₦airaland Forum

Laveda:
No, I've never been in support of that.

Except in cases where the woman is sick, then the husband can help, or he just choose to, if not I don't see any reason why the woman would be idle and the man would go inside the kitchen to cook.
If a woman who's up to 30 can't cook well, I wonder what else she's good at, who'll cook the good food for the family? Lol its just ridiculous.

skarlett:
This is just the truth, nice one darkrebel

Lalasticlala food don land

crazymommy:
GOD bless you for this post...I do not see any reason why people should take this cooking as a big deal.....Anyone that cannot cook should simply go and learn how to cook and stop disturbing our ears..

kayStelly:
You mean all these long story just because u can't cook

Joavid:
A Naija guy is wooing you, next thing he asking if you can cook and I always reply, No I don't cook except am in the mood to do so.

Cooking is not my favourite thing to do and I make them understand from day one.

metallisc:
this one that you are just supporting the notion in the post, i hope say you sabi cook well well o!
i wan increase my toasting!!!

crazymommy:
GOD bless you for this post...I do not see any reason why people should take this cooking as a big deal.....Anyone that cannot cook should simply go and learn how to cook and stop disturbing our ears..

Adiwana:
I cook well and very diverse when it comes to cooking but what's with Africans&trying to copy oyinbo people.Always trying to compare their lives with their Western counterparts. So far as African culture&Igbo culture where I come from its concerned, one of the attributes that makes you a good wife is your ability to prepare a good meal.Why on Earth will i marry a woman that cant cook?so I have a wife,then I go outside to eat?why did i pay her bride price in the first place?
I can do the cooking occasionally, depending on the situation, but to have a woman that cant cook/bad cook is entirely off the book.
To me a woman that cant cook has no where near my home&signifies poor upbringing from the mother&making a good wife,I doubt that
mehn,the African man is really losing it,I swear with this kind of mentality of the op

Pidgin2:
Starving yourself because your wife is not available at the time is your call. Even when she is around why can't you surprise her with breakfast in bed? Or cook a romantic dinner just to make her feel like a queen sometimes, smh

PaperLace:
Oh please!
This sounds so shallow.
Do you know how many men are unavailable or handy?

Maybe their wives should start showing advances at the mechanic that fix their cars, the neighbour that helps her put on the gen,that colleague who is nice enough to drop her at her junction everyday.

Stop making men look weak please.
Orikwa egwu!

The OP isn't encouraging women not to cook, he is only saying it doesn't entirely make her a bad wife.

babythug:
I feel men in Nigeria and Africa as a whole are inhibited by their mindsets and culture as against being practical!

There have been many occasions where I could be caught up in traffic till late and hubby has returned home early but he won't start dinner or even feed himself because "his wife should do the cooking"

Where of course it's more practical for the men to cook they still won't! Funny thing is African men who live in the diaspora embrace this your school of thought far better than those residing in Africa!!!!

Joavid:
A Naija guy is wooing you, next thing he asking if you can cook and I always reply, No I don't cook except am in the mood to do so.

Cooking is not my favourite thing to do and I make them understand from day one.

OwoLee:
Many of the new generation ladies hide under the guise of civilization to drop many of their duties as a responsible and good wives at home. They claim different languages of equality etc when it comes to duties and responsibilities, they never forget to always ask of money for pampers of the child, school fees, house rents etc
Has anybody ever wondered why do men pay dowries, for who? To who? Is it even compulsory because I guess it should have been an obsolete idea by now...
The way things are going now, marriage will be like a contract thing, sign an agreement and that's all...
We are complaining of so many evil things in the world of today(end time happening), maybe this a reason to it whereby everyone is denying responsibilities.
Not siding with the men here, even the men of nowadays are shying away from been the good husband to their wives...I think we should leave more of this western ideals, let's develop what we meet, husbands should be the best to their wives and wives too in likewise manner.

eitsei:
even though I believe being a bad cook doesn't make a bad wife but still I can't be with a bad cook for long, I can't marry a woman who will expect me to share cooking roles with her even though just like you occasionally I will cook for the family. .. But it's becoming a great concern getting a cultured lady to marry these days.. ...may God help us

daygee12:
Dont tag it as African mindset, i had dis discussion with an italian colleague yesterday, he said he respects ladies dat can cook dat he can never marry a girl dat cant cook. He said he was upset wen he(italian) visited his friend and finds out dat his friend's girlfriend doesnt want to cook. this is not African mindset only indians and Arab countries respect ladies dat can cook.

