₦airaland Forum

Going by the identity of the messenger, the message can be deleted or ignored on arrival. They don't have to ask for it, even when your parents are well to do, common sense approves that you take care of them and make them happy when you can.

This mumu na faggy oooh!... e don dey think like oyinbo ppl

trustyshoess:
It's easy to say "lay out a plan". Most parents didn't have that luxury. They were busy sacrifricing every penny they had to make sure their children wouldn't starve, have a roof over their heads and clothes to wear. Where would they get the extra cash to save for old age? Do you realise how much a good education costs in Nigeria and most people have more than 2 children to sponsor. It's not easy. Sometimes, in your whole lifetime, You won't realise how much tour parents have sacrificed for you. I believe its your responsibility to support them if they don't have enough cos if they didn't have you, they would probably be in a better position to take care of themselves

Now that's a point

AreaFada2:
Truth be told, many cultures used to be like ours: children as pension scheme. But our system has refused to move on or develop. The state ought to work out a welfare system for "poorer" women over 60 and "poorer" men over 62/65. But our politicians have no appetite for it.

If done, their children will have more disposable income to invest in their own nuclear family & and business/shares, bills, etc.

But right now, aside parents, lots of aspiring/middle class Nigerians have to support uncles, aunties, grandparents, parents, cousins, nephews/nieces, younger or even older siblings. Medical bills, school fees & even "chop money". It prevents wealth accumulation & investment.

Individuals are shouldering the burden of the state/govt.

It promotes dependency on the few well off people & perpetuates overall poverty.

Giving to relatives should be done willingly, not because economic circumstances dictate.

On the other hand, in Nigerian climes, people raise their kids without any welfare assistance from the state, aside maybe giving babies some free vaccines.

In ancient times, African parents left an inheritance for their children in form of farm lands, clothing and household items, even while they lived. It wasn't the other way round.
These days a lot of African parents are more concerned about what they can get from, rather than what they can leave for their children. They took care of their parents and siblings and expect the same, forgetting that in a lot of cases the futures of their children and grandchildren are staked for them. It's a vicious cycle
This is why many feel free to reproduce like rats because they plan to transfer their responsibilities to one or two from their brood/ litter.
Those kind of parents disgust me.

Nellybank:
My person abeg no vex o. Any other delivish and dangerous word apart from "Officially mad"?

Hahahahaha.. I nor sure bros..

legaltender:
In ancient times, African parents left an inheritance for their children in form of farm lands, clothing and household items, even while they lived. It wasn't the other way round.
These days a lot of African parents are more concerned about what they can get from, rather than what they can leave for their children. They took care of their parents and siblings and expect the same, forgetting that in a lot of cases the futures of their children and grandchildren are staked for them. It's a vicious cycle
This is why many feel free to reproduce like rats because they plan to transfer their responsibilities to one or two from their brood/ litter.
Those kind of parents disgust me.

You need to look at various things. In ancient times, farmland & plantations/fruit trees were valuable assets. Because most people were farmers. Inherited farmlands are still there in many families, unless already sold off. But how many youths want to farm now?

There is just a shift in what we now term "valuable inheritance". It has to be liquid cash or nice houses in the cities/big towns now.

There was also no "Land Use Act" back then. The King/community could easily divide up free lands among themselves.

On the average, fertility has reduced too. Not biological proficiency here but simply a term used for number of kids/woman/family. Due to better enlightenment, reduced lottery of child survival and reduced need for many kids to work the land. Far less fertility in the past 25 years compared to 50 or 100 years ago.

Those parents who depend on their kids is as a result of poverty. Rich parents do not. If we had developed at the same rate as Malaysia or Singapore, they'd be richer in old age now too. Or have a govt funded better life.

A retired teacher who happens to be ill now in his 70s might have to rely on his kids to augment his meagre & irregular pension. He never earned big and raising 3 or 4 kids was expensive. Due to poor state schools, many have spent more money on private schools over same 25 years. Again due to failure of govt.

We're now at crossroads between family responsibility/loyalty and desire to live one's own life peacefully, Western lifestyle. If high unemployment continues or gets worse and young people can barely look after their own nuclear family, elderly dependent relatives will suffer greatly.

[/i][i][i][/i][quote author=OfficialNNB post=56228775]Nigerian gay activist, Bisi Alimi, has written an epistle telling Nigerians that it is not their responsibility to take care of their parents, neither is it the right of their parents. According to him, a child owes his/her parent nothing, as he/she never begged them to have sex.

