At this point, I don't know who needs help. Me or my fiance?

We've been dating for more than 3 years and all through the years, I always have something to complain about, ranging from bleaching, makeup over do, to Lies and shallow reasoning. 
Over the years I've learnt to endure most of her bad attitudes cos I believe I have mine too, but the one I can't put up with is the LIES. It comes easy to her and also seems like the next thing she does whenever she's been asked anything. 

What kept us this far is her unending strength to apologise, she's soo good in saying 'I'm sorry, it'll never happen again' cos she knows I always forgive when she apologises. But she repeats same thing again and again.

Now we are getting close to marriage and I can NEVER marry a lair. Please help, is there anything wrong with her? She can lie for a living.

Do I continue to hope she changes as she always say, or she's just going to remain a serial Liar?

E ma bumi o.

when a wonan lies.....thre is only one solution.
coming soon!!!!

wat do i say now? O.p. Pls advise. *matured comments pls* no insults.

You said it yourself, that you can never marry a liar, so why are you still in the relationship?

@OP : why don't U search for a career that would suit her natural tendencies.

Not that I'm am Expert on this, but I think if can't appreciate and accept her as a Bleacher, make up over doer and a lies teller why on good earth will you go as far as making her your fiancé.

On a second thought, maybe she is sick. She may need a Psychiatric.


Still not an expert.

.

cannonnier:
Not that I'm am Expert on this, but I think if can't appreciate and accept her as a Bleacher, make up over doer and a lies teller why on good earth will you go as far as making her your fiancé.

On a second thought, maybe she is sick. She may need a Psychiatric.


Still not an expert.

she struggled to reduce bleaching and makeup overdo when the complaints were too much, those are physical uno.

I made her my fiance when I thought she had left her lies behind, but to my surprise she only went to reload for worse ones.

I'm beginning to think ints psychological too. thanks tho.

Unique3:
You said it yourself, that you can never marry a liar, so why are you still in the relationship?

I'm just hoping there's a solution, if our relationship is only based on Truth or Lies, I would have discarded hey since.

she stayed with me when I needed her nd I always appreciate her for that, so Lying seem to me as not a good enough reason ex d relationship.
but in the real sense I cant cope anymore.

sheego101:


she struggled to reduce bleaching and makeup overdo when the complaints were too much, those are physical uno.

I made her my fiance when I thought she had left her lies behind, but to my surprise she only went to reload for worse ones.

I'm beginning to think ints psychological too. thanks tho.

Welcome.

Thread carefully. The idea behind marriage is not to cause yourself headeach.
I wouldn't want to see your thread asking about how to keep your wife.

May you overcome.

*

sheego101:


I'm just hoping there's a solution, if our relationship is only based on Truth or Lies, I would have discarded hey since.

she stayed with me when I needed her nd I always appreciate her for that, so Lying seem to me as not a good enough reason ex d relationship.
but in the real sense I cant cope anymore.

Not sure I understand what you mean by your first paragraph, because I should honestly expect that no relationship should have its foundation laid on lies. Trust is key in the sustenance of human relationship. How would you thrive in a courtship, talk more of marriage, where you will always second guess your partner, cos you don't trust her. That, my dear, is a major deal breaker (pun intended).

Again, you say you can't cope with the lies anymore, so why would you expect any sane person to persuade you to the contrary? You alone know yourself, if you can't cope now while still courting, I am positive you will not be able to handle this situation in marriage. Your choice though.

After wasting 3 years of her life you have finally decided to draw up a bucket list trying to justify why you shouldnt marry her. Please apart from the apologising, list out her other good qualities before we can advice you.

God is watching you on HD 3D OLED screen.

Nwoke, I-na gba oso?? Run for your life!! A lying gf will later graduate to a lying wife,

timilehing:
Nwoke, I-na gba oso?? Run for your life!! A lying gf will later graduate to a lying wife,

A lying wife will post graduate to a cheating.

Kirinwa:


A lying wife will post graduate to a cheating.

They don't need to graduate. Both skills complement each other. Apples don't fall far from the tree. The tree is the parent (cheating) and the apples are the children (numerous lies). A pathological liar already cheats.

OP......it may be time to move on and seek happiness elsewhere. Sometimes we may have to use our heads rather than our hearts. Decision is yours

LIARS STEAL TOO,SO she will gradually graduate into a thief and your kids too will one day become robbers via d genes of your lovely wife!so watch out young man!

sheego101:


she struggled to reduce bleaching and makeup overdo when the complaints were too much, those are physical uno.

I made her my fiance when I thought she had left her lies behind, but to my surprise she only went to reload for worse ones.

I'm beginning to think ints psychological too. thanks tho.

@bolded, permit me to laugh

sheego101:

I'm just hoping there's a solution, if our relationship is only based on Truth or Lies, I would have discarded hey since.
she stayed with me when I needed her nd I always appreciate her for that, so Lying seem to me as not a good enough reason ex d relationship.
but in the real sense I cant cope anymore.

