₦airaland Forum

strong women and disrespectful women are two different things. a woman can be strong and respectful. Nigerian men especially nairaland men have problems with diferenciating. I guess that's why they bash ladies on here like nobody's business.

naijababe:
I am not a fan of stereotypes, so in general I often avoid people who like to use labels. That particular trait has and I believe will continue to serve me well.

I love black men; in fact I love Nigerian men . When I was shipped to Britain at 18, I knew within a few years that nothing but a cocoa brown of the naija variety would cut it for me . Some of my friends were keen on white men because they wanted biracial kids and they supposedly make better husbands. I was having none of that, it had to be a nucca and a naija nucca for that matter, it didn’t matter if he descended from the east, west, south or sahel. All I wanted was a naija man with his usual special brand of swag and ‘toasting!’ Certain lines are particular to Nigerian men, I have not heard non-naija men use those lines

If I am interviewed today and asked what mould of men I consider Nigerian enough to be married to if I wasn't married to my true Naija hubby of course , my first answer would be King Sango of the old Oyo Empire, he may have been arrogated all sorts of mythical powers but any man who could marry women as strong as Oba, Osun and Oya was no weakling and certainly didn't need to demand respect from his wives. From contemporary times, I can only think of the Late Rev. Oludotun Kuti, husband of Mrs Olufunmilayo Kuti and father of Olikoye, Fela and Beko Kuti. Rev Kuti in particular is ultra-special because he made all his marks in education while his wife Mrs Kuti was all about politics, a mean feat for their times. The other man that comes to mind is Dr Ekpo, the husband of Margaret Ekpo; in fact the history of NCNC as a political party would not be complete if the names of these two women’s were omitted, what Mrs Kuti did in the West, Mrs Ekpo did in the East. Two strong Nigerian men married them and did not stop them from achieving dreams; the fear of their wives stealing their thunder apparently did not come into play.

The history of Babangida’s regime as terrible as it was will not be complete without mentioning Maryam’s mark. She is behind the creation of the ‘Office of the first lady’, maybe someone here can convince me that Babangida simply could not control his wife. We can't possibly have forgotten Stella and Turai so soon; strong women even if their strength was to our detriment. I have heard many oral accounts of the rifts between Awo and Akintola being largely fuelled by their wives, might have been hearsay but mama HID and late Mrs Faderera Akintola were no pushovers even if the office first lady was non existent.

The truth is that Nigerian women have always been strong and independent even if there are good and bad kinds. That some women are all about money is not new, many of our musicians sang about it, I remember the apt descriptions of some women as a kid as being 'Olorunsogo' women, but the men who coined the that term also described their opposites as 'Surulere' women.

Has the world changed so much that some of our men only want ‘yes’ women as wives? So much so that strong women can only be described as rude and disrespectful. I can’t think of anywhere else where Nigerian women in particular are bashed as they are here on NL. Some of these men need to start taking responsibility for their behaviour. You are what you attract after all.

werin b all dis sef?

cutemii:
Are u one of the few true left?

You could say that but incidentally i'm hooked.

destante:
strong women and disrespectful women are two different things. a woman can be strong and respectful. Nigerian men especially nairaland men have problems with diferenciating. I guess that's why they bash ladies on here like nobody's business.

But all I see on NL are disrespectful women, with big mouths. And there's absolutely nothing strong about these women folk, apart from spouting fantasies out of Alice the Wonderland, attaching importance to the most ridiculous things, and saying a lot without actually saying anything.

It's an evolving world where more women are forced by societal demands to rival the man at all front. Being strong is the ability and doggedness to support your man, kids, society and yourself the best you can. But when it become an avenue to wrestle the man just to prove u can, it however become an unfortunate case of living a false life to appeal to societal demands. Every man desire a strong woman in the true sense of it, 'weak men' inclusively, but not one that comes with ego and nasty attitude that shows itself in direct competition or confrontation and not compatibility with the man. However successful a woman becomes, a man in between or somewhere may have played a part, however small. Hope i made some sense.

Theyare busy struggling to make money in order to feed the lazy and insolent women of nowadays.

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thorpido:
You could say that but incidentally i'm hooked.

They travelled to South Africa

cutemii:

It's ok.I'm sure there are still some around.

To be modified later.

SirShymex:
But all I see on NL are disrespectful women, with big mouths. And there's absolutely nothing strong about these women folk, apart from spouting fantasies out of Alice the Wonderland, attaching importance to the most ridiculous things, and saying a lot without actually saying anything.

