₦airaland Forum

cosmatika:
Who cares? U re in d minority cos a greater number of ppl like it

cosmatika:
Muhammadu Buhari On BBC HardTalk With
Stephen Sackur
SS: Good day Mr. Buhari, welcome to BBC
HardTalk.
MB: Thanks Stephen **smiles**
SS: Now you have declared to contest again, can
we know your agenda Sir?
MB: To grab power from PDP
SS: I mean, your manifesto Sir?
MB: I said to grab power from PDP
SS: Ok, how can you improve the economy?
MB: I will fight corruption
SS: What are your plans for healthcare and
education?
MB: I will stop corruption
SS: What's your plan for housing and urban
development?
MB: I will kill corruption
SS: How can you fix insecurity, especially Boko
Haram?
MB: I will murder corruption
SS: How can you build roads and upgrade
infrastructure?
MB: I will finish corruption
SS: What are your plans for youths empowerment
and agriculture?
MB: I will destroy corruption
SS: Excuse me Sir, why is your agenda centred on
corruption alone?
MB: It’s because the corruption under Goodluck
Jonathan is unprecedented and I'm the only
person that can end it.
SS: Really and you didn't end it during Abacha's
regime when Nigeria was the most corrupt country
in the world in 1997, second most corrupt country
in 1996 and third in 1998 according Transparency
International Report? You quietly served under that
most corrupt government and nobody heard your
voice about corruption.
MB: **his face changes** I beg your pardon
Stephen. Did you bring me here to insult me? Was
this what we discussed when you invited me?
SS: Mr. Buhari, this is BBC HardTalk - a no-hold
barrel interview session. Pls, can you kindly answer
my question?
MB: I ain't gonna answer you (he tries to speak
like an American but with Fulani accent)
SS: Why Mr. Buhari?
MB: Because I wasn't the president then
SS: Ok, that reminds me. During your illegitimate
regime (1983-85), you jailed the following persons
between 70-100 years jail terms even when some
of them did nothing: Alex Ekweume, Sam Mbakwe,
Ambrose Ali, Emeka Ojukwu, Lateef Jakande, Jim
Nwobodo and Fela etc.
MB: They were corrupt. That was why I jailed
them.
SS: What about Ibrahim Awwal - your personal
friend and the then governor of Niger state?
MB: He was not corrupt
SS: Excuse me Sir. Ibrahim Awwal was arrested at
Heathrow airport right here in London with £14m.
You simply placed him under house arrest for few
weeks; the same way you placed Shehu Shagari
(the then president) under house arrest, but locked
up Alex Ekweme (the VP) in Kirikiri. Why?
MB: Ain't gonna stay here and listen to this
f**king bullshit (still speaking like an American)
SS: Mr. Buhari, it seems you're a tribal bigot
because it's on record that you never jailed corrupt
politicians from your region even when they were
the most corrupt.
----------------------------------
At this point Buhari couldn't bear it anymore. He
got up and grabbed Stephen Sackur on his shirt
collar. Met Police invaded the studio and got him
arrested.
The Police said, do you think here is Nigeria where
you threaten "dogs and baboon" or where you
lament that the "fight against Boko Haram is war
against the north"? This is the United
Kingdom...you'll be jailed for assault!
Buhari stops speaking like an American and
switches to Hausa language: Don Allah kada ku
kurkuku ni. Kamar mayar da ni zuwa Nijeriya. Wani
ya kamata don Allah sa ni El-Rufai wayar o.
(Please do not jail me. Just send me back to
Nigeria. Someone should please get me El-Rufai
phone o) LMAO!

ninovandross:
the lack of like nd shares, says it all abt ur post outright dumb

PapiWata:
The above close-to-home satire is a work of literary genius, in that the reader is laughing so hard at the beautifully rendered imagery, that the raw historical antecedents and consistently hypocritical character of former military tyrant Buhari are highlighted, conveyed and comprehended almost at a subconscious level.

ninovandross:
the lack of like nd shares, says it all abt ur post outright dumb

ninovandross:
the lack of like nd shares, says it all abt ur post outright dumb

egift:
https://m.ak.fbcdn.net/sphotos-d.ak/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/562063_435837186430727_1499356021_n.jpg?oh=e25e06fd780964c2a39160b2a1d243e3&oe=550C22ED&__gda__=1427393380_a46bf98dd101daa2452d88817f46ae56

The Legacy of Jonathan - Stealing Is Not Corruption - Time to sweep it away and rebuild Nigeria.

Mogidi:
@cosmatika
Bros abeg am saving this one, I haven't laughed this hard since Buhari said "kworruption".