₦airaland Forum

I just married my husband back here in August. I even asked him before we got serious that if had a wife/girlfriend over there he wanted to bring over here (the States) just let me know..don't string me along, just let me know & I would just help. I know how it is so hard for immigrants & some lengths they go thru to get a Green Card.

Both our Pastors & the majority of his family that were here in the States attended the ceremony. The next day, as a surprise, his senior Aunt & Uncle provided me with the "traditional wear" for Nigerian brides to help my husband to feel some of his culture to be extended into our marriage cos we didn't have much time to plan.

The problem lays with his "ex-wife"..through a few family members, they confirmed she was "just a girlfriend". They never performed the traditional Nigerian wedding and/or never made it legal. They just called each other husband/wife for the fact they were intended for marriage later down the road. But while he's been in the States & for the past two years, before he was married to me, he kept his Facebook status as "single", even when I tagged him as having a relationship with me..he didn't change his relationship status till the day we were married. His ex even confronted him about his status change at one time then "felt better" cos his page said "single" while mine said "in a relationship" before we got married. He never told her of our marriage coming up till I found out about her & made it known to her a few days before we got married.

She didn't even have any old pix of them together posted up on Facebook herself as well as him. I was being Inspector Gadget cos I don't want to invest my time & heart for something that was a waste.

I just want to know why he can't leave her alone. Just the just YESTERDAY the ex posted a comment on his nephew's page that he re-posted a pic of that I took cos that's how good the picture looked & none of his family had seen updates in awhile outside the few wedding pix..she said "see my boo of life swagger". She had blocked me on FB so I originally couldn't see the post but one of HIS family members took a pic of it & showed it to me. I let her know right after that IM his "boo of life" cos IM the one married to him.

I even reported him to his brother about how he's broken his promise & gotten back in contact with her after blocking/banning her on all platforms.

So do I seriously need to worry about this girl?!?! Is his family covering for him & he plans on bringing her here?!?! Why wouldn't it be easy just to stop communicating with her now that he's married if this marriage is truly valid?? His excuse is: he's known her a long time. But I'm his wife & Ive explained numerous times how it's making me feel due to the fact Marriage for Green Card is so common practice here & the deceit to get it. It doesn't matter what country the immigrant is from.

And if this sounds like culturally, that this marriage is valid, just give me the advice I need to know to get him to stop communicating with her so I can stay settled. I almost rather him cheat on me here instead than worry that I'm being duped so he can bring somebody he loves more over here. He said he's "proven" his love by me meeting his family. But Naiji families will cover for their sons/brothers even more so than any other culture. That was another appeal to me to marry him cos of the strong family morals of the culture cos of my own shakey family relationships that are weak.

badejob:
The problem lays with his "ex-wife"..through a few family members, they confirmed she was "just a girlfriend". They never performed the traditional Nigerian wedding and/or never made it legal. They just called each other husband/wife for the fact they were intended for marriage later down the road. But while he's been in the States & for the past two years, before he was married to me, he kept his Facebook status as "single", even when I tagged him as having a relationship with me..he didn't change his relationship status till the day we were married. His ex even confronted him about his status change at one time then "felt better" cos his page said "single" while mine said "in a relationship" before we got married.

he's attached to her in some way.... dey were either married n still are , or r in a relationship... wateva da situation it doesn't look like he gon' leave her alone oo .... he gave u his answer ~~~ he's known her for a long time . u knew of her b4 u married him , it's lyk u saw fire buh jumped in it anyway . he may be using u for green card to bring her to da u.s lyk u already know . nothing u can do to make him leave her...he didn't leave her before he married u , he sure ain't gon' leave her now . watch how tins unfold for some months... if he still doesn't leave her u berra say bye bye to da marriage b4 he breaks ur heart , ur wallet n uses u for green card to boot . not too late 2 walk . wateva u do , don't get pregnant n have a baby for him anytime soon cus if u want to get a divorce it wud be easier 2 do if no kid between u . don't make da mistake of finking having a baby for him gon change him ooo , it won't ooo . i don talk my own ~~~

But he blocked/banned her for a little while..and when I found out, he even SWORE & PROMISED he would leave her alone.

badejob:
But he blocked/banned her for a little while..and when I found out, he even SWORE & PROMISED he would leave her alone.

Seriously, you should have come here to ask first before getting married. And also, why is it that you ladies constantly fall for the wrong brothers? There are several Nigerian brothers in the US without visa issues, doing well, why don't you date THOSE guys? I hate to break it to you, but the Green card marriage guys know the type of ladies they target.

