₦airaland Forum

My wife is easily influenced by outsiders. But guess what? I don't bloody care
I attacks every problem that comes with patience, silence without withdrawing my duty at home. When i notice change of behaviour in her, I allow her with her madness. My in-laws, i mean her parents and siblings are the best inlaws one can ever pray for. They scold her on my behalf whenever she misbehave even though she's the first. I used to warn about friends, she no dey hear word. Na she go still carry matter come my table las las.
A particular best friend of hers came one Sunday afternoon when she was not around, to complain to me that my wife sleeps around. As a man like me wey hear this kin thing, I almost called my wife to start coming home immediately from church. But after a second thought, I say make I wait till she comes back. Now, when she came back I tried and control my actions, then I asked her, woman what about your friend Marbel? It was then she began to narrate all the stories, how Marbel has been gossiping me to her, that she used to see me with different women in the supermarket and bar. That Marbel once advised her to leave me so that two of them can find their way out of the country. Even that they fought yesterday morning over this matter and she has told Marbel stay clear from her. Hmmmmmmmm cold catch me, my ear tangled, my palm start sweating
WHO IS MARBEL:
Marbel is a married woman with 5 kids, her last child should be about a year old then.
WHERE IS MARBEL NOW:
Marbel was involved in an accident last Xmas, she died on the spot. Marbel was an igbo woman, married to an igbo man. What business does Marbel has with travelling to Kogi state? According to stories, they were travelling for an unknown event to Kogi. All were women.
DID MY WIFE LEARN?
Capital NO!

Skydivine:
The husbands I pity the most are the ones that their wife is carry her pastor on her head like gala.
She constantly reminds the husband that she wish he was spiritually strong like her pastor.

Loooooool, you can imagine. They will tell you that you are deceiving yourself once you don't dance to the tune of their pastors. They will call a man presiding in a building in certain days, date and time a MAN of GOD while the MAN carrying out his responsibilities well at home is not a MAN of God 😂🤣😂🤣

heartmosphere:
What is marriage?

Before you answer “two people who love each other,” think about it again.
Because if marriage were simply about love, loving couples would never struggle.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to build one life together, under a shared commitment, through changing seasons, imperfect moments, conflict, growth and everything life brings.
Love brings two people together.

But commitment, understanding, sacrifice, communication and shared values are what help them build together.
And for Christians, that covenant is ultimately lived under God's design.

God bless you for this! 👏

MrPresident1:
A society running on a homogenous belief system will find marriage easier. This isbwhy Redeem find it easier to marry redeem, they believe in the same thing. Mountain ofnfire marry mountain of fire, Embassy marry embassy, Deeper vs Deeper, Chosen vs Chosen etc., this is because that have similar doctrine. But is this what Jesus Christ said? Jesus did not come to establish any Pentecostal church, he came to tell society that they should uphold the law of God because this is the only thing that can save them.

A society that runs on a similar template, where all the people believe in the same law will autocorrect every anomaly that happens immediately, every deviation from the established protocol will be noticed immediate ly, frozen, and lanced out immediately.

The third voice in every marriage is the doctrine or ideology on which the union is established because for two from individuals to live together, they must have doctrine or software that makes them compatible and interoperable

Only a return to the Law can help us.

I don't think this your theory works.....

This isbwhy Redeem find it easier to marry redeem, they believe in the same thing. Mountain ofnfire marry mountain of fire, Embassy marry embassy, Deeper vs Deeper, Chosen vs Chosen etc., this is because that have similar doctrine

The lamentations today in the relationship world is those of marriageable age are finding it difficult to get marriage mate from their own denomination. They complain here and there about it. Is it a case of they don't follow their doctrines or they simply cannot deal despite following their doctrines.

A society that runs on a similar template, where all the people believe in the same law will autocorrect every anomaly that happens immediately, every deviation from the established protocol will be noticed immediate ly, frozen, and lanced out immediately.

This looks like fantasies and going to idealism. We live in a real world those idealistic thinking don't exist.

The third voice in every marriage is the doctrine or ideology on which the union is established because for two from individuals to live together, they must have doctrine or software that makes them compatible and interoperable

Which is a doctrine developed in their interactions before they seal the deal.

FutureFocus:
Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

Loooooool, I see it more as someone not matured enough to filter what Joyce says on radio. People generally are carried away once they love a particular personality on radio. The moment those personality pick a side, they jumped there instantly without using their own brains to think.

In fact sometimes listening to Nigeria info discussions you get to hear most of the time people calling in dancing to the tune of anchor of a particular programme more than setting their own agenda.

The programme becomes interesting when a person calls in and they speak differently then you begin to see others call in to adjust their thinking.

