₦airaland Forum

Specialbaby:
ok,i respect your stand and i really hope you will do as you just said if face with such!!




But then again,ask yourself,will you ever trust your wife again even after forgiving her? TRUST is very delicate,onces broken,it very hard to regain,what is marriage without trust?

I guess it is that trust issue that usually breings the heartache. The bible says we should trusty no one even the one that lies in our bossom.
Micah 7:5 ►Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.

Yes it is good to say "i trust him or her" but in the real sense i will never trsust any lady no matter how perefect she may seem to be.

This is the vest way to be on guard so that if any crazy thing happens,you are emotionally,psychologically,mentally and even physically prepared so you just shrug it off.

That is the way to go.

Toks2008:
I guess it is that trust issue that usually breings the heartache. The bible says we should trusty no one even the one that lies in our bossom.
Micah 7:5 ►Do not trust a neighbor; put no confidence in a friend. Even with the woman who lies in your embrace guard the words of your lips.

Yes it is good to say "i trust him or her" but in the real sense i will never trsust any lady no matter how perefect she may seem to be.

This is the vest way to be on guard so that if any crazy thing happens,you are emotionally,psychologically,mentally and even physically prepared so you just shrug it off.

That is the way to go.

well,i have my own conviction but i will let go to avoid derailing this educative thread!



Goodnight mr Toks2008

Specialbaby:
well,i have my own conviction but i will let go to avoid derailing this educative thread!



Goodnight mr Toks2008

Morning sis.ok then..do have a splendid sunday.

Greene66:
Of course not. A man own the woman. The woman is his prop.

Heiya, i feel so sad 4 ur spouse.
i dnt knw y nigerians mostly feel that dowry z buying a lady or wot. mata of fact a day old male bby is 1.2million n a bby girl z 1 million. if u doubt go n mk enquiries in certified motherless homes. so how much mre will a grown up lady cost. this n some oda reasons y in my family dowry z nt mre than 1 thousand

Greene66:
Of course not. A man own the woman. The woman is his prop.

No one owns anyone.

The bible says the man is the head(Not totally superior) to the woman but because he is the head which signifies a higher authority,this does not mean the woman is owned by him.

Greene66:
Total nonsense.

An adulterous wife should be divorced and even ****

Yes!

An unrepentant one YES.

A man who quickly divorces an adulterous wife without giving her a second chance never really loved the woman.

nikkypearl:
Nice writeup ... But unfortunately,even couples with the best intentions still end up in divorce court!Divorce is suppose to be a last ditch decision for Troubled marriage..

Tthe fact is that once you begin to appreciate a reality different from your own,then you are on the way to de_escalating conflict and finding solutions

If you check very well,they were not really having the best intentions.

What happens to a couple after some time together is very normal...the affair becomes so boring and they just find the other person so tiring to be with.

At that point they become very vulnerable and a little spark from an external force will culminate into a false crescendo of feelings which i term initial gragra and many may not realize this until they have divorced their present spouse to be with the new person.

So honestly most times,breakups in affairs whether marriage or courtship is simply borne out of the inquisitive feeling of wanting to be with someone new and if we do not learn how to curb this flimsy feeling,we may never ever be able to stay put in one affair.

Specialbaby:
this is just crazy,a man own which woman??

Lol.are u surprised,d niccur has probs..read his thread and posts.his an egoistic chauvenistic guy

Greene66:
Give me just 1 reason, why a wife is not owned by husband

Give me one reason why a wife is owned by the husband. And don't mention bride price cos bride price is an inconsequential sum in most places. And don't say cos the bible said that men are the head. That would be tantamount to saying that buhari owns each and every one of us cos he's the head/president. See how stupid that logic is? So um waiting for one reason

Lalasticlala i believe this is educative.

Tell Dat to Sanusi nd Buhari

Why did 9ice divorce Tony Payne if he later confessed that she wasn't even cheating on him?


