₦airaland Forum

Quite often, a lot of people find themselves with issues defining their definite life purpose. They lack self-fulfillment and know they aren't accomplishing much and also know they ought to be doing more with their lives but just seem lost and confused as to what it is. Usually this leads them to working jobs they don't desire and just have to do to make ends meet, ending up unhappy, stressed and angry. This results in them transferring their aggression to coworkers, friends, family and people they come across daily at some point.

I can relate with that because it is an experience I have felt and really did not like. It gets worse because we spend so much time at the workplace and being often exposed to such environment means that we would just get that feeling over and over again, making it a part of us and depriving us of so much pleasant things like love, happiness, friendship and the feeling of fulfillment.

Honestly we do not have to go through it, and only do so because we unconsciously choose to. We do not need to work jobs we do not find pleasant and satisfactory. As a matter of fact, we can do the things we desire and pursue our dream careers only if we decide that we want to do so. And when we are doing the things we are passionate about, we stand a better chance of success and this eventually leads to more efficiency at the workplace, healthier relationships and marriages and a happier life.

The only way to achieve this is to first discover your definite major purpose which is the driving force to lead to success and then seek and accomplish goals in that respect. When you realise the power you possess to create the life you desire, then you can strive to do just that. And this is one of the many needs for self-development.

Thats very correct. You reminded me of one of my mumu boss who earns 120k monthly + extra change daily and for years no single achievement. Anyway ones goal once detected should be our aim and target. Not just roaming about.

Also many people claims they need money both young and old. One day, i decided to interview people to really know what they use money for, at the end of my interview, i was upset cos you see people working hard as a factory worker all in the name of buying tablet phone which they cant operate. Some said they need money to celebrate their girlfriend's birthday, one man said he needs money to alway check in an hotel, some ladies end up saying to buy clothes, jewelleries,shoes etc. I think i dont blame nigeria but blame nigerians for the economy.

Trayoralas:
Also many people claims they need money both young and old. One day, i decided to interview people to really know what they use money for, at the end of my interview, i was upset cos you see people working hard as a factory worker all in the name of buying tablet phone which they cant operate. Some said they need money to celebrate their girlfriend's birthday, one man said he needs money to alway check in an hotel, some ladies end up saying to buy clothes, jewelleries,shoes etc. I think i dont blame nigeria but blame nigerians for the economy.

It's rather appalling that people choose not to learn and then the society suffers. One response I got on this same thread on another section from a man is that his main purpose is having children and providing for them to extend his lineage. And as I asked if it does translate to a vision for him, he said so tenaciously that he would simply go to school, get good grades and get a good job. And I'm like hmm We just need to start to ask ourselves relevant questions.

@op listen up, the Nigeria of today (i mean the Nigeria our fathers are leaving for us) does not give one the needed opportunity to discover ones main purpose in life, not to now talk of the opportunity to work out such goals and make sure the become accomplished. Right from childhood an average individual usually has one or two future ambition(s) which he plans achieve in life, but with time they become just dreams, then unattainable goals, and finally forgotten dreams. Take for example an individual who wants to be a doctor for the purpose of touching lives, but is constantly being declined admission by UNILAG for 3 consecutive years and the 4th year he puts in for medicine in unilag as first choice and microbiology in lasu. As usual he is denied admission by unilag after meeting cut-offs, but finally gets admitted to study microbiology in lasu. Ok, fast forward after 4years studying microbiology which he has no passion for and after the completion of nysc he is faced with the problem of getting a good job in his area of study. At the end he gets a job in an insurance company where he is treated like shiiit, but he keeps up with the whole shiity treatment he gets because he wants to make a living no matter what. Later he becomes a boss in the industry, but becomes a pain in the ass for his subordinates, he treats people shiitier than he was ever treated while he was a junior.
The main point of my story is, the harsh reality of the society has turned our young friend who wanted to become a doctor to touch lives, into nothing but pain in the ass for for his subordinates and a ruthless task master who barely gives a hoot about others welfare provided the team is able to meet and exceed set targets. And as u can see my friend, his goals have been transformed into forgotten goals.

Lovely thread.

