₦airaland Forum

I know this issue isn't new but I really want a good and resourceful advice from you guys(Nairalanders).

I met a lady last year which we have been so close and she told me about her past love life in which she mistakenly conceived for a guy after her schooling.These happened because her parent had a misunderstanding so they had to separate leaving her with her grandma to suffer.......bla bla bla.The guy turned her into a punching bag and beat her always; she had to pack her things and went back to her grandma's place.This transpired last 4 yrs.

Though my initial motives was just to be her friend but along the line she always appreciate every time she spends with me.(Guys should understand these green lights ladies emit when ever they feel they are comfortable with you.)I didn't touch her all through these no matter the colour of light.

I am now in so much love with her;she is just perfect.I intentionally made sure I pushed her to the wall with words but she was just calm; my God.She's hardworking not d lazy type........Please just help me;I am about to start a relationship with her and this might lead into marriage because I feel she's just perfect but on the other side she is not because she has given birth bfre.I don't know what to do?I don't know if this step am about to take doesn't have a side effect later in future.please make una advise;biko....

Young man, kindly do ursef good by going to investigate if the other guy paid anything on that galz head else u will be fornicating until the 2nd coming..

Love is a beautiful thing but it takes a man with a large heart to accept another man's child, if u know u can cope even after the other guy comes for his child, why not go ahead nd marry someone u love..

menix:
Young man, kindly do ursef good by going to investigate if the other guy paid anything on that galz head else u will be fornicating until the 2nd coming..

Love is a beautiful thing but it takes a man with a large heart to accept another man's child, if u know u can cope even after the other guy comes for his child, why not go ahead nd marry someone u love..

The guy hasn't paid for her dowry

issylarry:
The guy hasn't paid for her dowry

Marriage is not dating ooo..

Sure she told you that abii

Why not go out there nd find out things urself..

Let me tell u a small story:
Met this gal looking so innocent, she told me about the ex guy who mistreated her to the extent of coming home with other galz while she is around..
I pitied her nd almost fell in love not until she dropped "My mum is aware of this guy and had advised her to stay put" irrespective she is no longer staying with the guy..

Guy it struck me that I was not dealing with a single gal thou formalities(the engagement) were not yet done.
Guy I took to my heels only after a month and few weeks I saw her wedding pix...
Moral of the story: She thought I had Gold nd wanted to ditch the other guy for me...

Make I no even tell you of one calabar gal wey dey deceive me until one day wey I go visit a friend come see her with children wey resemble her, I knew women could be desperate when they suspect u re good to go...

Seriously learning here...better get my pen n paper.

menix:
Marriage is not dating ooo..

Sure she told you that abii

Why not go out there nd find out things urself..

Let me tell u a small story:
Met this gal looking so innocent, she told me about the ex guy who mistreated her to the extent of coming home with other galz while she is around..
I pitied her nd almost fell in love not until she dropped "My mum is aware of this guy and had advised her to stay put" irrespective she is no longer staying with the guy..

Guy it struck me that I was not dealing with a single gal thou formalities(the engagement) were not yet done.
Guy I took to my heels only after a month and few weeks I saw her wedding pix...
Moral of the story: She thought I had Gold nd wanted to ditch the other guy for me...

Make I no even tell you of one calabar gal wey dey deceive me until one day wey I go visit a friend come see her with children wey resemble her, I knew women could be desperate when they suspect u re good to go...

Really?some ladies are not to be trusted. tnx a lot;I'm going to do my search on her.tnx have just gained sumtin

Her having a child shouldn't be a barrier. If you truly like her marry her. Learn to follow your heart. You have an GOLDEN opportunity to learn to show true love to a child which is not your.

ifenes:
Her having a child shouldn't be a barrier. If you truly like her marry her. Learn to follow your heart. You have an GOLDEN opportunity to learn to show true love to a child which is not your.

are u saying her given birth is a golden opportunity? raising a child that's not mine is like charity and don't u think it's a waste of resources?

issylarry:
are u saying her given birth is a golden opportunity? raising a child that's not mine is like charity and don't u think it's a waste of resources?

You can be a father to a child that isn't biologically yours. That is what love is all about,not selfish love.

ifenes:
You can be a father to a child that isn't biologically yours. That is what love is all about,not selfish love.

True;what if you were later betrayed by that same son.u know may the father could v had a bad kind of hidden attitude.... just giving an instance..I read a story on Nairaland some weeks back where the lady said she had an elder brother which he wasn't her biological brother;after the dad died the guy decided to lock them outside claiming he owns the building and all sorts. Though I don't want to judge tomorrow with today but the foundation of tomorrow depends on today

Having a child shouldn't be an issue . You can marry her and take the child as your own . That's should be your best way of showing your love for her. A lady like that will be very attached to her child and she will love any man who will embrace the child as a father . It is not who impregnate a lady that is father but the man who raise a child is the real father . Above all these . It's the will of God that counts . And you should give yourself to christ if you haven't .

issylarry:
True;what if you were later betrayed by that same son.u know may the father could v had a bad kind of hidden attitude.... just giving an instance..I read a story on Nairaland some weeks back where the lady said she had an elder brother which he wasn't her biological brother;after the dad died the guy decided to lock them outside claiming he owns the building and all sorts. Though I don't want to judge tomorrow with today but the foundation of tomorrow depends on today

"What if" is not fact. Do what makes you happy