He "swore and promised", has that ever stopped anyone from lying before? Your best bet is to delay filing for him or is it too late to get a lawyer draft up a prenup? That is for any reason he calls off the marriage before 6 years of Marriage, you literally get his life. Keep every piece of evidence. Do not have a baby, not unless you badly want one because it will not keep him if he's ditching you for her. I have never heard of a Naija guy that calls his gf "my wife" just because they love each other. This guy did not publicly claim you on his social media, you did all the hard work and you still went on to marry him. And you are looking for a way to get him to stop communicating with "his ex"? Newsflash: you don't need to tell him, if he wanted to, he would have. If he was 100% yours, you wouldn't need to "fight for your man", messaging his "ex-wife".

Yous should have asked all these questions first like the person above me said.

Are you African American Op?What you need to do is hold off getting pregnant now and use the next few months to evaluate your marriage.Families cover up for their children as you have observed so you'll need to be a good inspector gadget and make your findings.

Your husband might actually have a 'wife' back home.

badejob:
But he blocked/banned her for a little while..and when I found out, he even SWORE & PROMISED he would leave her alone.

The simple answer to all ur story is that the man is still married to the lady in Nigeria. You nearly got them but they twisted you by saying it was cultural to call someone "wife " bla bla bla. The decision is urs about the next step to take. And please don't get pregnant ooooo.

So him being 37 & not having his own kids, etc might've not influenced him wanting me & "trying to have a baby"??

badejob:
So him being 37 & not having his own kids, etc might've not influenced him wanting me & "trying to have a baby"??

Come again.

Op,are you African American?

badejob:
So him being 37 & not having his own kids, etc might've not influenced him wanting me & "trying to have a baby"??

We could sit here and analyse and ask you questions and wait for replies and talk and eventually get to this point again. But as much as it hurts, the truth is, the chances of this being a green card marriage is very high. You can tell yourself whatever you want, but you have already mentioned a few common red flags. Again, there are lots of decent Nigerian guys out there whom their foreign gfs/wives are not here asking us "do you think he is playing me?".
It hurts but you were aware and closed your eyes and covered your ears to reality. Ask yourself these 2 questions:

1."Why was I informing his ex-wife/gf that we were getting married, is that my concern or my place to do so? Why did I feel the need to 'Fight for My Man?"

2. "What's the explanation behind the fact that when she found out about me, she got upset and then later got reassured by visiting his fb page, what gave her reassurance?"

badejob:
But he blocked/banned her for a little while..and when I found out, he even SWORE & PROMISED he would leave her alone.

dis op be pikin ni ? he swore n promised never to do it again buh he has n he gon do it again . look at his actions not his words .

badejob:
So him being 37 & not having his own kids, etc might've not influenced him wanting me & "trying to have a baby"??

op it seems u r dumb as hell . sorry , just giving u tough luv... u r dumb . i already told u not to have a baby for him . all u r doing is making excuses... he swore n promised never to do it again , maybe be wants to hv a baby with u ....... ialready told u not to hv a baby for dis man anytime soon , until dis other woman vamooses . iknow 2 men.... 37, 38 yr olds who have children but dey r not with their baby mamas . dis yr one story made da news in da uk.... a man married a UK woman , got his papers BC of her, has 3 kids with her but a few yrs later ( dis yr ) he dumped her to go marry his "ex- girlfriend" in 9ja . worst part is he didn't give a damn about da woman wit 3 kids when he was questioned , he gave one mean reply like "SO WHAT?!! I MARRIED MY Ex , SO. WHAT!" Buh err, wat abt ur wife in da UK wit 3 kids ? we were all asking wat kinda man be dis ?? don't be fooled by age . he may want to hv a kid bc he's 37buh dat don't mean it gon keep him if he has a bond wit another woman....

many pple use other pple for green card , it's notin new , just dat many women r fooled into thinking it's real love . Buh u saw all da signs n signs dat he has another woman n married him anyway . he didn't change before ur marriage , he hasn't changed since ur marriage to him . up to u to see da situation for wat it is n stop making excuses

thorpido:
Come again.

Op,are you African American?

No..

