₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
What is SJW?

Whatever that means sha you're part of it too because you only notice when the lady insults first but excuse the guy for 'having history' with the recipient even when she didn't throw the first bomb.

So hello partner in crime.

SJW = social justice warrior.

coogar:
it's ok - she's one of those folks with no netiquette. they ignore the message & go after the messenger.....if i go for the jugular, SJWs like cococandy would say men start the verbal abuse the most on this section.

i found an interesting video for you....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks

Just wow!

The video is quite interesting and this is part of what I've been trying to say.

Though I still don't agree that you should hit her for being only verbally abusive.

coogar:
SJW = social justice warrior.

Perfectly describes you.
You're the voice of NL dudes.

Justice for the men. Yay!

freecocoa:
Just wow!

The video is quite interesting and this is part of what I've been trying to say.

Though I still don't agree that you should hit her for being only verbally abusive.

thank you!
women hit men more but men definitely do more damage. did you hear what that police officer said? he said the man can take the physical abuse so there's no need to arrest the woman but if it was the man abusing her, then he would definitely have arrested him.

he agrees it's a double standard but it's what it is.....

why is it that some people in this forum always seems to know every bad things on every issues,too many fake stories, myuncle,my grandfather brother sister this and that,na only u waka come,are u guys fighting with good things,,I tire o,
@osisi,it will be better to profer solutions to the issue rather than fighting on who should be blamed,,
and to all the internet gangster,God bless our left yanch lol,

coogar:
thank you!
women hit men more but men definitely do more damage. did you hear what that police officer said? he said the man can take the physical abuse so there's no need to arrest the woman but if it was the man abusing her, then he would definitely have arrested him.

he agrees it's a double standard but it's what it is.....

Yea, he said something about growing up with the notion that you shouldn't hit a lady, which is true because many of us grew up hearing the same.

Something needs to be done about it, the focus shouldn't only be on men.

freecocoa:
Yea, he said something about growing up with the notion that you shouldn't hit a lady, which is true because many of us grew up hearing the same.

evolutionary psychology.
women can't hurt men, only men can hurt women. in the same breath, they would argue a man = a woman.

Something needs to be done about it, the focus shouldn't only be on men.

i hope they listen.

cococandy:
Perfectly describes you.
You're the voice of NL dudes.
Justice for the men. Yay!

not true!
you have TV01, pickabeau, freshdude, dinachi, etc.

coogar:
evolutionary psychology.
women can't hurt men, only men can hurt women. in the same breath, they would argue a man = a woman.
i hope they listen.

Nah, real feminists don't think that way.

oloyede252:
why is it that some people in this forum always seems to know every bad things on every issues,too many fake stories, myuncle,my grandfather brother sister this and that,na only u waka come,are u guys fighting with good things,,I tire o,
@osisi,it will be better to profer solutions to the issue rather than fighting on who should be blamed,,
and to all the internet gangster,God bless our left yanch lol,

I believe I do that always,read my posts
We live in a real world with real people
If you look around you,every story you have heard relates to someone you know if you are being sincere
The real life threads of stories and articles on nairaland alone bear me witness
Anyone who is up to 15 years old has heard a neighbor screaming while being beaten or perhaps has witnessed it in their own homes
We have all seen a man beat his wife or girlfriend or seen one after they have been battered
It is quite common
I don't know why it makes folks uncomfortable to talk about the ills in society

Physical abuse is one thing I don't advise a woman to stay in
That is my only solution
Get out before you are killed

freecocoa:
Nah, real feminists don't think that way.

real feminists celebrate when men are abused. didn't you see the woman that was happy seeing another woman beating up a man? she said "you go, girl"

coogar:
real feminists celebrate when men are abused. didn't you see the woman that was happy seeing another woman beating up a man? she said "you go, girl"

That's not true jor and you know it, that girl is just a psycho with lots of baggage.

She was imagining it was one of the men she hates being beaten and was getting a kick outta it.

Many women who rejoice at men suffering(especially in relationships) are usually crazy b1atches and they are always scared of men. Real feminists stand for the truth, irrespective of gender without fear.

freecocoa:
That's not true jor and you know it, that girl is just a psycho with lots of baggage.

She was imagining it was one of the men she hates being beaten and was getting a kick outta it.

Many women who rejoice at men suffering(especially in relationships) are usually crazy b1atches and they are always scared of men. Real feminists stand for the truth, irrespective of gender without fear.

it would surprise you that the percentage of these women is about 80%. real feminists actually believe every heterosexual sex is räpe.

There is something called the Stockholm syndrome whereby the abused even when the opportunity arises to leave their abuser does not take it as that is the life they are used to.At this stage the abused's self esteem is so shattered that they actually believe they can't live without this person who is so horrible to them.