Why did Kenny St Brown divorce Eddy Montana?

Why did Charlyboy divorce his 4 wives?



Why did Uti 'divorce' Alex Ekubor (I support this one).
God save us.

If women can pray for God's blessings upon their unrepentant adulterous husbands and can help cover up their sins before relatives and friends, why can't men do same?


Thank God it's not men that bear children, the world would have been full of bastards.

OP is most definitely not married.

Irreconcilable difference is an excellent catch all reason for divorce.

Op, you forgot to add. INLAWS & BAD FRIENDS,!

Toks2008:
I am not married but if i am and my wife cheats on me and she is repentant i will forgive her for real.

What sense will it make for me to drive my wife away to another man's hands? and what is the likelihood that the next woman will be that chaste?
This is one fact many guys dont know.

As for the quoted verse please reead again and you will see my points.

Na today

Greene66:
Of course not. A man own the woman. The woman is his prop.

Oga stop deceiving urself, DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO TO YOU..
shikena!!!

Greene66:
Of course not. A man own the woman. The woman is his prop.

Sick man detected. This is why Africa will not advance until this kind of evil mindset is corrected. So u mean a man can commit adultery but a woman should not? Outright nonsense. Adultery is both wrong for both men and women. It is infidelity

Joy1706:
Give me one reason why a wife is owned by the husband. And don't mention bride price cos bride price is an inconsequential sum in most places. And don't say cos the bible said that men are the head. That would be tantamount to saying that buhari owns each and every one of us cos he's the head/president. See how stupid that logic is? So um waiting for one reason

Because she bares his name
Meaning he is her property. Lol

I once heard a story about one man who wanted to divorce his wife, these two people were suffering, they use to live inside one room like a shop, they sleep there at night and wake up the next morning n convert the room to a shop.the wife committed adultery inside that shop just because she needed money to help the husband.the husband caught her and asked for a divorce.But a prophet told the man that God said he shouldn't divorce the wife, that if he should forgive her he ll open new doors and bring him out of poverty.Well the man believed n forgave the wife.3months after God visited the man.God sent an helper to him and changed his story for good.the man n his wife reside in US now.they have spent 25years in the US now.God hate divorce.

Your write up seems to make sense to singles. Not here to contradict but like the engineers say...'Preparing a job in the office and the actual execution of the job are two different views'. Only the married ones can vet this.

Toks2008:
[size=14pt]Malachi 2:16:“For I hate divorce!”says the Lord, the God of Israel.[/size]

"I want a divorce" is a word that tend to be common when it seems one of the two married couple wants to opt out of an affair and it has become a regular lyrics in many homes but the question i tend to ask is this: Is divorce always the solution?

Today i want us to look at 8 lies and propaganda surrounding these words:

[size=13pt]1.Irreconcilable differences[/size]: This is the funniest excuse ever because most of what people complain about have always been there but because they believed he or she will change,they went into the marriage just to get disappointed when the person refuses to change.

As long as you are two different entities,there will always be.Even twins from the same womb has differences.The problem is that when a couple decides to have a deaf and dumb affair,irreconcilable differences will never be reconciled but if you can learn to be very observant even before you say i do,i guess most irreconcilable differences would have been resolved. If you like change spouse a million times,there will always be irreconcilable differences and until you learn the act of tolerance i guess you should just stay clear from marriage.

[size=13pt]2.Infidelity: [/size]I know many people will wonder if there is a lie about this but what you are about to read will shock you/

As a man i really don't see any need to divorce a "repentant" wife who commits the act of adultery especially a woman you love because of what use will it be if you divorce her against all odds and you bring in another woman who might even be worse than her and does it make sense to push a woman you love away into the waiting hands of an irresponsible randy man? Yes Jesus instructs that a man divorces his wife on teh condition of adultery but he also preached about forgiveness.The act of sex is not all there is to marriage so i guess guys should just give the wife another chance and only divorce an unrepentant adulteress.

