If only we can all learn to tell ourselves the truth, especially the acclaimed feminist and desist from creating unnecessary tensions in our homes in the name of being women and weaker vessels who should be treated like queens even while acting trashy

Hello mamas and papas, I am a die hard fan of this
forum and i don't think this experience Nd lesson
should pass me by without sharing with you. Please
do read and learn.
I have read tens of stories on mamalette of women
being violated and treated as trash. As much as that
is true and evident to occur in many relationships of
nowadays I find some one sided and a little against
the truth and of men. I am a feminist and would be
against any man beating his wife, girl friend, finance
or even a stranger. Its disgusting and inhumane. But
have we all thought of the men who under no
circumstances beat a woman of any kind but end up
doing so?
My story is one we should learn from. I am not
condemning the stories being told but I would share
mine with you. My husband is a very loving man, he
is respectful and very caring. He's not rich and I am a
little ok than him but I am appreciate him like that. If
only my identity can be shown ( but don't please) I
bet a couple of people would testify to the fact that
I'm not a bad woman myself, I have alot of respect
and I'm loving too. But I am very temperamental. I
have known this for a while and wish there was a
psychologist to help. I have bipolar too but until now
I used to think the people around me are the ones
who need to understand my situation rather than me
adjust.
My husband has put up with so many of my bad
mouthing and unnecessary anger issues and we pray
together but this faithful day last month , the devil
visited our home and we let it in... We had an
argument which is so stupid if you ask me but I got
really angered by husband's silence. ( he's very good
at ignoring or being moody) I started talking and
ranting and said all the wrong things. In fact, I was do
mad I called him a bastard ( he said I said all this and
recorded a few secs before he also got mad).
I just zoomed to the part he started beating me. So
bad I had marks and at a point I couldn't take it
anymore.
I actually slapped him first, and pushed him towards
the door he bit his tongue he started bleeding from
his mouth, I guess that's when he raised his hands
too. After few hours, we both calmed down. Our
parents intervened and till now nobody cant relate
with the story because its very stupid. My husband is
no longer comfortable with me in the house and I
cant seem to get over that day.
We woke up one night to analyze what happened; he
told his part, I told mine. We prayed n I know it will
never happen again because I have learnt the hard
way to control my anger n he is not a wife beater.
The reason for my story is; sometimes we have the
best partner but we push them to being who they are
not. We tell one sided stories and follow suit on
advice based on our part and when the marriage
fails, we blame it on others. I am not applauding my
husband for his act but I'm saying it could have
ended in a different way if I had watched my act.
Women especially, lets learn to respect our husbands
sincerely. Lets love them and pet them, yes they are
bound to overdo things but don't let the devil use you
as a weapon to yourself.
In as much some may condemn me, I have found my
peace in knowing myself and learning. I hope along
the line of condemning or advising, you pick a word
or two that speaks to you.
You all should join us in praying so our marriage can
work and we can have kids soon. Thanks

gotten from a family-inclined page on Facebook.

I know some women's mouth can push their otherwise gentle husband's to do the unthinkable. But, as she said, it's still no excuse to beat up your wife. Just leave quietly while she rants.

angieberry:
I know some women's mouth can push their otherwise gentle husband's to do the unthinkable. But, as she said, it's still no excuse to beat up your wife. Just leave quietly while she rants.

In other words it's okay for a woman to rant

why should the man be the one to accommodate such behaviour

angieberry:
I know some women's mouth can push their otherwise gentle husband's to do the unthinkable. But, as she said, it's still no excuse to beat up your wife. Just leave quietly while she rants.

angieberry:
I know some women's mouth can push their otherwise gentle husband's to do the unthinkable. But, as she said, it's still no excuse to beat up your wife. Just leave quietly while she rants.

Well I don't care anymore about the op and his topic, I just wanted 2 say U look cute! If U wan form na U sabi! I don yarn my own!

mcdokwe:
If only we can all learn to tell ourselves the truth, especially the acclaimed feminist and desist from creating unnecessary tensions in our homes in the name of being women and weaker vessels who should be treated like queens even while acting trashy gotten from a family-inclined page on Facebook.

Was wondering the feminism angle till I saw the writer was feminist.

