Loveprotocol:

Unfortunately this lady is not one who likes chatting or talking on the phone. I've seen her ignore calls even from her parents and she may not call back just because she doesn't feel like it at that moment.
As for asking her about her life and past, she just said she would tell me later. She makes it look like she's interviewing me and carrying out a research about me to evaluate her options. Her colleague once told me she likes me but she's just scared though

Hmmm, tough one tho dat was why I said she's just being careful. Try and talk to her colleague, to talk to her on ur behalf at least to give u a chance so u can get to know her. Dat was d mistake u did, nt getting close first b4 jumping into marriage, some guys dis days use it to trap ladies just to ve sex and dump her, which i know it's nt ur intention.

Leave d marriage issue 4 now, try and know her first but don't b 2 pushy dont ignore her 2 bc i doubt if u ve giving her any reason to chase u. Try and ignore some comments dat re nt worth it, dis nl 4 u

Loveprotocol:

Why does she call me when I don't call her for a while? Why does she respect me and behave like a wife whenever I'm around her? Why does she keep asking about me and trying to know about my past? Why did she say "there's something about me I want you to know, I always take my time before making a decision, I like to consider all the pros and the cons before I choose so that whenever anything goes wrong, I'd accept responsibility"? Why is she asking her colleagues around to dig up my past which is rough but I never hid anything from her? Can you help provide answers to these questions?

I cannot give you the answers that you seek but i can tell you these.... Someone is respectful to everyone around her, you claim she is behaving like a wife? Is she supposed to behave like a wh.ore or be rude?

I will do exactly the same (ask people to tell me about your vices) if you stalked me to my house, show up at my home unannounced/uninvited. You are a bloody stranger for God sake.

She is a single, working class female (living alone, i assume) and has to take necessary steps to protect herself from harm without alerting you to the fact.

Finally, (most ladies would confirm these) we often tend to have/want someone who checks up on us via BBM/Whatsapp/texts etc.....we do not consider the person a boyfriend/husband material nor even worthy of the friendzone....its just a "boost your ego" type of ish and when that attention stops; we check to see if the person is still alive then move on afterwards.

mastermaestro:


Never force someone into marriage with you, never ever. You are trying to make it happen with your all. On the issue of visions and dreams, you should be extremely careful. I know a handful of folks with your kind of gift who still ended up with the wrong partner in marriage. When it comes to marriage, the devil uses everything he has to derail those who appear to be very spiritually sound, especially the ones with prophetic gifts. Watch well, dude.

Thanks so much, I appreciate this. I will never force anyone to marry me, besides with all sense of modesty, i'm someone that is chased by ladies not only cos of my good looks and dress sense, but my intelligence. She is the 2nd woman in my entire life that I've ever tried to toast.

Young man, stop deceiving yourself. Citing your submissions so far, it's obvious that you don't even know anything about the lady vise versa. I wonder how you boldly said that you have falling in love with someone you don't know her attributes. As ambiguous as love is, yet it's conventional wisdom that good attributes from both parties involved in a relationship are what will always sustain it in the long run - when realities sets in.

So far, you just lust over her, nothing more. Nice persona/superficiality does not sustain meaningful relationship. And her hard to get disposition shouldn't cause you to lose guard.

Both of you (not just you) should take time to know each other. To you you're convinced of your personality, but you shouldn't conclude that she would like your attributes and vise versa. This doesn't mean that both of you cannot fall for each other in the end, no.

Make her to realize that she's dispensable - get her to bare her mind to you, so that you can know your fate and stick to it. Meanwhile, up your game and stop being desperate. Good luck.

Loveprotocol:


Well, If you're saying I should relax then you're simply saying while I concentrate on other things, I should still wait for her to come around instead of looking or praying for another lady to marry?

