“Brother there is no firewood in the house oh!” I returned from searching for firewood at home.

“so what do we do?”

“I suggest we close for the day!” I wished.

“how can we close when we have all this plenty customers?” Brother Wale said, “can’t you see they are enjoying the music I am playing?”

“m’umu, Your mate dey play better music you dey play Michael Jackson song!” I wondered what Michael Jackson's songs had to do with Akara.

“yes brother they are enjoying it I can see!” I said, “so what do we do?”

“go to the bush!” He said.

“go to the bush? Who?”

“You of course”

“Me? But it is late na!” I complained.

“you will use torch light, or are you scared?”

“Me? Scared? Why I go fear? I get mind die!” I said that because Tolani Yemi’s younger sister just walked pass.

“Ehheeen! That’s my brother, Okunri meta!” Brother Wale handed over the torchlight to me, “don’t come back unless you are coming back with firewood oh!”

"see your mouth! why you no go by yourself!"


“Yemi come follow me go find firewood for bush na, abeg!” I pleaded.

“Guy I wan go chop!” What a friend.

“No money, no friends!” I encouraged myself with the words of the notorious Big as I walked the meandering part to the bush.

“Bruuuuuu! Broooar! Bruuuuu!” I turned.

“who be that?”

Mehn! The bush was so dark that the torchlight I held was like a mare fire ant.

Legend has it that in the bushes in Anifowoshe lives babies, Bush babies – they are dwarfs with one leg and with gray hair carrying a walking stick.

“mewww!” I heard and the hair in the back of my head stood.

“mewww!”

As I bent down I heard, “mew mew mew mew mew!” I concluded two bush babies were fighting.

“SB if this bush baby meet you here na die you don die oh!”

Rumour had it that Kuti died of two slaps from two bush babies that slapped him after having sex with him. Little wonder the cliché “I go slap you like Kuti!” reigned in the neighbourhood while Kuti was sick for two weeks and after his death.

“I go like make bush baby f’uck me like Kuti oh! E go make sense” I told Yemi when we heard of Kuti’s death.




“who is there!”

“guy carry one of that firewood and run!” I advised myself.

Soon I heard footsteps towards me.

And like a robot, I grabbed a huge firewood, placed it on my head and like a moving train I ran.

I turned for a while when I was about six metres from the street and saw that about three bush babies ran after me.

If two bush babies could have sex with Kuti and killed him with two slaps, three would sure kill SB.

I was glad I made it to the street seeing people walked and I was sure the bush babies feared the light. But something was missing, my firewood!

“Don’t come back unless you are coming back with firewood oh!” I remembered Brother Wale’s warning.

“I think say I carry the firewood for my head?” I asked myself.

“okay! I troway am that time so I go fit run fast oh!” I remembered.

“wetin I go do now? I no dey go back to that bush oh! God forbid!”

“Okay! I know wetin I go do!”

I had remembered that by Brother Luku’s fence lied two bunches of firewood, and I reached a conclusion – I was gonna steal.
Forgetting Brother Luku had three dogs, plus him, making it four.

flow1759:


True story as told to me by my friend SB, He is a graduate now. Despite all odds, he made it through school and he is serving now.

adonvote !#153 9ce story u av got dere ! Gr8 flow1759

Nicey. . . All I can say is :


OLiver Twist. ..

flooooooooooooow Na God save person o biko SB don enter gobe nice one

lols,very funny story

“hold it there!” I heard.

“you know that is stealing, you are a thief” I thought God was speaking to me.

“Bill! Skill! Trill! Get him!”

“Get who?" I thought I was dreaming.

Bill, Trill and Skill are skillful in biting off the cap. I remember Skill almost biting off Debo’s cap – the cap of his p’enis leaving only the b’alls, and we nicknamed Debo “Debo! where your pencil?”

“SB where your pencil?” I imagined Kpobo drawing a cartoon animation of me in the blackboard with a broken p’enis so I ran faster; I ran like there was no tomorrow, or like my tomorrow was dead.

“SB! Where are you running to?” I ran pass Tolani my crush, my babe rather.

