₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Nigerians will never get it. What's wrong is normal to us.

Stop employing little children.

It's not like people employ them - at least the ones I have seen are not employed in that sense. They are usually the son(s) or daughter(s) of a relative or friend who are financially challenged or suffered some misfortune.

Acidosis:
Iffahear say you love someone else's pikin more or same way you love your blood. There are certain things and sacrifices you can only make for your son/daughter.

Meanwhile, let's get this straight, training another man's son/daughter is completely different from hiring a maid.

The question is: how many people adopt these kids for the purposes of training ONLY?

Concerning ur first paragraph I know u won't believe so lets 4get it.

I understood what u said but some good people takes in someone's child, treat him or her well, train him/her in school etc. not allowing such a child to indulge in any house hold chore is child abuse because u are training him/her to be lazy. Dat girl in dat pics is up to 7 and if she is my biological daughter I think its not bad for her to at least know how to wash plates and carry my hand bag.( I said this because some are crying dat the girl may be helping her madam do little things) when it will be wrong now, is if I try to over labour her or maltreat her in anyway. Since I won't like to spoil or maltreat my own child I won't do dsame to someone's child.


In conclusion, please if u know dat u won't treat ur house help (although I don't fancy house help stuff ) well 4get about having any but if u can take good care of him/her I don't see anything wrong with dat.

Kaira333:
Concerning ur first paragraph I know u won't believe so lets 4get it.

I understood what u said but some good people takes in someone's child, treat him or her well, train him/her in school etc. not allowing such a child to indulge in any house hold chore is child abuse because u are training him/her to be lazy. Dat girl in dat pics is up to 7 and if she is my biological daughter I think its not bad for her to at least know how to wash plates and carry my hand bag.( I said this because some are crying dat the girl may be helping her madam do little things) when it will be wrong now, is if I try to over labour her or maltreat her in anyway. Since I won't like to spoil or maltreat my own child I won't do dsame to someone's child.


In conclusion, please if u know dat u won't treat ur house help (although I don't fancy house help stuff ) well 4get about having any but if u can take good care of him/her I don't see anything wrong with dat.

Actually, I don't trust people who hire young/teenage girls in the name of "help" or "training".


A househelp should be treated like any other employee (driver, gateman, PA, manager, marketer, etc.). It is a job, and the mode of payment is MONEY (like I mentioned earlier, ankara is not a legal tender). A young girl who cannot bargain her Salary/Wage should never be hired for any form of JOB. It is called SLAVERY.

Acidosis:
Actually, I don't trust people who hire young/teenage girls in the name of "help" or "training".


A househelp should be treated like any other employee (driver, gateman, PA, manager, marketer, etc.). It is a job, and the mode of payment is MONEY (like I mentioned earlier, ankara is not a legal tender). A young girl who cannot bargain her Salary/Wage should never be hired for any form of JOB. It is called SLAVERY.

Dear stop seeing it in dat view. No body is hiring anybody. Most at times they are related to either d madam or Oga and sometimes they are coming for help (as in, training them in school and so on) but its unfortunate dat some wicked people maltreat them.

Acidosis:
Actually, I don't trust people who hire young/teenage girls in the name of "help" or "training".


A househelp should be treated like any other employee (driver, gateman, PA, manager, marketer, etc.). It is a job, and the mode of payment is MONEY (like I mentioned earlier, ankara is not a legal tender). A young girl who cannot bargain her Salary/Wage should never be hired for any form of JOB. It is called SLAVERY.

Does that girl look like she's being treated like a slave? Can you treat her better?

OP your sister is doing a good job but stop calling her House help. I won't have guessed she was one if you didn't mention it, stop it.

verabetsy:
Nah, not what you think

read the post!

I have read your post and I still think it is child abuse. That little girl is still a "baby". If you want a house help then employ an adult. If you want to help the parents then foster the child and treat her as your own. There should definitely be no distinction between your foster child and your biological children.

Pidggin:
Does that girl look like she's being treated like a slave? Can you treat her better?

OP your sister is doing a good job but stop calling her House help. I won't have guessed she was one if you didn't mention it, stop it.

The fact that OP opened a thread to honour her sister shows the little girl is a "well-treated" teenage househelp.