Relax, focus on your career, pray that God should direct your own wife to you . It can be another lady.. It can be her.. But God should make your paths to meet and on that instant both should know u are meant for each other.. Not one pursuing another lady or a lady pursuing a guy endlessly saying God said he or she is the one

Life is not that stressful.. Neither meeting the bone of your bones is not that rigid.. Two people who are meant to be one.. In some cases get to know they are. Meant for. Each other when their path crosses.. It's a feeling deep in your loins and heart.. Both of u will feel the connection if not that day but within a week u will both know.. So relax, pray and continue with your career. Your own wife will come and u will see and feel she is the one. Shalom



And lastly if a lady is into you, ? She will at least answer most of your calls and messages... Ignoring u won't be part of it at all.. This lady is not into you at all.. Your mind and your spirit is deceiving you and other pastors that prayed about it.. They might pray and see u guys are compatible in character but is she your wife? The answer could be No.. So just be receptive and work towards been successful in your career oooo....

[color=#550000][/color]Op I can tell this lady is really not into you,most of the things u mentioned she does is normal, I do them too,pls direct ur prayers to God to touch her heart instead of pressing her.

Op. just be straightforward. five months is enough time to chase a lady and for her to have made up her mind. She is probably in a serious relationship and now weighing her options now that you are in the chase as well. You have told her your intentions, tell her you do not intend to force her or continue chasing her if she is not interested. Demand for an answer and move on with your life if she says no...Prophet or no prophet. If she is faced with an ultimatum, she will make up her mind quickly. Enough of the mind games both of you are playing and act like the matured adults you should be.

Ladies love being chased and sometimes men make it so easy. As soon as the man stops, we become worried and start the chasing. However, matured ladies that know what they want do not play such mind games.

Keep searching and praying for another lady and try not to appear too desperate next time.

I see her as someone that has been hurt in the past and she's trying to be careful. I won't say she has feelings for you but for her to pick up her phone to call you says a lot. Stop talking to her about marriage, take your time to know her,let her know you and let her see reasons to trust you, she will come around in no time.

My Friend, usually I don't do this , but please read what am about to say to you carefully. How long do you want to continue chasing her? 2 , if perhaps she say yes to you , can you live with this attitude when you get married? 3 a lady who want to settle down or want to love you, will never stress a thing out of you, 4 , there are certain things a lady must do before she becomes the wife, like knowing you, cooking for you, try to atlest make time for you guys to be with eachother, I for one doesn't like going to a girl house, the liberty for you to express yourself is limited. 5, desperation is a desease , i hope you haven't cram her number, be a man and do this for a while, go and meet her, tell her that it will be your last conversation about dating her, try to knw what's going on with her, if she doesn't want you, she should quit acting up and speak up, do you want to marry a woman who have this type of xracter? Pastor, don't fight with her, don't talk to much, don't wait for her to give you an answer, after telling her, walk out from her house and go home, if she doesn't do anything, she's not ready to be with you. Some women have issues, listen to them to knw what's wrong, but if nothing is wrong then she's not ready. Finally according to my Dad, if you dwell on something too much or for too long, the greater things will pass you by. At 31 you are still young, ladies are out there, don't be in boundage over someone who doesn't think about how you feel. Relationships is Give and take, care for me, I will do the same, not David and Goliath shit. She have her own life to live, do the same with yours. God bless you.

Terryindeed:
My Friend, usually I don't do this , but please read what am about to say to you carefully. How long do you want to continue chasing her? 2 , if perhaps she say yes to you , can you live with this attitude when you get married? 3 a lady who want to settle down or want to love you, will never stress a thing out of you, 4 , there are certain things a lady must do before she becomes the wife, like knowing you, cooking for you, try to atlest make time for you guys to be with eachother, I for one doesn't like going to a girl house, the liberty for you to express yourself is limited. 5, desperation is a desease , i hope you haven't cram her number, be a man and do this for a while, go and meet her, tell her that it will be your last conversation about dating her, try to knw what's going on with her, if she doesn't want you, she should quit acting up and speak up, do you want to marry a woman who have this type of xracter? Pastor, don't fight with her, don't talk to much, don't wait for her to give you an answer, after telling her, walk out from her house and go home, if she doesn't do anything, she's not ready to be with you. Some women have issues, listen to them to knw what's wrong, but if nothing is wrong then she's not ready. Finally according to my Dad, if you dwell on something too much or for too long, the greater things will pass you by. At 31 you are still young, ladies are out there, don't be in boundage over someone who doesn't think about how you feel. Relationships is Give and take, care for me, I will do the same, not David and Goliath shit. She have her own life to live, do the same with yours. God bless you.