“Nowhere! I am just exercising! I need to lose weight!”

“Aaaah!” I turned and saw that I had a running-partner already.

Didn’t they say “what a man can do a woman can do better”?

“Wait for me SB!” Women can be funny sha! I am running for my dear life and you are telling me to wait for you, is it a heavenly race? Even heavenly race is personal.

Then from nowhere, Tolani overtook me. She was running bare footed.

“Tolani!” I called. She was soon two metres ahead.

Yemi had told me severally that Tolani was always coming first in their school's inter-house sport competition but I never believed, seeing her ran so fast in the inter-house sport of life and death, I believed.

Soon my legs were failing me.

“SB! Seyi bobo! So naso you go take die?” I was already imagined what will be said of me when I rest in peace, in pieces rather; because I was very sure the three dogs would surely pieces my bones.

“And here lies the body of a vibrant soldier, a dogged sailor that sailed through life’s turbulence and was victorious, he fought for love, like Romeo he died for the love of his life, may his gentle soul rest in peace!”

That would be in the event of my demise.

Wherever Tolani ran to I followed knowing women made better decisions in emergencies. Or so I thought.

Holly s’hit! She was running towards her compound, and I could see Bill was so close to me.

I had watched in a movie that a guy was chased by a dog, and once he put off his slippers and continued running bare footed, the dog stopped and was chewing the slippers.

Taking off my slippers shortened the distance from Bill, and I was so tired.

“Lord pls take my hands!” I wept.

I looked forward and saw Tolani was in her compound already, and guess what? She shut the gate. After girls go say men are wicked. Who wicked now?

“Tolani open the gate!” I cried with a loud voice.

I had ten seconds to decide what my next line or action would be lest I died and made hell.

“Jump that fence!” Was a suggestion.

But my mind flashed back to the last time I tried jumping a fence. That was when our ball was fired to Igboh kwenu the igboh dealer’s compound. The same Tolani caused me woo that afternoon. I had decided that since I wasn’t fit in the pitch meaning I was playing rubbish – kind of my-stomach-show-me-where-to-play-to style of football; the kind they play in Swaziland league, I needed to prove to Tolani that I was superman albeit not in the pitch but in fence climbing.

With so much dexterity, I jumped holding the top of the fence with my both hands, then blood rained on me – there were tiny bottles affixed to the top of the fence.

“SB climb enter na” My in-law to be Yemi said; more like he said: “prove to me that you will take good care of my sister when you marry her!”

“aaaaah! Bottle dey the fence! I have died!” Grammar matters not in such situation.

I tried to pull myself up and the bottles pierced deeper reaching my skeletal structure.

“Abeg comot here jor! You no know say that side bottle dey, na here bottle no dey!” Yellow swiftly entered the compound.

“Sorry oh!” Tolani said, “Did it wound you?”

“S’tupid question! No e no wound me, e kiss my hand, you see blood full my hand you dey ask me nonsense question!”





“See that tree for there, jump catch one of the branch!” Another suggestion.

Monkeys climbs tree, but SB climb better is a know fact.

I jumped more than an Olympic high jumper; like I was asked to grab the skies. I held one of the branches and just when I thought at last I had found succor, the branch I held broke and I fell to the ground.

And guess where I fell?

Inside a very deep gutter.

I mean a very very deep gutter.

I was fully clad with pottor-pottor, kelebe, nyama, spit, s’hit, piss, all combined.

The Dogs were up there staring at their prey in another cloth; they wished they could jump in and devour me.

Suddenly like they were called to come eat bones, the Dogs left faster than I imagined.

Then I heard the gate opened and I heard Tolani said “I saw him running behind me towards the compound”

“Then where is he?” That was Yemi’s voice.

“I don’t know!”

kayspark27:
lols,very funny story

Thank you!

ERF:
Nicey. . . All I can say is :


OLiver Twist. ..

Howdy my long lost friend?

You don vote? https://fidelitybank.ng/mytoughjobstory/index.php/ugochukwu/ Just click the love sign at the bottom

Brother Wale located SB the gutter man, carried me home like a baby, bathe me with warm water and laid me to bed. What love for a brother?