@OP...God bless you.

ajasa4link:
@op listen up, the Nigeria of today (i mean the Nigeria our fathers are leaving for us) does not give one the needed opportunity to discover ones main purpose in life, not to now talk of the opportunity to work out such goals and make sure the become accomplished. Right from childhood an average individual usually has one or two future ambition(s) which he plans achieve in life, but with time they become just dreams, then unattainable goals, and finally forgotten dreams. Take for example an individual who wants to be a doctor for the purpose of touching lives, but is constantly being declined admission by UNILAG for 3 consecutive years and the 4th year he puts in for medicine in unilag as first choice and microbiology in lasu. As usual he is denied admission by unilag after meeting cut-offs, but finally gets admitted to study microbiology in lasu. Ok, fast forward after 4years studying microbiology which he has no passion for and after the completion of nysc he is faced with the problem of getting a good job in his area of study. At the end he gets a job in an insurance company where he is treated like shiiit, but he keeps up with the whole shiity treatment he gets because he wants to make a living no matter what. Later he becomes a boss in the industry, but becomes a pain in the ass for his subordinates, he treats people shiitier than he was ever treated while he was a junior.
The main point of my story is, the harsh reality of the society has turned our young friend who wanted to become a doctor to touch lives, into nothing but pain in the ass for for his subordinates and a ruthless task master who barely gives a hoot about others welfare provided the team is able to meet and exceed set targets. And as u can see my friend, his goals have been transformed into forgotten goals.

Just like many other people you have highlighted the problem which we all know is a big problem. But have you sought a solution? No you haven't. From what you say an individual has a few ambitions that eventually end up as dreams, but if I tell you it should be the other way round, would you agree?

First it starts with the dream and turns into an ambition but still remains a dream if it is going to be realised. You cannot accomplish something if you cannot dream it and then through the right processes make it a reality. Yes our fathers are leaving us nothing good but they say if life throws lemons at you, make lemonades out of them. We all have the power to create something out of nothing, let alone what is being left for us which is something. The truth is that every society have their own problems but that doesn't stop those who still conquer and thrive in those environments.

If you read through history you would learn about people like Andrew Carnegie who made millions out of a steel industry he knew nothing about, only that he had the dream to do so. From this dream emerges the desire to achieve it and when you possess a strong desire to achieve something, there's no stopping you. The problem with our own society is that we focus on the difficulties and those we cannot do, rather than on the things we can do.

Life itself is difficult but nothing good comes without difficulties. Without pressure diamonds cannot be retrieved from rocks. Without extreme heat you cannot get chunks of gold. Amidst thorns do roses blossom.
Success in any endeavor requires steps that every successful man passes through and in appreciating the difficult process do they come out victorious.

Regardless of the situation, defining our purpose is mandatory as it is the first step. Before making a trip, you should know your destination. As the destination compels us to make the trip, so does purpose and desire push us to do the needful to achieve success. The individual abandoned the dream and settled for less than he desired. And like I said it only gets worse as you see that he not only made life unpleasant for himself but also for those around him and his surbodinates at the company.

sholay2011:
Lovely thread.

@OP...God bless you.

Bless you too Sir

bare1:
Just like many other people you have highlighted the problem which we all know is a big problem. But have you sought a solution? No you haven't. From what you say an individual has a few ambitions that eventually end up as dreams, but if I tell you it should be the other way round, would you agree?

First it starts with the dream and turns into an ambition but still remains a dream if it is going to be realised. You cannot accomplish something if you cannot dream it and then through the right processes make it a reality. Yes our fathers are leaving us nothing good but they say if life throws lemons at you, make lemonades out of them. We all have the power to create something out of nothing, let alone what is being left for us which is something. The truth is that every society have their own problems but that doesn't stop those who still conquer and thrive in those environments.

If you read through history you would learn about people like Andrew Carnegie who made millions out of a steel industry he knew nothing about, only that he had the dream to do so. From this dream emerges the desire to achieve it and when you possess a strong desire to achieve something, there's no stopping you. The problem with our own society is that we focus on the difficulties and those we cannot do, rather than on the things we can do.

Life itself is difficult but nothing good comes without difficulties. Without pressure diamonds cannot be retrieved from rocks. Without extreme heat you cannot get chunks of gold. Amidst thorns do roses blossom.
Success in any endeavor requires steps that every successful man passes through and in appreciating the difficult process do they come out victorious.

