A Man Thinks About Death - Poems For Review - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Entertainment › Literature › Poems For Review › A Man Thinks About Death (953 Views)
| A Man Thinks About Death by llaykorn(op): 7:56am On Sep 08, 2015 |
Indifferent and benign, A man thinks about death. Indifferent and benign. Subconscious underneath, Darkness is dumb. A man thinks about death. Dreams in the womb, A Death we await. As if life were a tomb. Death is like a gate. Death your totalled sum, Certainty of fate. Falling through time, Life is distractions. death, a faded line. A man works out his reactions Indifferent and benign, learning from distractions. Death our faded line.. |
| Re: A Man Thinks About Death by AllNaijaBlogger(m): 8:19am On Sep 08, 2015 |
Weak! Try and beat this my poem (which is on a similar topic) http://allnaijablog.com/a-memory-of-death |
| Re: A Man Thinks About Death by AllNaijaBlogger(m): 8:20am On Sep 08, 2015 |
or this one http://allnaijablog.com/rebirth |
| Re: A Man Thinks About Death by llaykorn(op): 8:25am On Sep 08, 2015 |
AllNaijaBlogger:It feels weak because there is some sort of disconnection at every line break, which was intentional by the way.  But, I'm doing this once more. |
| Re: A Man Thinks About Death by AllNaijaBlogger(m): 8:47am On Sep 08, 2015 |
llaykorn:haha! Your poem is actually good. I just said it is weak so that you would view mine |
| Re: A Man Thinks About Death by llaykorn(op): 9:00am On Sep 08, 2015 |
AllNaijaBlogger:Hehe. But, ANB, I still wonder sometimes what really makes a good poem. Take a look at the poem in the second link you shared: it's so awesome. The first has some bigger words, longer lines, and it still feels a thousand times better reading the second one. There is something mystical, very mystical, about simplicity. What'd'ya think? |