And all these lies in the movies, especially "telemundo" ha been killing relationships from time immemorial.







Mtcheeeew.

mistytohcute:
lmao

Show me..

Hahahahahaha, anyone who expects that number 3 in real life ehn?! Lwkmd. By the time your collect 18 blows at once, na afterlife tinz straight.

Op weldon for make my sunday hilarious, funny.

pembisco:


so mek we scroll up deh go look wetin no6 talk abi?
smd

Nor mind d gal..

She nor dey use im no6

P.s. Dnt shake dt, rememba its sunday

Dear OP, you have been watching bad Hollywood and Nollywood movies.

[quote author=CrazyScientist post=35235540]

#3.It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-They are waiting to figure out ur weakness.


#6. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.


#7.It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

-and provided you have flown one before on your PlayStation .



#10.A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

-Na love. Have u ever been in love?


#12.Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

-especially in Yoruba movies. The funny part is that after d vigorous swerving, they will just park d car jejely a few inches 4rm a tree. Yet all d occupants will die, with blood everywhere.

#13.All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

- wetin concern Boko Haram with time bomb?

#14.A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-This is usually d case especially if his boss(es) is (are) trying to cover up a case. When he's in service; he mu
st obey his bosses. But when he's suspended, he will be free to investigate without having to answer to anyone.

#15. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

Bollywood!!!

#18. If aliens invade earth, the USA would be their destination and the only place they would destroy.

-Because they believe once d superpower of a nation (USA) is conquered, it'll take a domino effect on other countries.


#20. Aliens understand English.
- astronauts who disappeared in space were actually kidnapped by aliens and forced to teach them English b4 coming to earth
.

#21. When under heavy fire, all your enemies suddenly have unsteady hands and you always escape the bullets, but your own accuracy increases exponentially, that you make nothing other than head-shots

- Imagine o. Those who are on a spot with a better aim to shoot misses u, while u who is on d run makes head-shots.

#27. When you hear a weird sound from a dark corner, instead of running, you just have to check what it is
.

-That's d Oyinbos for you. Maybe be na gullibility or or bravado; I can't fathom. I trust africans sha.

#28. all the boys and men in the time when technology had not come to africa always have nice hair cuts and their hair is always well carved like the work of a clipper.

- so true. Have you seen a haircut (done by a proffessional) done with a comb and a blade? Even some barbers with their cippers can't beat it.

#30. Your clothes always come out dry even if you escaped from a sinking submarine at the bottom of the ocean.

-The fear and anxiety caused d body to generate enormous heat which then dries up d cloth.

Lol, Just Like The plenty many funny film tricks in "ARROW" Light goes off when he visits his targets and back on when he leaves" who dey off/on the light?

In superhero movies(comics), the army always goes into extinction all of a sudden, leaving just a handful of superheroes to save the entire world.

When the good guy's car crashes, the car is seriously damaged, but he always manages to get out alive; however, if the bad guy's car crashes, it explodes instantly and goes up in flames killing the bad guy.

Op, you want too much film and you are gradually becoming what you watch. Be careful.

mrlaw93:
Is this meant to be funny and i didnt laugh?

... guy u need a psychologist or counsellor cos ur problem seems to b higher than dis joke... I jst laffed my ass out here nd u saying it's not funny.... bro ur issue is from d village... no offence oo blooda

For hollywood film
- prom king is always the captain of the football team and prom queen is the captain of the cheerleader squad
- the bomb only goes off when actor is out of the building
- a hundred dollar bill can cover any cab fare even without looking at the meter
- you can get away with killing a thousand dudes as long as it's in self defence
- sex takes 10 seconds
- assassins or serial killers are always smarter than the whole police force
- they shoot at the good guy when he has a bullet proof vest/car but switch to fist fight when he has no bullet proof on
-police detectives drive a ferrari to work(especially the black guys)
-all police detectives have a dead wife and kid
-all spies look like brad pitt talk like pierce brosnan and dress like pastor ighodalo but still manage to walk around unnoticed

Any movie you see Jim Iyke in, its either he is a play boy, or a spoilt child.

dreydee:
See as people dey look me for church for laughing out loud nice write-up OP ;

hea, you mean you were browsing niaraland in the church when service was in process? There's God o!

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Op, abeg I dey church. People are looking at me laughing, and the preaching is not funny.

dreydee:
See as people dey look me for church for laughing out loud nice write-up OP ;

So you dey inside church dey 2go

#15 applies mainly to Bollywood movies.

In Nollywood, somebody wanted to commit suicide and he shot himself in the head................THREE TIMES!!

#3 got me.

In Nollywood, the wise one (priest) will always paint one eye white and move in an unsteady manner. Ghost will dodge a moving car. In yoruba movies the english translation is full of errors. In Hollywood, all principle actors can virtually know how to operate a car, boat, ship, aeroplane, train, motor bike. And in Yoruba movie, they will play Celine Dion or other American love songs when a man and woman are in love yet they call it Yoruba movie.

anotherfemi:
#7.It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

There is some truth to this one sha......i cant say about it applying in nigeria...but i know that its possible

p.s. i'm an aircraft maintenance engineer

It depends if the airport itself has ILS capabilites but if na VOR navigation and landing... your OYO.

imma2:


It depends if the airport itself has ILS capabilites but if na VOR navigation and landing... your OYO.

Seriously? How do you come about that conclusion brother?

Minemrys:

s0mething i learnt from superman films. Krypt0nite is never scarce but the questi0n is why d0n't criminals use it in metropolis. The joker is a maniac but batman will never kill him.

The dark knight does not kill outrightly (A martial art code) unfortunately, the joker is very aware of the code & uses it to tease the dark knight.
As for criminals using Kryptonite on the man of steel, the smart ones with strategic plans to actually hurt superman usually do.

only in 24 of jack bauer will make you think otherwise

mrlaw93:
Is this meant to be funny and i didnt laugh?

Then your problems are greater than the joke ni. Pele

I know the Nollywood Ghosts are really getting people to LOL, but the one that really made me to ROTFL is Ghosts in Nollywood having shadows!!! The thing tire me.

Lmao!!! So true

With Expo In An Exam And Evrybody Starts Dancing. [/quote].... Lol! bruh this is awesome!...Lol its actually true!....

mrlaw93:
Is this meant to be funny and i didnt laugh?

cus ur problem is bigger dan nigeria.

The new guy in school is always after the babe of the most popular guy in school