While I agree that every woman(to me sef every human adult) should not be TOTALLy financially dependent on another human being all this' stay at home mums'(Efemenaxy like you i hate that term houswife so working wives are outside wives abi )are more likely to be abused' I see on NL is just a rather simplistic one sided way to encourage women to have an income.An abusive partner is an abusive partner regardless of whether or not you earn money.Like Efe highlighted some women decide to stay home for a wide variety of reasons (like I did) and its annoying the way people talk down on SAHMs on NL. There are women who earn an income or are even the breadwinners and are in abusive relationships. Titi Arowolo(who everyone likes to refrence on NL) was even the breadwinner before her crazy husband stabbed her to death .

The sociopathic tendecies one should look out for(which have been highlighted on this thread) in a future partner seems more like a right step in the right direction in warning people to not even getting entangled in such relationships in the first place.

Lagos state now has a domestic violence legislation which I think needs to be adopted at a federal level . More NGOs and charities should offer more education and help to those in already volatile situations (which I know they are actually doing).Like I said the Nigeria I grew up in did not see a man beating his wife as a good thing, it might not have been seen as a crime like it is the west but it certainly was not something to be proud of.

Then again its such a complex issue because even in western climes where there is support (I even know someone who was relocated to an outside borough because she feared for her life)no ostracism for single mums, some sort of govt welfare which means she and her children won't starve etc ; you still find women (and men) staying in abusive relationships.I cant fathom it because I believe self preservation is an innate human reaction but again like I said it's very easy to judge or feel differently looking in from the outside.Even my mother had to exert energy to smack me as a child Not to talk of one man now turning me into punching bag as an adult.Haa that one me I can't stand, I have a very low pain threshold.

Another sad scary dimension for me these days is even young girls not even married being abused and even se.xually exploited by gangs and se.x trafficking rings and recruited by 'boyfriends' they feel they 'love'.

It tells me we have ALOT of work to do in raising the next generation have a healthy dose of self esteem and know what constitutes a healthy relationship.

Efemenaxy how are you and family? Hope you have made up your mind now on lil princess?

coogar:
it would surprise you that the percentage of these women is about 80%. real feminists actually believe every heterosexual sex is räpe.

Those are radical feminists jor, they are just a bunch of men-hating crazies, that isn't the original idea of the movement.

freecocoa:
Those are radical feminists jor, they are just a bunch of men-hating crazies, that isn't the original idea of the movement.

but the radical feminists are the ones who mostly patrol this section - bunch of men-hating rëtards!

coogar:
but the radical feminists are the ones who mostly patrol this section - bunch of men-hating rëtards!

Now we agree.

Nne m! Its very sad d level ppl take jokes. U knw? Dis is a public forum. Tinx shldnt just slide. Someone else wld misconstrue dat guys every comment. Just like I did

freecocoa:
Ha! Nne biko e never reach that level.

Definitely he did! U shldnt encourage dat line of reasonining. U always seem to claim dat women getting abused is justified cos we ferment such with out mouth. Its sad when u say such is justified! Very sad! Am a typical nigerian, who is against any abuse of any kind. So don't promote such here whr ppl with low IQ wld construe wat u av said as being obtainable.

coogar:
you are a typical nigerian woman. you hate hearing the truth. you find the truth bitter, the truth hurts you. unfortunately for you, God made me in His own image.

EfemenaXY:
You're going overboard here and your judgement is getting clouded.

Are you implying that all housewives stay-at-home mums are subjected to abuse and domestic violence from their husbands? You think earning an income is a deterrent to a naturally abusive man?

There are millions of women out there who chose to sacrifice / put their careers on hold to look after their little ones till they are at least of school age and are able to talk and look after themselves. The decision (especially if it was the woman's) to bring up her kids for those very crucial years of their child's life isn't taken lightly, and I don't think it's your place to look down / undermine their efforts.

Additionally, for every sad tale of DV metted out to your "housewife", there are countless other examples of homes where the man not only provides for his family (i.e: wife and kids) but also appreciates her efforts and accords her that respect as he understands fully well the sacrifices being made for the betterment of the family as a whole.

Sorry I shouldn't have used the word 'crime' but u should recognize sacarsm when u see one na.
However in line with what I was saying earlier, the bitter truth remains that it's less likely for a penniless woman (I mean with no with no source of income) to leave an abusive marriage.

Now it doesn't mean that all SAHMs are abused neither does it mean that all working moms are not abused.
But my point is that abusive men most times feel threatened by wifey's income. They even insist that the woman must not work so they can depend on them for everything.
Yes working moms even have more to deal with in an abusive home cos the guy is threatened by the fact they don't depend on him for everything. Why r u home late? Who dropped u off? Are u sure the person on phone is a client? Etc. While on the other hand a SAHM(depending on her situation) may be more submissive not necessarily because she wants to but because she may not have a choice. If mom or dad is sick n everyone including wifey depends on the abusive man, how can she leave such marriage.