FutureFocus:
Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

Uncle sold of the radio bawo🤣 ..if its not Jbl and i dont think a radio worth that jiji stresss

Best is to avoid a third voice

Flows001:
God bless you for this! 👏

Amen🙏Thanks so much, I really appreciate that.

heartmosphere:
What is marriage?

Before you answer “two people who love each other,” think about it again.
Because if marriage were simply about love, loving couples would never struggle.
Marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman to build one life together, under a shared commitment, through changing seasons, imperfect moments, conflict, growth and everything life brings.
Love brings two people together.

But commitment, understanding, sacrifice, communication and shared values are what help them build together.
And for Christians, that covenant is ultimately lived under God's design.

This is soooo PROFOUND!!!

FitCorper:
Anything aside Jesus is a recipe for disaster because human bias will surely set in.

So all Muslims, all Jews, all hinduist, all atheist and agnostics are all in disastrous marriage or about to have disastrous marriages while all Christians have good marriage mbok

Btruth:
Father-in-law.....

Wetin Musa eye don see at the gate ehn?

😥

That really testifies to how much of a handful difficult in-laws can be. When family members cross boundaries and turn into that third voice in a marriage, it quietly drains the peace right out of the home. Across any culture or background, the real damage happens when a husband or wife feels forced to choose between their partner and their extended family, which quickly breeds quiet resentment and division. The solution starts with the couple making a conscious choice to become a united front, agreeing that outside opinions stop at the door so that major decisions and loyalty always stay between the two people actually building the life together.

FutureFocus:
Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

You made a very valid point about external voices and media. A lot of the advice flying around today is designed for entertainment or individualism, not for building a lasting home. When a couple allows outside ideologies to dictate their values, peace quietly walks out the door.

MVLOX:
The best voice better be God through his word the bible else na better wahala for the marriage ooo

Absolute truth. If God's word and shared conviction aren't the final anchor for the household, every little storm will shake the foundation. That alignment is what keeps a marriage standing.

PlutoChief:
Na my Bank Account O!

That voice is very strong and influential

Financial pressure is one of the loudest third voices a marriage can face. When money gets tight, it takes deep trust and open communication to ensure economic stress doesn't turn partners against each other.

verifiablefacts:
Feminism is the third voice in so many marriages, At on set, there is that respect from wives which husbands craves for but the moment feminist ideas crept into wives, that respect went with the wind.

Shifting cultural narratives and external philosophies can indeed disrupt the mutual respect a home needs. That is why couples have to define their own core values together through God's lens rather than letting society write the script for them.

FutureFocus:
Joyce of Nigeria info
Is that girl even married?

Nigeria info is banned in my house because Joyce wanted to turn my great wife into a bossy wife, we sold off the Radio and normalcy instantly returned .

Society influence and social media norms are the two major influence against marriage today, you can watch but you can’t post suggestive videos of yourself on social media in my house, who are you posting the cleavage video and hip video for on TikTok ?

If you want to be like Joyce, then pack and move in with Joyce, a single unmarried Joyce can not be a good adviser to married women on radio, I prefer Funke Adejumo

I have the best wife

I just looked up the Joyce lady in Nigeria info, I nearly puked..

She worwor no be small, no wonder she never marry and is radically feminist..

That kain worwor fit carry matter go court..

Who is the third voice of






ADAM and EVE in marriage

haybee2018:
This is soooo PROFOUND!!!

Thanks, I am really glad that resonated with you. One quick tip that protects a marriage is keeping your private business strictly between the two of you, because letting outside voices into your disagreements hands them the remote control to your peace. Always team up as a united front.

Exactly, but sometimes women are too emotionally attach to their parents advices.

heartmosphere:
That really testifies to how much of a handful difficult in-laws can be. When family members cross boundaries and turn into that third voice in a marriage, it quietly drains the peace right out of the home. Across any culture or background, the real damage happens when a husband or wife feels forced to choose between their partner and their extended family, which quickly breeds quiet resentment and division. The solution starts with the couple making a conscious choice to become a united front, agreeing that outside opinions stop at the door so that major decisions and loyalty always stay between the two people actually building the life together.