Or was he high?

Yes he was high.

“Smoke small na” He offered as I tried catch sleep.

“I don’t want to smoke”

“One day you will have to learn how to smoke, weed is good for the health; it makes a man to be able to perform his duties”

“I don see you wey dey perform duties na?”

The first day I tasted weed, that day I saw why they said the sun rotates round the earth.

I was twelve and four foot tall, brother Wale gave me two wraps of weed to take home for him and as I got home I assured myself I would kill my curiosity that afternoon since no one was at home – Brother Wale had before then told me weed tasted like Vitamin C. And ooh my, I so loved Vitamin C the red one; I still love it.

Since there was no wrapping paper to wrap the weed with, I assured myself paper was paper so I tore a carton I saw in the kitchen.

I painstakingly wrapped the weed and said the Lord’s Prayer as I light the end. How dare you ask me what for? Didn’t your momma teach you to pray before meal?

I crossed my leg as I took the first drag, I coughed. I was feeling like the boss Rick Ross with a cigar; yes the carton was rolled perfectly like I was working in a cigar production company.

“This thing no sweet na!” I said, “e no sweet like Vitamin C na!”

I coughed so hard as I dragged more.

“yeeeh! Mogbe oh! My eye! My eye dey turn me” I tried standing up.

My eyes spun and I was seeing everything in twos, then later on in threes, but what I couldn’t comprehend was why I had five legs – where did the extra three come from?

“Get behind me Satan!” Our Sunday school teacher had told us that whenever we were in tough times we should quote that verse.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil” I tried walking.

“……………………… He maketh me lie down in green pastures” I was lying on the floor.

Then I freed the weed in my hand.

Within a minute or so I saw fire.

“Moses and the burning bush” I said.

“Fire oooh! Fire ooh!” I heard my mum shouted from outside.

“which fire?” I struggled to stand up.

I stood up, took three steps away from the Kerosene container that was on fire, stared at it for a while and said; “The sun is beautiful! Where is the moon?”

“The moon should be in your room” Someone told me.

“You be correct! How you take know?”

“I know na, I do literature, you don forget that book - The moon is above your bed?”

So I staggered to my room.

Standing close to the bed I looked at the ceiling to see the moon.

“But the moon is not here na?” I spoke.

“see it na! Can’t you see it?” My friend told me.

“who are you sef? I said I am not seeing it and you are telling me rubbish, shey na you get the room?”

“No vex na, as you no dey see am, sleep your head don full, just sleep”

And I slept.


I came back to reality from dreamland when water was sprinkled on me by brother Wale.

“ahaaan! What did I do?”

“Will you not go to school today?”

“Me? School? I will not go oh!”

“Why?” He asked.

“No reason sir!” The reason was that Kpobo was my new sit-partner according to Friday’s sit reshuffle.

“That reminds me? Where is the weed I gave you to keep for me?”

“Weed? Me? What is weed?”

“My friend where is the thing I gave to you?” He tapped my head and my brain reset.

“Okay! As I was coming to the house…………………… As I was coming to the house……………”

“eeeeheeen! As you was coming to the house what happened?”

“As I was coming to the house, one of the them fall from my leaking pocket, I still have one here” I dipped my hand into my pocket.

As he collected it, I positioned my head for a great knock but I was surprised seconds later there was none that landed on it.

“The kitchen was on fire yesterday, I would have been glad if you were burnt in the inferno!” He smiled.

“Really? How did you put off the fire?” I asked.

“I peed on it, and it went off” He answered.

“Okay! You should be working in the fire service then!” I said.

“And I should be working in the boys scout for making fire” I almost said.

“Hahahahahaha!” He laughed.

“Brother Wale! Brother Wale!” I hailed.

“that reminds me, you have a letter; a love letter”

brother Flow we want more.

SB high on weed

I swear....have cracked one of my ribs.....

*wipes off tear from eyes*
Oga flow We need more please

Btw,how is ur health nw

girlhaley:
I swear....have cracked one of my ribs.....