She stayed with you when you needed her. You overlooked her faults because she was useful to you, now you have made it and you feel you can't cope anymore, this life sef...smh
I'm not saying you should keep her but you should have let her go a long time ago since the fault's been there from the onset... 3years no be beans...

I really don't know what to tell you because I can't advise someone to marry anyone they ain't comfortable with, with hope the person changes, the person may finally not change and marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment... but you no try, kept her for 3years when she was useful, even engaged her and now you want to dump her..

About bleaching, heavy make ups et al, didn't you see her before you asked her out?? abi she had a hijab or Burqa on??

I think you should get her a counsellor and see how it goes.. Goodluck

Nutase:
After wasting 3 years of her life you have finally decided to draw up a bucket list trying to justify why you shouldnt marry her. Please apart from the apologising, list out her other good qualities before we can advice you.

God is watching you on HD 3D OLED screen.

it's funny how ladies think our time as men dont count.
we are talking about 3 years of my own life too, and as I mentioned above, she's been good to me and I always feel I owe her, which is the main reason I endured her and forgive her easily, but she seem to ride on that advantage.

when a good person lies, you begin to doubt their goodness.

MarvellousGod:
@bolded, permit me to laugh She stayed with you when you needed her. You overlooked her faults because she was useful to you, now you have made it and you feel you can't cope anymore, this life sef...smh
I'm not saying you should keep her but you should have let her go a long time ago since the fault's been there from the onset... 3years no be beans...

I really don't know what to tell you because I can't advise someone to marry anyone they ain't comfortable with, with hope the person changes, the person may finally not change and marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment... but you no try, kept her for 3years when she was useful, even engaged her and now you want to dump her..

About bleaching, heavy make ups et al, didn't you see her before you asked her out?? abi she had a hijab or Burqa on??

I think you should get her a counsellor and see how it goes.. Goodluck

thank you for your contribution, I know this may seem like I kept her when she was useful and now I can't cope anymore, but I want to tell you it isn't. from the very first time I discovered she lies, I wanted to end d relationship. as I stated earlier, we kept on for 3years because she always apologise after lying and promise it wont happen again.

now will you say I'm a bad person for giving her numerous chances? hoping she changes?

about bleaching and others, when I met her she was as dark and I loved it, peer pressure and low self esteem drew her to that, I complained immediately I noticed.

she reduced those, so it gave me hope of changing her lying ways too.

1stCitizen:


They don't need to graduate. Both skills complement each other. Apples don't fall far from the tree. The tree is the parent (cheating) and the apples are the children (numerous lies). A pathological liar already cheats.

OP......it may be time to move on and seek happiness elsewhere. Sometimes we may have to use our heads rather than our hearts. Decision is yours

thank you very much, may God help me decide.

sheego101:


thank you very much, may God help me decide.

Hmmmmm...I lie very well too(for her to be found out that means she's a bad liar), infact I'm a professional but I realised it was not helping and that only the weak and cowards lie..


I talked myself to change because I realised that lies take a lot of energy...I'm a very honest and blunt person today (many dislike me for this)...

You can't change her, Only she can change herself.

For good three years, you couldn't change her from her lying ways, so how then do you think you can do that now? If you know you can keep up with her lies, then stay with her. If not, let her go.

keppyy:



Hmmmmm...I lie very well too(for her to be found out that means she's a bad liar), infact I'm a professional but I realised it was not helping and that only the weak and cowards lie..


I talked myself to change because I realised that lies take a lot of energy...I'm a very honest and blunt person today (many dislike me for this)...

You can't change her, Only she can change herself.

this is exactly what I make her understand, but to no avail. instead she'll lie even about little things that dont matter.

I wouldn't say she's a bad liar, maybe I just know her too well to know when she lies, thats the painful part...I always get to know when she lies.

sheego101:


thank you for your contribution, I know this may seem like I kept her when she was useful and now I can't cope anymore, but I want to tell you it isn't. from the very first time I discovered she lies, I wanted to end d relationship. as I stated earlier, we kept on for 3years because she always apologise after lying and promise it wont happen again.

now will you say I'm a bad person for giving her numerous chances? hoping she changes?

about bleaching and others, when I met her she was as dark and I loved it, peer pressure and low self esteem drew her to that, I complained immediately I noticed.

she reduced those, so it gave me hope of changing her lying ways too.

I understand but you would have let her go months into the relationship when she didn't change...

I really don't know wht to advise you again cos I know I can't put up with a liar too..

Try getting a counsellor as I suggested earlier, it could help. .

The decision is still yours anyway. .. Goodluck

@ op, she will make a good yahoo girl

What you can't cope with in courtship, why drag it into marriage?

Pavore9:
What you can't cope with in courtship, why drag it into marriage?

thats why I'm here to know if there's any possibility of her changing her ways before I proceed.