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Help A Jealous Wife - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland ForumNairaland GeneralFamilyHelp A Jealous Wife (6692 Views)

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Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ:
ramuona:
My issue is that I'm naturally jealous. Why do business with her? Since September last year.. Business I have not seen.. Or heard the business name. He can do business but not talking and chatting all the time. If I'm talking to him he will be busy chatting with her.... If I come close he hides his phone.
My issue is not self esteem... My issue is that I'm jealous they talk all the time + laughing too (to my hearing .. Even in mid night. She calls him
there are few issues here:
- you are jealous, well this is a problem with YOU, and therefore YOU need to find mature ways to change in order to live a fruitful life. your husband will have to smile and laugh with women in his life, whether you can take it or not. expecting others to change, and subsequently act inadequately, in order to accommodate you and your unhealthy way of life, is not only UNFAIR to your partner, but also WRONG towards the wellbeing of your family, in so many ways.

- why do business with her, are you insinuating that because she is his ex, he should never do business with her, even if it is beneficial to your family's wellbeing? with such mindset, your family can never "win" and find peace.

- you are suspicious that something is fishy, well sit this man down and communicate openly about your worries, and find a healthy mature solution (asking him to never talk to her again is NOT one of them). if it is indeed business dealings, he shouldnt have any reason to hide anything from you, and could explain the late calls... but then again, if he knows that you are the jealous type which takes everything out of proportion, then no wonder he doesnt want to show you his phone. the important part is that you have to trade carefully here and try to come to some form of amicable understanding between the two of you, instead of a clash that would have him not talking to you.
btw smiling to a business partner is normal, unless you expect him to fight with partners?
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 6:18am On Mar 22, 2016
ramuona:
My issue is that I'm naturally jealous. Why do business with her? Since September last year.. Business I have not seen.. Or heard the business name. He can do business but not talking and chatting all the time. If I'm talking to him he will be busy chatting with her.... If I come close he hides his phone.
My issue is not self esteem... My issue is that I'm jealous they talk all the time + laughing too (to my hearing .. Even in mid night. She calls him
Wow , how are you still calm? Do you have any blood in ur vein?! Any self respect!?? If my husband's ex called him at midnight and he answers in front of me!! huh well I would deal with him and her. U need to talk to him now and be serious about it! Does he care about ur feelings at all? Ur pride? I Pity you oo
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 6:26am On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Wow , how are you still calm? Do you have any blood in ur vein?! Any self respect!?? If my husband's ex called him at midnight and he answers in front of me!! huh well I would deal with him and her. U need to talk to him now and be serious about it! Does he care about ur feelings at all? Ur pride? I Pity you oo
cheesy. cheesy cheesy cheesy
Some of us no get small chill at all
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Souljaboi1: 6:43am On Mar 22, 2016
Dyt:
Haaaa
Since September
My dear

Wonti gbe nkan gba eyin e
Dem don dey carry something behind you
Mogbe modaran
grin grin


Dyt:
.
These men are just polygamous in nature
Hianus
Meji, Meta tabi Merin ni Olohun so. wink
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 6:45am On Mar 22, 2016
Souljaboi1:
grin grin




Meji, Meta tabi Merin ni Olohun so. wink
Ehn na
I rem someone said this to me some days back
angry angry angry angry angry
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Souljaboi1: 6:48am On Mar 22, 2016
Dyt:
Ehn na
I rem someone said this to me some days back
angry angry angry angry angry
wink cheesy wink cheesy

Its all good. Take a chill pill. Second wifey is loading real soon. grin
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MrCork: 8:18am On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Wow , how are you still calm? Do you have any blood in ur vein?! Any self respect!?? If my husband's ex called him at midnight and he answers in front of me!! huh well I would deal with him and her. U need to talk to him now and be serious about it! Does he care about ur feelings at all? Ur pride? I Pity you oo
angry
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 8:24am On Mar 22, 2016
Souljaboi1:
wink cheesy wink cheesy

Its all good. Take a chill pill. Second wifey is loading real soon. grin
undecided undecided undecided undecided