Why is it okay for the men to be disrespectful and have big mouths but not okay for the women?? When it comes to bad mouth and rubbish a*ss talk on NL, the guys take the lead.

nigerian women re not the best of women, they re very stiff, materialistic, and realy dont love easily, and even if they love they do so with caution, due to the fact that they are dishonest and swindle men's emotions, so they hardly trust any man even the good one's, they now think that their conscience and bad attitiude is the same to any man they meet, you see them say u dont trust any man, while they are the most untrust worthy and pretentious fellows..

There are still strong men who have no fear of their women stealing their thunder, I know some but the truth is that many men of nowadays are nothing to write home about just like their female counterparts.

SirShymex:
@naijababe

Big Sis, but King Sango wasn't a Nigerian, the last time I checked. And I believe he had many wives. So, I guess you wouldn't mind polygyny, no?

Also, in as much as I don't think I've the quintessential Nigerian"swag" and "pick-up lines" you alluded to cos my experience is different. But I think I can relate from a cultural perspective because I see the world through my father and Uncles' eyes. So, is it a case of the dearth of true Nigerian men, or a case of Nigerian women who have moved away from staying true to who they're? And rather than emulate their mothers, who're traditional in their outlook to life, they want to be everything else but that.

Out here for example, I don't know any naija guy who doesn't want a career woman, who's competitive. Also, wouldn't mind supporting her cos it's a thing of pride to have a successful partner/wife. However, most of these pseudo-modern lazy women don't want that. They just want to be belligerent and disrespectful - and a lot of them don't know how to act (it's also evident on this forum esp. this section). And to every action, there's always is an equal and opposite reaction (big ups to Sir Isaac Newton for that). So, perhaps these women are the catalyst for the dearth of that "true Nigerian men" you're looking for.

The world is a dynamic place, and when folks start changing in the way they interact with you - you just have to switch it up, or become a mug. Most guys out there want women who're like their mums, but they're extinct. I guess that's why they also had to switch it up for survival.

cc: 50calibre

Word!! Though the OP makes a few good points, some things she said are contradictory & somewhat myopic.

I don't know much about sango's origin, but I know he's been associated with the god of thunder or something along those lines.

Nigerian men don't want a yes wife or a slave that's a fallacious assumption. These women mentioned by the OP were strong virtuous women who knew their place beside their husband. Their ambition never made them disrespectful nor got in the way of their marital obligations & the men in return, treated them with respect. Who wouldn't?

In those days it was even considered a sacrilege to disrespect your husband. Stella, maryam, turai & all other mentioned were fiercely loyal to their husbands. When Obasanjo was in prison, Stella despite the risks, single-handedly took it upon herself to fight for his freedom.. How many Nigerian women will do that?

The problem is Nigerian women of today, seem to have this misconception that being strong & ambitious means being brash & insolent, that's what they've managed to assimilate from the barrage of western feminist propaganda they've been exposed to.

Nigerian women of today, lack any form of principle or morals, they're easily brainwashed, & suffer from a crushing form of inferiority complex.

No man wants to deal with that.

Some're in prison, in bondage whil odas 're in d graves!

They are all jobless.

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SirShymex:
But all I see on NL are disrespectful women, with big mouths. And there's absolutely nothing strong about these women folk, apart from spouting fantasies out of Alice the Wonderland, attaching importance to the most ridiculous things, and saying a lot without actually saying anything.

Gosh honestly my mind went to you first. All you see on nl are disrespectful women..... Really? shymex really? Puhlease get this ill-conceived view over with already. You need to.

freshdude2:
Good post, that is, until you attempted to sneak this in. We know strong women when we see strong women. Strong no be for mouth. No be person wey shout pass na im strong pass. I grew up around strong women, in th home, school, church, etc. We also grew up seeing rude, disrespectful, cantankerous women and we can tell the difference. Your post seeks to equate strong to disrespectful, sorry, that aint gon fly. We love strong women, how else would we have strong families. Strong women can be rude and disrespectful but those are not requirements of being a strong woman.

Lies. Poo pusher.

MadCow1:
So after drinking that big bottle of shekpe for your DP you dey find true Nigerian men.

my big bro,i need u as my chief campaign manager abeg

BananaBender:
Why is it okay for the men to be disrespectful and have big mouths but not okay for the women?? When it comes to bad mouth and rubbish arse talk on NL, the guys take the lead.

With guys, it's just banter...nothing serious. I actually thought the politics section was a war zone, till I decided to hit this section again, after a year (I used to post here a bit like time ago). The guys just wanna crack jokes, save for a few effeminate white knights, and sagamite the legendary troll (your nemesis). Then you move to the real world, and it's basically the same thing. Most naija women/chics just don't know how to talk/act.

