Well, while some firms/companies' argument about not employing married women are right, it is wrong in the case of some married women.

In the place where I used to work, a lot of us who are married do very well, maybe because our yearly bonuses, profit shares are all tied to our KPIs. Even at that, some married women fall below expectations, as in far below.

I as an employee used to be very irritated about one of my colleagues. When she got pregnant she became an irritant, naughty, insultive and name it. She exhausted her annual leave and went on one month unpaid without notice. She won't pick her calls and won't call to explain her condition. Her performance was like 20percent monthly, ohhhhh, she will sleep for 7hours out of nine hours of work. When she resumed from mat leave she started mmm thing and soon became a guider, she would use the office system and time to attend to her mmm stuff. Ofcourse she started having issues with our direct boss and was even keeping malice with him and calling him names.

Some married women can be funny.

ciscamustexcel
Sorrry dear. You will not loose your mind in Jesus name.Any married woman must learn to develop a thick skin because no matter what you do as a wife and mother somebody somewhere whether husband or in law or even friends will complain. The most important things now are you, your health and the baby and then food for your household. Cleaning house, washing clothes and mopping floor are secondary. The day you have energy for such do it if you don't have energy leave it. Cook the food you guys will eat , bathe your baby and other kid, do the school run and come back and lie down and rest. Talking does not kill o don't let that make you stress your self to the point of breakdown let your hubby complain as much as he wants just keep quiet so there will be no quarrel. Do the one you can do and leave the rest for another day.

ciscamustexcel... The lord is your strength. Pls note that you can't please everyone especially your husband at all times. You are a very strong woman. I applaude you sef. Pls do your best and leave the rest. Dont stress yourself allow your body to heal from the cs pls. May God continue to strengthen you

Over to my own issue.... Pls how do I wean my 11 months old baby. She's a fussy eater during the day and is ready to take only breast milk all day. She falls asleep on the breast, sucks all tru the night. I have tried not to indulge her with breast this night, she drank pediasure and took puree fruits but was still crying for breast milk. I finally caved in and breast fed her till she fell asleep. Pls how do I wean her completely and how can I get her to eat other foods

chychy4us:
@ Jaygrl , those drugs u mentioned don't really work, skip meals like milk, vegetables, beans, soft drinks like coke, Fanta,etc, you will see your baby will be fine. Please don't give your baby any herbal drugs again.

Thanks

Hey Mamas,I am really worried about my baby's growth.I am a ftm... He is 2months and a few days,his weight at birth was 2.7kg and by 6weeks he was 4.1kg. I remember telling his paediatrician that he doesn't look that weight. At the moment he can even be passed for a newborn. He has obviously added little flesh here and there though as he was very skinny at birth.

I started him on NAN 1 just last week as I don't even know if the exclusive breastfeeding thing is okay for him. He cries throughout when he is being fed the infant formula and has refused to suck the feeding bottle and so we use cup and spoon. The milk just spills all over the place.

I am worried as I want him to look physically his age. His father keeps wondering where the food he eats go to...Lol.

Lo's paediatrician says he will be just fine but I need to know from experienced mamas. How do I go about this? I don't mind buying a formula that I know will help him put on weight no matter the cost as all my struggles is because of him.
I would really prefer him using a bottle for his feeds (I bought tommee tippee) as it is less messier. How do I go about his refusing bottles?

Biko don't read and pass o....Help a sister

ciscamustexcel:
Sabi mammas especially grannies in need advice before I take my hand kill myself.
1. When I am pregnant I usually have this pelvic joint pain and a very severe one through out the pregnancy though I still manage to go to work and still do some house work the body can accommodate. But my hubby feels I am pretending. So each time he comes home and things are not done he keeps yelling at me that I am lazy and compare me with other women around.
he is the type that does not lift a pin. After I delivered I was discharged 6dAys later and I went to my mom's and stayed there for another six days.
I had to leave my mums cos I couldn't bear to see her struggle to walk and do other thing cos of the state of her health. Now my mother in law didn't come until the grand daughter that is living with her had post jamb to write and her centre was close to my house so they came 5wks after I delivered and left. 2days later. Meanwhile when my brother inlaws wife put to birth my mil came immidiatly she heard the news and lived with me since my BIL house is not big enough to accommodate her. So I was the one going to the mkt and cooking all the food for both MIL and BIL wife. And when I dared to complain my hubby told me that I am just jealous cos she gave birth to a son and I lost my own son that why I am bursting with jealousy. And because of the stress I lost the pregnancy I was carrying. And I prayed my heart out and God blessed my with another son.
Since the day one after my CS I have been the one taking care of my daughter and newborn son. After I was discharged my younger sister went back to her husbands house cos she is newly married and pregnant. When hubby came to pick me from mumsies house she had to beg him to assist me as I am not strong enough to do chores cos of the kind of delivery I had. Indid he helped for 2days to boil water and sweep the parlour only. After the 3rd day making it day 15 after delivery I had to do everything for myself. Cook bath the kids, wash clothes keep late night to look after baby and even do school runs. And after doing all that the scare begins to pain me and when I complain he sees it as pretence. At one month he entered the house with his friends and the clothes I packed from sun was on The chair plus I have not swept for that day in the process of putting baby to sleep I dosed off. And what I heard him telling his friends is it is only in my house u can see things like dis. I felt bad and the next day I decided to mub and scrob the floor. When he walked in he said that this is how is house should look like all the time.
That day I suffered pains from the CS scare for a whole week but I still had to look after the kids. He shouts when the house is not tidy. I had to carry the baby on my back to clean and cook for the family. Though sometimes he carries the baby but when he starts crying I must carry him and do what I am doing.
For the past 4days my son has been crying fir nothing. I took him for a massage and things didn't change. Just dis evening when the boy started crying I was cooking when he ordered me to carry the boy.and started complaining of how I make him carry the boy, that his sister carried her children by herself. I call myself a mum and cannot find solutions to the baby's cry. That I am so lazy I cant take care of the house etc.
In all dis the scar is still paining me and my doc keeps saying it is stress that is making it pain me and my hubby keeps calling me lazy, All he does when he is around is sleep, watch tv and hang out with friends. I am really loose my mind. I don't know what to do.