Regardless of the situation, defining our purpose is mandatory as it is the first step. Before making a trip, you should know your destination. As the destination compels us to make the trip, so does purpose and desire push us to do the needful to achieve success. The individual abandoned the dream and settled for less than he desired. And like I said it only gets worse as you see that he not only made life unpleasant for himself but also for those around him and his surbodinates at the company.

I appreciate what u are saying and where u are coming from. But at times the harsh reality of things is different from what u read in motivational books, citing examples of white men who grew up in the western world and what have u.
I think at the end of the day it takes God's grace to pursue one's purpose /ambition to a positive conclusion

ajasa4link:
I appreciate what u are saying and where u are coming from. But at times the harsh reality of things is different from what u read in motivational books, citing examples of white men who grew up in the western world and what have u.
I think at the end of the day it takes God's grace to pursue one's purpose /ambition to a positive conclusion

I second this post.

The environment Andrew Carnegie found himself was key..@ajasa4link put things in context, we need to factor in the harsh reality of the country we have found ourself

ajasa4link:
I appreciate what u are saying and where u are coming from. But at times the harsh reality of things is different from what u read in motivational books, citing examples of white men who grew up in the western world and what have u.
I think at the end of the day it takes God's grace to pursue one's purpose /ambition to a positive conclusion

Circumstances shouldn't control us, we should control circumstances instead. God never created us to be losers but to win it all the time. That we are created in God's image and likeness doesn't just mean our appearances, there's a lot more to that, meaning we were created for greatness and possess the power to do great things. Even our Lord Jesus Christ mentioned it in the Bible. Regardless of where a man comes from, he is still man and if only he seeks power in knowledge he would be unstoppable. God's grace reigns with us eternal right from the moment He gave us His word.

jamanuka:
The environment Andrew Carnegie found himself was key..@ajasa4link put things in context, we need to factor in the harsh reality of the country we have found ourself

Do you mean to say there aren't great men doing great things in our society? Aren't there many failures even in the Western world?

We have the right environment everywhere, but it starts with you. You have to find the right environment yourself. The environment you need is with those successful people because to become like them, you have to think like them.

Just so you all know, Africa is high on the list of continents with emerging millionaires and entrepreneurs. Be aware that Lagos has the third highest number of millionaires behind Johannesburg and Cairo, right above Capetown, South Africa.


http://pulse.ng/business/african-money-men-check-out-the-cities-on-the-continent-where-you-find-super-millionaires-id3745156.html

bare1:
It's rather appalling that people choose not to learn and then the society suffers. One response I got on this same thread on another section from a man is that his main purpose is having children and providing for them to extend his lineage. And as I asked if it does translate to a vision for him, he said so tenaciously that he would simply go to school, get good grades and get a good job. And I'm like hmm We just need to start to ask ourselves relevant questions.

Not everyone wants a deeper meaning to life.
I, like my forefathers, want to come into life, have children, take care of them and groom them well into adulthood so they can continue the cycle. If my children or their children want something deeper from life then they are free to chase whatever it is. I on the other hand would stay content with what I build for myself.

Everything the average man does in life is centred around getting a good mate and creating offspring; its agreed some people go against the grain but the majority of humans follow that thought because it has worked for millions of years.

charix:
Not everyone wants a deeper meaning to life.
I, like my forefathers, want to come into life, have children, take care of them and groom them well into adulthood so they can continue the cycle. If my children or their children want something deeper from life then they are free to chase whatever it is. I on the other hand would stay content with what I build for myself.

Everything the average man does in life is centred around getting a good mate and creating offspring; its agreed some people go against the grain but the majority of humans follow that thought because it has worked for millions of years.

Exactly bro! I think an individual whose focus in life is to get a decent living and reproduce hasn't done anything wrong and in fact is a fulfilled person because if u think about the great hustle of getting money, packing it in millions and keeping it only to spend it in getting good life, then u will know an average individual who makes decent living and reproduce has lived a good life with meaningful purpose unlike his colleague in the opposite camp

This question is very pertinent and once its answer can be figured then "living" replaces "existence". Forgets that cliche of "anywhere belle face na way" and figure out your purpose which is then followed by that strong desire and driving force to achieve it. It does not stop there. One then needs to take the neccessary actions/steps needed to achieve such purpose. Then the joy of self-fulfillment, real living and self-actualization will know no bounds in your life.