As a lady i am happy to be the one to tell you that there is no where in the bible that suggests that a wife divorce her husband because of adultery. Yes many bible scholars have accepted that the Bible is not gender specific and wherever "he" is mentioned,it also refers to she but definitely not in this case and i want us to read together right from the start of Jesus speech.

Matthew 19:8

"8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

[size=13pt]3.Ill luck: [/size] Some men can be so myopic. Yes we know this is a dark continent where crazy spells are casted on some men but most times,men are the architect of their own failure and they readily put the blame on the wife as the one responsible for their bad luck especially when the man seems to be doing so well before meeting the lady. This is indeed a very funny mindset and men should stop this odoriferous act. Even if you marry a witch or ogbanje,love and cherish her and she will use those powers to help you rather than destroy you.

[size=13pt]4.Family troubles: [/size] I have heard of many divorce cases because of this and i kept asking why will a amn or woman use this as an excuse for divorce? In any marriage it is you and your spouse before anything and as long as both of you are good, every other factor remains secondary.

[size=13pt]5.Interference by spiritualists: [/size] Any one who tries to divorce a spouse because one pastor said they are not meant for each other,such person should be sent to evil forest to be eaten by wild animals.Some ladies have fallen prey to many false prophets,imams and pastors in the name of seeking spiritual help where they are told rubbish about their spouse and they just believe like fools. They will suddenly tell you your wife is a witch or your hubby is evil and before you know it,they are done just to remarry and experience real evil marriage.

[size=13pt]6.Childlessness[/size]:This is a very unfortunate one that has destroyed many marriages but the truth is that this is no longer a biggy in today's world but you should rather explore many options available and pray for finance or solicit for funds if needs be so that you can have a successful assisted conception rather than try another partner out of frustration and risking being the father of another man's child or the lady having an embarrassing child outside her marriage.With prayers and decisive steps by you,a child will definitely come in no time.

[size=13pt]7.Finance[/size]:This is one big issue that has destroyed many homes and will destroy even more. Many ladies put money first before true affection and if the money is no more,apparently they have no need staying in the marriage anymore. And some go into marriage with high expectation that the man will make a headway within an expected period of time and as time passes and this expectation is not met,the lady becomes so frustrated and starts to hate the man and start comparing him with his rich mates even when he is so loving and caring. This has made me conclude that the best thing any lady can do to avoid this possible frustration is to love a man in a condition that will not frustrate her in years to come even if the man does not get better and they should also strive to be financially independent but pray for a better situation and not just marry a rich man or a struggling man with a die hard hope that he will make it big in no time.

[size=13pt]8.Domestic violence[/size]:In my world,this is the only logical reason for divorce because i will never advice a lady or a man to stay in a marriage that may send him or her to an untimely death but let us wait a sec and ask this frank question:"Is domestic violence preventable"?in most cases the answer is an emphatic YES. Ladies are more at the receiving end but If every lady can learn to be very very calm and silent during any form of crazy argument by the man,i believe the case of domestic violence will not come up.Some women can make an angel beat them up with their parrot mouth but nevertheless no man should raise his hands to beat a woman except he is a beast that deserves to be in the jungle.

I believe that in most cases when people opt for a divorce,they are actually looking for flimsy excuses to be with a new partner but after a period of time with the new partner, they tend to realize that there will always be a reason to divorce anyone we have in our lives no matter how perfect they seem to be at the begining.

For people who insist on divorce i always wonder that If you can't make your first marriage work then what is the assurance that you will maintain the second one if same problem crops up? Staying married to one partner is not about feelings but a conscious decision we must make.


Hope this epistle makes sense.

Toks2008:
An unrepentant one YES.

A man who quickly divorces an adulterous wife without giving her a second chance never really loved the woman.

