misunderstand me, but that business no be for me, infact for years when I see catfish, my body go de shake as if I get fever, lol.
Yes I can have a plastic tank in my house and grow fish as a hobby, sell one or two once in a while, but to say na business, naa, I am not cutout for that.
I did my farm around that 2003-2004 period if I remember right.

Family is SWEET when father is alive( including polygamous families especially with comfortable dads).

Women need to know their rights even before such greedy families want to take over.

I remember a young man of about 27yrs old who died, he was into fish farming and making money, already built a house and had bought a car then. However, he died in an accident. What followed next was his father( a polygamous man) taking over everything he owned and chasing out the wife he did traditional marriage with who had a child for him, telling her to go and remarry. I wonder how he expects her to take care of his grandchild all alone without support?

What if the woman is bringing another man into the house to be servicing her engine because at 28 yrs no young woman like that will remain single or better still not Recieving visitors to knack her it’s called come and go knacking

crestedaguiyi:
Questions should be asked before taking sides. Many men wish they could end the marriage or have the opportunity to have a marriage with an expiry date, as in something with an expiry date.

If you think i am lying, check bars and restaurants in the evening after work to see many men remain there till 8 or 9 before going home; e no rosy for house na im make them chill for bar so that before them reach house, them go don dey well na just to bath go bed go remain.

It is not always because the home is not peaceful. In most cases, it is always because the home could be boring. Most men love being outside often, most women love being inside often.

MissOpe:
The man didn't ask to be born by his parents..

His parents (man and woman) sat down and decided to have a child (the man) that will continue their legacy, children are not assets and investments.....

Now same man decided with his widow to have children, anyone who decides to have children must be responsible for them regardless of their status....

I mean when a man and woman are divorced or separated, the man pays child support and is responsible for the upkeep of the children, shey na when he come die he go abandon his duties to the woman especially when he has assets to take care of them.....?

Rubbish and ingredients

@MissOpe, you can't change the way they reason. It is their culture. Although, the Nigerian constitution frowns at that but you can't change the mentality. I have also tried to educate some of them on these but they just can't reason that way.

You aren't from the same region, so you'll not understand. Ideally, a man only belongs in a family when he's still single. The moment he gets married, he gets his own family and becomes the head of a family. That way, he's in partnership with his wife to bear children. And in partnership, when a partner dies, the surviving partner continues the business and how he/she runs it is nobody's headache. Even if she likes, let her remarry tomorrow. Provided she carries along the children, who are the ultimate beneficiaries of the properties, she's good!

But leave culture for it's owners.

U never see something na why! Think u can pls humans? Just pray never to be at the mercy of anyone.

crestedaguiyi:
No family will turn against the daughter-in-law who treated them well when their son was alive; it rarely happens. It all starts with how you treated them when their son was alive.

Some people can't visit their siblings because of the kind of wife he has and her attitude towards them. there has to be bond between the woman and her new family; otherwise, she should be ready for what will happen when the man dies before her. It will be worse when they know she never had anything tangible like work or business of her own .

But 8n days sha too quick, they have been planning her behind the scene. hope they are not responsible for the mans death

Wo! You've said it all jare

SixSeven:
It should not even be a condition. This is why we have rites and traditions. This is why we have religion. This is why we have law. Do people follow it all the time? No. I am not giving bad behavior an excuse but telling her to be a good wife (which is what is supposed to be) and because she wasn't 'good', you deny her what she is entitled to is all emotions. Even if the family did not like her and their son gave her all his properties, it's his. It's your son you have influence over, not her. Again, this is why we have all the customs and traditions which some of us left, and now with law, no be everyone go obey am. Even if they obey it, they will go through the backdoor to frustrate her. This is why family is very important for women when they want to marry. You need your family's support to protect you in this world of voyeurs and hyenas.

That's human beings for you. You can be good to someone and they don't remember the good when it's time. I am not trying to scare anyone or be negative, I'm just saying the reality because these stories happen, we only pray it should not be our portion but how can you control people? You can fight, yes but you and I are unpredictable. That's reality my friend

Both parents, siblings, spouse, and children are all IMMEDIATE FAMILY members. If you mean not to cut off father, mother and siblings from a Will, on what grounds should they be included in one's final Will & Testament?

Stephen0mozzy:
If you have kids when you marry:
Write a Will!
Write a Will! Write a Will.

Don't completely cut out your immediate family from your assets sha, but ensure properties are willed to your kids and wife - clearly defined - WITH A CLAUSE THAT WHEN SHE REMARRIES, THE OWNERSHIP MUST BE PASSED DOWN TO YOUR OWN KIDS - AND IF THE KIDS ARE YOUNG, THE PROPERTIES CANNOT BE SOLD UNTIL THE KIDS ARE OF ADULT AGE.

If you feel your wife is a skosko, then will the properties to your kids and hire a Lawyer as an executor of your estate, abi as them dey talk am.

Meanwhile, the government (Ministry of Women Affairs) should take that family on an excursion to prison.