Luckily This is coming before the break of the marriage and hopefully, their marriage will grow stronger.

Good one.

bukatyne:


Was wondering the feminism angle till I saw the writer was feminist.

Luckily This is coming before the break of the marriage and hopefully, their marriage will grow stronger.

Good one.

You agreed with this?

5minsmadness:


You agreed with this?

With What?

That she deserved the beating since she slapped first?

You obviously don't know What I stand for

I have fought only once my life physically. I retaliated When my cousin older than me with about 5yrs slapped me.

I very much regret it though.

Now, I would rather hold your hand.

onwards:


In other words it's okay for a woman to rant

why should the man be the one to accommodate such behaviour

becos he's a Man womn are knw to talk anyhow @ times but men are de quiet thinkers am no feminist but I will nevr support a man hitting his wife. God. Forbid

I never said or implied that it was okay for a woman to rant. I only opined that the man should just walk away whenever his wife gets insultive.

onwards:


In other words it's okay for a woman to rant

why should the man be the one to accommodate such behaviour

angieberry:
I never said or implied that it was okay for a woman to rant. I only opined that the man should just walk away whenever his wife gets insultive.

Ma'am, I think you are trying to euphemise the whole issue, if you think her ranting is wrong then its wrong , no two ways or in between about it, you say its not ok for her to rant but by telling the man to walk away is like telling him to try and condone her misbehaviour or do you think him walking away all the time would make her stop ranting?

So what do you suggest he'll do? Beat her black and blue to keep her tongue in check?

Fkforyou:

Ma'am, I think you are trying to euphemise the whole issue, if you think her ranting is wrong then its wrong , no two ways or in between about it, you say its not ok for her to rant but by telling the man to walk away is like telling him to try and condone her misbehaviour or do you think him walking away all the time would make her stop ranting?

Fkforyou:

Ma'am, I think you are trying to euphemise the whole issue, if you think her ranting is wrong then its wrong , no two ways or in between about it, you say its not ok for her to rant but by telling the man to walk away is like telling him to try and condone her misbehaviour or do you think him walking away all the time would make her stop ranting?

So hitting her will stop her from ranting?

ireneidiva:

So hitting her will stop her from ranting?

maybe no but she needs to realize the damage she's causing and stop already

Fkforyou:

Ma'am, I think you are trying to euphemise the whole issue, if you think her ranting is wrong then its wrong , no two ways or in between about it, you say its not ok for her to rant but by telling the man to walk away is like telling him to try and condone her misbehaviour or do you think him walking away all the time would make her stop ranting?

what you are saying is two wrongs make a right. jokes

Sometimes you also need to ask what makes her rant. Some cases its him cheating or abusing their money. No one just rants for no reason, there is no fire without smoke in most cases.

I do agree its not right to be abusive towards you spouse, always try to communicate your concerns while you are calm.

angieberry:
So what do you suggest he'll do? Beat her black and blue to keep her tongue in check?

ireneidiva:

So hitting her will stop her from ranting?

the both of you are dull and that's the reason some men beat some sense into their wives.

If you've never been shown the consequence of your actions, you'll never know to stop the act.

To you mugus, ranting is ok but stopping the rant with a slap is evil.

Quote me and die young

Firstly, I'm not dull.
Secondly, did you read my post from the start? I never mentioned that ranting was okay. Besides, I was having an argument with someone else until you poked your rude nose
Please get basic understanding skills and read my post from the top
Lastly, I quoted you and I can assure you that I'll outlive you by years!

juicee1:
the both of you are dull and that's the reason some men beat some sense into their wives.

If you've never been shown the consequence of your actions, you'll never know to stop the act.

To you mugus, ranting is ok but stopping the rant with a slap is evil.

Quote me and die young

She deserved what she got, she threw the first punch. I don't see what this story has to do with women being abused everyday, verbal abuse can never be reason enough to batter a woman, especially as the man will also say things in the heat of the moment.

That woman is no feminist btw.

freecocoa:
She deserved what she got, she threw the first punch. I don't see what this story has to do with women being abused everyday, physical abuse can never be reason enough to batter a woman, especially as the man will also say things in the heat of the moment.

That woman is no feminist btw.

