₦airaland Forum

Married people, can a “third voice” quietly affect your marriage?

I want to hear married people's honest opinion on this one.

Sometimes when we talk about problems in marriage, we immediately say things like:

"They've stopped loving each other."

"They are no longer compatible."

"The husband has changed."

"The wife has changed."

But what if sometimes something else has entered the picture?

It could be a friend.

It could be family.

It could be an in-law.

It could be social media.

It could be financial pressure.

It could even be the advice you keep receiving from people who genuinely mean well but don't understand what is happening inside your home.

And before you know it, another voice has started influencing decisions that should belong to the couple and God.

That's the idea behind a short film I just made called “The Third Voice.”

I used Adam and Eve to tell the story because their experience raises a very uncomfortable question about relationships:

What happens when another voice becomes louder than the foundation of the relationship?

And honestly, I think this is something both married people and people preparing for marriage should think about.

I made the video short because I don't want to lecture anybody. I just want to start a conversation.

👇 Watch it here and tell me what you think:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqQssgUeElg

My question to married people here:

What do you think can become the “third voice” in a Nigerian marriage?

Friends?
Family?
In-laws?
Social media?
Money?
Culture?
Or sometimes even the couple themselves?

What is marriage?

Before you answer “two people who love each other,” think about it again.
Because if marriage were simply about love, loving couples would never struggle.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to build one life together, under a shared commitment, through changing seasons, imperfect moments, conflict, growth and everything life brings.
Love brings two people together.

But commitment, understanding, sacrifice, communication and shared values are what help them build together.
And for Christians, that covenant is ultimately lived under God's design.

Father-in-law.....

Wetin Musa eye don see at the gate ehn?

😥

Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

The best voice better be God through his word the bible else na better wahala for the marriage ooo

We love to deceive ourselves.

If not, you should know that two who see themselves everyday should get tired. Temporary distance restores bond.


Couples should frequently stay away from each other.

Many marriages are suffering because of what third parties advised ,but the irony is that the third parties are doing something different in their own marriages or even single .

Na my Bank Account O!

That voice is very strong and influential

If you cant resolve your differences as a couple, you have no business being married. Maturity is knowing you dont always have to win every argument and be quick to apologise and stop bad behaviors.

Avoid people who cant resolve their own issues and always looking for 3rd party intervention like a plague. If you are desperate for a 3rd party input hire a professional. The day you include family and friends you have diminished your value and worth. Dem go use you do cautionary tale and even gist their children laugh you for back. Fastest way to lose your respect and your marriage.

Feminism is the third voice in so many marriages, At on set, there is that respect from wives which husbands craves for but the moment feminist ideas crept into wives, that respect went with the wind.

Mindset is the the force of attraction that pulls love together..
Many minds are porous and unable to process marital challenges...
How we reason and approach issues can Play positive or negative role in our marriages..
The mind can never react on its own,but process the information gotten... from what is seen, Heard, smell.
It is very difficult for a deaf and blind person to get beef with people, what will they react to??
People transfer aggression for some reason that could have been managed, but some people out Burst is unimaginable and questionable.
Control your emotions, learn to listen to your partners side of the story and react with diplomatic approach.

heartmosphere:
What is marriage?

Before you answer “two people who love each other,” think about it again.
Because if marriage were simply about love, loving couples would never struggle.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to build one life together, under a shared commitment, through changing seasons, imperfect moments, conflict, growth and everything life brings.
Love brings two people together.

But commitment, understanding, sacrifice, communication and shared values are what help them build together.
And for Christians, that covenant is ultimately lived under God's design.

Flesh and blood didn't reveal this to you but the Holy Ghost

PlutoChief:
Na my Bank Account O!

That voice is very strong and influential

the strongest voice ever. Every other voice na chaff

A society running on a homogenous belief system will find marriage easier. This is why Redeem find it easier to marry redeem, they believe in the same thing. Mountain of fire marry mountain of fire, Embassy marry embassy, Deeper vs Deeper, Chosen vs Chosen etc., this is because they have similar doctrine. But is this what Jesus Christ said? Jesus did not come to establish any Pentecostal church, he came to tell society that they should uphold the law of God because this is the only thing that can save them.

A society that runs on a similar template, where all the people believe in the same law will autocorrect every anomaly that happens immediately, every deviation from the established protocol will be noticed immediate ly, frozen, and lanced out immediately.

The third voice in every marriage therefore is the doctrine or ideology on which the union is established because for two individuals from different backgrounds to live together, they must have doctrine or software that makes them compatible and interoperable

Only a return to the Law can help us.

Anything aside Jesus is a recipe for disaster because human bias will surely set in.

The husbands I pity the most are the ones that their wife is carrying her pastor on her head like gala.
She constantly reminds the husband that she wish he was spiritually strong like her pastor.

The accuracy
May God continue to sufficient us

PlutoChief:
Na my Bank Account O!

That voice is very strong and influential

Sounds like a lovely, relaxed vibe. for maintaining a good relationship, right?

Innocentvirgin:
We love to deceive ourselves.

If not, you should know that two who see themselves everyday should get tired. Temporary distance restores bond.


Couples should frequently stay away from each other.

which kain talk be dis guy?

The dynamics has changed dramatically.


Gone are the days when it was just a jealous friend or wicked mother inlaw.


For many today:

A. FOR THE LADIES: it is feminist content online influencing the women.


B. FOR THE MEN: It is Red-pill content influencing the men.

I believe everyone involved should be investigated and held accountable, including the victim if he knowingly participated.
From the story, he knew what he signed, accepted the money, and even went to court voluntarily to change his name. His complaint appears to be about how his friend spent the money, not that he was forced to sell his kidney.

If everyone knowingly took part in an illegal act, then everyone involved should face the consequences of their actions.

in most Nigerian marriages, na the wife mama be the real husband, especially if the son inlaw get money well well. they even supervise for the other room

Innocentvirgin:
We love to deceive ourselves.

If not, you should know that two who see themselves everyday should get tired. Temporary distance restores bond.


Couples should frequently stay away from each other.

This only works for couple that have built sexual discipline and faithfulness to each other…

You see all these nonsense you pple call marriage these days where yall sleep with your numerous exes, colleagues and neighbours, frequently staying away from each other will only lead to more adultery ….

They said don't involve third party nau..😀😀😀😀..I heard it clearly..
Abi, I wasn't paying attention on my wedding day?😩😩😩😀😀

For some, the 3rd voice is their parents

For others, na side chick

The 3rd voice in my marriage is God. He reveals a lot to me in my marriage, even deeper things that my wife knows about herself but will never tell me

Naso your daddy in the lord go dey pipe her on the low, nonsense.


Next news please

My children .

Should any sane person allow a third voice in his or her marriage?

chidiokay:
I see people say the 3rd voice is God, thats clichè, how man try couple really know God to connect, you can pray nd but if r/ship no dey between you n God he is quiet to you

In most house, the 3rd voice is that one " friend" the wife turns to for advice

Thank you, some na their mentors wey even still dey struggle to survive im own marriage.

I like the point where you said know God and have that relationship with God.

FutureFocus:
Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

That Joyce of Nigeria info is deceiving gullible women. She used to work at cool FM till she got fired. She is a sad old spinster that will definitely end up alone or with a foolish man.