MissOpe:
The man didn't ask to be born by his parents..

His parents (man and woman) sat down and decided to have a child (the man) that will continue their legacy, children are not assets and investments.....

Now same man decided with his widow to have children, anyone who decides to have children must be responsible for them regardless of their status....

I mean when a man and woman are divorced or separated, the man pays child support and is responsible for the upkeep of the children, shey na when he come die he go abandon his duties to the woman especially when he has assets to take care of them.....?

Rubbish and ingredients

the woman did not ask to be born by her parents.

Her parents (man and woman) sat down and decided to have a child (the woman) that will continue their legacy..

you are wrong, children are definitely assets and investments.

anyone who decides to have children must be responsible for them regardless of their status which means the widow's parents should take care of the widow and let the care of the children go to both the widow's parents and the dead husband's parents and the widow herself.

this is not a divorce..

if the widow can not afford to pay rent in another property do you think she can afford to take care of the children, feed them, pay their school fees, pay Land Use Charge annually on the house, hospital bills e.t.c..

if her own parents cannot support her financially now that she is in need, do you think her own parents will support her children financially...

yemre:
@MissOpe, you can't change the way they reason. It is their culture. Although, the Nigerian constitution frowns at that but you can't change the mentality. I have also tried to educate some of them on these but they just can't reason that way.

You aren't from the same region, so you'll not understand. Ideally, a man only belongs in a family when he's still single. The moment he gets married, he gets his own family and becomes the head of a family. That way, he's in partnership with his wife to bear children. And in partnership, when a partner dies, the surviving partner continues the business and how he/she runs it is nobody's headache. Even if she likes, let her remarry tomorrow. Provided she carries along the children, who are the ultimate beneficiaries of the properties, she's good!

But leave culture for it's owners.

And the fact that the world (the men and even some women) are against women.....

The earlier tradition and cultural rules were made and by men, so I understand why the system is like it today...
Thankful for the women who rebelled and still rebelling to protect themselves and eradicate the patriarchy , if not women wont have it easy like they are having It now , even though the system still holds ground in some places.....but it aint as strong as before...
..........

codemaniacs:
the woman did not ask to be born by her parents.

Her parents (man and woman) sat down and decided to have a child (the woman) that will continue their legacy..

you are wrong, children are definitely assets and investments.

anyone who decides to have children must be responsible for them regardless of their status which means the widow's parents should take care of the widow and let the care of the children go to both the widow's parents and the dead husband's parents and the widow herself.

this is not a divorce..

if the widow can not afford to pay rent in another property do you think she can afford to take care of the children, feed them, pay their school fees, pay Land Use Charge annually on the house, hospital bills e.t.c..

if her own parents cannot support her financially now that she is in need, do you think her own parents will support her children financially...

I see...

So the reason you decided to have children....for investments purposes..

A selfish reason I must say..

Goodluck

ZeekrX9:
Both parents, siblings, spouse, and children are all IMMEDIATE FAMILY members. If you mean not to cut off father, mother and siblings from a Will, on what grounds should they be included in one's final Will & Testament?

How about the grounds of love?

I care about my parents and siblings, if for any reasons I go to the afterlife before them, I'll like them to have something from my toils on earth.

MissOpe:
I see...

So the reason you decided to have children....for investments purposes..

A selfish reason I must say..

Goodluck

children are to continue legacy..

they have to be guided, nurtured and trained consistently so that they become productive and financially independent adults that can hold their own anywhere they are....

the widow can not hold her own anywhere she is and that is a product of bad parenting...

her in-laws duties are to the children of the man and not to the widow but they can out of empathy for the widow and to let the children grow up with their mother let her stay in the man's house.

Hope he wasn't killed by his family? People that can do this are capable of anything. He still has the greedy father in laws grandsons who will take his sons place so why chase them? Or didn't she live well with their son? Even at that they have no right to the man's properties.
The lady should take those kids and flee that area for sometime. You cannot trust what those family members would do now they have been exposed. People are diabolic these days.

MissOpe:
And the fact that the world (the men and even some women) are against women.....

The earlier tradition and cultural rules were made and by men, so I understand why the system is like it today...
Thankful for the women who rebelled and still rebelling to protect themselves and eradicate the patriarchy , if not women wont have it easy like they are having It now , even though the system still holds ground in some places.....but it aint as strong as before...
..........

Yes, traditions and culture made by men, majorly in Africa. It's not like that in the western world! In fact, going by the information I have, women come 4th and men come 6th in hierarchy in a country like the US. Even the handicapped (that we hardly give recognition here), little kids and dog come before men!. You don't go to a western country and try that African tradition. And the interesting thing is that their law and constitution supersede and overshadow their local traditions. Women are well protected.