U talked about raising kids and stuff, that's a great point but being a SAHM shouldn't stop one from having an income. Naija ladies may be at a disadvantage here but in the western countries, there are a thousand and one jobs u can do in the comfort of your home.
U're talking about raising more balanced kids right? Great. Let's assume everything is going smoothly now, what becomes of the woman n those same kids if anything happens to the man's income?(anyway that's a topic for another day, let me not derail this thread)
I for one cannot advise any woman I know to stay at home with no income of her own(even if the man is the president of the federal republic of Nigeria

I don't advocate divorce but there are times in an abusive marriage when it's absolute necessary for the couple to have a temporary seperation. But the woman may not be able to afford it:
'u know the kids school fees is due', 'mom is supposed to visit the doctor next week and she needs money, rent is expensive, etc
Even the man himself knows that it's only a matter of time before they come n start begging him for her to return.
Now if the woman has the ability to take care of herself but chose to stay and be abused, that's not the people I'm speaking for this time. So I believe it would be nice for everyone to have that financial independence so we can different those who would have moved on and those who chose to stay

Again sorry u misunderstood my earlier post.
Of course I know that Being a SAHM is not easy AT ALL. I for one don't think I have the grace to do their job. It's a lot of work and it's sad some husbands take this great sacrifice for granted

babyosisi:
I don't think she meant it that way at all.
She is saying that it is much harder to leave when you depend on the man solely for sustenance and for that reason every woman ought to have a means to earn money.
Just from the stories on nairaland alone,many of the women enduring physical and sexual abuse stay because they have no income or very little income to take care of themselves.
Financial control is a weapon for abusers

That's all I was trying to say
Thanks much much for this

crackhaus:
Ahhh hello MILF, I'm just seeing this - long time no talk. . . I hoped you've started working on that your fat belly, you know I'm still interested right?

Thanks for the nod and mention BTW, I humbly accept this award on behalf of myself today and for every other day I will have to tongue-lash one of the many skanks and sadducees on this section should they cross me.

Cheers bebe!

You want to dash me your fat belly atink. God forbid bad thing.

You berry start working on it before the small dingle wey remain go hide under am and the 80Ib scrotum takes the whole space

Thinking of tongue lashing people dey give you ecstasy atink.

Am sure as you are reading this sef the ."thing" Don elongate to 3inches

Alatama!

Some good statistics from the USA,will be same if not worse in Nigeria

[size=18pt]At Least A Third Of All Women Murdered In The U.S. Are Killed By Male Partners
[/size]

Think about that
A third of all women murdered in the USA are murdered by men who claimed to love them

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/09/men-killing-women-domesti_n_5927140.html

Now to Nigeria



Between half and two thirds of Nigerian women are subject to domestic violence in their homes. Domestic violence affects all social groups and can consist of physical, sexual and psychological abuse. Although men can also be affected by domestic violence, women suffer disproportionately.

This trend occurs across much of the world, but Nigeria’s discriminatory laws and dismissive police compound its particularly high rates of domestic violence. Most potently, its prevalent culture of silence and stigma for the victims of domestic violence hinders public acknowledgement of the problem. There exists an urgent need to challenge the social prejudices and institutional structures in order to protect its women, not just from danger, but also from ridicule, fear and isolation.

Stephane Mikala, Deputy Director of Amnesty International’s Africa program, said:

"On a daily basis, Nigerian women are beaten, raped and even murdered by members of their family for supposed transgressions, which can range from not having meals ready on time to visiting family members without their husband’s permission," adding that "husbands, partners and fathers are responsible for most of the violence".

http://thinkafricapress.com/nigeria/domestic-violence-problem-pervading

Since it looks like many men on nairaland are uncomfortable about this subject and would employ all sorts of juvenile tactics to keep the subject off the radar,this is just the beginning.
[size=18pt]Get ready boys[/size]

babyosisi:
I believe I do that always,read my posts
We live in a real world with real people
If you look around you,every story you have heard relates to someone you know if you are being sincere
The real life threads of stories and articles on nairaland alone bear me witness
Anyone who is up to 15 years old has heard a neighbor screaming while being beaten or perhaps has witnessed it in their own homes
We have all seen a man beat his wife or girlfriend or seen one after they have been battered
It is quite common
I don't know why it makes folks uncomfortable to talk about the ills in society

Physical abuse is one thing I don't advise a woman to stay in
That is my only solution
Get out before you are killed

yes I have heard about domestic violence but it is not as prevalent as your putting it,
there are many fake stories and articles on nairaland yours inclusive,and yes its without a doubt that domestic violence is social problem confronting our society but not as common as some years ago,most women now know their right,from your statistic was the research done by Nigerians? OK I'm sure you still believe mongo park found river Niger.
nevertheless let your solutions take top priority in you articles not blames,
It makes some folk uncomfortable because your approach is always about blames, physical abuse,emotional abuse,verbal abuse are all abuse under domestic abuse,none is good tho,but physical abuse lead the park,
so stop the blame game and go and sin no more,