₦airaland Forum

If one keep waiting for naija economy to improve in order to marry, one might wait till they are 60 year old except you have decided that you are not the marrying type or you are planning to JAPA from Nigeria as a single person or you do not see yourself dating a Nigerian, You know yourself, The economy might improve but no one knows when it will to be frankly honest. You can marry now and wait to have children later. You do not have to start having children instantly as soon as you get married. There are a lot of couples who have married and waited to have children or decided not to have children as a decision. Yes your parents or your elders want you and spouse to have children but if you cannot afford a child now, then wait or only have one child if family pressure is too much. You and spouse do not have to 3 to 10 kids if you are struggling. 1 child is enough, you are not Father Abraham, after all , Sarah had only Isaac.

Truth is, you have a lot of points. But a clarification needs to be given.

If you're struggling in this economy, don't dare marry a person who is not equally hardworking and willing to build financial freedom with you.

Don't marry someone who still thinks clubbing is more important than personal development or improving your skills/business.

If you're going to wait before you start having kids, then maybe wait a little before deciding to settle down.

AND BY STRUGGLING, IT DOESN'T MEAN IN PENURY - don't extend the poverty into a new generation. You should have atleast a stable income, one side hustle and you have mapped out a realistic plan of improving your finances.

Elsez you're likely going to divorce, or worse, kpai because of hypertension. Married life cost, na you no know.

Discover you skills and start any small thing you can...

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As a struggler whatever you do no go marry liability gum your skin.


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Broke men are passing through alot in the hands of this current crops of bannies that God has been dishing out into Nigeria .

Even in your broke stage, you'll still waka meet one brainless entity who will be billing you untop . Nigerian bannies wey dey bill hell, without an atom of conscience at all.

In as much as I'm in support of op's points but as a broke man, you'll need to sit down reason your life well first before thinking of embarking on that journey

Ibrahim1985:
If one keep waiting for naija economy to improve in order to marry, one might wait till they are 60 year old except you have decided that you are not the marrying type or you are planning to JAPA from Nigeria as a single person or you do not see yourself dating a Nigerian, You know yourself, The economy might improve but no one knows when it will to be frankly honest. You can marry now and wait to have children later. You do not have to start having children instantly as soon as you get married. There are a lot of couples who have married and waited to have children or decided not to have children as a decision. Yes your parents or your elders want you and spouse to have children but if you cannot afford a child now, then wait or only have one child if family pressure is too much. You and spouse do not have to 3 to 10 kids if you are struggling. 1 child is enough, you are not Father Abraham, after all , Sarah had only Isaac.

You may be right but generational poverty is real. You may exit this life as a wretched man.

Amovingman:
will Nigeria women marry broke Nigeria men
Ask yourself that question

It is only on Nairaland you guys ask this question. In the real world, there are several poor couples. In fact, there are more struggling couples/families than the affluent ones. They are so much that conversations centered around having fewer kids began to come up.

The problem is many of you want Lambo on a 504 budget. Accept it or not, humans exist in different class and forms. It is nothing to be bitter about like many of you do. Just find a woman that aligns with you and marry. I am sure there is a woman that likes you, but you don't want her because she is not boogie. Accept her and start a family.

However, do not bring a child you cannot raise to this world! The world has suffered too much from ill-raised offsprings!

Marriage is overrated. There are lots of things to do with your life than be stuck in a spot getting debits.

Ibrahim1985:
If one keep waiting for naija economy to improve in order to marry, one might wait till they are 60 year old except you have decided that you are not the marrying type or you are planning to JAPA from Nigeria as a single person or you do not see yourself dating a Nigerian, You know yourself, The economy might improve but no one knows when it will to be frankly honest. You can marry now and wait to have children later. You do not have to start having children instantly as soon as you get married. There are a lot of couples who have married and waited to have children or decided not to have children as a decision. Yes your parents or your elders want you and spouse to have children but if you cannot afford a child now, then wait or only have one child if family pressure is too much. You and spouse do not have to 3 to 10 kids if you are struggling. 1 child is enough, you are not Father Abraham, after all , Sarah had only Isaac.

I hope you're married before advising us. You go first taste the consequences of getting married being broke as a man before you advice us.

If two people mean well for each other, then the economical situation should not determine if they will marry or not.

It can influence how big their wedding will be, if they should live in a big house, or if they should go for honeymoon. But to marry is all about the heart.

Infact, it is economical to live as a couple, than for each person to live independently. If you want to fight poverty, it is also easier to achieve that as a couple than being single.

But if one person in the marriage is unrealistical, and have the mindset of being a burden on the other, then such marriage is built on a false foundation and should not hold.

Let me leave this here.

pansophist:
If two people mean well for each other, then the economical situation should not determine if they will marry or not.

It can influence how big their wedding will be, if they should live in a big house, or if they should go for honeymoon. But to marry is all about the heart, and not about finance.

Infact, it is economical to live as a couple, than for each person to live independently. If you want to fight poverty, it is also easier to achieve that as a couple than being single.