Ndo Pele sorry my dear!

This too shall pass! Many mums of toddlers have passed through this and don't worry it can only get better from here on!

I also am struggling with keeping up the house in a tidy state at all times even though I've been in the business for 9 years! One day I'd be able to share some of my stories

However let's help ourselves!

I'm also hoping to apply some of these tips!

Firstly you must only do as much as your strength allows! Don't come and kee yourself oh!

Secondly I find that with some planning and scheduling things can be easier.

Divide chores into things that you'd do on each day. For eg mopping can be every two days and sweeping every evening so that the house is pristine when hubby gets home!

You can start to plan meals to make things easier and bulk cook where possible! If you have to cook the day's meals in the morning please do so, then you warm it in the afternoon and evening!

Laundry you can decide to do twice a week, and dedicate one day only to ironing!

Encourage your toddler to start picking up after himself too

Do as much as you can the night before, you can pick out clothes/uniforms/ socks and pants for the children for a week and set aside.

Include one hour sleep for yourself during the day! If you have a bouncer or rocker put your baby in it and ignore his cries sometimes. Hard I know but you can't pick him every single time he cries....

Some tasks you can do as you go along! For eg after using the loo you can quickly give the WC a scrub down same with the bathroom during/before/after you take a bath...

You can empty the trash on your way to school run...

Also determine your peak energy periods and use it! I'm more active during the night/early mornings So I could decide to catch up on prayers or chores that won't wake the rest of the house!

Hope this helps and God help us all

@ciscamustexcel I forgot to add -ignore your hubby when he starts to complain please. Don't give excuses and don't bother trying to make him see reason! Just waka pass

The emotional stress too can be draining.

Jaygrl:
Hey Mamas,I am really worried about my baby's growth.I am a ftm... He is 2months and a few days,his weight at birth was 2.7kg and by 6weeks he was 4.1kg. I remember telling his paediatrician that he doesn't look that weight. At the moment he can even be passed for a newborn. He has obviously added little flesh here and there though as he was very skinny at birth.

I started him on NAN 1 just last week as I don't even know if the exclusive breastfeeding thing is okay for him. He cries throughout when he is being fed the infant formula and has refused to suck the feeding bottle and so we use cup and spoon. The milk just spills all over the place.

I am worried as I want him to look physically his age. His father keeps wondering where the food he eats go to...Lol.

Lo's paediatrician says he will be just fine but I need to know from experienced mamas. How do I go about this? I don't mind buying a formula that I know will help him put on weight no matter the cost as all my struggles is because of him.
I would really prefer him using a bottle for his feeds (I bought tommee tippee) as it is less messier. How do I go about his refusing bottles?

Biko don't read and pass o....Help a sister

not all babies are chobby. It's likely h has a strong bone. He willget big eventually. I experienced same just dat she was 2 .5 at birth, 2.7 at 6wks so u c, yours is fine. You need to eat good food for it to reflect in his body.cheers

babythug:
@ciscamustexcel I forgot to add -ignore your hubby when he starts to complain please. Don't give excuses and don't bother trying to make him see reason! Just waka pass

The emotional stress too can be draining.

ciscamustexcel
Alternatively : Just form fainting dramatic collapse and let them rush you to the hospital! And admit you for one week bed rest due to exhaution!

Maybe his thinking will reset! And he will realise that you are not a machine.

Call me evil but it is something i can do? Ah what of the children you will say? Na only me born them? Deep down he loves them, They will be fine.