For once I agree with you.
I know of two Nigerians men that has got evidence of their wife cheating and forgave them as long as they give up the cheating relationship.
But na the second one one pain me pass, this man is fond of breaking marriages with his ill thought out advices and here is he caught up in the same issue and he back tracked. He was even the one begging the wife to stop and give up cheating and he will forgive her and they will work on their marriage. Please I don't support cheating of any kind but the idiot man refused to practice what he preaches , just like those bad belle women that will advise their fellow women to leave their marriage over issues less that what they themselves is facing. My own is advise is to listen to your heart, not on what people says do. Follow your heart period.

nonsense if my wife cheat she will leave my house nonsense if my wife cheat she will leave my house

KingCheezyPuff:
A question I have
Should a adulterous husband be killed also

.
though I'm still single, nobody is worthy to kill another because you aren't the creator, but the law may in order to moderate the society. however, I can forgive a woman who cheats but won't forget such anytime I behold her, therefore, if such is my wife....the solution is divorce without any attempt of review. I hate and dislike adultery with every thing I have.

That infidelity matter no pure o...well,it is easier said than done.even wen person catch anoda man day service him wife un top dia matrimonial bed??God forbid!

i see hypocrisy as when a sibling or friend commits adultery and you go along to beg the spouse to forgive and refusing to do same in your own case. toks2008, the common usage of irreconcilable differences is when it's mutual or a secret is involved.

9) Medical incompatibility

Toks2008:
[size=14pt]Malachi 2:16:“For I hate divorce!”says the Lord, the God of Israel.[/size]

"I want a divorce" is a word that tend to be common when it seems one of the two married couple wants to opt out of an affair and it has become a regular lyrics in many homes but the question i tend to ask is this: Is divorce always the solution?

Today i want us to look at 8 lies and propaganda surrounding these words:

[size=13pt]1.Irreconcilable differences[/size]: This is the funniest excuse ever because most of what people complain about have always been there but because they believed he or she will change,they went into the marriage just to get disappointed when the person refuses to change.

As long as you are two different entities,there will always be.Even twins from the same womb has differences.The problem is that when a couple decides to have a deaf and dumb affair,irreconcilable differences will never be reconciled but if you can learn to be very observant even before you say i do,i guess most irreconcilable differences would have been resolved. If you like change spouse a million times,there will always be irreconcilable differences and until you learn the act of tolerance i guess you should just stay clear from marriage.

[size=13pt]2.Infidelity: [/size]I know many people will wonder if there is a lie about this but what you are about to read will shock you/

As a man i really don't see any need to divorce a "repentant" wife who commits the act of adultery especially a woman you love because of what use will it be if you divorce her against all odds and you bring in another woman who might even be worse than her and does it make sense to push a woman you love away into the waiting hands of an irresponsible randy man? Yes Jesus instructs that a man divorces his wife on teh condition of adultery but he also preached about forgiveness.The act of sex is not all there is to marriage so i guess guys should just give the wife another chance and only divorce an unrepentant adulteress.

As a lady i am happy to be the one to tell you that there is no where in the bible that suggests that a wife divorce her husband because of adultery. Yes many bible scholars have accepted that the Bible is not gender specific and wherever "he" is mentioned,it also refers to she but definitely not in this case and i want us to read together right from the start of Jesus speech.

Matthew 19:8

"8He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

[size=13pt]3.Ill luck: [/size] Some men can be so myopic. Yes we know this is a dark continent where crazy spells are casted on some men but most times,men are the architect of their own failure and they readily put the blame on the wife as the one responsible for their bad luck especially when the man seems to be doing so well before meeting the lady. This is indeed a very funny mindset and men should stop this odoriferous act. Even if you marry a witch or ogbanje,love and cherish her and she will use those powers to help you rather than destroy you.

[size=13pt]4.Family troubles: [/size] I have heard of many divorce cases because of this and i kept asking why will a amn or woman use this as an excuse for divorce? In any marriage it is you and your spouse before anything and as long as both of you are good, every other factor remains secondary.