She posted pix of another man calling him her "boo of life", so I guess my instinct was right that she did that just to draw him back to her once she found out he had married me without her knowledge..initially he was ignoring all phone calls, etc even when I wasn't around..wasn't even really replying to her text or anything..but once she did that, all the sudden he's picking up her calls, etc..*sigh* I'm not dumb..just a hurting woman..we "fall for this stuff", cos of the treatment..the going over & beyond to provide no matter what. The times I ask for something, he gets it PLUS more if possible..the standard treatment we're supposed to be getting versus these American men treating us like trash..the cold part, he just had to be honest..I would've helped cos I've worked with many Nigerian men & seen the struggle to bring their families & the admiration & respect that I have for the culture in general..so please don't call me..I'm just a very attached woman that's hurting..

badejob:
She posted pix of another man calling him her "boo of life", so I guess my instinct was right that she did that just to draw him back to her once she found out he had married me without her knowledge..initially he was ignoring all phone calls, etc even when I wasn't around..wasn't even really replying to her text or anything..but once she did that, all the sudden he's picking up her calls, etc..*sigh* I'm not dumb..just a hurting woman..we "fall for this stuff", cos of the treatment..the going over & beyond to provide no matter what. The times I ask for something, he gets it PLUS more if possible..the standard treatment we're supposed to be getting versus these American men treating us like trash..the cold part, he just had to be honest..I would've helped cos I've worked with many Nigerian men & seen the struggle to bring their families & the admiration & respect that I have for the culture in general..so please don't call me..I'm just a very attached woman that's hurting..

Keep talking to your hubby about the issue.Be smart to follow up on communication between them to know what's going on.
Most importantly,hold off getting pregnant now until your are most assured of your husband's commitment to your marriage.

badejob:
She posted pix of another man calling him her "boo of life", so I guess my instinct was right that she did that just to draw him back to her once she found out he had married me without her knowledge..initially he was ignoring all phone calls, etc even when I wasn't around..wasn't even really replying to her text or anything..but once she did that, all the sudden he's picking up her calls, etc..*sigh* I'm not dumb..just a hurting woman..we "fall for this stuff", cos of the treatment..the going over & beyond to provide no matter what. The times I ask for something, he gets it PLUS more if possible..the standard treatment we're supposed to be getting versus these American men treating us like trash..the cold part, he just had to be honest..I would've helped cos I've worked with many Nigerian men & seen the struggle to bring their families & the admiration & respect that I have for the culture in general..so please don't call me..I'm just a very attached woman that's hurting..

The problem with people like you is that you feel somebody is always trying to take advantage of you.Every marriages has is own problem especially in the 1st year.
No one knows a man heart but we all assume,hope and believe

My advice is that in every of your quiet moment think and search your heart deeply for the answer to your challenges always lies there. But before any decision you take always be a good and support wife

this one don enta one chance

badejob:
So him being 37 & not having his own kids, etc might've not influenced him wanting me & "trying to have a baby"??

Oh Lawd! Not again.

My dear are you white or black?

There are about 7 billion humans on the surface of this planet and a sizeable number of them male of marriageable age. Why would you settle for someone with so much drama surrounding his life?

You should have stopped wedding proceedings until you were absolutely sure of this guy's status.

Well it's done.

You have the advantage of proximity. Show him much love, and since you're legally married to him, make efforts to conceive and bear his child. Maybe that will make him focus on his family instead of an old flame. (Not guaranteed though).

Remember, don't be too clingy, but show him love and RESPECT.

Wish you the best.

Oh BTW don't give up on your marriage just yet. You're his wife not the other woman. Make your marriage work. Throw everything you've got into it, even the kitchen sink.

ElsonMorali:
Oh Lawd! Not again.

My dear are you white or black?

There are about 7 billion humans on the surface of this planet and a sizeable number of them male of marriageable age. Why would you settle for someone with so much drama surrounding his life?

You should have stopped wedding proceedings until you were absolutely sure of this guy's status.

Well it's done.

You have the advantage of proximity. Show him much love, and since you're legally married to him, make efforts to conceive and bear his child. Maybe that will make him focus on his family instead of an old flame. (Not guaranteed though).

Remember, don't be too clingy, but show him love and RESPECT.

Wish you the best.

Oh BTW don't give up on your marriage just yet. You're his wife not the other woman. Make your marriage work. Throw everything you've got into it, even the kitchen sink.