Whether he/she is well treated or not, it is wrong to hire/accept to 'train' a teenage girl under your roof for the SOLE purpose of what you know you will benefit from her. When the aim is about YOU (what you will get), it can no longer be referred to as HELP, but employment/or slavery.

Slavery in that context means you hire a teenage girl to do the work of an adult, because you know you cannot afford the pay and demands of an adult; and you also know that a teenage girl has no VOICE or OPINION.

Kaira333:
Dear stop seeing it in dat view. No body is hiring anybody. Most at times they are related to either d madam or Oga and sometimes they are coming for help (as in, training them in school and so on) but its unfortunate dat some wicked people maltreat them.

The truth is it is hard to love everybody the same way we love our children. If my teenage daughter breaks a N500,000 TV in my home, the best I could do is to sit back, shout, pick the pieces and "CRY". A stranger may not get that treatment from me. It is hard to treat everyone equally, so the best is to avoid housing teenagers under the pretence of training.

A maltreated adult can take care of himself/herself. A lot of job seekers are passing through hell with their uncles and aunts in Lagos. That's a phase they have to pass through to breakthrough. For teenagers who have no voice, they should remain with their parents. A God sent and willing helper should assist these kids through their parents (or scholarships).

Acidosis:
The fact that OP opened a thread to honour her sister shows the little girl is a "well-treated" teenage househelp.

Whether he/she is well treated or not, it is wrong to hire/accept to 'train' a teenage girl under your roof for the SOLE purpose of what you know you will benefit from her. When the aim is about YOU (what you will get), it can no longer be referred to as HELP, but employment/or slavery.

Slavery in that context means you hire a teenage girl to do the work of an adult, because you know you cannot afford the pay and demands of an adult; and you also know that a teenage girl has no VOICE or OPINION.

Does that girl look like a teenager to you? The fact is that she is most likely better off living with the OP's sister than living with her parents who might not have the financial resources to take care of her. Let's stop being hypocritical here, if you had a ten years old biological child wouldn't you expect that child to help you out in the house with little chores? Wouldn't you expect the child to at least watch his/her younger ones while you and your wife are busy with other chores or work?

I see nothing wrong in this, the child looks happy and healthy, let sleeping dogs lie.

Pidggin:
Does that girl look like a teenager to you? The fact is that she is most likely better off living with the OP's sister than living with her parents who might not have the financial resources to take care of her. Let's stop being hypocritical here, if you had a ten years old biological child wouldn't you expect that child to help you out in the house with little chores? Wouldn't you expect the child to at least watch his/her younger ones while you and your wife are busy with other chores or work?

I see nothing wrong in this, the child looks happy and healthy, let sleeping dogs lie.

Since it is hard to recognize the maltreated and the well-treated, the way out is to preach against and abolish the idea of housing these teenage children.

What you call 'well-treatment' may be wickedness to some. See, at 8, 9, 10, I sold banana and plantain under my parent's roof, it was fun to me. If this woman (OP's sister) had placed a basket of banana on that girl's head, people will call her names for being 'wicked'.

There is a particular thread on Nl where people cursed a woman for allowing a 'foster' son oversee a small kiosk. In fact, the OP of that incidence took the boy's photo to pass a useless point.

It is better to let these kids remain with their parents, and allow everyone bear im papa name.

The truth remains that everybody cannot eat fried rice for dinner. Some people will take pap, others garri. That you drink garri does not mean you're suffering, it is a mindset thing. No amount of Ankara, makeup, and fried rice can erase the fact that a teenage girl is hired to do chores under the guise of HELP.

Garri and freedom with your parents is better than Chicken in an enslaved stomach.

Acidosis:
Since it is hard to recognize the maltreated and the well-treated, the way out is to preach against and abolish the idea of housing these teenage children.

What you call 'well-treatment' may be wickedness to some. See, at 8, 9, 10, I sold banana and plantain under my parent's roof, it was fun to me. If these woman (OP's sister) had placed a basket of banana on that girl's head, people will call her names for being 'wicked'.

There is a particular thread on Nl where people cursed a woman for allowing a 'foster' son oversee a small kiosk. In fact, the OP of that incidence took the boy's photo to pass a useless point.

It is better to let these kids remain with their parents, and allow everyone bear im papa name.