DarkRebel101:
Good to know that I have a partner in crime.

Yet society would berate you for being a woman that doesn't like to cook. The problem is we focus too much on what roles we think suits a particular gender rather than on individual ability and personal interest(s). It's just like expecting that every man should grow up loving and being able to play football simply because football is a manly sport. What if the man prefers basketball or badminton?



It's not African to hire a cook? Who made that law?

We always say we are in Africa, or we are Africans -- are Africans born with two heads or six fingers? I think Africans feel too important and are a bit self-absorbed. African men need to wake up to the cofee smell on the wall, the world is fast-changing and some of our cultural beliefs have grown obsolete with time—e.g that cooking is not a man's job.

Culture did not just magically appear out of thin air, people created culture, and if people can create culture then they should just be able to refuse it as well especially when it doesn't jive with ordinary common sense.



You are right that it's an almost unrealizable dream but you should also remember that it took millenniums of social conditioning to put in place what we have today. We shouldn't expect that all of that would dissipate within the span of a few heart beats.

We should rather seek to recalibrate the general mind-set little by little, putting it at the back of our minds that a journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step. We can begin to effect this change by raising our sons and daughters differently. It's what we pass down to them that would obtain during their time.

crazymommy:
My sister that your last statement is totally false!!!!!!!!go and ask those living there except if the dude did not grow in Africa.......why do you think you still many african men still going back to their country to get married??

kayStelly:
You mean all these long story just because u can't cook

Laveda:
I think only the lazy ones see it as a big deal.

And oh, thanks for the blessings mommy.

Izen:
I don't like to look because like everyone else I have my likes and dislikes. If that makes me lazy, then so be it. Just realize that some people would rather clean, wash than cook and vice versa. Women were not born with genes to love cooking. We are societally conditioned to love it but some of us just never get there. So cut us some slack and try to be empathetic. If you don't love to do something but you're forced to do it, you would see it as a big deal and that is okay.

DarkRebel101:
With the exemption of Christ who fasted for forty days and forty nights, what man and what woman can do without food? The answer to that is as plain as a pikestaff. No man, no woman, no earthenware vessel under the sun can do without food.

It's an established fact that feeding is a basic necessity for human survival; why then would one shortchange him-herself by not learning this simple yet vital life skill which is almost as essential as the very air we breathe?—the skill of cooking that is.

Why do men believe the process of nourishing themselves is effeminate and a task so inferior that it must be exclusively reserved for the office of womanhood? Isn't that a rather obtuse way of looking at it?

Why are husbands who lend helping hands to their wives in the kitchen said to be henpecked and of the sissy variety? Is the raiment of masculinity to be shorn of tenderness and the capacity for love and care?

Why are our sons dissuaded from being with their mothers in the kitchen where they might pick up these crucial culinary skills? Why do we believe it's mandatory that our daughters be immersed in the art of cookery, but that it isn't necessary for our sons to be?
Are we implicitly stating that our daughters are worthy of knowing how to go about in feeding themselves, but that our sons aren't?

Don't we think it's unwise if one is incapable of slaking his-her hunger unless he-she is to rely on the efforts of others? Isn't that akin to having to urinate with another person's gënitals?

Why is it customary that all women should know how to cook but not all men? Is it that they cook better? – surely that cannot be true -- after all, many of the top chefs in the world are males.

Can we say women have a heightened sense of taste and smell which enables them to cook better than men? Is it that they were born with cooking genes which makes them immanently adept at knowing just how much salt, and how much curry, and how much grinded pepper would suffice in making that pot of stew capable of exciting even the most apathetic taste buds? Surely that is not the case as well.

[...]

The purpose of this piece is to upend the notion that bad cooks make bad wives, and to encourage men to put on those dazzling aprons and learn how to cook—even if it's only the staple delicacies of the climes in which they are domiciled.

We – men – would realise just how numerous the benefits of knowing how to cook are when we give it some thought.

Think of it, if you happen to have just had a huge quarrel with your wife and you know how to cook, you wouldn't have to wait until she comes around before you regale yourself with a nice meal.
Knowing how to cook would also reduce the workload for your wife and anneal the emotional connection betwixt the twain of you, and believe me you when I say your wife would greatly appreciate your contributions and adore you the more.