*wipes off tear from eyes*

Oga flow
We need more please


Btw,how is ur health nw

Oops,Not for you sire!

Ghost mode deactivated!flow abeg flow on.

viciati:
Ghost mode deactivated!flow abeg flow on.

You are highly welcome!
You don vote? https://fidelitybank.ng/mytoughjobstory/index.php/ugochukwu/

Since I was preparing for WAEC I had no choice but to carry my books to the hangout and read while I fried.

“Brother help me blow fire!” I said.

“okay! Pass me that book”

“Which book?”

“That book na!” He pointed.

“ahaaan! Brother why will you use my mathematics notebook to blow fire? Use your mouth na!”

“I should use my mouth? Common give me the book jor!” He grabbed it.

Wickedness is Brother Wale; an evil genius indeed. I will never ever forget the day he did what Napoleon couldn’t do, he fed me – I mean choked me with food. That was the day I realized too much of everything is not good, and that Brother Wale was the most wicked person on earth; his name should be in Guinness book.

“Brother I am hungry oh!” I complained after returning from school.

“Yes I know you are hungry, I just put beans on fire”

“kai! Before this beans go done, I go don die!” I assured myself, so I headed for Gari the one that saves Nigerians.

I had forgotten Brother Wale hated drinking Gari and he wouldn’t allow me drink. He said drinking Gari meant one was poor, so to prevent poverty he warned that I never drank Gari in his presence no matter how hungry I was.

“Brother this one you are watching cartoon?” I crossed my leg munching Gari.

“abi you no watch am when you dey small?” I saw Tom was chasing Jerry with a Knife.

He was so focused watching that at some point I thought he was watching either Nine O’clock news or his football club Manchester united was playing against say Chelsea.

“Why Brother Wale eye just dey focus for TV?” I asked myself.

“Maybe money dey this Tom and Jerry oh! Abi if person watch am, the person go win money?” Because I was sure Brother Wale was in dire need of money that period of his life.

“Make me sef watch oooh, in case!” I said to myself.

“no cut am! No cut am!” I said as Tom ran closer to Jerry and was about to cut its head.

“Splasssssh!” Tom sliced Jerry’s head into two.

How on earth my cup of Gari poured Brother Wale’s head, I couldn’t comprehend. I turned and saw Brother Wale was Lagbaja and the Gari on his head reminded me of our grand father with gray hair.

“Hahahahahahahahaha!” I laughed

“How dare you pour me Gari on my head?” I saw he wasn’t smiling.

“I’m sorry sir! it was a mistake” I knelt down.

“You……… you are sorry for yourself!” A knock landed on my head.

“aaaahhh! Sorry na!” I cried.

“Come here! How many times will I warn you not to drink Gari in this house?” I took steps backwards.

“Hundred times sir!”

“Hundred times abi, and you are still drinking?”

“I am drinking because I am hungry” He wiped out the Gari on his face leaving the one on his beard and his head, and I swear he looked like Wole Shoyinka.

“you are hungry eeehn! Didn’t I tell you there is beans on fire already?”

“Yes sir! You told me!” I answered.

“So?”

“I am very hungry that is why!” I answered.

“hnnnnn! Hungry man! That means you can finish the beans on fire alone abi?” He paused.

“Yes of course!” I talked without thinking.

“fine! You see that bag of beans in the kitchen, I want you to measure fourteen cups and put it on fire! I mean the other stove”

“Why Brother? Are we expecting visitors?” I cared to know.

“Yes oooh, I am expecting my friends”

“This one na m’umu oh! You are expecting your friends and you are cooking beans for them, shey you no see better food cook?” I cursed within.

Little did I know I would be the one that would end up being the m’umu.

“Brother the two beans don done oh!” I announced two hours later.

“okay! Serve me from the first one, and serve the second one in a big bowl”

“A bowl?”

“Yes a bowl, use that our big bowl that Maami use to urinate in while she was alive”

"Why that bowl?"

“I have put the beans in the bowl and i have covered it, What of my own?” I asked after serving him, “which one will I eat?”