The truth remains that everybody cannot eat fried rice for dinner. Some people will take pap, others garri. That you drink garri does not mean you're suffering, it is a mindset thing. No amount of Ankara, makeup, and fried rice can erase the fact that a teenage girl is hired to do chores under the guise of HELP.

Garri and freedom with your parents is better than Chicken in an enslaved stomach.

Some people have benefited from helpers they lived with while they were growing up. Some parents may not be in a position to bring their child(ren) up well. I know a wealthy respected man who said that he would have not achieved anything in life if his uncle had not taken him away from his mother


To each his own.

Pidggin:
Some people have benefited from helpers they lived with while they were growing up. Some parents may not be in a position to bring the child up well. I know a wealthy respected man who said that he would have not achieved anything in life if his uncle had not taken him away from his mother


To each his own.

Hmmn

Well, you're right sis

Acidosis:
The truth is it is hard to love everybody the same way we love our children. If my teenage daughter breaks a N500,000 TV in my home, the best I could do is to sit back, shout, pick the pieces and "CRY". A stranger may not get that treatment from me. It is hard to treat everyone equally, so the best is to avoid housing teenagers under the pretence of training.

A maltreated adult can take care of himself/herself. A lot of job seekers are passing through hell with their uncles and aunts in Lagos. That's a phase they have to pass through to breakthrough. For teenagers who have no voice, they should remain with their parents. A God sent and willing helper should assist these kids through their parents (or scholarships).

eeeee Did u say if ur TEENAGE daughter breaks ur 500k property u will sit back and cry. Hmmmmmm u are very funny. Me cry ke? No she should be d one to cry and beg me 4 forgiveness likewise any other person in my house expect hubby.

Dear let just leave dis argument and face the reality.

I've seen so many asking questions like, is it really possible to get trusted house helps, drivers, home tutors, cleaners, Nannies, Cooks and more in Lagos without compromising security and safety?

Well, the good news is that I found a company that provides you with efficient house helps and much more at highly reasonable price. The company is Reallion Multiventures. They are fantastic!

www.reallionmultiventures.com

verabetsy:
you maybe right.

but the same way we have stubborn children, that's the same way we also have "wicked" (in your own words) househelp but that doesn't call for generalization.


Treat her right and let her conscience judge her

Exactly

verabetsy:
Keywords: househelp, maid, domestic servants, nanny, good treatment, children, school.

HOW BEST TO TREAT YOUR HOUSE-HELP

1. Enroll her in the same school with your children: The best thing you can do for your house-help is to enroll her in the same school with your biological children, be it private or government school. There is a saying that what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. The first step in maltreating housemaids is sending them in a school different from the school of the master/mistress. If truly you want to show compassion to your maid, start with this.

2. Get good clothes for him/her: Let no one differentiate between your children and your house-help by mere looking at their dresses. While shopping for clothes, shop for your housemaid too. He/she needs to look good.

3. Provide good shelter for her: Shelter does not only mean living in your house, making sure he/she sleeps on a good foam, sleeps under mosquito net, and in a well-ventilated room is also part of providing shelter for her. Some house-helps are given rooms in a place that can only be reserved for animals and yet the mistress feels she has done nothing wrong to the child.


4. Give her good food: The food you eat should be the food he/she eats. Some people are good at feeding their house-help with soured and left -over food. Some madams go as far as ensuring that the children of the family eat first before the house-help to hedge against food wastage by turning the house-help to dog. Please Ma/Sir; give her warm food just like your children!

5. Play with her sometimes: If you want to know how wicked some people are, go to their house and watch how they treat their house-help. The same way you play with your children, also play with your house-help sometimes to make her feel human too. It is not every time that you have to shout at your house assistance to drive home the point that you are the boss and she the sub-ordinate. Every human sometimes in life have the need to feel belonged.


6. Let her get close to her family: The truth is when you treat your house-help right, there is no need to be scared of taking her to her family house. The major reason people fear to take their maid to their family house is because of maltreatment. They are afraid that they maid may not be ready to follow them back to their house should they set their foot in their family house. The truth is if the maid looks well taking care of, the parents will encourage her to follow you back even if she decides not to follow you as a result of being a child.

7. Let your children respect her self-worth: have you ever been to a house and see a seven year old child calling a grown-up housemaid by her name and talking to her as if they are mates? The parents encouraged that. Teach your children how to respect your house-help. The respect accorded to them by your children can also extend to you because children who talk to their maid anyhow might one day talk to you the parents the same manner.