[size=13pt]5.Interference by spiritualists: [/size] Any one who tries to divorce a spouse because one pastor said they are not meant for each other,such person should be sent to evil forest to be eaten by wild animals.Some ladies have fallen prey to many false prophets,imams and pastors in the name of seeking spiritual help where they are told rubbish about their spouse and they just believe like fools. They will suddenly tell you your wife is a witch or your hubby is evil and before you know it,they are done just to remarry and experience real evil marriage.

[size=13pt]6.Childlessness[/size]:This is a very unfortunate one that has destroyed many marriages but the truth is that this is no longer a biggy in today's world but you should rather explore many options available and pray for finance or solicit for funds if needs be so that you can have a successful assisted conception rather than try another partner out of frustration and risking being the father of another man's child or the lady having an embarrassing child outside her marriage.With prayers and decisive steps by you,a child will definitely come in no time.

[size=13pt]7.Finance[/size]:This is one big issue that has destroyed many homes and will destroy even more. Many ladies put money first before true affection and if the money is no more,apparently they have no need staying in the marriage anymore. And some go into marriage with high expectation that the man will make a headway within an expected period of time and as time passes and this expectation is not met,the lady becomes so frustrated and starts to hate the man and start comparing him with his rich mates even when he is so loving and caring. This has made me conclude that the best thing any lady can do to avoid this possible frustration is to love a man in a condition that will not frustrate her in years to come even if the man does not get better and they should also strive to be financially independent but pray for a better situation and not just marry a rich man or a struggling man with a die hard hope that he will make it big in no time.

[size=13pt]8.Domestic violence[/size]:In my world,this is the only logical reason for divorce because i will never advice a lady or a man to stay in a marriage that may send him or her to an untimely death but let us wait a sec and ask this frank question:"Is domestic violence preventable"?in most cases the answer is an emphatic YES. Ladies are more at the receiving end but If every lady can learn to be very very calm and silent during any form of crazy argument by the man,i believe the case of domestic violence will not come up.Some women can make an angel beat them up with their parrot mouth but nevertheless no man should raise his hands to beat a woman except he is a beast that deserves to be in the jungle.

I believe that in most cases when people opt for a divorce,they are actually looking for flimsy excuses to be with a new partner but after a period of time with the new partner, they tend to realize that there will always be a reason to divorce anyone we have in our lives no matter how perfect they seem to be at the begining.

For people who insist on divorce i always wonder that If you can't make your first marriage work then what is the assurance that you will maintain the second one if same problem crops up? Staying married to one partner is not about feelings but a conscious decision we must make.


Hope this epistle makes sense.

E be like say Toks don de get sense small small. Dis na the first post wey e go write wey i no go get too much to disagree with except number 7 "FINANCES". All over the world, finance is the number one reason couples divorce. Being financially responsible is key to a happy marriage. I had to learn that quickly early on in life. You need to be able to manage you funds maturedly and have a nice nest for the future. It is advisable for couples to see a financial planner as soon as they can.

I have always said I will suffer with a man but if he becomes the reason for my suffering I will leave him,two things I will never advice any woman to put up with in a marriage,
1) a serial cheat,from experience, these type of men don't change,you will suffer emotionally thats if he doesn't bring you disease like a distant relative,I can forgive a man who cheats by mistake, but when it becomes a habit,it's goodbye
2)a wife beater,there is no repentance in the grave, no amount of tears can bring back a dead person,most wife beater are repentant after the deed and they even make it look like it's your fault for being beaten,run while you still have breath in you
on this grounds,I will gladly advice any woman to divorce her husband

if we are to follow the steps in that statement jesus made in regard to moses' permission for divorce the man who instigates divorce should accept he has hardness in his heart. i do believe in caution in cases of STDs but there is no sin higher.

Greene66:
Give me just 1 reason, why a wife is not owned by husband

she can separate from the husband any time she wants because is her choice is that good enough reason

It doesn't make sense.