If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us - Education

If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us - Education - Nairaland

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If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(op): 10:12pm On Jul 04, 2015*

The poem below is a condensed version of 'The Chaos' by Gerard Nolst Trenité , written in 1922.
It features a ridiculous number of words that are difficult to pronounce, so don't feel bad if you have to refer to a dictionary. I certainly did!

If you fancy yourself something of a professional linguist, then this challenge is for you. English is notoriously difficult to learn, as the language has so many exceptions to the rules. Even for a native English speaker, this poem presents quite a few challenges! Check it out and see how you fare. If you can pronounce all of the words, you speak English better than 90% of the population.

Here we go!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by April07: 10:18pm On Jul 04, 2015

Wow! This is a really beautiful piece! cheesy

And... I read the whole poem without pausing.. yup! I didn't mix up any word lipsrsealed

Bad asss

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 11:13pm On Jul 04, 2015

Beautiful.

1 Like

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by AfricanApple(f): 11:22pm On Jul 04, 2015

What's difficult there undecided

26 Likes

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(op): 11:59pm On Jul 04, 2015*

AfricanApple:
What's difficult there

There is this word I was sure I couldn't pronounce correctly when I read the poem. It is "victual" transcribed as \ˈvi-təl\. It is sounds more like "vital" and that got me scratching my head.

Anyone can read but not everyone can pronunce words correctly.

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Oahray: 12:48am On Jul 05, 2015

Hehehehe... Not a word did I miss. My prize, whatever rhymes with this. Wait jor, not a kiss... *hiss* but solitary bliss. That's right, leave me in peace! undecided

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by registration(m): 1:58am On Jul 05, 2015

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by April07: 5:00am On Jul 05, 2015

Oahray:
Hehehehe... Not a word did I miss. My prize, whatever rhymes with this. Wait jor, not a kiss... *hiss* but solitary bliss. That's right, leave me in peace!

Show off!! grin

Solitary bliss? Oh please. In peace ke. What happens to our ticket? See how that rhymes not with wicked but cricket. Msttcheew
I'll just go play golf and drink Smirnoff grin

56 Likes 1 Share

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by zoonermm: 5:27am On Jul 05, 2015

Nice piece of work. No man can pronounce them all correctly, i should think we still have words nd pronounciation in our schools. Please dont decieve urself u got it right just becos u read it.

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by modskiller(m): 5:54am On Jul 05, 2015

Piece of cake.
I even did it with my mouth closed angry

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 7:03am On Jul 05, 2015

I read it with ease...oya front page

Lalasticlala

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by AbuMikey(m): 7:18am On Jul 05, 2015

With Ease

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 7:29am On Jul 05, 2015

Make all of una up there dey lie to una selves. Including those that cannot make a complete statement without a single gbagaun. grin

All liars? ..... ......Fill in the blanks.

Story. undecided

12 Likes

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Dubby6(m): 8:21am On Jul 05, 2015

Mtcheew e no hard self....

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by pomporiking: 8:36am On Jul 05, 2015

Anyone who claims to have pronounced the words correctly is a liar

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Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by playboy99(m): 8:42am On Jul 05, 2015

Nice 90percent #ACE

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by Nobody: 8:55am On Jul 05, 2015

Nobody even the english can pronounce all the words correctly

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by alexasomba(op): 9:32am On Jul 05, 2015

modskiller:
Piece of cake.

I even did it with my mouth closed

There is always someone who didn't pay attention to the post tittle. undecided

9 Likes

Re: If You Can Pronounce This Whole Poem, You Speak English Better Than 90% Of Us by orogodoganyin(m): 9:43am On Jul 05, 2015

not sure i found mch out of the ordinary. the fing wt english is mobility. the more u move around, the more ppl u cum across, the better ur pronunciation. this is 'cos different ppl 4rm different communities use different words 4 d same thing nd they're all correct

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