Why do you say she is not a feminist?

ireneidiva:

So hitting her will stop her from ranting?

Most probably, yes. It will make her think twice at the very least.

mcdokwe:
maybe no but she needs to realize the damage she's causing and stop already

Maybe no or maybe yes. Some women are beaten for no reason at all. Those women deserve to be pitied. But the truth has to be told that some women provoke thier husbands to beat them. By the time they receive a pounding or two they will tone down on thier verbal abuse.
Brutal and wrong, yes. But very effective.

TooNoisy:


Why do you say she is not a feminist?

She can't be, not with all the bible quotations, christianity doesn't support feminism.

5minsmadness:

Maybe no or maybe yes. Some women are beaten for no reason at all. Those women deserve to be pitied. But the truth has to be told that some women provoke thier husbands to beat them. By the time they receive a pounding or two they will tone down on thier verbal abuse.
Brutal and wrong, yes. But very effective.

Hmmm...

I remember the case of a husband whose wife used to beat him because he was verbally abusive (here on NL). This went on for two years till the husband as usual verbally abused the wife who beat him back and he responded with two slaps...

The family resolved the issue with everyone standing off.

Perhaps wives should also slap/beat verbally abusive husbands.

freecocoa:
She can't be, not with all the bible quotations, christianity doesn't support feminism.

Don't think she is a feminist too. Typical feminists wouldn't see anything wrong in what she did and will put the entire blame on the husband. May he slapped feminism out of her!

TooNoisy:


Don't think she is a feminist too. Typical feminists wouldn't see anything wrong in what she did and will put the entire blame on the husband. May he slapped feminism out of her!

Lol, that's funny,

I don't agree that a feminist won't see any wrong in her doing, i'm a feminist you know. People confuse feminism with everything wrong done by a woman, and that's just wrong.

bukatyne:


Hmmm...

I remember the case of a husband whose wife used to beat him because he was verbally abusive (here on NL). This went on for two years till the husband as usual verbally abused the wife who beat him back and he responded with two slaps...

The family resolved the issue with everyone standing off.

Perhaps wives should also slap/beat verbally abusive husbands.

Oh, I'm very sure they would if they could. What with all the cases of househelp abuse we see everyday, it's a definite fact that men are not the custodians of physical abuse.

I would even go so far as to say that women are more violent when given the chance to be physically abusive.

5minsmadness:


Oh, I'm very sure they would if they could. What with all the cases of househelp abuse we see everyday, it's a definite fact that men are not the custodians of physical abuse.

I would even go so far as to say that women are more violent when given the chance to be physically abusive.

It sure would curb the running mouths of caustic husbands.

freecocoa:
Lol, that's funny,

I don't agree that a feminist won't see any wrong in her doing, i'm a feminist you know. People confuse feminism with everything wrong done by a woman, and that's just wrong.

Ok, but you are a moderate feminist. Even though I do not myself as a feminist, I identify with a lot of issues feminism stands for. Not trying to derail.

TooNoisy:


Don't think she is a feminist too. Typical feminists wouldn't see anything wrong in what she did and will put the entire blame on the husband. May he slapped feminism out of her!

SMH

TooNoisy:


Ok, but you are a moderate feminist. Even though I do not myself as a feminist, I identify with a lot of issues feminism stands for. Not trying to derail.

Now this is funny!

Did you mean to say typical feminists or extreme feminists?

I know extreme Christians who do not eat with their unbelieving parents... Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.... Perhaps there is something wrong with Christianity?

You identify with a lot of issues? 60% 70% 80%?

Me thinks you cannot be in the middle. It is either you are or you are not

LOL!

Have a good day

bukatyne:


Have a good day

Thanks. Have a good day too!

TooNoisy:


Ok, but you are a moderate feminist. Even though I do not myself as a feminist, I identify with a lot of issues feminism stands for. Not trying to derail.

As should be.

Extremism is bad, the fact that some radicals are taking things to dangerous extents, doesn't mean that is the intent of the movement.

Yea, let's not derail, we can do this on an appropriate thread, cheers!

bukatyne:


It sure would curb the running mouths of caustic husbands.

.
Yes it would!
You totally get my point.



Wait...

You are being sarcastic aren't you