Thanks man. I guess that's what I did the last time I visited her. I told her in clear terms that she needs to make up her mind cos I don't have the luxury of time. She just said "Okay I've heard, we will continue from here tomorrow", I said "so that's all you had to say" and she said Yes, so I bid her goodbye, handed over the gifts I brought for her and she came down from my car and I drove off. That was the last time I spoke to her, I only sent a text to her the following day and it was a deep and lengthy one. Truth be told, i'm not lusting over her, I have always known that when I meet my wife I would know but if she proves too difficult I would consider there ladies and pray about them as there are many other ladies waiting in the wings.

Lol, here is my own personal experience. I have been asked out by 3 different pastors at different times and they all followed the same format.

The first time I spoke to them was when they made the move to request for my number. From that day onward they start calling every single day just to 'greet' me! If I do not pick, they leave so many missed calls, sometimes running into double digits. And when I call back they said they just wanted to greet me. Ah ah, but you greeted me yesterday now! I did not know how to tell these brothers to let my phone rest. I don't know if this method of getting to know a girl has worked with other ladies before but it was certainly a turn off for me.

Even though they swore heaven and earth that God said I am their wife (which I knew it was a lie because I am more agnostic than I am Christian as my primary reasons for going to church is to make friends and please my parents, they were obviously mistaking my introvertedness for spirituality) I did not give them a chance. I cannot take you seriously if you say you love me when you know nothing about me.

Try to get to know the girl without putting pressure of her. One thing that could work is doing stuff together in the midst of other people like volunteering at charity events, going to church programs together. ETC.

Thanks everyone for your frank and honest opinions and advices, I really appreciate you all. Now, here's a new development, she just called me now again, saying she didn't hear me on air today (cos I anchor one of the most popular political and current affairs breakfast programme on radio in a station in the South West). I reminded her I was not feeling fine and she said she never knew or heard the other time she called which was last week, that I was sick. So she sounded concerned and was asking me the nature of my sickness and all. She promised to call regularly to check on me. Now what do you all think?

kinibigdeal:
Are you sure you heard from God?

DIES

CoCoLav:
Op. just be straightforward. five months is enough time to chase a lady and for her to have made up her mind. She is probably in a serious relationship and now weighing her options now that you are in the chase as well. You have told her your intentions, tell her you do not intend to force her or continue chasing her if she is not interested. Demand for an answer and move on with your life if she says no...Prophet or no prophet. If she is faced with an ultimatum, she will make up her mind quickly. Enough of the mind games both of you are playing and act like the matured adults you should be.

Ladies love being chased and sometimes men make it so easy. As soon as the man stops, we become worried and start the chasing. However, matured ladies that know what they want do not play such mind games.

Keep searching and praying for another lady and try not to appear too desperate next time.

I am not playing mind games with her actually, I just wanted to know if she has been pretending since that's why I create the scarcity once in a while and when I do, she reaches out to me.
I have asked her to make up her mind so that I can either include her in my long term plans or shut her out. She also made it very clear that she is not into any relationship with anybody and I've never seen her receive any call from a man whenever I'm around her.

elektra:
Lol, here is my own personal experience. I have been asked out by 3 different pastors at different times and they all followed the same format.

The first time I spoke to them was when they made the move to request for my number. From that day onward they start calling every single day just to 'greet' me! If I do not pick, they leave so many missed calls, sometimes running into double digits. And when I call back they said they just wanted to greet me. Ah ah, but you greeted me yesterday now! I did not know how to tell these brothers to let my phone rest. I don't know if this method of getting to know a girl has worked with other ladies before but it was certainly a turn off for me.

Even though they swore heaven and earth that God said I am their wife (which I knew it was a lie because I am more agnostic than I am Christian as my primary reasons for going to church is to make friends and please my parents, they were obviously mistaking my introvertedness for spirituality) I did not give them a chance. I cannot take you seriously if you say you love me when you know nothing about me.

Try to get to know the girl without putting pressure of her. One thing that could work is doing stuff together in the midst of other people like volunteering at charity events, going to church programs together. ETC.

Well I get your point but I am not being deceitful here with her, I also don't call her more than twice at once and I send her messages once or twice a day. I'm a very busy person while she is also a very busy person too, that's why going out together on a date or doing some humanitarian or charity work may be difficult to schedule for now till she is fully into me, I pray.

