₦airaland Forum

She Said White Wedding In Her Church Or Nothing by koife(m): 4:41pm
I met this young Lady some years ago, fell in love with her and finally proposed last year. I decided to make neccesary findings so as to get the whole deal through, but hit a serious brick wall. She said that the tradition in her church and family is that the man does the wedding in her church or nothing ...her mother isn't helping issues. My dad is a Bishop in a church that doesn't believe in white wedding talk less of going to another church to do it. I had a chitchat with him and he declared to me in confidence that I am the man and I should be the shot caller. The downside is that if I dare try it, my dad will be excommunicated. Having seen the danger that lies ahead I confided in my father that we can take the so call white wedding to a neutral place outside the walls of her church so not to give my church the reason to lynch my dad. I disscued this with her but she and most esp her mom aren't giving my proposal a thought. First her mother has nothing to loose been that the proximity will be such that her friends and colleague will still turn in their numbers..since her reasons in the first place was because she wanted a good attendance esp from people within her church circle and that she has been attending peoples wedding and they all are waiting for her daughters and that I can't afford to dash her own chance of inviting people.I find this very selfish....considering the fact that she hasn't given thought about my faith and what will happen to my dad...hence my proposal for a neutral place. I am very confused as I write and really want some good advise here.....
Pls I beg you, it a thing of the heart...
Kindly ignore if you don't have any reasonable contribution
Tnx

Ok

This is not supposed to be here in politics section na. Anyway, same thing happened to a friend of mine. When he had had enough, He called off the ceremony. That was when the bride realized that she was getting married to my friend n not to her rich aunt who had been calling the shots until my friend got fed up. The bobo say him no want again. Till today. If u both can not agree on the venue of ur wedding, then I fear for ur marriage. I always advise, in the event of an authority clash , the lesser authority must submit to the greater authority.

Its not looking good,I. Understand usually that white weddings are done in the brides church,at least that's the commonly held view,however I do not understand why compromises cannot be made for you due to your precarious situation,its smacks of selfishness,I do not understand why too much attention and finess is put on wedding ceremonies which last for hours ,instead of we focussing on marriage which last fo a life time...you have to talk sense into your fiance,I belive God will help you!!!

White or Red wedding, long lasting marriage is key.

Jackeeh:
This is not supposed to be here in politics section na. Anyway, same thing happened to a friend of mine. When he had had enough, He called off the ceremony. That was when the bride realized that she was getting married to my friend n not to her rich aunt who had been calling the shots until my friend got fed up. The bobo say him no want again. Till today. If u both can not agree on the venue of ur wedding, then I fear for ur marriage. I always advise, in the event of an authority clash , the lesser authority must submit to the greater authority.

Thnx sir....quite expository

babyfaceafrica:
Its not looking good,I. Understand usually that white weddings are done in the brides church,at least that's the commonly held view,however I do not understand why compruses cannot be made for you due to your precarious situation,its smacks of selfishness,I do not understand why too much attention and finess is put on wedding ceremonies which last fo hours ,instead of we focussing od marriage which last fo a life time...you have to talk sense into your fiancee,I belive God will help you!!!

Thnx Hun....pls trust me...any more of these i will call it off intinituum and she will go telling people how men are bad!

koife:
She Said White Wedding In Her Church Or Nothing by koife(m): 4:41pm
I met this young Lady some years ago, fell in love with her and finally proposed last year. I decided to make neccesary findings so as to get the whole deal through, but hit a serious brick wall. She said that the tradition in her church and family is that the man does the wedding in her church or nothing ...her mother isn't helping issues. My dad is a Bishop in a church that doesn't believe in white wedding talk less of going to another church to do it. I had a chitchat with him and he declared to me in confidence that I am the man and I should be the shot caller. The downside is that if I dare try it, my dad will be excommunicated. Having seen the danger that lies ahead I confided in my father that we can take the so call white wedding to a neutral place outside the walls of her church so not to give my church the reason to lynch my dad. I disscued this with her but she and most esp her mom aren't giving my proposal a thought. First her mother has nothing to loose been that the proximity will be such that her friends and colleague will still turn in their numbers..since her reasons in the first place was because she wanted a good attendance esp from people within her church circle and that she has been attending peoples wedding and they all are waiting for her daughters and that I can't afford to dash her own chance of inviting people.I find this very selfish....considering the fact that she hasn't given thought about my faith and what will happen to my dad...hence my proposal for a neutral place. I am very confused as I write and really want some good advise here.....
Pls I beg you, it a thing of the heart...
Kindly ignore if you don't have any reasonable contribution
Tnx

what church do u and ur fiancé attend?

sleekman:
what church do u and ur fiancé attend?

she ecwa...me coc

koife:
she ecwa...me coc

what is COC?

sleekman:
what is COC?

