₦airaland Forum

Op, in these days and times when its rare to see a woman that regards and fully accepts her inlaws as family, you should thank your God for your wife. She sees your mum as a mother and feels proud about your mum to the extent that She wants to be called her daughter in every sense of the word. Its a delicate issue and you lost the oppurtunity to give your wife that pride of place in your family. Try and apologise to her and make her understand that you did not look at the issue from a proper perspective then. Im sorry to use my wife as an example here. If it were my wife, She will only attend such gathering on the condition that a similar party will be held for her mum. Guy, you are lucky. Apologise to madam before she starts feeling like an outsider. On the issue of funeral of old folks, heaven will not fall if she is tagged your mum, s daughter. My Dad, s burial program has 10 names listed as his children but his biological children are just 6. This little insignificant things has the potential to ignite fire that might take time to extinguish. Regards to madam.

Ruleboi:
Haba! I no say make you yab my wife o. I just want to know if my position on the matter is really wrong as they both think. No fighting, just some normal misunderstandings that are inevitable in marriages. You too will get there someday, if you are not married yet.

@bolded,shey na you carry your family matter come nl where you have unhappy people who are looking for Avenue where they will put sand in another man's garri, you put your wife in a position to be insulted by a total stranger, weldone

Op - reading through I was upset she insisted on being part of d picture, then I became more upset when I read that u guys finally let her join, then I became mad when I read abt her forming attitude...

I just felt she spoilt a memorable picture

Ruleboi:
I think you are just being a "woman" and African. The love between everyone in my family is rock solid. No discrimination whatsoever. Both my mum and my wife are lively cheerful people. I find this stance and the whole argument so "petty". I mean, it is just a picture for God's sake. The pettiness in the discussion was what really pissed me off. It shouldn't even had been an issue at all. I guest you womenfolks are just what you are. You can be troublesome at times

With u troublesome statement, I believe u're just discovering an aspect of her u werent exposed to.

Well, na so most ladies be, always petty and with short memories.

Incline:
Your wife was wrong, OP.


You're right, If I were any of OP's siblings I would have insisted the wife not join in the picture too. In fact if I were OP himself I would have insisted the same. No wife should cause problem for my mom on her special day. She dey mad ni?

Immature..this is how u know people that are nowhere near getting married

kodylicky:
Op - reading through I was upset she insisted on being part of d picture, then I became more upset when I read that u guys finally let her join, then I became mad when I read abt her forming attitude...

I just felt she spoilt a memorable picture

I wish some of these girls here can have sense like you.. Some people reasoning eh.. A picture of mama and her children is now an issue? Nawa oh. Thank u dear.. I was so mad after reading the whole thing.

i pray i ave a wife like urs. i stand wit ur wife bro. try to look at it from ha angle. if u wanna snap mum nd kids without ha in d pics. dnt tak ha along. ladies tak finz lyk dat serious. it goes a long way in deir heart

Ruleboi:
My mum's retirement party was yesterday. So me, my wife, and our three months old daughter had to travel down home to celebrate with her. Me and my siblings are all graduates except for the last born,as expected we've all left home to chase our different dreams in different lands. So occasions like this now feels like family reunion IYKWIM. May I add that I'm the first born and the only married one out of her five children? So the occasion was the first one with the nuclear family finally getting extended.

To the real issue; It was time to take pictures.Several shots with various categories of people had been taken. So a picture of mum with her children was called. My siblings were already set. I was called on to join in. Soon as I joined, my wife, seeing another picture was about to be taken hurried along to join, and she was told by one of my siblings that it's a children alone with mum picture. I signalled to her to let us take the picture, but she refused. Immediately asking what I meant by that,she jokingly insisted she must join in the shot as she is now a child too. Others pleaded to let us take the shot first as we had taken several other shots earlier on. She insisted, and the picture was taken with her. No issues about it as it was just a picture, and we were in a merry mood.

Afterwards on our way back home, my wife started giving me some attitude. She had taken offense that I agreed to take the picture without her. I tried to make her see that such pictures could be good for memoirs. I cited an instance of dead elderly people's burial programme booklets, where such pictures could be labelled "mum with her children" during retirement party. She never saw reasons still. She had to seek her mum's opinion about it, and her mum opined that she was right. That's what got me confused. Was I really wrong, or were they just being African? What's your stance on this?

You were not wrong neither is your wify,look at it this way,she feels that since she is married to you she has become a daughter too,and again maybe the way and manner your sibling hilted her ,she felt slighted. So what you would have done was just not say anything and allow her in the picture and jejely snap another one with your siblings in it, at this point she will.no longer insist that she must join,The attitude she is giving you is that she felt slighted and you too supported your siblings,.and you on the other hand just wanted to let her know that this particular pose was.for siblings alone and she felt that she was daughter too by marriage. Just apologized to your wife and make her see reason why you did what you did,Two wrongs don't make a right

I really don't see why a big deal is being made out of this. Both of you are neither wrong nor right. Your wife is right to be part of the pictures as she is now one of your mother's children by marriage and it's a good thing she feels that connection to your mother and family. It means she genuienly loves your family and wants to be part of you all. Where she is wrong is making a big deal out of it. Marriage requires a lot of love and understanding. Don't listen to anyone saying anything negative about your wife. That is totally unacceptable and disrespectful. Make peace with your wife and move on. Everyones family and extended family are not the same. Don't let people corrupt your mind. Your marriage is your marriage and not the business of the people on Nairaland. Try and keep these things private before you let evil people put rubbish in your mind. They were not there when God joined both of you together and are not living with you in your matrimonial home.

TWoods:
In the name of God, please disregard this type of "advice". These are the type that do more harm to marriages than good.

If a picture taking session will destroy a marriage because someone cannot respect others wish to take a picture. Then there was never much of a marriage to begin with. It is maturity and respecting other's wishes.

Ruleboi:
Haba! I no say make you yab my wife o. I just want to know if my position on the matter is really wrong as they both think. No fighting, just some normal misunderstandings that are inevitable in marriages. You too will get there someday, if you are not married yet.

u 4 no come seek opinion 4 nairaland if u no want make dem yab ur wife na.

Such a picture freak who couldn't simply comprehend what a memorable picture is... oversabi housewife