He went further to disclose that a child, is not an old age pension scheme. He went further to tell Nigerians not to succumb to emotional blackmail from their parents, or they will milk them dry.

Here's what he wrote;

"Nigerians, doomed financial vicious circle is when your parents brought you up so you can be their cow to milk, while you look forward to doing same to your children.
I understand that the system is bleeped, pension money is being embezzled by stupid greedy politicians, the same ones you worship and bow to, and there is no guarantee for old age, but Bleep, the system won't fix itself. If you don't resist, you will be consumed.


The idea that it is the responsibility of the struggling young to take care of the struggling old is a myth sold to you by the corrupt politicians who have stolen the resources of your commonwealth.


Remember, one rich man among 100 poor men will eventually end up being poor.
You only have two commitments in life; yourself and your children and that's until they are old enough to be kicked out of the house.

You do not, I repeat, you do not owe your parents any pay back unless you are still living with them, which means get the Bleep out or start paying rent and bills.

Remember, you didn't beg them to have sex, they wanted to have children, it's their choice, you should not be their old age pension scheme.
Only do it if you can and have the resources to, but even with that, know the limit or they will emotionally blackmail you and milk you

Na waaho
Just negodu

It is not fair

bukatyne:
@bold: Lols!

@OP: I agree.

To actually think the Bible says a 'godly man will leave an inheritance for his children'.

All the godly people in the Bible left wealth and morals for their generations.

Heck, we the 'children of Abraham' still tap into his blessings.

PaperLace:
I am sure people insulting him didn't read his write up_they read only the heading, but it's normal for Nairalanders .

Truth is bitter, very bitter...
He was a bit hard, went off at some point but he made some sense.

Modified: Before insulting, take your time to read the post without bias. Forget he is gay, sieve out his message_then comment. If you still don't get the message, then you need to walk in the shoes of some Nigerian first sons/daughters.

This set of people labour for years training their younger ones(that may number up to 4) and helping out their parents too. The guys most times would keep on struggling to please his family, pausing his own life. He might finally get married and start his own family in his mid-late 30s.
The ladies sometimes move on to get married, the innocent son-inlaw might end up carrying unnecessary expenses.

Everyone should make plans for his/her retirement. Don't be overly independent on your kids. Some kids will give, some might not even have to give, some will totally disappoint you...it happens.
It's clearly stated that if you have _give, but don't fall for emotional blackmails aimed at ripping you off. But then _the black man doesn't read.

My dad was doing good. But he got ripped off by some scammers and became financially down. Now you and that cretinous idiot are advocating I should not help him? I yearn you fall into misery in your old age and you have children like Bisi Alimi who take it through the anuus and won't raise a finger for you. Bloody retarded thinkers

Bisi Alimi is encouraging selfishness which is also wickedness and foolish people here are supporting him? Geez this generation is going down to the ground.

Cork sucking ,anus loving gây âss modafôrker ,

Does he have parents? If you no take care of your parents who will take care of them? It's the right thing

Ofcourse we yoruba muslims don't care about our parents. Dats why wen u go to idumota u ll see our mothers hustling. Carrying heavy items on our head for small rich Igbos. Just because of 50 naira.


Dis is why we yoruba muslims don't like Igbos

No one born of a woman will follow the advise given by a SHIT TANK.

realestniggah:
bisi alimi need to be flogged

I don't care if he is homosexual as far as it doesn't effect my life in anyway..he can live his life as he please.


Well I have seen young people ruin their lifes in a bid to please their parents, so to an extent I understand where he is coming from. But I owe my parents everything so I'm going to spoil them silly. Not because they demand it from me but as a show of my gratitude and affection.they took care of me when I was a baby and showed me immense love.it only right i spoil them with the same love and care they gave me.heck they brought me to this world..who am I before them

.men logical speaking you owe them nothing. You were not consulted before they. Had sex to deliver u

xynerise:
I obviously didn't read the entire article...my bad.


Thanks

Guess the quest for FrontPage was stronger

Morning sir

You may ignore your parents in western countries and they'll still be fine because of the various social intervention programs like medicare, foodstamp, meals on wheels, elderly homes all paid for by the govt. If Nigerians start ignoring their parents who will take care of them?This guy is evil.