Anyway, let's stay on the topic. Why have today's Nigerian women refused to emulate their mums? If we can find an answer to that, perhaps we'll be able to find all these "true Nigerian men" who have gone ghost.

Edusouls:
nigerian women re not the best of women, they re very stiff, materialistic, and realy dont love easily, and even if they love they do so with caution, due to the fact that they are dishonest and swindle men's emotions, so they hardly trust any man even the good one's, they now think that their conscience and bad attitiude is the same to any man they meet, you see them say u dont trust any man, while they are the most untrust worthy and pretentious fellows..

Freshdude, you see what I am talking about!

@ Sirshymexx, King Sango of Oyo Ile and Tapa is in Nigeria, I am on to you nucca. Who is afraid of polygamy? Certainly not me, I may not like it but I'd choose it over a philandering man.

50calibre:
Word!! Though the OP makes a few good points, some things she said are contradictory & somewhat myopic.
I don't know much about sango's origin, but I know he's been associated with the god of thunder or something along those lines.
Nigerian men don't want a yes wife or a slave that's a fallacious assumption. These women mentioned by the OP were strong virtuous women who knew their place beside their husband. Their ambition never made them disrespectful nor got in the way of their marital obligations & the men in return, treated them with respect. Who wouldn't?
In those days it was even considered a sacrilege to disrespect your husband. Stella, maryam, turai & all other mentioned were fiercely loyal to their husbands. When Obasanjo was in prison, Stella despite the risks, single-handedly took it upon herself to fight for his freedom.. How many Nigerian women will do that?
The problem is Nigerian women of today, seem to have this misconception that being strong & ambitious means being brash & insolent, that's what they've managed to assimilate from the barrage of western feminist propaganda they've been exposed to.
Nigerian women of today, lack any form of principle or morals, they're easily brainwashed, & suffer from a crushing form of inferiority complex.
No man wants to deal with that.

Christ! Where did you meet these women? I really want to know, I need to see for myself

Is polygyny same thing as polygamy?

You will find several true men here. Just don't think that you can say sh!t to them here just because you are on a feminist on a faceless forum.





thread will end as soon as carefreewamnabe gets here. She will be pummeled accordingly.

Shirley07:
Lies. Poo pusher.

Welcome Shirley. How was your day?

generalisation shit ... there is no crap like naija woman or british babe . its all about individual and personality , exposure and orientation.

SirShymex:
With guys, it's just banter...nothing serious. I actually thought the politics section was a war zone, till I decided to hit this section again, after a year (I used to post here a bit like time ago). The guys just wanna crack jokes, save for a few effeminate white knights, and sagamite the legendary troll (your nemesis). Then you move to the real world, and it's basically the same thing. Most naija women/chics just don't know how to talk/act.

Anyway, let's stay on the topic. Why have today's Nigerian women refused to emulate their mums? If we can find an answer to that, perhaps we'll be able to find all these "true Nigerian men" who have gone ghost.

You don't expect a people with a great of deal identity crisis and inferiority complex to hold onto what they once had.It's usually a case of running around looking for self fulfilment that doesn't exist ,But again we men are the problems.
until the ideal society is in place, they will remain confused

men re there, they are under much pressure to deliver for themselves,their families, siblings, parents, friends, and re still expected to marry maintain their wives, provide for their kids, pay for house rent, maintain their cars, and pay other nessaccary bills., they run from nowadays women because these women make the pressure worse on them, by their insatiable wants..lack of good attitiude,nagging, dishonesty, power play with the man, argues a lot,insalts,saucy and mindless talking, these have lead to the early demise of young and old men, look around the death rate of men to women is like 5 is to 1,men re now on the defence, women una strong make una carry go,why look for men, una talk say what a man can do a woman can do better so make una dey do, make we rest, we don try...

SirShymex:
With guys, it's just banter...nothing serious. I actually thought the politics section was a war zone, till I decided to hit this section again, after a year (I used to post here a bit like time ago). The guys just wanna crack jokes, save for a few effeminate white knights, and sagamite the legendary troll . Then you move to the real world, and it's basically the same thing. Most naija women/chics just don't know how to talk/act.

I don't have time for you to irritate me on NL today. When men talk trash, it's just banter but when women do it, it is crass and serious?? Mtcheew, such a stup1d excuse.

If you are around women IRL that don't know how to talk that just reflects poorly on you. #Bye!

ka file poti ka fi on a ro ka

OP.....seems you forgot to mention MAMA PEACE. Against all odds, she still waxes stronger everyday. If only you know the amount of inspiration Mr President derives from that woman.