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Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by 5minsmadness(op): 10:15am On Mar 31, 2016
fem29:
So true. How come they never went to the hospital to do a pregnancy test. I would have thought if someone you don't want to marry says she is pregnant for you, you would do all tests possible to make sure she is pregnant before you marry her. This story get as e be
You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 11:34am On Mar 31, 2016
What bewitchment is this? if not 2 yrs pregnancy and he was following her up and down. cheesy cheesy
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by k4kenny(f): 12:48pm On Mar 31, 2016
5minsmadness:
huh
What r u talking about?
I have never discussed story 1 before.
She's talking about a story on this section very similar to your story #1. Even I thought so too for a while there.

@topic,

Na wa o. The kind of things people in the name of marriage sha, really pathetic. A friend of mine also nearly got trapped with pregnancy by a chick. She claimed she was pregnant with twins and they must marry ASAP grin. Fortunately the whole ting blew up in her face, she had to fake a miscarriage undecided.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by SAMBARRY:
5minsmadness:
I guess I sympathise easily.
I have a little secret. I can't stand to see women cry. It hits me somewhere. The suffering this lady is going thru now, the ridicule, disgrace etc. All cos she wouldn't tell the truth. And it's made worse cos for a long time she made it look like the husband was the monster. Like he changed suddenly and no one knew why. All the shit was on him until he finally blurted out the true story. So it's like she knew what the problem was and she was bad mouthing him all over the neighborhood. Which makes her actions much worse.

Its just sad.
mr man what is the name of the nollywood movie you just narrated of 3families and when will the part 2come out smiley

Anyway

Why handsome sexy looking boy like you a whole omo lagos/Michigan boy like you go dey write superstories wink

Well I no chop am tongue

Btw have you cleaned your gas cooker? cool
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by InformedLola(f): 2:00pm On Mar 31, 2016
marcjane:
5minsmadess,@ story one,i taught the lady said,hubby has 30% motility and that she is ok.
I just don't get anymore.
Abi o.

@ 5minsmadness, we know who you are referring to o. We have read her story here on Nairaland.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 2:35pm On Mar 31, 2016
5minsmadness:
You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!
OK fair enough. If I were him I would have taken her to the hospital for pregnancy test. When I went to register for antenatal at about 6 weeks, the hospital insisted on doing a test even though I had done a home test.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by GodnGold: 5:41pm On Mar 31, 2016
The heart of man is wicked,who can know it?
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Cutehector(m): 9:56pm On Mar 31, 2016
Just look at all of them tryn to justify two wrongs.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by AfroKnight: 10:00pm On Mar 31, 2016
That's women for you. You can never know their mind. The worst are these fake church girls. Many of them are refurbished. They form "good girl" looking for innocent men to scam into marriage.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by MsGlobalwonder(f): 10:24pm On Mar 31, 2016
Nairaland and anti-women posts are like rice and bean. Get creative guyzzz.. it's really getting boring. God bless you. undecided
5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitterhuh When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by MsGlobalwonder(f): 10:26pm On Mar 31, 2016
Gloriagee:
N lying and deception pre marriage is only done by females, right? I know a lady that dated a guy for bout 8 years with assurances he was AA n wen it was time for wedding, after blood tests, it was 'discovered' that he was AS.

Wat bout guys that lie bout their personal worth, where they work or their preferences as in I don't care if u wear make up or trousers and then change after wedding?

Don't get me wrong, deception on the part of females AND males pre marriage is horrible and sadly enuf, it's the woman that often lives with the consequences as she ends up either in an unhappy marriage or becomes an old maid.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by danidee10(m): 10:35pm On Mar 31, 2016
The summary is fear women (wickedness of men)
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by histemple: 10:37pm On Mar 31, 2016
5minsmadness:
I guess I sympathise easily.
I have a little secret. I can't stand to see women cry. It hits me somewhere. The suffering this lady is going thru now, the ridicule, disgrace etc. All cos she wouldn't tell the truth. And it's made worse cos for a long time she made it look like the husband was the monster. Like he changed suddenly and no one knew why. All the shit was on him until he finally blurted out the true story. So it's like she knew what the problem was and she was bad mouthing him all over the neighborhood. Which makes her actions much worse.