Nice one @poster
Nice one

charix:
Not everyone wants a deeper meaning to life.
I, like my forefathers, want to come into life, have children, take care of them and groom them well into adulthood so they can continue the cycle. If my children or their children want something deeper from life then they are free to chase whatever it is. I on the other hand would stay content with what I build for myself.

Everything the average man does in life is centred around getting a good mate and creating offspring; its agreed some people go against the grain but the majority of humans follow that thought because it has worked for millions of years.

I figured that out before you said so and I do not have anything against your desire. The post was actually meant for people who seek more from life and I stated clearly for those who seek their definite major purpose. To you, your purpose on Earth could be to bear children but some have a greater purpose to be of essence to the world, to shine bright and glorify the Creator who gave life. When you stop thinking about yourself, maybe you would realise that you owe those children you would bear the responsibility of a life of purpose and not a family tree which is only restricted to the thought patterns of the world.

PRISTINEMUSCLES:
This question is very pertinent and once its answer can be figured then "living" replaces "existence". Forgets that cliche of "anywhere belle face na way" and figure out your purpose which is then followed by that strong desire and driving force to achieve it. It does not stop there. One then needs to take the neccessary actions/steps needed to achieve such purpose. Then the joy of self-fulfillment, real living and self-actualization will know no bounds in your life.


Nice one @poster
Nice one

Thank you Sir. Despite so many still existing in the dark of what our forefathers left us, quite a number of people have started to realise that life was given for us to live to the fullest. Only people who haven't found the courage to live still think that to be wealthy is not a good thing. They're quick to use the phrase 'all rich men would go to hell' failing to realise that wealth is part of God's gift to man.

ajasa4link:
Exactly bro! I think an individual whose focus in life is to get a decent living and reproduce hasn't done anything wrong and in fact is a fulfilled person because if u think about the great hustle of getting money, packing it in millions and keeping it only to spend it in getting good life, then u will know an average individual who makes decent living and reproduce has lived a good life with meaningful purpose unlike his colleague in the opposite camp

So what you're saying is a man whose only concern is to work to earn a living to cater for him and his family alone is more fulfilled than a man who works hard to create great wealth for himself and easily caters for his family and in addition betters the life of so many people through providing work for them and many more others through acts of charity?

bare1:
So what you're saying is a man whose only concern is to work to earn a living to cater for him and his family alone is more fulfilled than a man who works hard to create great wealth for himself and easily caters for his family and in addition betters the life of so many people through providing work for them and many more others through acts of charity?

Of course not!... What am simply saying is a man who earns a decent living and caters for his family is more fufilled than an individual who amasses wealth just for the purpose of being called wealthy. To me, living a middle class, helping the few people u can help is far more better than being a multimillionaire whom half of the population hates. Anyway its just my personal opinion which i know not everyone will share

ajasa4link:
Of course not!... What am simply saying is a man who earns a decent living and caters for his family is more fufilled than an individual who amasses wealth just for the purpose of being called wealthy. To me, living a middle class, helping the few people u can help is far more better than being a multimillionaire whom half of the population hates. Anyway its just my personal opinion which i know not everyone will share

A man who desires a decent life to cater for his family is a selfish man. He's not thinking of anyone but himself. To be honest with you, successful people mostly have others in mind when building their fortune because they understand that it's in giving that they receive. Many of the things they learn is what the Bible teaches and that's why they end up establishing foundations to cater for the poor. Wealthy men are not hated but admired. Only jealous and lazy men - the Cains and Esaus of our time - who lack the courage to set and achieve goals envy them. You guys have no business on this thread because with such mindset like that of Robert Kiyosaki's poor dad, you're not going to understand the motive of this topic.