Does the color of my skin really MATTER?! And I'm mixed: Mexican/Italian. BOTH parents immigrants but I was born here! Is there a way that I can double-check is marriage status there in Nigeria? Cos the part I read up on, even if they had a church wedding, the law wouldn't even recognize it until they went through all the procedures..basically, that means you can get married as many times you wanted in the church & none of them would be valid before God's eyes..she's never changed her last name, either..as long as I'm the VALID wife in God's eyes, then my prayers are being reached to Hod & He's listening..but if she's the valud one, I have no rights!! One of his cousin's are trying to reassure me that I'm the one with the mandate, right?? That's it's just the bone of contention on her part that I have the mandate..but why can't he just leave her be?!!! Something more gotta be to it is what I'm saying!! So is there a website like here in the US, that you can check for marriage registries so I can be 100% certain?? Cos his own brother won't answer me straight whether they were validly married..

badejob:
Does the color of my skin really MATTER?! And I'm mixed: Mexican/Italian. BOTH parents immigrants but I was born here! Is there a way that I can double-check is marriage status there in Nigeria? Cos the part I read up on, even if they had a church wedding, the law wouldn't even recognize it until they went through all the procedures..basically, that means you can get married as many times you wanted in the church & none of them would be valid before God's eyes..she's never changed her last name, either..as long as I'm the VALID wife in God's eyes, then my prayers are being reached to Hod & He's listening..but if she's the valud one, I have no rights!! One of his cousin's are trying to reassure me that I'm the one with the mandate, right?? That's it's just the bone of contention on her part that I have the mandate..but why can't he just leave her be?!!! Something more gotta be to it is what I'm saying!! So is there a website like here in the US, that you can check for marriage registries so I can be 100% certain?? Cos his own brother won't answer me straight whether they were validly married..

The bolded was what I wanted to know.
Badejob,look into his eyes and ask him if he had a court or registry wedding with this woman.His response might give you an inkling that he is telling you the truth or not.
Like I advised earlier,put the wedding on probation.Hold off getting pregnant for a while.Use the next few months to assess,probe and evaluate.He could be married to you just for the papers or not.
Time will tell.

Is he rich? If the answer is YES, then there is a likelihood that you're the ONE.






If he depends on you for survival, forget it, you're about to be duped. This is the simple truth all Nigerians know, but only few will tell.

badejob:
Does the color of my skin really MATTER?! And I'm mixed: Mexican/Italian. BOTH parents immigrants but I was born here! Is there a way that I can double-check is marriage status there in Nigeria? Cos the part I read up on, even if they had a church wedding, the law wouldn't even recognize it until they went through all the procedures..basically, that means you can get married as many times you wanted in the church & none of them would be valid before God's eyes..she's never changed her last name, either..as long as I'm the VALID wife in God's eyes, then my prayers are being reached to Hod & He's listening..but if she's the valud one, I have no rights!! One of his cousin's are trying to reassure me that I'm the one with the mandate, right?? That's it's just the bone of contention on her part that I have the mandate..but why can't he just leave her be?!!! Something more gotta be to it is what I'm saying!! So is there a website like here in the US, that you can check for marriage registries so I can be 100% certain?? Cos his own brother won't answer me straight whether they were validly married..

Is he well-educated, a professional guy, white collar job? Doctor, lawyer, Engineer? Do you stay in the Tri-state area or TX or GA? Did you two date for less than a year then he popped the question? If he got married to his ex in the Catholic church, it's pretty valid and they normally take your marriage documents to a govt office. And no, you cannot marry a million times in a Catholic church in Nigeria, the church sends Marriage Banns to your village/State of Origin and announce it in your parish of residence, in order to find out if you were married. How did you find out she never changed her lastname, I didn't, not even on fb, people do a change of name in the national newspapers (requirement in order to change your names on legal documents I think), so if she didn't want her passport and ID to reflect a new name, she can easily not do it.

Do not file his green card for him, until you're 100% sure he's yours.
If you've started the proceedings, maybe you should ask for them to halt it for now till you're sure of his true intentions. No one likes being played or defrauded.
I know sime Nigerian men and women who have married for green card purposes, and it was always an arrangement with some cash exchanging hands. If he had wanted that, he should have told you, paid you and not involve your families in all the razzmatazz. He's just been cheap. Though its also against the law to marry for such purposes, whether paying for it or deceiving gullible folks with "true" love.