Its just sad.
I hardly comment on this kind of post but I think you need this advice, and urgently too. You need to learn how to look beyond the crying of a woman to enable you find out WHY she is crying--so that emotional blackmail won't becloud your sense of reasoning and good judgement. Some women take advantage of "good" people like you.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by streetzdreamz(m): 10:39pm On Mar 31, 2016
Reasons why people exchange marital vows differs on their respective wants,some just wanna be married to a man,some want happiness,the list goes on!!of all this setbacks the blood group/genotype,paternity of the child gives me the creeps,v read a lot of stories with sad endings about ss kids and husbands knowing they aint the father of the kids they raising after several years,its just so hard to get people to do the right things this days...AS or SS both works for me,but its still gonna be a hellish search for ones life partner.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by oglalasioux(m): 10:45pm On Mar 31, 2016
We place priority in making babies and getting married like our mates. That's our problem. That's where all the lies are coming from.

I envisage a situation whereby a man loves a woman for who she is. If the woman is not capable of having a child of her own and the man needs it, they can get a surrogate mother for that without the man having sexual intercourse with the surrogate mother (science has made this possible.)

The stigma on unmarried people is another factor. The lies will be more sophisticated in the future if we don't handle these two points.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 10:47pm On Mar 31, 2016
5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitterhuh When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.
as always...

where do you get all these your cases, are you a marriage/relationship counselor?
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Acidosis(m): 10:53pm On Mar 31, 2016
oglalasioux:
We place priority in making babies and getting married like our mates. That's our problem. That's where all the lies are coming from.

I envisage a situation whereby a man loves a woman for who she is. If the woman is not capable of having a child of her own and the man needs it, they can get a surrogate mother for that without the man having sexual intercourse with the surrogate mother (science has made this possible.)

The stigma on unmarried people is another factor. The lies will be more sophisticated in the future if we don't handle these two points.
Will you pay the bills for surrogacy?
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by justiz5(m):
AfroKnight:
That's women for you. You can never know their mind. The worst are these fake church girls. Many of them are refurbished. They form "good girl" looking for innocent men to scam into marriage.

Your head dey there. That is how one of my female Church members came and started narrating one story to me in the name of dream. The dream had to do with my mum, my sister and I. I just told her the whole dream was all about her and had nothing to do with me and my family.

These frustrated Church sisters are desperately looking for innocent brothers' neck to hook up to.

Young men must be brave.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by muzeze77:
Anyone trust but verify your spouse
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 11:13pm On Mar 31, 2016
muzeze77:
Well the second happened to me, in my family we have a history of SS, as an AS I was always on a lookout for AA to cut story short met someone who said she is AA but when she got pregnant she was AS , she boasted that her pastor said she would not have sickler kids, our first child came out AA felt like leaving but thought maybe the pastors were right. Second child SS. Now am thinking of getting a girl friend on d side, there is no greater sin than bringing a child to suffer in this world, I still take care of my bro who is over 40 AND is a sickler , I weep when I see him suffer, will never date a naija lady again (why would anyone lie about genotype ), most are not honest and they claim religious, my advice to anyone trust but verify your spouse
were you not supposed to go for the genotype test together and get the results?

what if it was HIV?
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 11:15pm On Mar 31, 2016
justiz5:

Your head dey there. That is how one of my female Church members came and started narrating one story to me in the name of dream. The dream had to do with my mum, my sister and I. I just told her the whole dream was all about her and had nothing to do with me and my family.

These frustrated Church sisters are desperately looking for innocent brothers' neck to hook up to.

Young men must be brave.
for your mind na, you be eligible bachelor? grin
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by dozai: 11:19pm On Mar 31, 2016
Women have been lying since AD 11. Women & lies are like sweet na chingum. Why everything about them Na lies. hair. eye. lips. butt. breast. Sometimes they can lie 3ice on d same question if u ask it differently.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by justiz5(m): 11:25pm On Mar 31, 2016
Joavid:
for your mind na, you be eligible bachelor? grin

Na so.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by romme2u: 12:30am On Apr 01, 2016
5minsmadness:
You're speaking in retrospect. A lot of people are very gullible and not as suspicious as you are trying to make out here. Especially if the girl comes with a forged pregnancy test. Most of them won't double check. This guy didnt anyway.


But I've seen worse. Not many people are as educated health wise as you think. You will not believe I have seen a 'graduate' whose wife said she was pregnant for 2yrs and d guy believed!
hey bro long time no see.

i always love ur 5 min madness
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Wowzer(m): 2:31am On Apr 01, 2016
InformedLola you are right. The story in case 1 is that of a Nairalander where 5minsmadness has been involved. Probably he is a friend to the husband of the lady in question. "There is this case I'm sorting out now". His comment on the post made by the lady in question gives him away.

Reason for his outburst and opening of the thread. (Confirmed).

Some of us are not gullible. Just surprised that same people who gave her advice and support against the husband on her post are now on this same thread justifying the divorce as her entitlement for deceit.