I bet he won't feel bad if I decide to try another too
tongue
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 8:43am On Mar 22, 2016
MrCork:
angry
You've got issues, please get off my tail.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MrCork: 9:09am On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
You've got issues, please get off my tail.
^^^^angry black woman (WHAT A CULTURAL SHAME) undecided
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 9:14am On Mar 22, 2016
MrCork:
angry
Whose the one angry set off to ruin people's day as a job , u are a miserable and a sadistic being with no hope.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MrCork: 9:32am On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Whose the one angry set off to ruin people's day as a job , u are a miserable and a sadistic being with no hope.
...Sarinna..be nice...village girl!! angry
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 10:04am On Mar 22, 2016
Did the OPs husband find out?
She deactivated?
Na wa o
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Chidoks(f): 2:02pm On Mar 22, 2016
My issue is that I'm naturally jealous. Why do business with her? Since September last year.. Business I have not seen.. Or heard the business name. He can do business but not talking and chatting all the time. If I'm talking to him he will be busy chatting with her.... If I come close he hides his phone.
My issue is not self esteem... My issue is that I'm jealous they talk all the time + laughing too (to my hearing .. Even in mid night. She calls him
Now, he's cheating on you. She calls mid night? Why don't you pick the calls? Make sure you're close when she calls. Whenever they start talking, suspend everything you're doing and go do something near him, on him or with him. Neck him, tickle him, fumble with his trousers or boxers. What nonsense!!!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Chidoks(f): 2:17pm On Mar 22, 2016
Siena:
[color=Blue]I don't understand what the issue is here. Your husband still has contact with his ex, you say you trust him, you say you're jealous. Huh?

I am still on good terms with my ex, we still maintain contact, big deal! I have never hidden this from my wife either. My wife still chats with her ex on occasion, I have no issues with this. I trust my wife, she trusts me. If she ever told me to cut off all contact with my ex, then we WOULD have a problem. Because I would NOT do that on her say-so.

My advise? Start trusting your man, or be prepared for resentment to set in, and risk losing him.[/color]
Sir, please kindly listen to her again.
The ex calls midnight.
The ex calls always
They chat and laugh for long
When she comes near, network becomes bad thus he goes outside for better reception.
How could any one laugh and chat with an ex continuously over months and folks are still talking about trust.
We have our exes. We talk. Not at the expense of our partner's happiness.
They have midnight calls?
No that's not fair, not right please
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 2:23pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Wow , how are you still calm? Do you have any blood in ur vein?! Any self respect!?? If my husband's ex called him at midnight and he answers in front of me!! huh well I would deal with him and her. U need to talk to him now and be serious about it! Does he care about ur feelings at all? Ur pride? I Pity you oo
after reading the above, we can clearly understand that in your world everything is about you, you and only YOU.... i do feel sorry for the man who has to live "under" you command.
to each their own misery.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by sisisioge: 2:39pm On Mar 22, 2016
Hmmmm...

Babes, pls think of a profitable biz with your ex too. No lailai
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna:
[quote author=MRBrownJ post=44005340]after reading the above, we can clearly understand that in your world everything is about you, you and only YOU.... i do feel sorry for the man who has to live "under" you command.
to each their

.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 3:10pm On Mar 22, 2016
MRBrownJ:
after reading the above, we can clearly understand that in your world everything is about you, you and only YOU.... i do feel sorry for the man who has to live "under" you command.
to each their own misery.
How! So ur telling me she should let him talk to his "ex" every night and smile pretending as if nothings happening ?! What kinda bussines is diccussed at mid night? And does this bussines discussions have more priority than his wifes feelings? He clearly doesn't CARE! I'm sure if it was vise versa he would break the phone and the marriage! Talk about hypocrisy!!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 3:56pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
How! So ur telling me she should let him talk to his "ex" every night and smile pretending as if nothings happening?!
probably not, but i doubt that "dealing with them" can solve anything, far from it. your violent ways will only give him tools to use against you, and possibly ruin a business deal.
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.

What kinda bussines is diccussed at midnight?
i dont know as i dont have a crystal ball, but it certainly isnt impossible to only have free time at night to discuss such dealings. if they are busy with other jobs during the day then night time would be the only time to discuss. if she is a mother and have a family of her own to deal with then only when the kids are asleep could she be free to discuss business. would that be so far fetched or do you women see everything NEGATIVE as soon as another woman is involved?
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.

And does this bussines discussions have more priority than his wifes feelings?
what a selfish statement!!! so now just because you aint cool with your men's business dealings, he should stop them to accommodate your low self esteem and insecurities, without having a mature discussion about the issue 1st?!
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.

He clearly doesn't CARE!
bwaaaaaaah! women are quick to throw the above statement when they have no valid point to bring to the table. why dont you explain to us why your feelings should be more important than your husband making money?
actually he does care... but obviously he cares more about his business. again, your feelings are important but NOT a priority in a family's wellbeing. get over it.