He's not of Catholic faith..but my point is that the Bible says to uphold the laws of the land as long it doesn't go against God's Word..that legal marriage is what makes it important for God to recognize it as a valid marriage, otherwise, you could go to a church to marry over & Over technically speaking..he said they had never married in the church but were "legally engaged"?? That was right before we got married & I found out..she does call me his wife &I told him bitterly "happy married life" once she saw the FB posts afterwards..my thing that vexes me the most is that she is constantly is asking for money!! He has spent all his savings recently on keeping us afloat when I lost my job..money I wasn't aware he had..he was ALWAYS giving her excuses why he couldn't give it to her..full-blown arguments most times!!

He's was well-educated there in Nigeria, an accountant..actually, he was better off there than over here..unfortunately, the US doesn't recognize any foreign educational systems/degrees..that actually burns me up!! So he has to completely start over here in the States..like I said, he exhausted all his savings when I lost my job..it kinda pissed me off for him not to have told me about them!! Cos he could've filed for his papers the day after we got married & he could've legally been working at a MUCH BETTER job!! The US immigration laws are crazy over here &I the economy isn't as good as people think!! I actually suggested a few times for us to move to Nigeria instead since he could better provide for us over there versus here..he's stubborn..he wants to stay here..

My thing is, do you know what common-law marriage is?? It's when a man &a woman CLAIMS married & over here in my state, they have to live together for 6 months before they can get legally married later with no ceremony, etc..do you think that is why they claimed husband/wife titles??

Before we even got married, all his Nigerian friends called me his wife like that before we made it legal..so could it have been the same for them before they made it legal?? I mean this could be resolved for me to look up status, right?? He can receive a Nigerian passport without putting his legal marriage status on it, right??

All I want to know is how to concretely find out his legal marriage status over there..see it for myself..it will then help me know my marriage validity before God's eyes & I will know God will resolve this issue in itself if I am indeed the valid wife before Him..

badejob:
Does the color of my skin really MATTER?! And I'm mixed: Mexican/Italian. BOTH parents immigrants but I was born here! Is there a way that I can double-check is marriage status there in Nigeria? Cos the part I read up on, even if they had a church wedding, the law wouldn't even recognize it until they went through all the procedures..basically, that means you can get married as many times you wanted in the church & none of them would be valid before God's eyes..she's never changed her last name, either..as long as I'm the VALID wife in God's eyes, then my prayers are being reached to Hod & He's listening..but if she's the valud one, I have no rights!! One of his cousin's are trying to reassure me that I'm the one with the mandate, right?? That's it's just the bone of contention on her part that I have the mandate..but why can't he just leave her be?!!! Something more gotta be to it is what I'm saying!! So is there a website like here in the US, that you can check for marriage registries so I can be 100% certain?? Cos his own brother won't answer me straight whether they were validly married..

Unfortunately there isn't a website where you can check. All intended couples are required to collect a certificate from the registry which is then taken to the Church.

If he or the lady is Catholic, and they got married legally they probably had a Church wedding. You could get the name of their parishes from your in-laws (I don't know how you're going to do that), then you could search for that parish online and give the priest a call.

If the family members have assured you that he didn't legally marry the girl and you're his legal wife then I think you've got nothing to worry about concerning the legality of your marriage to him.

Move close to his family in the States and develop a good rapport with them. Nigerians are a communal people.

Once you're accepted by his family, they'll be the ones to call their son to order.

But I think you should have a heart-to-heart with your husband. Let him know that his communication with his ex gf bothers you and that it's too soon to start thinking of divorce unless he plans on bringing her to the US. Then watch his reaction.

I wish you the best.

ElsonMorali:
Unfortunately there isn't a website where you can check. All intended couples are required to collect a certificate from the registry which is then taken to the Church.

If he or the lady is Catholic, and they got married legally they probably had a Church wedding. You could get the name of their parishes from your in-laws (I don't know how you're going to do that), then you could search for that parish online and give the priest a call.

If the family members have assured you that he didn't legally marry the girl and you're his legal wife then I think you've got nothing to worry about concerning the legality of your marriage to him.

Move close to his family in the States and develop a good rapport with them. Nigerians are a communal people.

Once you're accepted by his family, they'll be the ones to call their son to order.

But I think you should have a heart-to-heart with your husband. Let him know that his communication with his ex gf bothers you and that it's too soon to start thinking of divorce unless he plans on bringing her to the US. Then watch his reaction.

I wish you the best.