8. Put yourself in her shoe sometimes: As a human, we do forget things, fall sick, get tired etc. so why beat your domestic assistance up because he/she forgot one or two chores you assigned her? When he said that he is tired, can you try and understand for once? When she said that she is feeling sick, get her some drugs and allow her to take some rest. All these things may seem trivial but are very crucial in dealing with other people’s children.

9. Show her love: One would wonder whether all that have been written above is not love. This point come to show you that they content in this write-up is not exhaustive. Just apply the golden rule principle in your dealing with your house assistance. Do anything that keep him/her happy while protecting your interest and that of your family.

I know this article is prone to criticism that house-helps should be avoided in totality as people see it as a child abuse but before you criticize, not the following points:

- This article is focused on house-helps and not nannies. Therefore it is assumed that the people who are regarded as house-helps here are children who are mostly below the age of eighteen.

- The reason for taking a house-help is not necessary because the person taking in the maid needs domestic assistance, but sometimes, it could be to help the child either due to large family size, poor family background, and divorce of parents or in worst case, the death of either or both parents. As you can see, some cases actually warrant taking in a maid or a foster daughter as many refer to it. You may not necessary call her maid but in as much as she/he is not your biological child but is living in the same room with you then everything written here is applicable to you.

Below are the pictures of my sister with her little daughter and her foster daughter



source :

http://sagaciousguru..com.ng/2016/08/keywords-househelp-maid-domestic.html?m=1

thats child labour

what responsibility that child can carry, that a grow up like you require from a child that might be 5-10 years older than your own children

you are basically asking a child to do grow up people's job

its looks like helping but its not, dont employ someone who cant vote aka anyone under 18 is child is not responsible to take care of another child

Couldn't agree more. This is absolutely child labour and how other people find this ok and even defend it is mind boggling and very upsetting to me. The above pictures dont prove anything we have absolutely no idea what happens when this child is not asked to pose for the camera, what treatment she really receives.

Acidosis:
Again, the craze about househelps won't end in this country.

Treat your house help the same way you would treat your employees.

Take it or leave it, YOU cannot love your house help more than your FAMILY. No employer loves his employees more than his family. My family comes first over any house help, PA or manager. In fact buy them (househelp & your children) same ankara, deep down, we all know who you LOVE more.

The only thing we should fight against is CHILD LABOUR. Any adult should be free to take any house help job and be proud about it, the same way graduates proudly carry the 'PA' title. If you want to work, WORK! Do not expect your employer to love you more than his family (I WON'T). And to the employees, PA, or Househelp, you have a family too, love them more over your job. Do not kill yourself over a job, if you receive bad treatments, RESIGN.

Enough on the house help craze already. Nobody will love anybody more than himself/herself. Do your job, and get paid, mess up and GO!

The earlier we see HOUSEHELP as a JOB, the easier it will be to get over this hypocritical disposition to a normal, usual and paid job.


Meanwhile, I STRONGLY condemn CHILD LABOUR. What I see here is CHILD Labour, if she isn't related to you in anyway, ADOPT her legally or employ an adult who IS READY TO WORK & GET PAID.

Ankara is not the reward for a job well done. Pay an adult MONEY and let him/her decide on what to do with the payment.

verabetsy:
thank you so much. At least, for once someone has reasoned with me. I think the problem I made is referring to the girl as househelp, which I have modified right now.

Nigerians are hypocrites and live in self-denial. some of my siblings grew up in my aunties' house and I don't see anything wrong with it.


most people that were raised by their biological parents still grew up ruffians and rascals.

The good people of Nairaland left all the good points I enumerated in the post to attack the harmless pictures I attached with the post.

let me summarize the whole write up in a single sentence for lazy readers and quick-to-condemn fellas

The essence of this post is "TREAT ANYBODY LIVING WITH YOU LIKE YOUR OWN WHETHER THE PERSON(S) IS/ARE YOUR CHILD/CHILDREN

You're just very amazing and filled with wisdom. Pls merry Christmas.

verabetsy:
- This article is focused on house-helps and not nannies. Therefore it is assumed that the people who are regarded as house-helps here are children who are mostly below the age of eighteen.