Terryindeed:
My Friend, usually I don't do this , but please read what am about to say to you carefully. How long do you want to continue chasing her? 2 , if perhaps she say yes to you , can you live with this attitude when you get married? 3 a lady who want to settle down or want to love you, will never stress a thing out of you, 4 , there are certain things a lady must do before she becomes the wife, like knowing you, cooking for you, try to atlest make time for you guys to be with eachother, I for one doesn't like going to a girl house, the liberty for you to express yourself is limited. 5, desperation is a desease , i hope you haven't cram her number, be a man and do this for a while, go and meet her, tell her that it will be your last conversation about dating her, try to knw what's going on with her, if she doesn't want you, she should quit acting up and speak up, do you want to marry a woman who have this type of xracter? Pastor, don't fight with her, don't talk to much, don't wait for her to give you an answer, after telling her, walk out from her house and go home, if she doesn't do anything, she's not ready to be with you. Some women have issues, listen to them to knw what's wrong, but if nothing is wrong then she's not ready. Finally according to my Dad, if you dwell on something too much or for too long, the greater things will pass you by. At 31 you are still young, ladies are out there, don't be in boundage over someone who doesn't think about how you feel. Relationships is Give and take, care for me, I will do the same, not David and Goliath shit. She have her own life to live, do the same with yours. God bless you.

Thanks bro I appreciate you. She has called me this evening again o.

Loveprotocol:


Thanks for this, I appreciate you. Exactly my thoughts. I don't want to come across as desperate or obsessed man. I guess the attention at first got into her head and she felt "well, he is convinced I'm the one, so let me just enjoy the chase since he has nowhere else to go". Unfortunately, I'm deeply in love with her. I've not contacted her sine October 18 now but even that is tough for me even though I must confess, i'm also tired of the care free attitude she's putting up. Maybe I said too much ab initio

You are wrong actually. She doesn't want you. You might feel at 28 she should be in a hurry and should at least show some signs. Or she should consider you because you seem more serious with marriage plans.

The thing is you have no idea how she sees you from her own end, while you view her as being Angelic, the best thing since slice bread etc. She could see you for less than you actually are or no chemistry to connect with you and another thing could be your approach which I sense to be TOO FAST.

Any attempt to force it could spell doom for you.

I was also towing your line not long ago with a girl I served with. She dated a guy during our service year until 2014 but dude wasn't really serious and treated her like trash.

She has good manners, good home skills, beautiful and dedicated to her Christian life. I looked at these qualities and felt oh wow, she would make me have peace and so I made my intentions known to her BUT she just wouldn't digg me, no matter how much I try. I had to meet someone one facebook who knew her and also my friend. After narrating everything to her, she to told me to let the girl go. Knowing that she always gave matured counsel, I took her advice. Though the final nail on the coffin was when I told the girl that I called her previous day cos I was thinking about her. Her reply was "K" it just shows how I am regarded and I felt insulted.

I waited for a month to calm down and gave her a piece of my mind and then deleted all her contacts from my phone, including pictures, every damn thing about her.


It's best to cut off her completely and move on. Women plenty for naija.

And please, not sound like non believer, stop saying God reveal she is the one for you. She does not feel connected to you for reasons best known to her and does not like you.

Loveprotocol:

I am not playing mind games with her actually, I just wanted to know if she has been pretending since that's why I create the scarcity once in a while and when I do, she reaches out to me.
I have asked her to make up her mind so that I can either include her in my long term plans or shut her out. She also made it very clear that she is not into any relationship with anybody and[b] I've never seen her receive any call from a man whenever I'm around her[/b].

I mentioned mind games because you stop calling her for one week, she calls you the next. You start calling her, she starts her forming again and the cycle goes on..

At the bolded, trust me it does not count.

mastermaestro:
Since you are a Christian, I'll attempt to look at this from a faith and revelatory perspective.

1. Are you really sure that she is the one? There was a pastor that pressured a woman into marrying him even when she initially wasn't interested in the union. All because a well-known prophet (of blessed memory) and another prophet 'confirmed' that the said woman was the one. The said pastor died this year. He quit ministry out of frustration by the woman that was 'prophesied' for him.

