₦airaland Forum

honeric01:
Walking stick: check
Baby backing machine: check
Breastfeeding machine: check
Baby bathing machine: check
Husband servicing machine: check
Underwear wearing machine: check


Hehehe Chairman of lazy wives president I hail o

carefreewannabe:
When you put the dishes in a dishwasher, you don't see them.

When you have a husband and kids, you will have to turn on the dishwasher every day because it gets full every day, so there will be no piling up of dishes.

No hands can wash dishes and clothes as clean as washing machines and dish washers. And dish washers and washing machines save more water.

Like you said, different strokes ...

free2ryhme:
u trying to Make up post that gets front page.

dabossman:
My dear, it is easy to talk the big macho talk on a faceless forum like Nairaland. I don't judge the actions of human beings through a faceless forum where men can pretend to be women and vice versa. I judge from dealing with real life people. People I see and interact with closely.

Anybody can come here and growl like a lion, when in reality he/she is a pussycat. Some of these guys are not even married, yet they come to brag about what they can or cannot accept from their "spouses". If you are judging based on NL comments then you are on a long thing.

aisha2:
I apologise for what i am about to ask, didnt mean to ever get personal till you did.
Last week you started a thread about wives confronting mistresses, so many disagreed with you but did so respectfully. No one even inferred that you may be cheating hence the topic or even bought your wife into the topic yet you started the topic and it ran for 10 pages or so, all clean and respectful. Why now bring peoples husbands to score whatever points because they dont agree with you?

So many people i ignore but you i actually respect, its needless to say the least.

dabossman:
My dear, it is easy to talk the big macho talk on a faceless forum like Nairaland. I don't judge the actions of human beings through a faceless forum where men can pretend to be women and vice versa. I judge from dealing with real life people. People I see and interact with closely.

Anybody can come here and growl like a lion, when in reality he/she is a pussycat. Some of these guys are not even married, yet they come to brag about what they can or cannot accept from their "spouses". If you are judging based on NL comments then you are on a long thing.

5minsmadness:
Sorry about your aunt. However that is a singular case and you cannot summarise that many who advocate weathering the storms of a marriage are inferring the woman is the only one suffering . you think its only women that suffer in bad marriages? What about men? Have you experienced a really sent from hell stubborn wife? A wife that will give her husband hypertension and heart pains because he just does not know how to control her?

I still think we are veering off the OP's original line of thought vis a vis a good African wife being one who does not require gadgets to lighten her load or one who does no work in the house.

Aitee1:
Blame it on religion!!!

aisha2:
I have noticed that a woman is mostly expected to suffer before she is referred to as a good wife or sweet mother.
The story or picture of a sweet mother is usually one who suffers so much for so long.

One funny thing is that any technological innovation that aims to make womens life easier is strongly resisted and women who use these called lazy.

Funny thing those complaining will always rush technological gadgets like they phones they use to comment. They will use calculator instead of calculating with their brains yet it doesnt make them lazy. They will have the newest cars, instead of bicycles or treking like their likewise hard working fathers and ancestors. They will use clippers instead of razor as used by grandfathers, they will wear all the desinger wriat watches instead of standing under the sun to check time. They will eat processed food and meat unstead of going to farm for food, hunt for it or fish like their own fathers did.
Here are some most resisted technological innovations

1. Yam pounder: lazy women cant pound common yam for 4 people they cant pound. My mother used to pound for all 3 wives and 38 children without getting tired.

Gas cooker: lazy women, what happened to firewood. Our mothers went 10 kilometres to get firewood yet you want me to spend 4 k every month on gas.

Washing machine: how many clothes are you washing self? My mother had 9 kids and handwashed all their ckothes in the stream

Epidural: this is the height of laziness, if my mother can have 10 kids at home on her own why cant you push out 4 by yourself?

Dish washer: why did i marry you? What will you be doing while machine is washing plates for you?

MadCow1:
[b]Just so we get things into perspective. . The Threads title reads thus; Does being a good African wife = Suffering..

The OP used household chores to make her point. I took it a step further to include tolerance of abuse.

I have spoken on spousal abuse from the side of men severally, however this thread is about women.

And for you to think I am basing my point on a single event is totally wrong. I have seen many cases from being raised by a Pastor and even mediated on some cases brought to me by friends. I have one case now of a new mother who feels trapped in her abusive marriage because everyone including her parents and pastor keeps telling her to stay put in the marriage and pray he changes whilst she suffers through constant psychological, emotional and physical abuse. She can't leave because society would label her a bad African woman for not putting up with her obviously bad marriage.

I don't even consider domestic chores to be suffering like the OP even suggests, what I consider suffering is when a woman stays in a union that she is obviously unhappy in just so she can be tagged a good wife.