- The reason for taking a house-help is not necessary because the person taking in the maid needs domestic assistance, but sometimes, it could be to help the child either due to large family size, poor family background, and divorce of parents or in worst case, the death of either or both parents. As you can see, some cases actually warrant taking in a maid or a foster daughter as many refer to it. You may not necessary call her maid but in as much as she/he is not your biological child but is living in the same room with you then everything written here is applicable to you.

=1

the correct wording would have been " Helping a relative to send a child to school "

based on that picture what help does that girl do at her that makes your work load less than before you took her in ?

Both your own child and the girl they still need childcare in their daily living, which cores can that girl do without being remanded, if not she has to be threatened for her not forget her chores ?

would you send your own child at that age to be house help over the holidays to help your mum and daddy? the chance of saying the too young are high right, because you clearly know that the child hasnt clearly matured for such responsibility

your intentions to help are perfect and human, but taking a child of that age for the exchange of labour and skol are wrong, there is a difference between teaching a child how to and using a child to do things

letting your child to do dishes etc is teaching, you are basically teaching them the basic of running their own homes in future by being able to do things themselves then using a child, this when you use a child to do jobs that are meant to be done by adults or someone employed eg kids who sell on the streets that job is for an adult

when you teach your kids how to cook clean etc you do it at your own pace and patience because its your child their is due care but when you teach child who am employee the whole due care is thrown out, you want things to done pronto, no room for patience because your mind tells you that this person is being paid they should know how to do it

those expectations becomes abuse, remember generally every employer wants an experienced worker so that work runs smooth, than the employer always monitoring or bucking instructions


hope you get my drift

ZIMDRILL:
the correct wording would have been " Helping a relative to send a child to school "

based on that picture what help does that girl do at her that makes your work load less than before you took her in ?

Both your own child and the girl they still need childcare in their daily living, which cores can that girl do without being remanded, if not she has to be threatened for her not forget her chores ?

would you send your own child at that age to be house help over the holidays to help your mum and daddy? the chance of saying the too young are high right, because you clearly know that the child hasnt clearly matured for such responsibility

your intentions to help are perfect and human, but taking a child of that age for the exchange of labour and skol are wrong, there is a difference between teaching a child how to and using a child to do things

letting your child to do dishes etc is teaching, you are basically teaching them the basic of running their own homes in future by being able to do things themselves then using a child, this when you use a child to do jobs that are meant to be done by adults or someone employed eg kids who sell on the streets that job is for an adult

when you teach your kids how to cook clean etc you do it at your own pace and patience because its your child their is due care but when you teach child who am employee the whole due care is thrown out, you want things to done pronto, no room for patience because your mind tells you that this person is being paid they should know how to do it

those expectations becomes abuse, remember generally every employer wants an experienced worker so that work runs smooth, than the employer always monitoring or bucking instructions


hope you get my drift

Oversabi


What happens when the child looses both parents in an accident?

PuZZyNegro:
Oversabi


What happens when the child looses both parents in an accident?

so ? does it give you the right to use that child as a maid ?

we shouldnt take such kids in exchange for labour

if you really want look after such children take them without his transaction of looking after them and you get labour from the child

very few people take such kids out of real love but they look at the labour benefit and bribe the world by taking in much child only the treatment of them will tell you the real reasons

did you see the video of woman who slamed a poor house help on the ground?. how decoded the video, the madam expected the poor house help to buckle to her child to the seat or hold the child, but unfortunately only the mother understands the danger, the other two her child and house help are just kids they got no idea of the danger of not having seat belt or seating properly. Some how the madam fell out the car and madam grabbed the house help and slam her on floor

why she slammed her for reasons

1 she felt for her own child not being taken care of and put in danger

2 motherly love you protect your own

3 simply because that one is a house help the mother expect her be wiser on the job but surely that girl how wise would her been knowing about seating still or putting on a seat belt? that chances are she rarely ride in that car

in the west both such kids are meant to buckled by an adult if not they buckle themselves but mum checks if belts are in properly and then she closes the door

so under age house help are always in trouble because there are expected to be perfect or know things that are not really of their age therefore when get things done there are in trouble

lets learn to separate the two, taking an underage house help and helping a relative by taking in one their child to leave with you while you send to skol, there is a difference there