₦airaland Forum

Joke of the Week!

SCHOOL: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
STUDENT: someone who knows little of everything.
PROFESSOR: someone that knows a lot about soooo little
LECTURE: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
LIFE INSURANCE: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so. that you can die rich.
NURSE: A person who wakes u upto give you sleeping pills.
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor. degree and a woman gains her masters.
DIVORCE: Future tense of Marriage.
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
CONFERENCE ROOM : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
COMPROMISE : The art of dividinga cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
DICTIONARY : A place where success comes before work.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
DOCTOR : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
SMILE : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes
E.T.C .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

copied

funny... but I've read this before

Idydarling:
funny... but I've read this before

yea can't remember where I stumbled on it. But reading it again and it just caused a commotion in my office, esp the Boss part.

This sounds a lot like an excerpt from Ambrose Pierce's "The devil's dictionary".


Hilarous stuff

SirWere:
This sounds a lot like an excerpt from Ambrose Pierce's "The devil's dictionary".


Hilarous stuff

I think I need to grab me a copy of it.
But must they keep naming everything after Devil?

pressplay411:
I think I need to grab me a copy of it. But must they keep naming everything after Devil?

Well, Bierce was an eloquent satiric atheist. I'm sure he had a kick from naming his work after that.

SirWere:
Well, Bierce was an eloquent satiric atheist. I'm sure he had a kick from naming his work after that.

True that. Boost sales and curiousity too.