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bare1:
A man who desires a decent life to cater for his family is a selfish man. He's not thinking of anyone but himself. To be honest with you, successful people mostly have others in mind when building their fortune because they understand that it's in giving that they receive. Many of the things they learn is what the Bible teaches and that's why they end up establishing foundations to cater for the poor. Wealthy men are not hated but admired. Only jealous and lazy men - the Cains and Esaus of our time - who lack the courage to set and achieve goals envy them. You guys have no business on this thread because with such mindset like that of Robert Kiyosaki's poor dad, you're not going to understand the motive of this topic.

Oga if u dont want our opinion, u shouldn't have opened the thread on a public forum or general discussion. Its my opinion am airing for crying out loud. Ah na wa o

ajasa4link:
Oga if u dont want our opinion, u shouldn't have opened the thread on a public forum or general discussion. Its my opinion am airing for crying out loud. Ah na wa o

You have aired your opinion, thank you. This is a personal development thread but you do not need it. You guys are comfortable where you are and have stated it that not everyone wants a deeper meaning to life. So you see, it's for everyone that seeks more from life and are willing to leave their comfort zone.

"Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution."

We all have mates we grow up with, but by the time we are 65, out of a hundred only about 5% would turn out rich and successful. Out of the other 95%, some would still roam around without a purpose but just a feeling of an unfulfilled life. Some who had the mindset of having children who would take care of them in old age would actually age so quickly with worries when the children they hoped to depend on find themselves battling with life because of a lack of a good education - the kind that even the best schools don't offer. And all these because one man lacked a definite purpose.

Everyone has was created for a purpose but many do not realise, so rather than share in the abundance of the world, they only contribute to it's suffering. Our Creator in all majesty and greatness did not create losers. Animals can roam the earth reproducing over and over again, some for food, others for clothing but man has a greater purpose. I do not need to quote Scripture to state even though it's nice to have a family, we are made for more. However in renewing of our minds from conformity, we can only realise God's will for us. I know most of the great men spoken of in the Bible were rich men, so when you hear a person tell you riches are bad and they would rather live ordinary lives, just know they haven't found their purpose yet. Unlike the popular saying invented by lazy people, "all rich men will go to hell" only if you're evil would you go to hell.

Have you ever tried to sell an idea to a rich and successful man, or know anyone who tried to and have been rejected even if it was a very brilliant idea? If you have, you might have started to feel unsure about your idea and yourself as such and perhaps eventually gave up on that idea.

Honestly I would say to you that it's not always totally about the idea. You personally, play a great part to the visualisation, acceptance and execution of that idea. You determine the life of that idea being the creator, and if you don't rise up to the occasion, you either see that idea discarded like a piece of trash or see it actualised by someone else. One barrier as to why many people fear to form and present ideas in the first place.

I will tell you how you affect this process so you can analyse it yourself, for this thread is a thread for learning - unfortunately a section for this form of learning, one that proves more important than all other sections on this forum because individual performance is the basis of all else has not been created. I had to snap at a couple of posters who clearly were not here for this purpose and could mislead those of us that seek to learn, for wise men live to learn everyday while the less wiser ones believe they know it all and don't see need for learning. Personally I choose to be a learn it all rather than a know it all. Funny enough they didn't even get the title question in the first place.

Now back to the subject. One thing about successful people is that they think differently. They are critical thinkers who analyse what you expect them to and even more than that. When you hang around them, you can ascertain the level and quality of their thoughts and can only learn to think like them. You present an idea to them, an idea you have all your focus on to be a great idea. While the investor considers this idea to an extent, he is more concerned with if you can pull it off. He is assessing your character and your attitude to setting and achieving goals. From a person's words, you know their thought pattern and mindset, and can easily determine what they are made of. An investor doesn't seek to invest to lose so he doesn't want to invest on an idea that isn't bankable. And what makes an idea bankable? It is the originator and his ability to see it through. One thing is for sure that an investor would not invest in a person without a definite purpose. An investor would not invest in a person that doesn't see or think much of themselves, neither would he invest in an ordinary person - cause there are many of them out there - but would rather invest in someone extraordinary. Any idea can be turned into a big thing with the right attitude, but trust me, without a definite major purpose you would never amount to much in your life.

So tell me, if it were you, what would you rather do? Invest in a person who doesn't know where he's headed in life, or a person who has got a definite major purpose, something to live for, something to spur him on to do great things in this world, living a fulfilled life and glorifying the work of the Creator in his life?