“You see that one in the bowl? Eat it, its yours!” He said, ”And wait…………………………… you must finish it”

“How? How will I finish this thing?”

“Don’t ask me how; I thought you said you are a glutton”

“Glutton? I don’t like super glue oooh” In case he added to the punishment that super glue was to represent stew.

“You must finish it ooh!” He emptied the beans left in the pot into the bowl.

I was eating and I was farting; the farts gave room for more beans to enter my four chambered stomach.

“Brother it is not good ooh! God is watching you ooh!” I complained.

“sssshs! If I hear peeim! I will flog you!” He raised the cane he held.

As I ate, the beans in the bowl increased and my tears on the floor formed River Nile.

“Brother, me I can not finish this food oh!” I felt beans coming out from my nose.

He carried the bowl of beans, and just when I thought I had been saved by the bell; “prrrruuuuuuu!” It was raining beans on me.

That’s not wickedness, this is:



“Don’t worry the fire will come up, lemme use my mouth to blow it” At last he agreed to use his mouth.

“It has comed up” Grammar broken.

“oooooH! My note!” I jumped from where I sat.

My mathematics note was on fire, “water! Water!” I cried.

“water what? I will buy you another note!”

“you will buy me another note, will you help me write the note?” I dipped my right hand into the fire to bring out my half-way-burnt notebook.

“eeeeaaaah! My hand oooh!” My right hand was burning, “water! Water!”

How f’oolish of me to dip my hand into hot oil wishing it was water.

I swear my father I dey enjoy u...two of my teeth don't removed( in SBs voice)

Feed me more abeg

This is just 2 funny i luv it

Despirado121:
This is just 2 funny i luv it

Thanks for loving it!

Thank God i meet up............cant stop laffing,even though i gat exams...........that does not disturb me frm reading this.....i must not carry dis one5unit course

Mathematics exam was the worse of exams in WAEC for me; others were bad; like in English paper I answered just fourteen out of the hundred objective questions, I concentrated on the theory questions and dealt with them, or so I thought.

On the day of mathematics I wrote well I must confess - in dreamland and not in reality.

“SB wetin dey happen na! why you dey sleep like this?”

“Guy I no well! My eye dey turn me” I think the quadratic equations I saw in the question paper spun my eyes and the Simultaneous equations combined with the Pap and beans I ate that morning caused me sleep.

“Young man, Why are you sleeping in the exam hall?” The invigilator asked.

“sir I think I am not feeling fine”

“Then go to the hospital!”

“m’umu! Make I go hospital leave exam wey I dey right abi?” I cursed within.

“SB! SB! Copy from my work!” Yemi changed sit and was sitting close to me.

I was writing and was sweating profusely, I wrote to a point that I couldn’t comprehend what I was to write next.

“Yemi I no dey see this equation wey you write here oh”

“which one?”

“this one na!” I pointed.

“hahahahahahahah! SB! SB!”

“why you dey laugh na?”

“That thing wey you dey call equation na my name na!” I cleared my eyes and saw that what I was about writing was “Yemi Morebeshe” His name written at the top of the page.

“Guy your handwriting na war oh!”

“You! Both of you stand up! Why are you talking in the exam?” I never saw the principal entered.

“Sir I was not talking oh, I just asked him to borrow me pencil” I lied.

“You asked him to borrow you pencil abi?”

“come with me!”

“Who? Me or him?”

“Yes you!”

“Sir where are we going to na?” I almost said.

“Permit me Mr. Invigilator, this young man is going to write the rest of this paper in my office, he is too stubborn, you can come and check on him from time to time!” The principal requested.

“No problem sir!”

“ooohh! God! I don roast be that oh! Yemi for no come show me work oh! He for leave me make I dey sleep my thing oooh!”

“Mtschwwww!” I hissed.

“did you just hiss?” The principal turned as we walked to his office.

“Me hissed? I dey craze? I was just singing!”

“what kind of song were you singing?” The kind of Principal Mr. Eze was was the kind that needed to know even what the content of your bowel was.

“Gospel song!” I answered.

“Gospel song! Sang by who?” He asked.