Poverty is mental,Nigerians do not know that the there are parents who still buy their children gifts at their old age.Taking care of our parents do not mean we have to make monthly payments to them.Some of us have seen a different world from Nigeria so maybe we understand things better.Taking care of your parents when they are old and frail is normal,not when they are in their 50s and 60s.

exlinkleads:
ok


now he needs to go to rehab

.logical speaking you need the rehab.if u are insinuating the his mad

kingthreatz:
My dad was doing good. But he got ripped off by some scammers and became financially down. Now you and that cretinous idiot are advocating I should not help him? I yearn you fall into misery in your old age and you have children like Bisi Alimi who take it through the anuus and won't raise a finger for you. Bloody retarded thinkers

Bros cool your temper! I think you should reread what Bisi wrote he said "...it is not your responsibility..." the word "responsibility" is the key word. Just like it is not your responsibility to be nice or friendly with your neighbors. Just like it is not your responsibility to help someone that is down on your luck. Just as it is not your responsibility to extend a helping hand to a hungry child or give money to a good cause.

But then it is the right thing to do.

I understand that we have no social security or any form of social intervention to aid people when they are old or down on their luck we depend on our families and friends to pull through such times and over the years many have been blessed with people that came through for them. In as much as it is a good thing to be there for your parents when they needed you most we should also start thinking about the implication of such actions on the psyche of to be parents.

Your dad worked hard and was unfortunate to have lost all his money. There are a lot of folks out there that give birth to a lot of kids and with the mindset that the first child will raise the younger ones. You may not live in a neighborhood where things like that are common but it is more common than you can imagine.

I know a childhood friend of about same years old, he is few months older than I am. Immediately after ss3 he got married ( mind you he was doing odd jobs) and now he has about 5 kids. No formal education, no solid business plan or any that I know of, he relocated to the village which as it stands is the best in terms of finance giving his current situation. Imagine all the troubles he is putting those kids through ( he knows better but he chose otherwise ) tomorrow he would in "good" conscience tell the world how much he suffered to raise the kids ( without telling the world how much the kids have to put in in raising themselves. How much time they have to stop being kids and be adult so that ends can been met at home) and how it is the "responsibility" of the kids to take care of him.

So my friend please read Bisi post again put the fact that he is gay aside and think about the situation logically. Though it is the right thing to do but in most cases it is not one's responsibility - just like it is not your responsibility to help the homeless or feed the hungry but then it is still the right and humane thing to do.

What do you expect from an assfúcker

AdeniyiA:
What do you expect from an assfúcker

Did you read the post? If yes did you consider it in the light of logically reasoning or you are so concerned about his sexual choices?

Is it not too early to start the day with such venom? Mind you there are a lot of straight people like you out there that eats ass and like sticking their dicks in female butt-holes ( Yes scientifically there is no different between a male and female butt-hole. They both perform same function - outlet for fecal matters).

MARKETfund:
Guess the quest for FrontPage was stronger

Morning sir

I didn't know it will get to front page

Good morning

it is a pity for dis stupid child to be born... he is even a useless gay...


nothing good comes from d devil

ayenitre:
You may ignore your parents in western countries and they'll still be fine because of the various social intervention programs like medicare, foodstamp, meals on wheels, elderly homes all paid for by the govt. If Nigerians start ignoring their parents who will take care of them?This guy is evil.

He never said you should ignore your parents. Please understand him before you condemn him. His argument is bothered on the fact that is it not your "responsibility" that I agree with him. But is it the right thing to take care of your parents sure it is the right and people should do that. As a young man if you understand the differences between what are the responsibilities of your kids towards you it will affect the way you raise them and how much effort you put into planning your retirements ( I am not saying that planning for retirement is foul proof method not waiting on your kids to come to your aid but you have to try at least. There are people out there not trying at all). I know that our social system is non-existent and families more especially the aged depend on their wards to get through, thank God so far most kids have been living up to the challenge.

To throw more light on the issue of responsibility and doing the right thing: it is not your responsibility to extend a helping hand to beggars on the street but it is the right thing to do.
It is not your responsibility to provide electricity for yourself but giving the situation of our power sector buying generator and providing power for your household is the right thing to do ( if you can afford it).
It is not your responsibility to sink borehole and wells in city so as to provide your own water but it is the right thing to do under the current arrangement. Neither it is your responsibility to get security to man your street but it is the right thing to do for your own safety.

eyinjuege:
Every parent should have a plan for their old age and not rely on their children, for their children are also human and can always disappoint you at any time.
Raise your children right, do your best for them, but also have a retirement plan, and not rely on them. Invest in yourself and your old age. Have only the no of children you can afford to raise, and at the same time save for your old age.
Some children will support their parents, some won't. Some parents will still continue to support their children who are married depending on the size of their pockets, No size fits all. Family dynamics differ.