I'm sure if it was vise versa he would break the phone and the marriage! Talk about hypocrisy!!
he probably would but is it RIGHT?!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 4:30pm On Mar 22, 2016
MRBrownJ:
probably not, but i doubt that "dealing with them" can solve anything, far from it. your violent ways will only give him tools to use against you, and possibly ruin a business deal.
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.



i dont know as i dont have a crystal ball, but it certainly isnt impossible to only have free time at night to discuss such dealings. if they are busy with other jobs during the day then night time would be the only time to discuss. if she is a mother and have a family of her own to deal with then only when the kids are asleep could she be free to discuss business. would that be so far fetched or do you women see everything NEGATIVE as soon as another woman is involved?
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.



what a selfish statement!!! so now just because you aint cool with your men's business dealings, he should stop them to accommodate your low self esteem and insecurities, without having a mature discussion about the issue 1st?!
mature COMMUNICATION is the only solution here.



bwaaaaaaah! women are quick to throw the above statement when they have no valid point to bring to the table. why dont you explain to us why your feelings should be more important than your husband making money?
actually he does care... but obviously he cares more about his business. again, your feelings are important but NOT a priority in a family's wellbeing. get over it.



he probably would but is it RIGHT?!
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 5:02pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
then i certainly would hate to see what will happen when your husband EQUALLY "reacts" to your sudden madness, and deals with you accordingly.
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 5:18pm On Mar 22, 2016
MRBrownJ:
then i certainly would hate to see what will happen when your husband EQUALLY "reacts" to your sudden madness, and deals with you accordingly.
Don't worry about my husband. I will make sure I marry someone who will put me first as I would and definitely have mutual respect!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by raumdeuter: 5:33pm On Mar 22, 2016
Would it be okay if your husband calls this ex during the day? Cos it seem say na the midnight dey cause issue
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 6:00pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Don't worry about my husband. I will make sure I marry someone who will put me first as I would and definitely have mutual respect!
women like yourself who think that THEY can overreact to whatever they desire, and expect their husbands to be quiet and accept whatever nonsense you throw at them, are simply dreamers.

[b]here is the reality of life (take note):
- most men would accept all your childish act before marriage, but will put you right in your place when you guys are a few months/yrs into that marriage, unless you guys COMMUNICATE beforehand.

- if ever your future husband foolishly puts you 1st, it will only last until you guys have kids, and then THEY will be 1st... and therefore any business dealings will be needed to improve their wellbeings (whether you like it or not)

- the "mumu" that you describe here on NL (as your "perfect" man), and that you dream of marrying, is NOT a man... he is a muppet that hasnt got a backbone, and who everyone will use and abuse (starting from you).

- COMMUNICATION is the only stepping stone to possibly settle any issue in marriage.

- Women like you who talk about mutual respect, yet dont have a clue about the meaning, is the reason why so many marriages are failing these days. how can there be ANY mutual respect if you expect your husband to DISREGARD his business dealings, DISREGARD his own feelings, STOP being himself, so that he can accommodate YOU (and your feelings) 1st. mutual respect should have you respect him as a man and whatever he choses to do, instead of trying to force him to be who YOU desire him to be. i mean, who are you kidding?! if both your feelings are respect equally, why yours should be 1st?

- we men rarely give a damn about y'all feelings because we all know that you women are emotionally driven creatures, and overreact most times (especially during that time of the month).
[/b]
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 6:03pm On Mar 22, 2016
raumdeuter:
Would it be okay if your husband calls this ex during the day? Cos it seem say na the midnight dey cause issue
I can imagine your facial expression
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 6:14pm On Mar 22, 2016
MRBrownJ:
women like yourself who think that THEY can overreact to whatever they desire, and expect their husbands to be quiet and accept whatever nonsense you throw at them, are simply dreamers.

[b]here is the reality of life (take note):
- most men would accept all your childish act before marriage, but will put you right in your place when you guys are a few months/yrs into that marriage, unless you guys COMMUNICATE beforehand.

- if ever your future husband foolishly puts you 1st, it will only last until you guys have kids, and then THEY will be 1st... and therefore any business dealings will be needed to improve their wellbeings (whether you like it or not)

- the "mumu" that you describe here on NL (as your "perfect" man), and that you dream of marrying, is NOT a man... he is a muppet that hasnt got a backbone, and who everyone will use and abuse (starting from you).

- COMMUNICATION is the only stepping stone to possibly settle any issue in marriage.