🤔..... Chai! This one thick oooo

Hezmatosky210:
My wife is easily influenced by outsiders. But guess what? I don't bloody care
I attacks every problem that comes with patience, silence without withdrawing my duty at home. When i notice change of behaviour in her, I allow her with her madness. My in-laws, i mean her parents and siblings are the best inlaws one can ever pray for. They scold her on my behalf whenever she misbehave even though she's the first. I used to warn about friends, she no dey hear word. Na she go still carry matter come my table las las.
A particular best friend of hers came one Sunday afternoon when she was not around, to complain to me that my wife sleeps around. As a man like me wey hear this kin thing, I almost called my wife to start coming home immediately from church. But after a second thought, I say make I wait till she comes back. Now, when she came back I tried and control my actions, then I asked her, woman what about your friend Marbel? It was then she began to narrate all the stories, how Marbel has been gossiping me to her, that she used to see me with different women in the supermarket and bar. That Marbel once advised her to leave me so that two of them can find their way out of the country. Even that they fought yesterday morning over this matter and she has told Marbel stay clear from her. Hmmmmmmmm cold catch me, my ear tangled, my palm start sweating
WHO IS MARBEL:
Marbel is a married woman with 5 kids, her last child should be about a year old then.
WHERE IS MARBEL NOW:
Marbel was involved in an accident last Xmas, she died on the spot. Marbel was an igbo woman, married to an igbo man. What business does Marbel has with travelling to Kogi state? According to stories, they were travelling for an unknown event to Kogi. All were women.
DID MY WIFE LEARN?
Capital NO!

dododawa1:
Who is the third voice of






ADAM and EVE in marriage

For Adam and Eve, that third voice was the serpent(Genesis chapter 3, specifically from verses 1 to 6) , showing up with whispers and tricky questions that made them start doubting God's voice. Once they let that outside voice become louder than their bond and source(God), the whole marriage started cracking. It just proves that whenever an outsider gets a seat in your private space, trouble follows.

MY 3RD LEG

God bless you.

My father in law and infact my mother in law too who was playing her interference unger-G were the reason I left their daughter.

Na only God no kill me.

Btruth:
Father-in-law.....

Wetin Musa eye don see at the gate ehn?

😥

Btruth:
Exactly, but sometimes women are too emotionally attach to their parents advices.

It's very true because that emotional umbilical cord in some ladies can be stubborn to cut.

In that case the practical fix na to draw a clear line as the husband "you fit respect your parents' advice as elders, but the final call must stay strictly inside this home".

E still connect straight to Genesis 2:24, where God talk say man go leave him papa and mama and cleave to him wife. Until dem shift that loyalty and carry full chest become one solid team, family go continue to scatter their peace.

Jesu 😮

Oba1ni:
God bless you.

My father in law and infact my mother in law too who was playing her interference unger-G were the reason I left their daughter.

Na only God no kill me.

Dem plenty as hubby dey talk like woman.

Mother in law
Sisters in law
Tenant self dey Chuk mouth

All in all, na thick skin I get. I no mind then at all at all

Na me dey always laff last

Ferdinandu:
So all Muslims, all Jews, all hinduist, all atheist and agnostics are all in disastrous marriage or about to have disastrous marriages while all Christians have good marriage mbok

To be honest, Christians have a better perspective on marriage. The ones who follow their doctrine well have better marriages than the rest.

The third voice: my wife's siblings then the devil

We have pushed out all other voices and left only Gods.

heartmosphere:
Married people, can a “third voice” quietly affect your marriage?

I want to hear married people's honest opinion on this one.

Sometimes when we talk about problems in marriage, we immediately say things like:

"They've stopped loving each other."

"They are no longer compatible."

"The husband has changed."

"The wife has changed."

But what if sometimes something else has entered the picture?

It could be a friend.

It could be family.

It could be an in-law.

It could be social media.

It could be financial pressure.

It could even be the advice you keep receiving from people who genuinely mean well but don't understand what is happening inside your home.

And before you know it, another voice has started influencing decisions that should belong to the couple and God.

That's the idea behind a short film I just made called “The Third Voice.”

I used Adam and Eve to tell the story because their experience raises a very uncomfortable question about relationships:

What happens when another voice becomes louder than the foundation of the relationship?

And honestly, I think this is something both married people and people preparing for marriage should think about.

I made the video short because I don't want to lecture anybody. I just want to start a conversation.

👇 Watch it here and tell me what you think:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqQssgUeElg

My question to married people here:

What do you think can become the “third voice” in a Nigerian marriage?

Friends?
Family?
In-laws?
Social media?
Money?
Culture?
Or sometimes even the couple themselves?

church setting can be another voice to watch for as we have wolves in sheep clothing aka false brethren.
At the end it is what you allow that prevail, don't allow nonsense from any one plus pray for your marriage always...I mean always!!!!

Bearfruit:
church setting can be another voice to watch for as we have wolves in sheep clothing aka false brethren.
At the end it is what you allow that prevail, don't allow nonsense from any one plus pray for your marriage always...I mean always!!!!

😊🤗 Thanks for bearing the fruit just like your name.

That is so true, as even people within church circles can become that destructive third voice through toxic advice.
One fix is to stay discerning and keep your core marriage issues between yourselves and God. Biblically, 1 John 4:1 reminds us to test the spirits because not every voice is aligned with truth, so always anchor your decisions in God's word rather than outside opinions.