₦airaland Forum

Hello poets ... I've never really had the grace to post on this section like I intended... Below is a poem I wrote years back and I'll be glad if reviews, criticisms/analysis are suggested. Enjoy!

The Undertaker’s Burial

He sees the dead cryo-sleep
Their final snooze;
Underwhelm by the inert
Populaces he bids farewell – good,
His Gold-watch tic with the tac of interval;
Oh! Another funeral service waits,
For the soulless man who succour souls.
He forgets the fleeting
Nature of Time;
Death came in as he would unto all men,
To the undertaker, his soul he gashed;
Now the realities are here,
Who will collect his stiff?
For I, am scared of mortality;
The motionless body kills me;
I am aware I will freeze someday,
Till then I say I’ll wait.
But at the moment
The Undertaker’s
Body in the morgue
Is our worry.

Wow nice

vinxce:
Wow nice

Thanks! ... Care to review?


CC
Missymossy
Cuddlemii
Emmypreiz
laykorn
Bamibor
Dre11

Quite an interesting piece...a free verse i suppose
Though a few of the tenses are not very clear viz line 3, I guess 'underwhelm' ciuld better be in the past tense, line 4 too, I suggest 'bid' .
I enjoyed several lines, thanks for posting

Bamibor:
Quite an interesting piece...a free verse i suppose
Though a few of the tenses are not very clear viz line 3, I guess 'underwhelm' ciuld better be in the past tense, line 4 too, I suggest 'bid' .
I enjoyed several lines, thanks for posting

Yeah..., And true... It must have been some error on my part. Funny I have it that way on my PC without noticing. Well noted .