Church of christ

koife:
she ecwa...me coc

What church is COC.?

And by the way, i wont have problems if my fiancee want our wedding in her church iwill be cool with it-knowing that after that she will move to my church.

I wonder the kind of church you attend that will lead to your dad been excumunicated, i fear such churchs and question thier authenticity.

As far she is an Ecwa girl and prolly a Mid Beltan, westerner or a Northerner.?
Bro forget, its either her church or nowhere look at it from the point of view that her mum.
Last shot tell your dad to leave that church---

imagin cux a marriage will be held out of there doctrine which he didnt officiat will lead to his dismisal.
Thats not a true Christian church.

Abeg no forget what is the name of the church COC

koife:
Church of christ

sleekman:
what is COC?

most marriage planning requires a lot of politics. U should lookout for key actors in this script u'll maneuver to ur camp. The important thing is how she responds to you because this can actually tell u what to expect when ure married. Is she being tactical or obstinate? If d latter then I'm afraid that woman's not meant for u. If she's being tactical, then u need to go political. Some private vists with d key actors and some very informal meeting btw family heads as well as a senior church representative from a neutral church they both respect.

sleekman:
most marriage planning requires a lot of politics. U should lookout for key actors in this script u'll maneuver to ur camp. The important thing is how she responds to you because this can actually tell u what to expect when ure married. Is she being tactical or obstinate? If d latter then I'm afraid that woman's not meant for u. If she's being tactical, then u need to go political. Some private vists with d key actors and some very informal meeting btw family heads as well as a senior church representative from a neutral church they both respect.

Well, her father is late and her mom had single handedly provided for them since her childhood. The father ppl had neglected them for close to 20yrs now. Her mom is not close to any of her kings men. I'd like to navigate tru that axis but there is just no Lee way. So that leaves the mom the only prime persons to deal with...she herself despises her late hubby pipo
Tnx ol d same

there are no bishops in church of Christ just preachers and elders..though I understand the part that church of Christ do not celebrate white weddings because they believe in superiority of the court.. a friend of mine from that church had to first convert the lady he eventually married to a member of the church of Christ or brethren as you people call it..have you forgotten that it is taught in your church that it is better to marry someone that you have same doctrine, indirectly saying you should marry from your church.

toludadon:
there are no bishops in church of Christ just preachers and elders..though I understand the part that church of Christ do not celebrate white weddings because they believe in superiority of the court.. a friend of mine from that church had to first convert the lady he eventually married to a member of the church of Christ or brethren as you people call it..have you forgotten that it is taught in your church that it is better to marry someone that you have same doctrine, indirectly saying you should marry from your church.

Bishop and elders are used interchangeably.....OK...it not quite saying that, what we believe is that you shouldn't stray..like go under another gathering as a church on marriage grounds...its seen as spiritual adultery and more so a practice that Is not supported scripturally. One may have a soft landing if you do it on a neutral place....as a celebration and not wedding coz tm is the biblical standard...marriage is wedding and wedding is marriage. My point is I want to save my dad the embarrassment!

koife:
Well, her father is late and her mom have single handedly provided for them since her childhood. The father ppl had neglected them for close to 20yrs now. Her mom is not close to any of her kings men. I'd like to navigate tru that axis but there is just no Lee way. So that leaves the mom the only prime persons to deal with...she herself despises her late hubby pipo
Tnx ol d same

then hold 3 possible meetings with her mum. 1st one should centre on getting to relate with her. Knowing how she has fared thus far. Ask questions as regards help they got. Maybe d church helped, perhaps key individuals helped from the church. Perhaps a family member who is a member of the church is a key factor. Perhaps very strict church doctrine on marriage. If her mum is d obstinate factor then meet again with her and daughter and plead with her mum. If she's not forth coming then allow sometime and meet with her using carrot and stick. This will make them realize in the future u own ur home and outside interference isn't welcome.

koife:
Bishop and elders are used interchangeably.....OK...it not quite saying that, what we believe is that you shouldn't stray..like go under another gathering as a church on marriage grounds...its seen as spiritual adultery and more so a practice that Is not supported scripturally. One may have a soft landing if you do it on a neutral place....as a celebration and not wedding coz tm is the biblical standard...marriage is wedding and wedding is marriage. My point is I want to save my dad the embarrassment!

are you forgetting the no dancing part of your doctrine? pls save yourself the embarrassment by talking sense into her and in turn she'll transmit same to her mum..church of Christ's doctrine can't be combine with other church's own

Bro, you call the shots. If you allow it now the truth remains that it's only what they say when you are married stands. Your wife to be if she can't stand by you now, is it when you get married that she will? My advice is this, just put the marriage stuff on hold for now, let them realize that you are not desperate. Had almost same issue when I wanted to marry but wisdom prevailed. Na them go begin look for you.