But if one person in the marriage is unrealistical, and have the mindset of being a burden on the other, then such marriage is built on a false foundation and should not hold.

This is true especially in the Western world.

Sonnobax15:

Broke men are passing through alot in the hands of this current crops of bannies that God has been dishing out into Nigeria .

Even in your broke stage, you'll still waka meet one brainless entity who will be billing you untop . Nigerian bannies wey dey bill hell, without an atom of conscience at all.

In as much as I'm in support of op's points but as a broke man, you'll need to sit down reason your life well first before thinking of embarking on that journey

Even the rich ones are getting billed, so it makes no differences at all. You can have 100 million naira or 1 billion naira, billing does not stop.

Cum4me:
I hope you're married before advising us. You go first taste the consequences of getting married being broke as a man before you advice us.

I see poor people get married.

Kaczynski:
Marriage is overrated. There are lots of things to do with your life than be stuck in a spot getting debits.

Then you are not the marrying type which is very okay

Ibrahim1985:
Then you are not the marrying type which is very okay

What's your goal in marriage or you have succumbed to societal pressure??

pocohantas:
It is only on Nairaland you guys ask this question. In the real world, there are several poor couples. In fact, there are more struggling couples/families than the affluent ones. They are so much that conversations centered around fewer kids began to come up.

The problem is many of you want Lambo on a 504 budget. Accept it or not, humans exist in different class and forms. It is nothing to be bitter about like many of you do. Just find a woman that aligns with you and marry. I am sure there is a woman that likes you, but you don't want her because she is not boogie. Accept her and start a family.

well said

Ibrahim1985:
I see poor people get married.

I hope you see the pain many of them are facing

Kaczynski:
What's your goal in marriage or you have succumbed to societal pressure??

After a certain age, a man is no longer a baby for him to allow society pressure to decide for him if he should get married or not. Marriage is not for everyone so it is always going to be overrated to some people.

Not that you should not get married as a struggling man, it's not a bad idea at all. The main thing is, when you start making better income, would your wife remain attractive to you? Is that not when you'll suddenly realise that she was never really your spec all along? Women are not scared of building with struggling men, majority are scared of what he would turn to once he becomes richer. These men don't see betrayal of women as a big deal, in fact they applaud it. It's on this same Nairaland that someone said no man owes any woman loyalty regardless what she does for him.

Y'all smoke cesspit and then spew rubbish

In this modern age where a broke woman from a poor background doesn't want to settle for her type, talk more of marrying a struggling guy.

What Nigeria need is to create our own unique retirement and old people's home system to cater for Nigerians when they grow old, so that Nigerians won't be under pressure to marry and to have kids just to have people that will care for them at old age.



These old people's homes of various standard based on people's financial capacity; a room and parlor, self content, shared rooms, etc will be built in every LGA.


Private organizations can partner with government to ensure proper and adequate management and private organizations and religious institutions like Churches, Mosques can also invest to have their own privately owned old people's home and retirement homes just as we have private universities.


This will help change a lot of things in Nigeria, including creating employment opportunities for students, graduates, etc if created

If you'll get married and eventually wait a while to start bearing kids you apparently can't finance. Why not stay single? Why bring additional mouth into penury let alone birthing kids?
Marriage isn't a necessity please.

Those who get married and wait to have kids are trying because why you dey use condom/vasectomy/no sex/abortions on your legally married wife? But before you venture into this type of lane, talk to the woman oh! No go promise heaven and earth whereas your journey go take a minute before you arrive ... Make the woman sabi wetin she wan connect with otherwise the kind nagging wey Delilah nag for Samson to give up his secret go be like child's play. I promise you.

If you get married while struggling, your premium suffering will start when your wife gives birth. Then, you'll separate, and we'll have a bitter single mother roaming the streets shouting all men are scum

Generational poverty is real, people's wife have lost weight under this regime. That gender go frustrate you. One or two children is okay 👍.

Ibrahim1985:
If one keep waiting for naija economy to improve in order to marry, one might wait till they are 60 year old except you have decided that you are not the marrying type or you are planning to JAPA from Nigeria as a single person or you do not see yourself dating a Nigerian, You know yourself, The economy might improve but no one knows when it will to be frankly honest. You can marry now and wait to have children later. You do not have to start having children instantly as soon as you get married. There are a lot of couples who have married and waited to have children or decided not to have children as a decision. Yes your parents or your elders want you and spouse to have children but if you cannot afford a child now, then wait or only have one child if family pressure is too much. You and spouse do not have to 3 to 10 kids if you are struggling. 1 child is enough, you are not Father Abraham, after all , Sarah had only Isaac.

There was this friend of mine that got married during our university days. We all laughed at him then. This guy saw hell then! Today, that child is a graduate and married while that of us that laughed at him, our kids are still in secondary school.
Time waits for no man. Live your life. The most important thing is that you have the potential to succeed. Because it would be far worse to raise kids at your old age!

I totally agree with this post - as far as the spouses are hardworking and industrious, and can control child birthing.