. You just typed trash and felt u made sense...Children are the ultimate retirement plan that's why you had them and invested ur time and energy on them... How about ur parents saying they are just obeying the forces of nature,have sex and give birth to u and dump ur sorry ass and say u should have had a survival plan where u were coming from... That it does not fall on them to care for u and they were just obeying natural sex urge...It is dimwits like u that have plenty to eat and abandon ur folks in the village to suffer... Seun come and see Gays and lesbians hiding on nairaland o abi na u permit them...

woodcook:
He never said you should ignore your parents. Please understand him before you condemn him. His argument is bothered on the fact that is it not your "responsibility" that I agree with him. But is it the right thing to take care of your parents sure it is the right then and people should do that. As a young man if you understand the differences between what are the responsibilities of your kids towards you it will affect the way you raise them and how much effort you put into planning your retirements ( I am not saying that planning for retirement is foul proof method not waiting on your kids to come to your aid but you have to try at least. There are people out there not trying at all). I know that our social system is non-existent and families more especially the aged depend on their wards to get through, thank God so far most kids have been living up to the challenge.

To throw more light on the issue of responsibility and doing the right thing: it is not your responsibility to extend a helping hand to beggars on the street but it is the right thing to do.
It is not your responsibility to provide electricity for yourself but giving the situation of our power sector buying generator and providing power for your household is the right thing to do ( if you can afford it).
It is not your responsibility to sink borehole and wells in city so as to provide your own water but it is the right thing to do under the current arrangement. Neither it is your responsibility to get security to man your street but it is the right thing to do for your own safety.

. @Woodcook, it is our responsibility and the right thing to do when the strength of those who nurtured u are gone... How about ur parents dumping ur butt and saying its not their responsibilty... That gay idiot just passed a devilish message across that we should abandon our parents cos its not our responsibility and here are some people trying to paint it in another light...call a spade a spade... The mofo just said... ABANDON UR PARENTS... Anyways I won't cos its unchristian and unafrican and its un-deltan and its anti-Urhobo and its anti-Warri and its Anti-Me... @Woodcook, tell that mofo I said he should bleep to hell

Its clowns like this that give freethinkers and atheists a bad image. Apparently he has dad/mum issues having been disowned in the home front for his homo-status. Now consumed by hate for his parents he's spreading his goneaphobia.

Please biko ejo, your parents deserve all you can afford to compensate them with for their sacrifices and love. Life doesn't come with a manual so Parents don't always get it right, but the good ones try. They deserve to be appreciated, and hopefully we'll be appreciated some day too.

woodcook:
Bros cool your temper! I think you should reread what Bisi wrote he said "...it is not your responsibility..." the word "responsibility" is the key word. Just like it is not your responsibility to be nice or friendly with your neighbors. Just like it is not your responsibility to help someone that is down on your luck. Just as it is not your responsibility to extend a helping hand to a hungry child or give money to a good cause.

But then it is the right thing to do.

I understand that we have no social security or any form of social intervention to aid people when they are old or down on their luck we depend on our families and friends to pull through such times and over the years many have been blessed with people that came through for them. In as much as it is a good thing to be there for your parents when they needed you most we should also start thinking about the implication of such actions on the psyche of to be parents.

Your dad worked hard and was unfortunate to have lost all his money. There are a lot of folks out there that give birth to a lot of kids and with the mindset that the first child will raise the younger ones. You may not live in a neighborhood where things like that are common but it is more common than you can imagine.

I know a childhood friend of about same years old, he is few months older than I am. Immediately after ss3 he got married ( mind you he was doing odd jobs) and now he has about 5 kids. No formal education, no solid business plan or any that I know of, he relocated to the village which as it stands is the best in terms of finance giving his current situation. Imagine all the troubles he is putting those kids through ( he knows better but he chose otherwise ) tomorrow he would in "good" conscience tell the world how much he suffered to raise the kids ( without telling the world how much the kids have to put in in raising themselves. How much time they have to stop being kids and be adult so that ends can been met at home) and how it is the "responsibility" of the kids to take care of him.

So my friend please read Bisi post again put the fact that he is gay aside and think about the situation logically. Though it is the right thing to do but in most cases it is not one's responsibility - just like it is not your responsibility to help the homeless or feed the hungry but then it is still the right and humane thing to do.

It is my responsibility to help anybody I love. I will continue to show love to my family, my parents and even people I do not know. LOVE IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. This is why christianity is the greatest belief in the world, because it preaches love unconditionally even to those who hate you. Have a nice day.