But this is Nigeria. The federal government is supposed to put a stop so all of these and make some people scape goat to enforce the supremacy of the Constitution because that's where the women's rights are enshrined.

codemaniacs:
children are to continue legacy..

they have to be guided, nurtured and trained consistently so that they become productive and financially independent adults that can hold their own anywhere they are....

the widow can not hold her own anywhere she is and that is a product of bad parenting...

her in-laws duties are to the children of the man and not to the widow but they can out of empathy for the widow and to let the children grow up with their mother let her stay in the man's house.

Great....
I hope same measure is applied for your mother when your father dies.......

Shalom

MissOpe:
Great....
I hope same measure is applied for your mother when your father dies.......

Shalom

we are all adults in my family..

so when my father dies whatever he owns will go to his children automatically since we are adults there won't be extended family interference.. and our mum is almost 70 years old..

in the widow's case, the children are young and she is 28 years old which means she can re-marry and she and her new husband can claim the property and sell the property..

shalom..

Islie:
https://punchng.com/father-in-law-locks-out-28-year-old-widow-eight-days-after-husbands-death/

If they are statutorily married, she should quickly approach the Probate Registry or the Courts to secure the late husband's properties for her and her sons. Once she gets Court order or appointed administrator of the late husband's estate, the in-laws are restricted except they want to be held in contempt of the Court order.

codemaniacs:
we are all adults in my family..

so when my father dies whatever he owns will go to his children automatically since we are adults there won't be extended family interference.. and our mum is almost 70 years old..

in the widow's case, the children are young and she is 28 years old which means she can re-marry and she and her new husband can claim the property and sell the property..

shalom..

I don't think the widow would that for the sake of her husband's former juju except she's under a spellll...

No right thinking woman would do such thing to her children....
At least I wont do that...

But this is an eye opener for women.....
They should chase careers and find their feet because of situations like this ..
stop trying to stay home, be an house wife all in thr name of caring for children that husband's family will say you have no input to the family when the chips are down ....

MissOpe:
I don't think the widow would that for the sake of her husband's former juju except she's under a spellll...

No right thinking woman would do such thing to her children....
At least I wont do that...

But this is an eye opener for women.....
They should chase careers and find their feet because of situations like this ..
stop trying to stay home, be an house wife all in thr name of caring for children that husband's family will say you have no input to the family when the chips are down ....

you are not the woman.

the woman already had her ex-husband's father arrested and the rest of the family won't take it well with her on that note..

women need to chase ownership of companies and collaborations with each other not just careers because majority of careers won't make them naira millionaires..

walking around Lagos and seeing pregnant women coming from work without cars tells me that most women in Lagos are not prepared for financial independence and Lagos is a commercial center so that means the situation of women in other states is much worse...

the ex-husband's family should take care of the children and the woman should not try to use the children against the family...

both the ex-husband's family and woman are most likely struggling in this bad economy. they have to sort themselves out before it consumes them...

codemaniacs:
you are not the woman.

the woman already had her ex-husband's father arrested and the rest of the family won't take it well with her on that note..

women need to chase ownership of companies and collaborations with each other not just careers because majority of careers won't make them naira millionaires..

walking around Lagos and seeing pregnant women coming from work without cars tells me that most women in Lagos are not prepared for financial independence and Lagos is a commercial center so that means the situation of women in other states is much worse...

the ex-husband's family should take care of the children and the woman should not try to use the children against the family...

both the ex-husband's family and woman are most likely struggling in this bad economy. they have to sort themselves out before it consumes them...

Na so companies easy to chase

Career sef no easy to chase talk more of company, i put it to you that most conpanies you see around have foundation based on fraud (but we are not ready for that discussion),

Look at the scenario of the pregnant working woman coming from work you gave earlier..

So you mean a woman will go to work, take the risk to birth and care for a child and when bad situations happen, you expect her to dump her children to your gender's family cos na them get the children

Think again man, think❗

MissOpe:
Na so companies easy to chase

Career sef no easy to chase talk more of company, i put it to you that most conpanies you see around have foundation based on fraud (but we are not ready for that discussion),

Look at the scenario of the pregnant working woman coming from work you gave earlier..

So you mean a woman will go to work, take the risk to birth and care for a child and when bad situations happen, you expect her to dump her children to your gender's family cos na them get the children

Think again man, think❗

if they do not have well to do parents and if they do not have a high paying job of at least ₦500,000 ₦800,000 per month salary then yes they should leave the child with the father's family.

in Nigeria there are no government created safety nets for anyone so let the father or if the father has passed away like this case, keep the children and take care of them..

most companies you see around have foundation are NOT based on fraud..

codemaniacs:
if they do not have well to do parents and if they do not have a high paying job of at least ₦500,000 ₦800,000 per month salary then yes they should leave the child with the father's family.

in Nigeria there are no government created safety nets for anyone so let the father or if the father has passed away like this case, keep the children and take care of them..

most conpanies you see around have foundation are NOT based on fraud..

Ok

MissOpe:
No mind them, because when they were alive they chopped other women asides their wives, and they dont want such to happen to them alive or dead...😂😂

Awon ole buruku

Why are you taking it so personally?