₦airaland Forum

Saronna:
Don't worry about my husband. I will make sure I marry someone who will put me first as I would and definitely have mutual respect!

^^^^^hello mad woman Sanana......you will never find man on nairaland with yorr atitude on less you start actin like lady....this is not a curse..it is a sayin!! (No ofenese)

MrCork:
^^^^^hello mad woman Sanana......you will never find man on nairaland with yorr atitude on less you start actin like lady....this is not a curse..it is a sayin!! (No ofenese)

Non taken. Just leave me alone?

Saronna:
Non taken. Just leave me alone?

..stop cussin on nairaland & stop derailin people's threads...no man on nairaland want a lady like that ..GROW UP!! (word of wisssdom?

MRBrownJ:
no no no sista, you "say" mutual respect while expecting your feelings and self to be put 1st. how can that ever be mutual respect? mutual respect is NOT about disregarding someone's views/opinions and expecting ONLY yours to be followed, it is 1st about having an understanding and 2nd communicate maturely so 3rd you guys can come to a solution that fits the BOTH of you (important word here is in bold).

as for the OP, you must not know what COMMUNICATING means. just because you tell someone that you have issues with their actions, doesnt mean they automatically have to accommodate you. 1st you have a mature discussion (back and forth) that can last a while until BOTH come to a SOLUTION. such can often take times. how can you assume that the man isnt understanding because he hasnt changed, and that means it is a lack of respect? would taking the calls in private change anything about how she "feels", really? would hiding make matters better? come on!!!!
this lady simply want her husband to STOP contacting his ex (whatever the cost), and this is the beef here, nothing else... if this ex was a doctor doing life threatening surgery on her husband's parents, she would still act the same jealous/selfish way.

if you think that the OP has made a clear case as to why her husband should stop having any contact with his ex, then no wonder there is such a gap between men and women when it comes to problem solving

I want u to stop typing for once and just think how you would feel if u were In her shoes , would u let ur wife be on phone all night laughing and giggling with her ex ?! OBVIOUSLY NOT! she has every right to be jealous of her that's his "EX" someone he used to love once! First of all why even keep any contacts of ur ex once u decided to tie the knot with someone, no one said about disregarding anyone's opinion or view but in this matter I will ask why ? Why even keep in contact with ur ex no matter what the reason? U should be smart enough to know it's not healthy for ur relationship. like thats ur ex and iam ur wife if I don't feel comfortable u contacting her but u still do then I have every right to feel they way the OP does! It's unfair and hypocritacy !!!

MrCork:
..stop cussin on nairaland & stop derailin people's threads...no man on nairaland want a lady like that ..GROW UP!! (word of wisssdom?

Why you care? Go on with ur bussines and stop sticking ur nose where it's not needed!

Saronna:
Why you care? Go on with ur bussines and stop sticking ur nose where it's not needed!

..but how are u soposee to find man on nairaland if we dont helpyou....dont you wanna marry an hav kid?..why are you a stobbborn she-goat?(no ofeense)

MRBrownJ:
women like yourself who think that THEY can overreact to whatever they desire, and expect their husbands to be quiet and accept whatever nonsense you throw at them, are simply dreamers.

[b]here is the reality of life (take note):
- most men would accept all your childish act before marriage, but will put you right in your place when you guys are a few months/yrs into that marriage, unless you guys COMMUNICATE beforehand.

- if ever your future husband foolishly puts you 1st, it will only last until you guys have kids, and then THEY will be 1st... and therefore any business dealings will be needed to improve their wellbeings (whether you like it or not)

- the "mumu" that you describe here on NL (as your "perfect" man), and that you dream of marrying, is NOT a man... he is a muppet that hasnt got a backbone, and who everyone will use and abuse (starting from you).

- COMMUNICATION is the only stepping stone to possibly settle any issue in marriage.

- Women like you who talk about mutual respect, yet dont have a clue about the meaning, is the reason why so many marriages are failing these days. how can there be ANY mutual respect if you expect your husband to DISREGARD his business dealings, DISREGARD his own feelings, STOP being himself, so that he can accommodate YOU (and your feelings) 1st. mutual respect should have you respect him as a man and whatever he choses to do, instead of trying to force him to be who YOU desire him to be. i mean, who are you kidding?! if both your feelings are respect equally, why yours should be 1st?