“Sang by Timaya!” I answered.

“haaaaa! Is Timaya a gospel musician?”

“Yes he is!”



The morbid fragrance the principal’s office offered made me drew a conclusion that I had failed Mathematics already. But as I sat to write, an idea cropped in, “You know say you fit see maths textbook here?”

“na true oh!”

“Did I tell you to sit down?”

“Yes sir………………………… I mean No sir!” I stammered.

“That’s not where you will sit writing this exam; you will be in my inner chamber”

He locked the door to his main office ushering me to the "inner chambers".

“sit down!” He offered.

“Sit where sir?”

“Sit on the bed”

In the history of mankind it has never being heard that anyone wrote an external exam sitting on a bed save SB. I was about to break history.

“Write on this table!” He brought a plastic table.

“Thank you sir”

“I will put on the AC for you so you will be very comfortable” He put on the Air conditioner.

“Thank you sir!”

“And before I forgot you said you don’t have a pencil” He was about leaving, “take this one!”

The environment was cozy yet there was nothing “upstairs” to write.

“Wetin this man dey use bed do for him office sef? Abi him dey use am dey arrange all this SS3 girls” That was the obvious.

“Fifteen minutes more!” The invigilators' voice was loud enough.

Ten minutes of writing r’ubbish and I was in dreamland lying on the principal’s succulent bed; it was really soft compared to the stone we had at home we called bed.

In the dream Brother Wale was by my side helping me solve the mathematics problems, and later on helping the whole students in the hall write.

After the exam, i walked home with Yemi happily........................

"Yemi all of us don............"

...............“My friend what are you doing lying on my bed!!!?” A sound slap on my head chased me to reality.

"................ Yemi all of us don pass oh!" I thought I was still dreaming.

"The only pass you need to pass now is to pass your paper, Time up!"

nobletitus:
Thank God i meet up............cant stop laffing,even though i gat exams...........that does not disturb me frm reading this.....i must not carry dis one5unit course

You no go carry over, say amen!

But do me a favour? help me win this competition. You vote for me but clicking the the link bellow, after which you click the "love sign" at the bottom of the page. Thats all. Thank.
PS: Tell your course mates, spread the word. God bless you.

Here is the link: https://fidelitybank.ng/mytoughjobstory/index.php/ugochukwu/

This damn funny

Ride on bro

s.b mumu sha.lol

“Brother I want to ask you a question oh!” It was a very cold night at the hangout.

“I hope its not a s’tupid question? Because you always ask s’tupid questions”

“No brother its not a s’tupid question, it’s a wise one this time around”

“Okay go ahead and ask, am all ears” And indeed he brought his ear close to me.

“why you no go all ears when your ear na Laba-laba”

Brother Wale’s ear is a characteristic of what we Yorubas call “Eti ewe” meaning leaf ear. Funny enough Eti ewe was his nickname while he was in secondary school. I remember some of his secondary school friends reminiscing school days and how Brother Wale got the nickname Eti ewe.

While I eavesdropped, this conversation ensued:

Legedez Benz: Eti ewe! Eti ewe, this your ear dey long everyday ooh.

Emeka: I dey tell you, the size of the antenna dey increase everyday.

Legedez Benz: Guy you remember that time for SS1 na! wey them tell Eti ewe make him clean black board with him ear.

Koffi: No be small thing oh! Mr. Yale na wicked man oh! How him go say make Eti ewe use him ear as duster? hahahahaha!

Brother Wale(Eti ewe): Abi I don warn una make una no dey call me Eti Ewe? Una no dey hear.

Legedez Benz: Shut up abeg! You wey dey call me Legedez Benz nkor?

Brother Wale: hahahahaha! LB! LB! You still dey trek? Make I see your shoe sole na!

Koffi: Guy! But LB you trek that year oh! You be world trekker! You dey trek and your sole go dey cry! Hahahahahaha!

SB: Hahahahaha! Legedez Benz.





“Go ahead I am listening!” I felt like kissing his ear.

“don’t vex for this question I want to ask you oh!”