For the bachelors inept in cooking, do you mean to say that you would live solely on junk food and continue to patronise eateries and ‘Mama Put’ until you decide to take the plunge? Not only is this unhealthy, it's also a major economic misfiring.

This – cooking – is also a skill that could generate lots of income if mastered to an expert degree. There's never a time or season when Caterers and Cooks never flourish – especially in a party-loving, owambe-ridden country such as ours where each week is characterised by the efflux of wedding parties, birthday parties, naming ceremonies, school parties, office parties, etcetera. Why deprive yourself of something which promises such prolific dividends?

[...]

I'm sure some people must have asked us this about our bride-to-be: ‘Can she cook?’. We must have also heard statements like: ‘A woman had better know how to cook, otherwise she would lose her husband to other women’.

Are men now such ‘self-controless’ and debauched beasts that mere food would drive them to infidelity?

[...]

Being the curious philosopher and true-blue adherent of Cartesian skepticism that I am, one of my life's purposes has always been to scrutinize social mores and practices of dubious provenance which we've embraced without questioning, and also in unearthing the reeking worms of falsehood that have bored their slimy selves into the tapestry of our lives—lives which our arbitrary, man-made cultural precepts and conventions have made even more difficult than they are supposed to be. It is for this reason, doubled up with an innate cynicism, that I decided to reevaluate society's stance on the topic of cooking—the pulse-beat of domesticity.

And it was during one of my brooding sessions that I segued into an oasis of inward calmness and clarity of mind which led me to the pearly gates of this interestingly revealing epiphany:

“Before the early men accidentally dropped meat into fire and figured it smelt and tasted better than the raw meat which they ate hitherto -- before that inadventent discovery, the burden of cooking never rested on the shoulders of women. Women were never relied upon for feeding.”

It was in that Eureka moment I realized that women aren't naturally disposed to cooking, they were only socially-engineered to see it as a task requisite to being a valid member of the female gender. In other words, society conditioned women to see the art of cooking as one of the cardinal gender roles which they must embrace.

Now that we know women are not born with cooking genes, men should never use a woman's cooking skills as a yardstick when wife-hunting. Cooking skills should never be used as parameters in judging a woman's personality or character. A man that cannot cook is just as guilty as a woman that cannot.

Now that we know women have no cooking genes, parents should ensure that both their sons and daughters learn how to cook while they are still young and tender. Our sons should not be handled with a free-wheeling hand in this regard.

Now that we know women have no cooking genes, no husband should expect his wife who has returned home after a long day, and who has been treated to the numbing biffs of lassitude, to waddle her way into the kitchen and conjure up a meal in that rest-deprived state. Why couldn't he have fixed himself a plate? Because he didn't know how to cook? What's stopping him from learning?

Now that we know women have no cooking genes, a woman who knows how to cook but doesn't like cooking should not be subjected to derision and name-calling—feminist devil, liberal witch, left-winged Jezebel, Betrayer of the African tradition, etcetera. A woman who knows how to cook but doesn't enjoy it is no different from the man who knows how to cook but shirks from doing so because he derives no pleasure from it.

I cook fairly well too – thanks to my loving grandmother – but were it optional, I'd rather choose not to cook—the heat, the tardiness of the process, the steam, the almost-neurotic stirring and tasting of soup...All these are why I never like to cook except on special occasions. So you should understand why some women, though are excellent cooks, are not smitten in the least by the idea of cooking.

[...]


The ideal thing, especially in this fast-paced, digitalized age where the percentage of housewives dwindles by the minute, is for men to dispose of the notions inherited from our forbears, to let go of the vestiges of the remote and irrelevant past, and to make bold tectonic shifts toward a more progressive and bespoke mind-set—a mind-set specifically tailored for this era, a mind-set which sees clearly the inanity in what society has beguiled us into believing for centuries – the inanity in the belief that cooking is out-and-out a woman's job and that a man need not know how to cook.

[...]

Who says a woman cannot cook from Monday to Friday while her husband takes care of the cooking during the weekends? See? -- now that's what we call a cohesive and tandem partnership.


Happy cooking...

skarlett:
I cannot cook o

TheArchangel:
From the responses I am getting men are really pig brained. You follow where your d.ick leads you.
No wonder God created Eve because men can't even manage a fucki.ng garden. Smh

[color=#1980BC]Your dad should be the first pig brained male.

Cretin! [/color]