2. Never force anyone into marriage with you even if it was GOD'S will. Never! You may find it difficult to understand this now.

3. GOD can change HIS mind about a person when the person in question falls from GOD'S original plan. Something could go wrong between the time of initial approval and the actual event. Be sensitive to changes.

4. You seem to have been taken over by emotion on this issue.

5. You also are pushing to marry largely because everyone wants you to. This could blur your ability to sense danger.

6. Are there other options other than this lady?

7. That she is acting difficult does not automatically mean that she is the 'one' for you. This is a general flawed assumption. You are hanging on simply because she isn't giving in easily.

8. Dreams sometimes are slaves to one's momentary feelings.

OP, if you ignore this post, face this consequences of your stubbornness.

Loveprotocol:

Thanks bro I appreciate you. She has called me this evening again o.

Great!!! That is a sliver of HOPE to hold on to...the scripture say "hope that maketh nor ashamed.."
Patience is a virtue & if you indeed HEARD genuinely from God, then let patience have her perfect work. She is interested but scared!!

Bros, I think she likes you but taking her time to ensure it is not another mistake.
Pls, stop rushing her. She will come around.
Don't call her very often again and see how it goes.
May God grant your heart desire.

Loveprotocol:
Thanks everyone for your frank and honest opinions and advices, I really appreciate you all. Now, here's a new development, she just called me now again, saying she didn't hear me on air today (cos I anchor one of the most popular political and current affairs breakfast programme on radio in a station in the South West). I reminded her I was not feeling fine and she said she never knew or heard the other time she called which was last week, that I was sick. So she sounded concerned and was asking me the nature of my sickness and all. She promised to call regularly to check on me. Now what do you all think?

Loveprotocol:
Thanks everyone for your frank and honest opinions and advices, I really appreciate you all. Now, here's a new development, she just called me now again, saying she didn't hear me on air today (cos I anchor one of the most popular political and current affairs breakfast programme on radio in a station in the South West). I reminded her I was not feeling fine and she said she never knew or heard the other time she called which was last week, that I was sick. So she sounded concerned and was asking me the nature of my sickness and all. She promised to call regularly to check on me. Now what do you all think?

Yippppy! The dust is about to be settled!

Oga, I was gonna say maybe she's scared you would dull the heck out of her life by being too pastorly/prophetly. Trust me, some ladies are scared of over sanctimonious people who would not allow themselves or people around them live lively! No freedom of expression...one can't even successfully commit a legitimate 'error' without the church going bunkers

Anyways, going by your convo with her, it appears she cares more than she lets on. She listens to your show and notices when you aren't there! Good for you.

My advice, don't be as overzealous as you were initially. Allow her room to express herself too. Infact, the next time you two are together, ask the 'tell me about yourself' question and do not say much to fill the viod her silence might cause. Eventually, she would be forced to fill in. By the way, a convo-less meeting between you two might just give you insight on what to expect from her...you might even get lucky to glimpse presence of chemistry or physics. Thinking about two fancies staring at each other across the table for a long time is giving even me, the spectator, heat ( no mind me o I be Christian )

All in all, I hope you aren't making yourself unlikeable by being in her face too much(the times you are around her). Most of you pastors talk too much anyways

Amelian:
Op the lady is not interested.. Simple... No need wasting time and emotions on her.. She sees u as a joker.. Let her be and concentrate more on the church and other things... In time, things will fall. In place.... They always fall in place at the right time.. Then u will know for sure, if she's the one or not.. Just relax.

Sista, don't worry...More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her she's the Chosen One !

Pipu and their mumu sef ehn..no be here oh !

truthsayer007:


Sista, don't worry...More than 6 Prophets have also prayed about her she's the Chosen One !

Pipu and their mumu sef ehn..no be here oh !

Lol... Abeg no vex oo
The Chosen one indeed... Lol
Make I no talk too much

You've made me laugh this morning..

But nice one.. Keep trying mumu

Best of luck...cheers

I wund av prefer telli u some tricks to win her bt since u came out as a spiritual guy, let me also be spiritual with u. My bros i av a question for u, if GOD show a picture of a red ferrari car, is it in faith for u to go price it?

