₦airaland Forum

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

Now that 2016 is here, or more precisely, January 1, according to what I was told, the sun shines differently, and people shout coherently. I was also drugged into believing that every January 1 is a time of Reformation, especially of battle plans. Coincidentally, I was also told that every January 18 marks a new year for my proud self. See, I'm not ready to entertain confusion with unnecessary drinks, so I'll just stick to January 1. I know I've not been good but I ain't that bad you know? After careful observation and evaluation, I came up with these fantastic resolutions which will be the watchtower of my new year.

According to my Pastor, he mentioned a lot about this year that I felt any child born this year must have been created and endorsed by God himself, not just an Angel. For that, I have decided to adjust my life accordingly. Please read with me.

CLOTHING
1. Henceforth, I shall no longer slimfit my clothes. This year, is my year of DIVINE ENLARGEMENT, which is why I have decided to wear more loose fitting clothes than tight ones. I'm not ready to jeopardize my enlargement here just because I followed the slimfit-clothe-wearing generation. "When God is ready to enlarge me, I don't want my clothes standing in the way."

2. I will wear more of flip-flops than trekkers or other heavyweight shoes. Since this year promises to be my year of DIVINE UPLIFTMENT, I have decided to wear light weight shoes to hasten that. I believe the angels will be happy knowing they have lesser weights to carry. No devil in the form of shoes will stop or bog me this new year.

3. I promise to wear 3 different perfumes. Yes 3, and 6 shades of deodorants in preparation for a year of DIVINE ENCOUNTER. To think that I may be visited by angels this year, I need to start smelling nice.

FOOD
4. I promise to eat less this new year, which is why I've gone through the trouble to creating a new menu. New year, new menu.
For breakfast; I ll take only cereals laced with sugar, milk and chocolates, taken but not limited with cupcakes, snacks, and popcorn.
For lunch; I'll take only 10 handfuls of solids, with specially prepared delicacy, drowned with only a pack of fruit juice.
For dinner; I will eat only chicken ribs, breast and hinds. I'll also manage 2 plates of rice, with different flavours for each night.

LIFESTYLE
5. I promise to laugh more in this new year. I don't know how many muscles I have in there, but it will be good to exercise those mouth muscles ahead of speeches and testimonies I'll have to give this new year.

6. I promise to forget and put the past behind me. This includes forgetting everyone I owe in cash and kind. Its a new year. I've carefully written out the names of those who owe me, so my sudden new year amnesia won't make me a victim.

7. I promise to stop visiting our family house. See, a prophet is of no value in his own house. I don't want unnecessary arrow attacks in the new year.

8. I promise to hang more with girls than guys. Doctor says too much guys is not good for my blood pressure.

9. I promise...

You keep reading and reading, haba. Olofofo, its enough!
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Add yours.

#Altarboy refurbished! Lol

cc. Lalasticlala

Lol I promise,i promise, I promise. Hope u can keep it 2 d end

njiasi30:
Lol I promise,i promise, I promise. Hope u can keep it 2 d end

I will

penplayer:
I will

God is ur strength.

Hey BRO,,hw av u bin?m also a ladokite,,would really love 2 meet,,,mind dropping ur digit?

temmytope1992:
Hey BRO,,hw av u bin?m also a ladokite,,would really love 2 meet,,,mind dropping ur digit?

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