Moral of the story:

Don't judge based on hear say without hearing from the other party.

Don't dish out parochial advice, when you are not part of a relationship or marriage.

Just because the woman is the one narrating the story doesn't imply that she is fault free and the other person is at fault or the monster. Same applies to a man telling is story. Cos the tendency of sugar coating is there.

Never deceive anyone and/ or the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with.

Marriage is not for everybody. Just like everyone can't be wealthy. Don't force it to be.
There is more to life than marriage.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Funnyguy83: 3:44am On Apr 01, 2016
5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitterhuh When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Bollinger(m): 3:45am On Apr 01, 2016
5minsmadness:
There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

There was another one where the lady told her man she was AA before they got married, went as far as forging lab documents. Only for them to give birth to Sicklers children. On lab tests they found out she was SS and the man was AS. The man wa stunned to hear the family always knew she was a sickler and were happy when she said she had found a man to marry, not knowing she had decieved him to the alter. Now the husband is resentful. He doesn't believe in divorce but hs started sleeping around looking for how he can have a normal child after more than 3 sickler children. The woman has reported him to all and sundry and they were all blaming the man and raining abuses on him until the real story came out. And you wonder why he is bitterhuh When you ruined his chances at a normal life? When you didn't respect him enough to give him a choice of what he wanted to feel with in life?

A third couple the man has turned to a chronic wife beater. He uses her for a punching bag daily, yet she refuses to leave him. Man bashing began before it came out that he never wanted to marry her, that she used a fake pregnancy to trap him into the marriage and he had a fiancee that he had to drop because he thought he was doing the right thing. Only to discover three months into the marriage that the pregnancy wasn't progressing and she was caught trying to arrange a faked miscarriage.

I can go on and on but it's the first story that happened recently that touched me to share this. It's sad to see women crying pitiably only to find that they are the source of their problems. The wedding day is not as important as the marriage proper. Getting married is a good thing, but getting married with deception will ALWAYS come back to bite you in the ass. You are going to be living with this person for the rest of your life. Make sure you start well so you can end well.

My take.
You too much jooo. I mean, everyone knows men don't lie to women at all. In fact, men don't lie period. Men are the most trust worthy species on the planet. It has been documented that when it comes to lies in a relationship, the male gender are saints. I thought i was the only that read the result of the findings. OP, your thought process is truly fantastic. When i grow up, i wanna be like you. grin
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Funnyguy83: 3:48am On Apr 01, 2016
[quote author=5minsmadness post=44244957]There's this case I'm trying to sort out now where the man has been sleeping around and wants to divorce his wife. Naturally his friends and neighbors were outraged and coming after the head of the man , calling him all sorts of names and swearing for him. Only to discover that the man recently found out that the reason they haven't had a child for 2yrs is cos the woman had a hysterectomy (surgery to remove her womb) whem she was a teenager following a bad abortion. And SHE KNEW BUT DIDNT TELL HIM. Why decieve the man and enter marriage under false pretenses only to start crying wolf when your deceit is found out. Now nobody knows how to proceed since the man has irrefutable proof that the lady he 'loved' decieved him into a childless marriage.

Op is it the case of the woman on the front page saying that her husband wants divorce after telin him of vodoo ? Cos i think the said gal has more to tell us than what she told us here. Answer me.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by Nobody: 3:53am On Apr 01, 2016
Women are good at playing victim, but I dont fall for it anymore.
Re: Women, Stop Lying To Your Husbands And Playing Victim Afterwards! by AreaFada2: 4:27am On Apr 01, 2016
5minsmadness:
Maybe the sleeping around is the process of looking for a second wife na.

No 3 is just as pathetic. Maybe the man wanted goodbye sex and the girl used the opportunity to trap him. It happens. Happens a lot.
The man is confused, desperate and more. He feels betrayed, perhaps time wasted. As far as he's concerned now, until a woman is pregnant, he cannot trust her womb.

If in 9ja, life expectancy of sicklers is still low. Those reaching 35 are considered lucky.
Even in the West with better health care, dealing with the agony of sickle cell complications in kids is still tough.

If you check my old posts, I have mentioned a not too dissimilar experience with a lady. Though not married, still wasted some years dating her. Though not full-blown hysterectomy but womb was damaged enough via teenage abortion to make conception highly unlikely.
Even when the truth came to light, with obvious medical evidence, they (the girl, her mum & sisters) kept denying.

Well, it was time to bail out.

It is the height of deception. When kids don't come in a marriage, it's hard enough. When you then find out that the woman & her family knew the reason all along, it's must be devastating.
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