“I will not as far as it is a reasonable question”

“Okay! The question I want to ask you is that why have you no gotten a job yet, why?”

“Well, that’s a very good question, I have not gotten a job because most of the companies I go to for interviews say I am too qualified, that they can’t pay me”

“Is that true? You are too qualified or you are too dull to pass the interviews?” My mouth was s'tupid.

“Shut up! Are you mad? Don’t you have respect for me again?” He knocked my head.

“I am sorry na, I was just wondering!”

“Mr. Wonderer! How is my not getting a job any of your business?”

“Because I love you!” These words melted his stony heart.

“Really!”

“Yes! I care about you brother!”

“aaaw! Thank you for caring about me, don’t worry I will get a job soon!” He smiled, and I was sure I will be eating two pieces of meat that night.


All of a sudden………………………………… “Wale! Wale!” Someone yelled.

“Who is that?” We both turned at the same time.

“Wale! Where my money?” It was Brother Luku the heavy weight champion, not he alone; Skill, Bill and Trill were with him.

“Money! Which money?”

“So you dey pretend like say you no know wetin I dey talk abi?”

“What money are you talking of na?”

“Where the balance of my money for the generator wey I give you?”

“Ahhaaan! I thought we agreed that I should pay twelve thousand naira, and I have done that, so I don’t owe you”

“That one wey you dey speak na English! Pay me my remaining 3k or I burst this bottle for your head!” Brother Luku was dead serious.

“hahahahahaha! You can’t do nothing!” Brother Wale laughed.

Next I saw was that Brother Luku was speaking to the bottle he held. Speaking what? I don't know! But I was sure it wasn't Yoruba.

And next I saw was;”braaaaaawww!”

Brother Wale’s head had been broken; he was bleeding and within seconds he was lying on the pool of his own blood.

“aaaaah! Brother Wale don die oh!” I cried with the loudest of my voice.

“Close your mouth there or I tell my dog make them chop you!”

“Brother Wale! Aaaaaah! shabarabashabaearabtada” I spoke Swahili and farted. Fart under duress I suppose. Legend has it that farting under duress gave one the strength to fight.

“I say make you shut up!” Brother, I mean Murderer Luku yelled.

“I no go shut up! You have killed my brother because of three thousand naira” I carried a big stick.

“eheeen! If I kill am nkor? Wetin you fit do?”

“Wetin I fit do be say I wan fight you!” Thank God there was no customer seated.

“you wan fight me?” Like he was about releasing the dogs he held, ”If you wan fight me, you go first fight my dog them”

“Love me, love my dogs” They say, “Hate Luku, hate his dogs” was it for me at that point.

As the three dogs hurried towards me my fury grew stronger, I wasn’t scared at all; they was this inner strength in me – maybe I was housing the strength of Brother Wale as well as mine, or maybe not.

I picked a stick from the fire place and “vooowm! Voowm!” I struck hard on Skill. Trill’s was a very heavy kick from me, and then swiftly the burning stick was slammed on its head twice. As for F’oolish Bill, it landed on hot oil on its own accord and was struggling to come out barking his life out.

Then I hit Skill three times on its head as it took its last breath; I had hunted Okon good meat. Suddenly, Bill came out of the hot oil and headed towards me,”vaaaaawmn!” It received burnt offering.

Luku saw my eyes spelt death, I was gonna kill him for killing Brother Wale, then he ran and I chased after him like Cheetah.

“Mogbe oh!” Luku the strongest in the community was chased by SB the weakest, how tables turn.


I looked back for a while and saw Trill was after me barking.

Uthman51:
I swear my father I dey enjoy u...two of my teeth don't removed( in SBs voice)

When you get another? Shea you wan my send Onemansquad to you?

lmao

Pls don't kill me with laughter

Carry on.....bro

lmao

Pls don't kill me with laughter

Carry on.....bro

I luv dis tori die. U're d bst joor. Carry on d boss

stuff46:


When you get another? Shea you wan my send Onemansquad to you?

where u hide since old man

Uthman51:

where u hide since old manfather

Make people no hear am o. Me still young. I de low key