Oga Man of God,


how are you so sure she's not in another relationship already ? no matter how much she maybe playing hard to get the moment you told her you are sick is the period she suppose to show relax herself and show some care. its not about coming to check on you personally but at least she should've asked for the nature of your sickness , what you have done already and what needs to be done then the next day she should've called .


I personally don't believe in all this prophecy and revelation of a thing because I have seen lots of prophecy gone wrong and someone close to is still suffering in a conman house because of some false prophecy and revelation.



My advice to you is to slow down , have some very deep thinking about this issue without applying any sentiment and let your senses guide your next move.

She is not interested in you. Because some prophets told you a girl that did not even show interest in you is the one for you, does not mean she thinks so. She has a right to reject your proposal as she should know at that age if you are for her. You obviously are not, so your prophets are fake prophets. Try and look for a girl that is interested in you to prevent further heartbreak. She is not interested. And stop seeking the help of prophets and all sorts on people that don't even care for you. She's not interested. I personally would never have given face to anyone that carries my name up and down. It says a lot about your mental stability and your belief in visions and other strange things. Life is tough enough than to live with someone always in one spiritual quagmire or the other.

MOVE ON and LEAVe that girl alone. SHE'S NOT INTERESTED! SHE'S AN ADULT, SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS AND HE'S NOT, AND CANNOT BE YOU! I wrote in CAPS because stalkers like you keep reading meanings that are not there and trying to rationalize actions of hers that are only in your head. Stop convincing yourself that you are her future husband. You are NOT.

Bro, abeg be patient with her, she likes you but she is just being careful, for her to have observed you didn't anchor your usual program, dt mean she follows you up secretly..... she is like me who believes in total commitment in a relationship, I commit my spirit, soul and body into a relationship, that kind of person wouldn't want any form of disappointment , that is why she is taking her time to be sure, then you haven't really heard about her past, who knows maybe she don suffer from men..so just be patient with her.

She is only probably taking her time. I don't think she's in a relationship. She cares about you deep down but she is too scared to show you the vulnerable part of her cos she's been hurt too many times and is scared of loving again.

My advise, offer her friendship instead. Tell her to forget about the relationship thing for now and be just friends with her, it will avail you more opportunity to know stuffs about her. If after a while, the feeling is mutual, things will fall into place and you'll have the woman of your dreams but if not, please move on, you'll find someone who is the bone of your bone. All the best OP.

Cc Loveprotocol

Mimzyy:
She is only probably taking her time. I don't think she's in a relationship. She cares about you deep down but she is too scared to show you the vulnerable part of her cos she's been hurt too many times and is scared of loving again.

My advise, offer her friendship instead. Tell her to forget about the relationship thing for now and be just friends with her, it will avail you more opportunity to know stuffs about her. If after a while, the feeling is mutual, things will fall into place and you'll have the woman of your dreams but if not, please move on, you'll find someone who is the bone of your bone. All the best OP.

Cc Loveprotocol

op, pls listen to ds advise

That's why I hate this society! They coerce you into doing things just to conform. It takes quite a lot of energy to put off what they throw @ your face.
They tell us when to marry, when to have children, in fact, I'm sure they wish they could tell us when to die too.

If you had just gone with the flow and allow you and your future partner meet at the ordained time, you won't be stuck in this situation.

What happened to being friends first before choking her with marriage promises?

Live your life calmly, no pressure...

Why is everybody thinking she is not interested?

Loveprotocol just be patient, shes probably thinking about the proposal and trying to be careful, that's all.


If she is not she won't have called you up, in fact she wouldn't have tuned to your program not to talk of noticing you were absent. She may actually be doing serious checks on you now at least she too would have to pray about it since shes a spiritual person or do you expect her to go ahead based on your own confirmation? A lot of ladies do not just say yes to proposals of people they have not known well.

Just be patient joor, its not a big issue and please this one you say you guys don't have time for dates its not a good thing too. Even if its someone's wedding invite her. You can also go observe her in her church on a sunday You know more about people when you see them interacting with others.


I have heard stranger/more difficult stories and they are married happily.This one is small now.

Don't rush her, just let it flow she will come around.

May God grant you your heart desire bro.