His brother "called him to order" once already when I left home..he is the one to have made my husband swear no more contact with her and ban her on all platforms..HIS OWN cousin told me just to "pretend she doesn't exist so I could enjoy my marriage"..like I told her, I can't when my husband is breaking promises!! His senior Aunt & Uncle attended our wedding despite our short notification..his senior Uncle flew out of Boston to Dallas!! Surely, he wouldn't have done that if this was a Green Card marriage, right?!?!

badejob:
His brother "called him to order" once already when I left home..he is the one to have made my husband swear no more contact with her and ban her on all platforms..HIS OWN cousin told me just to "pretend she doesn't exist so I could enjoy my marriage"..like I told her, I can't when my husband is breaking promises!! His senior Aunt & Uncle attended our wedding despite our short notification..his senior Uncle flew out of Boston to Dallas!! Surely, he wouldn't have done that if this was a Green Card marriage, right?!?!

Babe, forget all this. You've said a lot of things but it's in your best interests to calm down and think "what next". Quite a few people talking to you understand the US, so they know what they're talking about. Make the best of things, get close to his family and focus on your marriage. If he has refused to file for his papers just yet, don't push it. You are legally his wife in the United States so focus on that. He has to publicly claim you as his wife and break off all contact with the other lady.

Soon all dis big big grammar go turn to reality,then everybody eyes go clear

badejob:
His brother "called him to order" once already when I left home..he is the one to have made my husband swear no more contact with her and ban her on all platforms..HIS OWN cousin told me just to "pretend she doesn't exist so I could enjoy my marriage"..like I told her, I can't when my husband is breaking promises!! His senior Aunt & Uncle attended our wedding despite our short notification..his senior Uncle flew out of Boston to Dallas!! Surely, he wouldn't have done that if this was a Green Card marriage, right?!?!

Right. If it was a sham wedding you won't see any of his family members there.

His family's attendance shows they have regard for you. So just follow his cousin's advice, relax, pretend she doesn't exist, enjoy your marriage, use the advantage of proximity and build your home.
Nigerians love kids, so get on with that if it's part of your marriage plans to have kids.

Just an update: I'm not going to do evil for evil..I WILL MOVE OUT AT THE FIRST OF THE YEAR..I am going to show him that he didn't have to lie..he just had to be honest..I'm so wounded deeply but I will help him file anyways & no divorce until his permanent card comes in..he has to wait for 2 years for that one..I'm not going to charge him anything like I first promised..

At the end of the day, I'm an intelligent 35 yr old woman..I know this man's actions do not match what he says..I'm not a silly school girl fighting for a man's affection..the bottom line is: I wouldn't had to have to come to this platform to address this..I was just hurting & in denial..

A man wouldn't risk EVERYTHING just to communicate with an ex after being reported to his brother & me leaving home..my value & concerns as his wife would've been way more valuable..his years past with her wouldn't had mattered..he wouldn't had felt the need to lock his phone on me to hide the fact..he wouldn't have threatened divorce during the heat of the moment & defended his reasons for breaking his promises & still communicate, especially when I have stated over & over my worries & how that made me feel like this was a Green Card marriage..even after everything settled with the heat, he would've found some way to reassure me his vows meant something..I waited for DAYS for that..in fact, he pushed for his papers today before I left work..humph, like I said: actions don't match his words or vows..

Thanks for everyone's support & advice..

badejob:
Before we even got married, all his Nigerian friends called me his wife

Don't fall for that please. You will be surprised to know they probably attended the wedding ceremony of the other lady. Nigerian guys?!

OP I feel your pain. I can't imagine how much it hurts to think you found the one and it was all just a sham. Continue to believe in God and he will bring you a man that deserves you. Nemesis will eventually catch up with him.

ElsonMorali:
Right. If it was a sham wedding you won't see any of his family members there.

.

This really got me cracking.

ElsonMorali:
His family's attendance shows they have regard for you.

Why won't they have regard for her when they know the advantage they want and how valuable she is to their plans.

ElsonMorali:
, so get on with that if it's part of your marriage plans to have kids.

And when the man leave her with the kids ,wiill u support her financially ?

@op,the ball is in your court,as you lay your bed you will lie on it .

CoCoLav:


Don't fall for that please. You will be surprised to know they probably attended the wedding ceremony of the other lady. Nigerian guys?!

OP I feel your pain. I can't imagine how much it hurts to think you found the one and it was all just a sham. Continue to believe in God and he will bring you a man that deserves you. Nemesis will eventually catch up with him.

Dem no dey teach person oooo
Experience is always the best teacher