₦airaland Forum

moski5:
Op CONGRATULATIONS

I just found this thread and I did what I haven't done in awhile Read through everything

Since you have gotten what your heart desired No need to drop my 2cents lol

I'd say this though Stay prayer

Expand your food Business if you are passionate about it There's big money in it

Stay blessed

nifemi25:
Don't divorce him instead advice him to lay his hand on something and always support him with prayer. Õoº°˚ ˚°ºoo shi ma da.

thelish:
please I need advice on my marriage. my husband is lazy and always dependents on people for survival. Am tired of supporting a man who is not ready to stand. At a time, I had to start selling food for us to cope n pay our son's school fees. we are both graduates. He got depressed and discouraged after applying for several jobs. he graduated since 2008, and still jobless till now. I don't know how I can cope any longer. please matured people of nairaland should advice me. chair cover, efemenaxy, greatgod2012, its a pity osisi is not around anymore, cococandy, tallesty n many more I can't mention. thank u all.

raumdeuter:
The bolded are a lesson for men who are blinded by love and give selflessly in a relationship

Once you are broke, most women would forget those act and leave you. When you were down he stood by you, when he is down you feel like divorcing him

You are not at fault he is the one to blame

thelish:
UPDATE: House, my husband has gotten a nice job ooo. Though still look like am dreaming, but its true. We have conquered. Years of suffering are over. This is a new journey all together. Can't really express my gratitude to God enough and to the good people of this section. God bless u guys for ur words of encouragement and support.
.................. Can I really list everyone? nooo, But the truth is, I appreciate everyone here. #ilovethisfeeling# Its not been easy for the past 7yrs of unemployment. God bless my home.

ayotoyin:
My razor......what more can I say again? Thank God for His GRACE, God bless your home.

kandiikane:
+100000
Many*

kandiikane:
I think you should read more about depression so you can help him the best way you can. Someone who is depressed won't be able to do what you seek. He is most likely feeling hopeless and it's not like he's lazy, it's the depression. Like I said, read more on depression, don't do anything you will regret. If he kills himself now when you leave, na yourself you go blame, unless of course it's not that serious, you meant to use a different word.

It's not known exactly what causes depression. As with many mental disorders

a variety of factors may be involved, such as:

Biological differences
People with depression appear to have physical changes in their brains. The significance of these changes is still uncertain, but may eventually help pinpoint causes.

Brain chemistry
Neurotransmitters are naturally occurring brain chemicals that likely play a role in depression. Recent research indicates that changes in the function and effect of these neurotransmitters and how they interact with neurocircuits involved in maintaining mood stability may play a significant role in depression and its treatment.

Hormones
Changes in the body's balance of hormones may be involved in causing or triggering depression. Hormone changes can result with pregnancy and during the weeks or months after delivery (postpartum) and from thyroid problems, menopause or a number of other conditions. Inherited traits. Depression is more common in people whose blood relatives also have this condition. Researchers are trying to find genes that may be involved in causing depression.

thelish:
UPDATE: House, my husband has gotten a nice job ooo. Though still look like am dreaming, but its true. We have conquered. Years of suffering are over. This is a new journey all together. Can't really express my gratitude to God enough and to the good people of this section. God bless u guys for ur words of encouragement and support.
Cc: ayotoyin, tearoses, kimoni, cococandy,marvellousGod, Acidiosis, enyijuege, mamaflex. .................. Can I really list everyone? nooo, But the truth is, I appreciate everyone here. #ilovethisfeeling# Its not been easy for the past 7yrs of unemployment. God bless my home.

Anyman who is truly depressed would not REJOICE upon receiving an appointment letter (like OP's hubby)

kandiikane:
I know what depression is. I have been around it and I have studied it extensively and I know how it affects the human body and mind. You are right, there doesn't necessarily have to be a source but not being able to work can be a trigger, loss of a loved one can be a trigger, there are many triggers, especially if a person is prone to it. Even the op could have contributed to his depression by telling him how worthless he is because of his joblessness and how she can't take the marriage anymore. One doesn't have to be clinically depressed for you to call what someone is feeling depression.

I am not saying the op's husband is depressed, he may not be, the op, may have used the wrong word in describing her husband but hypothetically speaking, lets say he was, if he got a job now and he is rejoicing, still doesn't mean he is not suffering from it. He could probably go back to it in the next couple of weeks who know. His could be mild but it is good that you posted some info on it.