- we men rarely give a damn about y'all feelings because we all know that you women are emotionally driven creatures, and overreact most times (especially during that time of the month).
[/b]

What business dealings? Can you just get your head out of your azz and say things as they are

Saronna:
I want u to stop typing for once and just think how you would feel if u were In her shoes , would u let ur wife be on phone all night laughing and giggling with her ex ?! OBVIOUSLY NOT!

i am not an insecure person, but if it would eve bother me, then i would sit her down and we would have a mature discussion until the issue is resolved, and both are satisfied with the outcome.

she has every right to be jealous of her that's his "EX" someone he used to love once!

yes, she has every right to be jealous (to each their own low self esteem) but to expect her husband to walk away from a business he may have heavily invested in (physically/financially), without having a PROPER MATURE discussion on the issue, is certainly not the way to go.

First of all why even keep any contacts of ur ex once u decided to tie the knot with someone,

again, to each their own low self esteem, but i dont think anyone should suddenly erase their past simply because they are getting married. there is nothing wrong with keeping friends with your exes (if thats what you wish), but you certainly have NO business marrying a man if you cant trust him with such petty stuff.

no one said about disregarding anyone's opinion or view but in this matter I will ask why ? Why even keep in contact with ur ex no matter what the reason?

so if his ex had linked to ministers and ogas at the top, who could greatly benefit his business etc.... you do believe he should delete her contact because he is getting married to a woman who isnt comfortable with their now friendship?! ahahahahahahahah very funny!

U should be smart enough to know it's not healthy for ur relationship. like thats ur ex and iam ur wife if I don't feel comfortable u contacting her but u still do then I have every right to feel they way the OP does! It's unfair and hypocritacy !!!

again, YES you have the right to feel however you wanna feel about their now friendship, but expecting him to disregard his business dealings because of an immature wife, is ridiculous! without having a mature discussion on the issue, there is no way this man should change anything about his business dealings (and possibly lose his investment). wifey should grow up and act RIGHT, instead of acting like a child. if these guys cant sit down and have a mature discussion, where both can put their views across, and come to a MATURE understanding/solution, then they have no business being married together!

Joy1706:
What business dealings? Can you just get your head out of your azz and say things as they are

the business dealings that the husband claims he was having with his ex, for his brotha... but hey, if you can see something different in your crystal ball, then pls come share it with us all.

MRBrownJ:
i am not an insecure person, but if it would eve bother me, then i would sit her down and we would have a mature discussion until the issue is resolved, and both are satisfied with the outcome.



yes, she has every right to be jealous (to each their own low self esteem) but to expect her husband to walk away from a business he may have heavily invested in (physically/financially), without having a PROPER MATURE discussion on the issue, is certainly not the way to go.



again, to each their own low self esteem, but i dont think anyone should suddenly erase their past simply because they are getting married. there is nothing wrong with keeping friends with your exes (if thats what you wish), but you certainly have NO business marrying a man if you cant trust him with such petty stuff.



so if his ex had linked to ministers and ogas at the top, who could greatly benefit his business etc.... you do believe he should delete her contact because he is getting married to a woman who isnt comfortable with their now friendship?! ahahahahahahahah very funny!



again, YES you have the right to feel however you wanna feel about their now friendship, but expecting him to disregard his business dealings because of an immature wife, is ridiculous! without having a mature discussion on the issue, there is no way this man should change anything about his business dealings (and possibly lose his investment). wifey should grow up and act RIGHT, instead of acting like a child. if these guys cant sit down and have a mature discussion, where both can put their views across, and come to a MATURE understanding/solution, then they have no business being married together!

Brother , ur words - To each their own! Good day.

My issue is that I'm naturally jealous. Why do business with her? Since September last year.. Business I have not seen.. Or heard the business name. He can do business but not talking and chatting all the time. If I'm talking to him he will be busy chatting with her.... If I come close he hides his phone.
My issue is not self esteem... My issue is that I'm jealous they talk all the time + laughing too (to my hearing .. Even in mid night. She calls him

That's very dangerous.

Please be calm and be very wise this time around.

Do everything womanly possible to win your man back. Obviously there's something he sees in her that made him returned to her.

Don't give chances, it's not wise to fight him now.
As a woman, let me ask, how is your bedroom time like ?
Do you think you are doing enough ?
There must be something he sees in her, you know ?
I am not saying you should become someone else in order to satisfy your man. But you can always try your best and leave the remaining to God. Afterall the ex too will have her weakness, she can't be miss perfect na.
My sister, calm down, try your best and leave the remaining to God to handle.
He is able !!!

Saronna:
Brother , ur words - To each their own! Good day.

..am not your brothers...anyways are you lightskin?

MrCork:
..am not your brothers...anyways are you lightskin?

No iam RAINBOW! good enough? ?

Saronna:
No iam RAINBOW! good enough? ?

..go & change dakskin yor skin compluxsion to lightskin yellow or else no man will chase u on nairaland & u will remain single!!

Saronna:
No iam RAINBOW! good enough? ?

Don't mind him
He's actually one of our finest here