- Women like you who talk about mutual respect, yet dont have a clue about the meaning, is the reason why so many marriages are failing these days. how can there be ANY mutual respect if you expect your husband to DISREGARD his business dealings, DISREGARD his own feelings, STOP being himself, so that he can accommodate YOU (and your feelings) 1st. mutual respect should have you respect him as a man and whatever he choses to do, instead of trying to force him to be who YOU desire him to be. i mean, who are you kidding?! if both your feelings are respect equally, why yours should be 1st?

- we men rarely give a damn about y'all feelings because we all know that you women are emotionally driven creatures, and overreact most times (especially during that time of the month).
[/b]
You talk rubbish as if you know me! Iam sorry but you seem someone whose pained by a woman who chose not to be walked over and suffer evrytin u do because ur the man and she's just a "woman"!! U seem like on of these men who are taught at young age that they're superior nd therefore can treat women anyway they like!! Ur the kind of MEN who expect ur wife to still wash ur dirty underwear after u just cheated nd feel guilt free!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by raumdeuter: 6:17pm On Mar 22, 2016
Dyt:
I can imagine your facial expression
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Idaya abi no be so? Make OP ask the husband to make those calls in the afternoon
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 6:28pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
You talk rubbish as if you know me! Iam sorry but you seem someone whose pained by a woman who chose not to be walked over and suffer evrytin u do because ur the man and she's just a "woman"!! U seem like on of these men who are taught at young age that they're superior nd therefore can treat women anyway they like!! Ur the kind of MEN who expect ur wife to still wash ur dirty underwear after u just cheated nd feel guilt free!
again, read carefully what i wrote as it isnt about men vs women (or even cheating) but mostly about respect/communication/understanding in any union. all this issue was NEVER about someone being superior than the other, but all about COMMUNICATION.

as for wifey washing my dirty underwear, how hard is it to throw an underwear in the washing machine?! please!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Saronna: 6:40pm On Mar 22, 2016
MRBrownJ:
again, read carefully what i wrote as it isnt about men vs women (or even cheating) but mostly about respect/communication/understanding in any union. all this issue was NEVER about someone being superior than the other, but all about COMMUNICATION.

as for wifey washing my dirty underwear, how hard is it to throw an underwear in the washing machine?! please!
Very funny! I believe that's what I said 'mutual respect, understanding and communication ' but if none of this works on him then it can't be helped can it? Like the ops husband whome u seem to be defending, she talked to him and said how it made her feel abt the situation (COMMUNICATION )and waiting for months just so that he might finally tell her abt the"bussines" he's doing during midnights tells you that she is (UNDERSTANDING ) and for the fact that he isn't shows you that he is DISRESPECTFULL AND CARELESS abt her feelings and one can only take so much! Idk how in the name of god she's enduring his crap!!
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by Dyt(f): 7:06pm On Mar 22, 2016
raumdeuter:
Idaya abi no be so? Make OP ask the husband to make those calls in the afternoon
Are you guilty ni
Hehehe
Re: Help A Jealous Wife by MRBrownJ: 7:50pm On Mar 22, 2016
Saronna:
Very funny! I believe that's what I said 'mutual respect, understanding and communication ' but if none of this works on him then it can't be helped can it? Like the ops husband whome u seem to be defending, she talked to him and said how it made her feel abt the situation (COMMUNICATION )and waiting for months just so that he might finally tell her abt the"bussines" he's doing during midnights tells you that she is (UNDERSTANDING ) and for the fact that he isn't shows you that he is DISRESPECTFULL AND CARELESS abt her feelings and one can only take so much! Idk how in the name of god she's enduring his crap!!
no no no sista, you "say" mutual respect while expecting your feelings and self to be put 1st. how can that ever be mutual respect? mutual respect is NOT about disregarding someone's views/opinions and expecting ONLY yours to be followed, it is 1st about having an understanding and 2nd communicate maturely so 3rd you guys can come to a solution that fits the BOTH of you (important word here is in bold).

as for the OP, you must not know what COMMUNICATING means. just because you tell someone that you have issues with their actions, doesnt mean they automatically have to accommodate you. 1st you have a mature discussion (back and forth) that can last a while until BOTH come to a SOLUTION. such can often take times. how can you assume that the man isnt understanding because he hasnt changed, and that means it is a lack of respect? would taking the calls in private change anything about how she "feels", really? would hiding make matters better? come on!!!!
this lady simply want her husband to STOP contacting his ex (whatever the cost), and this is the beef here, nothing else... if this ex was a doctor doing life threatening surgery on her husband's parents, she would still act the same jealous/selfish way.

if you think that the OP has made a clear case as to why her husband should stop having any contact with his ex, then no wonder there is such a gap between men and women when it comes to problem solving
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