Acidosis

Mamaflex:
Wow!!!!! I actually jumped up and started dancing. Lol. Wow! Thank God! You see, I told you. Lol. I'm so happy. Thank you Jesus.

Enjoy dear.

Acidosis:
my kandii kandii You're right

kandiikane:
I know what depression is. I have been around it and I have studied it extensively and I know how it affects the human body and mind. You are right, there doesn't necessarily have to be a source but not being able to work can be a trigger, loss of a loved one can be a trigger, there are many triggers, especially if a person is prone to it. Even the op could have contributed to his depression by telling him how worthless he is because of his joblessness and how she can't take the marriage anymore. One doesn't have to be clinically depressed for you to call what someone is feeling depression.

I am not saying the op's husband is depressed, he may not be, the op, may have used the wrong word in describing her husband but hypothetically speaking, lets say he was, if he got a job now and he is rejoicing, still doesn't mean he is not suffering from it. He could probably go back to it in the next couple of weeks who know. His could be mild but it is good that you posted some info on it.

Acidosis

kandiikane:
I know what depression is. I have been around it and I have studied it extensively and I know how it affects the human body and mind. You are right, there doesn't necessarily have to be a source but not being able to work can be a trigger, loss of a loved one can be a trigger, there are many triggers, especially if a person is prone to it. Even the op could have contributed to his depression by telling him how worthless he is because of his joblessness and how she can't take the marriage anymore. One doesn't have to be clinically depressed for you to call what someone is feeling depression.

I am not saying the op's husband is depressed, he may not be, the op, may have used the wrong word in describing her husband but hypothetically speaking, lets say he was, if he got a job now and he is rejoicing, still doesn't mean he is not suffering from it. He could probably go back to it in the next couple of weeks who know. His could be mild but it is good that you posted some info on it.

Acidosis

thelish:
Have u ever told ur wife she is worthless? Do u know d meaning of worthless? Abeg nor put evil words for my mouth. I beg u. U talk as if am superhuman, so I don't get depressed abi? who caused my own depression Na? Abeg nor come spoil my mood ooo.

kandiikane:
You wanted to leave your husband because he was jobless, I mean, there is no reason for me not to think you did not rub his joblessness his face. Abeg, go celebrate his job offer and stop talking nonsense.

thelish:
Go n read n comprehend. Don't just jump into conclusion. Why I dey even answer u sef? What do u know about us? Take care

thelish:
my dear I never said he was my lover, he is still my lover, I have never stopped loving him. am just confuse n angry. when I said he stood by me, I never mentioned cash or money. if I dont love him, I will not assist with his school fees while we were in school. my ATM was for the both of us. it pains him that after all what I have done for him, I have not really enjoyed money wise. even the money I realized from my sales still belong to d both of us. neighbors n friends had laughed at me severally, that how can a beautiful young lady like u degrade yourself to sell food. but I don't answer them. am just scared that for how long will I continue like this? he is the only man I have known all my life.

Kimoni:
And you made my day thelishious

May God continually bless your home

Jonwesley:
You can't even respect your signature that says. "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger". Women have been failing the vow "till death do us part". since 0AD. Imagine if you had gone ahead, what would you do now that he has gotten a job?Weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning.

viruz007:
OP I will not lie to you... I can't even begin to comprehend what you are going through.

Now to be straight with you. Divorce is a capital NO. He has not cheated on you neither has he beaten you so kick that thought out of your head. I haven't gone through all the pages to know how long you have been married but all I can say is that, that perseverance and belief you had in him all of those years, don't let it fade now... Infact let it burn even brighter than before.

Pray for him and with him. Keep doing what you are doing. Encourage him not to give up applying or trying to raise funds to start a business of his.

My advice to you, Don't give up. God bless you for being an exceptional wife.

Cheers

thelish:
Thank u so much sir. I appreciate ur advice n concern. Though the story have changed. You can screw up to read d update. God bless u

viruz007:
Seen the update.. God's name be praised... God bless you for being a virtuous woman. All will be well... Cheers

kerny:
Awwwwwn ,sister girl I'm so happy for you,read through the comments and I literally burst into tears when I saw your update(lol I don't understand too the matter does not even consign me)May the lord pamanently keep the smile on your face.