Our society in general never sees a woman who is divorced as a good woman no matter the reason behind her divorce. I know of a woman who is about 30 years into her marriage who is unhappy and yet keeps telling her daughters to endure the same things that have made her unhappy in her own marriage.

A good African woman in and of itself in terms of domestic chores would be hard to define today as the true African women (our mothers and grand mothers) had to put up with a whole lot more chores the any present day city girl can ever imagine.. Try adding farming, going to the market to sell the produce, rasing large numbers of children (my mum had 5, Grandma had 10 boys), cooking for that large family, keeping the house clean and organised, participating in age group and church meetings and still taking care of their husbands.. If this is the definition of suffer you are thinking of, then no present day city bred/dwelling African woman is suffering.. Infact they are all living the vacation life of the real African women..


[/b]

PocoAPoco57:
Guys guys guys please dont marry any woman with the name or nickname call aisha. Most of them are very lazy, complains a lot and not good in bed. FACT

Shirley07:
You can leave story. Majority of the men on NL are bad news already.

carefreewannabe:
Please, read some of the comments here written by men and you will see that some of them have funny reasons why there should be no washing machines in the household.

The OP did not open the thread to bash men, she has opened the thread based on observations and some men have confirmed that they have the mentality she described.

Nobody is bashing reasonable, good men but there are many funny male creatures here and out there.

craziebone:
ok, if you know in your heart of heart that you don't hate men and don't bash men, then i want you to know with all certainty that my posts are NOT directed at you.

The man has beed an object of ridicule; his pshychology, biology, etc have been an object for aggression which the whole world thinks is legal. This whole aggression is backed up by govts around the world and spearheaded by the media and they think its ok.

Today, the man is taught to feel ashamed of his very being and see his psychology as something that is inherently bad.

aisha2:
My apologies for the previous reference. However, i beg to differ, i am not talking about suffering people i have seen men who will buy the latest gadgets yet hold on to archaic views even when their wives can afford it themselves the women have to do strong head and buy the items themselves and meet strong resistance from their husbands who insist of doing it the local way.

I respect hard work so saying i look on suffering is not what am doing

cococandy:
. You forgot to add teeth brushing and body bathing machines.

that's the way forward. No time for stress when d mind has many more things to worry about.

iyabodeh:
I don't understand.
Since when does having a washing machine while he takes salary advance to get an iphone6 become a problem?

When did having a pounder when he wants a dstv decoder that records uefa leagues became an issue?

This isn't about being lazy. This is about being strategic. You make the soup while the pounder is pounding; time saving things.

You put the laundry in the machine while you are supervising Jekinyo's assignment and at the same time shredding the 'efo tete'; multi tasking.

If a man wants me to pound with mortar, no wahala now. He go dey put the yam as I dey pound. No way is he going to sit his arse in front of the television while I exhaust myself so he can chop poundo. And if I hear, 'he has been working all day' argument, I will scream!! Duh! Who dey jobless na? Even a housewife has the most tasking job sef.

If I don't get a dish washer, he doesn't get an electric shaver. Simple.

It's not femininity, it's just fairness.

Sophyrocks:
Spot on!! I also felt that angle the op was pointing at to depict suffering is not the real suffering. That was why i made my own comment based on other aspects of marriage. You have made wonderful points and you know exactly what im talking about. Not some people here who wanna feign ignorance and pretend as if these things dnt happen simply because the bitter truth has been said.

dabossman:
Er, guys, please do not pick issues over my comment. My aim wasn't to denigrate women, but to point out the fact that we should not generalize. There are many women who are happy in their marriages. Good women who are married to good men. But do these good men get any credit. Usually no. However the bad ones get all the publicity.
Man loves his wife, pfft, big deal. Man maltreats his wife. Hell yeah, let's talk about it.
If we take a poll here from married women and find out that most of them consider their husbands to be good, loving men, then why generalize and say most men will say their wives are lazy for wanting appliances like a washing machine, dish washer, blenders, gas cookers etc. How many married women here still go to fetch firewood for instance?

honeric01:
And what exactly do you women worry about?

How to stop global warming?
How to find cure to cancer, aids and malaria?
How to stop economics from going into recession?
How to understand how the world work?
How to create electricity from animal dumps?

Or you people want more time to gossip about Beyonce's bra, eyelashes?

Kim's rubber assz?

Btw, when are you women going to start inventing these gadgets that help men work less but earn more?

Or gadgets that even help you women spend less time watching tv, reading novels and telling others this and that?

Nashville:
Not sure why you have created this thread. Is this supposed to be another man bashing thread or are you mocking the suffering of Nigerians in general. Do you really feel the average Nigerian family can very easily afford these gadgets.

There are lots of people who can afford to buy these but I'm not sure they are the majority of Nigerians. You need to travel round Nigeria more.

Lastly, a woman can also buy these things herself, afterall women, and men are equally educated these days. So why wait for a man to buy for her?

macof:
A good African wife is one that is submissive to the husband, she should be hardworking but not a working jackass while the husband sits around only waiting for food... of course no good woman should waste her time with a lazy man of no potential
In Yoruba societies we encourage love and unity in a family and this responsibility lies basically on the first woman of the house. The woman also has the children, they learn all they know at childhood from their mother so she should be a wonderful example and show love and discipline

African women don't suffer because of tradition maybe the OP's mother/grandmother married a poor and careless man who put her through hell

Icherishu:
I don't see having these things making a woman lazy. If you can afford it please get it. Like Aisha2 said my grouse is with the men who can afford it but want their wives to do it manually because it makes them domesticated.

I personally I am very lazy when it comes to handwashing clothes. Least things like undies are thrown into a washing machine. My hubby has complained that how can I be so lazy to even wash my briefs but I hate to wash. I can't imagine the days I was working Monday to Saturday, then I will use my Sunday to wash my clothes and my kid clothes.

I personally don't wait for hubby to buy them. Anything that will make life easier for me and I can afford it. I get it for myself. Bought a vacuum cleaner and other things I know I will need. But if hubby couldn't afford other things I won't fight him.

To dish washer n poundo jam machine, I don't even know how it looks like. Cos I have hubby, he helps me to pound and for washing dishes that is my niece n my help best chores. They so loved it. But I guess I still enjoy the manual pounding of the yam.

When it comes to cooking, that is the only thing I spend my time doing. I don't cut anything in the market and I don't get to grind my leaves in the market. I pound them when I get home. My people say I like punishment, but I can't help it. Those things are going into my system, so I must take time to do it myself until I can afford a cook.

For those taking about epileptic power supply, I think the supply has greatly improved and moreover most machines (automatic) pick up on its own after the power is restored. For those using prepaid like me, if you want to count kilo watts you will never use these things. Moreover as for me, I just get to turn off AC or fridge when I need to use them. And even with all these I still don't get to use 11k I was being slammed by PHCN.

So ladies buy all the things that will make life comfortable for you. If your hubby can't afford it and you can please buy it. No one gets paid for doing for doing these things. You can't afford it, get a maid to help.

5minsmadness:
When one thinks of a good African wife, one portrays a hardworking diligent woman. A woman who takes care of her household while the man is out at work. This woman wakes up early in the morning to make sure the kids go to school in time and the meals are prepared for the family as at when due. A woman that does all these is loved and respected by her husband and he will go the extra mile for her to make her happy.


Not so the 'modern' woman. All she wants to do is chat on the internet all day long , shopping for irrelevancies like shoes and handbags when she has a whole closet of them already. She goes to sleep late because she was watching 'telemundo' late into the night and then complains when her husband wakes her up in the morning to tend to the kids while he prepare for work. She can't cook, she can't clean, she can't even wash her own clothes. Such a woman will always demand d for respect because none will be willingly given to her.


There is nothing wrong in using gadgets to help reduce the stress of everyday life. However some of them are just going to make the lazy woman lazier. Personally I hate the yam pounder but then again its the men in my household that pound the yam so that doesn't count. The washing machine is necessary especially when kids come into the picture. The dishwasher is pure rubbish, haba, how many plates are in the sink that you need a machine to wash it for you? You don't need it unless you are running a restaurant. Epidural is dangerous. I have seen three women that have come off with complications to either themselves or the baby afterwards. And it is mega-expensive, avoid it if you can or kukuma do c/s. And as for the gas-cooker, nothing wrong with it if you can afford it.

The funny thing is that lazy wives will still ask for assistance even after the husband provides all these things for her. You hear her saying 'honey, how was work? Pls fill the washing machine for me, its time for gulder ultimate search and you know I don't miss it.'

A good African wife= Respect.
A lazy African wife = suffering.

Ibotex:
Are u sure of this?

Does the bible encourage wife beating?

honeric01:
And what exactly do you women worry about?

How to stop global warming?
How to find cure to cancer, aids and malaria?
How to stop economics from going into recession?
How to understand how the world work?
How to create electricity from animal dumps?

Or you people want more time to gossip about Beyonce's bra, eyelashes?

Kim's rubber assz?

Btw, when are you women going to start inventing these gadgets that help men work less but earn more?

Or gadgets that even help you women spend less time watching tv, reading novels and telling others this and that?

honeric01:
And what exactly do you women worry about?

[s]
How to stop global warming?
How to find cure to cancer, aids and malaria?
How to stop economics from going into recession?
How to understand how the world work?
How to create electricity from animal dumps?[/s]

nope. All we worry about is when Lancôme will release their new more volume mascara.

Btw, when are you women going to start inventing these gadgets that help men work less but earn more?

never

?