Just because mrs A is doing something easily doesnt mean that mrs b should be able to do it. How will he feel if you are constantly comparing him to his friends... if mr. A buys range rover for his wife, should mr b also be expected to do the same. It is very unfair for a spouse to be comparing their other half to another person.

On a less dramatic scale, ask him to take you to the hospital for examimation of your cs scars. Maybe if the doctor mentions to him for you to take things easy, he will see that no be forming.

Also find sometime when you are both in love wantintin mode and mention how you feel to him and that you are struggling. If the person he is comparing you to has help, or only one kid or contracting some form of househeeping or cooking let him know.

There may be other factors at play that he may be unleashing other frustrations on you unfairly.

Pele. Its a tender one, i pray ot works out well.

ciscamustexcel:
Sabi mammas especially grannies in need advice before I take my hand kill myself.
1. When I am pregnant I usually have this pelvic joint pain and a very severe one through out the pregnancy though I still manage to go to work and still do some house work the body can accommodate. But my hubby feels I am pretending. So each time he comes home and things are not done he keeps yelling at me that I am lazy and compare me with other women around.
he is the type that does not lift a pin. After I delivered I was discharged 6dAys later and I went to my mom's and stayed there for another six days.
I had to leave my mums cos I couldn't bear to see her struggle to walk and do other thing cos of the state of her health. Now my mother in law didn't come until the grand daughter that is living with her had post jamb to write and her centre was close to my house so they came 5wks after I delivered and left. 2days later. Meanwhile when my brother inlaws wife put to birth my mil came immidiatly she heard the news and lived with me since my BIL house is not big enough to accommodate her. So I was the one going to the mkt and cooking all the food for both MIL and BIL wife. And when I dared to complain my hubby told me that I am just jealous cos she gave birth to a son and I lost my own son that why I am bursting with jealousy. And because of the stress I lost the pregnancy I was carrying. And I prayed my heart out and God blessed my with another son.
Since the day one after my CS I have been the one taking care of my daughter and newborn son. After I was discharged my younger sister went back to her husbands house cos she is newly married and pregnant. When hubby came to pick me from mumsies house she had to beg him to assist me as I am not strong enough to do chores cos of the kind of delivery I had. Indid he helped for 2days to boil water and sweep the parlour only. After the 3rd day making it day 15 after delivery I had to do everything for myself. Cook bath the kids, wash clothes keep late night to look after baby and even do school runs. And after doing all that the scare begins to pain me and when I complain he sees it as pretence. At one month he entered the house with his friends and the clothes I packed from sun was on The chair plus I have not swept for that day in the process of putting baby to sleep I dosed off. And what I heard him telling his friends is it is only in my house u can see things like dis. I felt bad and the next day I decided to mub and scrob the floor. When he walked in he said that this is how is house should look like all the time.
That day I suffered pains from the CS scare for a whole week but I still had to look after the kids. He shouts when the house is not tidy. I had to carry the baby on my back to clean and cook for the family. Though sometimes he carries the baby but when he starts crying I must carry him and do what I am doing.
For the past 4days my son has been crying fir nothing. I took him for a massage and things didn't change. Just dis evening when the boy started crying I was cooking when he ordered me to carry the boy.and started complaining of how I make him carry the boy, that his sister carried her children by herself. I call myself a mum and cannot find solutions to the baby's cry. That I am so lazy I cant take care of the house etc.
In all dis the scar is still paining me and my doc keeps saying it is stress that is making it pain me and my hubby keeps calling me lazy, All he does when he is around is sleep, watch tv and hang out with friends. I am really loose my mind. I don't know what to do.

Dear please follow mamma babythug advice

Though my hubby used to help me when he's home, but whenever I'm alone at home and things need to get done, and my son is fussy, I back him and do the chores. And since my son used to sleep longer in the mornings, I cooked the days meal in the morning, and warm it when dh comes back. Even if it's Semo I make it in the morning and warm it for him when he gets back. It's tough I know but you just have to manage
Just like babythug said, delegate chores. Mop every 2 days, laundry once a week, then cook in the morning and calculate when he's going to be home and warm it.

Then whenever he shouts at you please ignore. Your cs site needs to heal. So please do what you can and leave the rest don't kill yourself because of work
Also teach your toddler how to pick up after herself.

It is well with you

Thank you onegai, Alphahandmaiden, ariegurl, hunniesuzzie, mama00, yseries, for your advice. My dh concured with all you wonderful mama's said.

Thank you so much for the tips

Yesitsme:
not all babies are chobby. It's likely h has a strong bone. He willget big eventually. I experienced same just dat she was 2 .5 at birth, 2.7 at 6wks so u c, yours is fine. You need to eat good food for it to reflect in his body.cheers

Thanks for your prompt response...How old is your baby now? What is her weight and body size like now? I am on the big side so I am also trying not to blow up as such.

Jaygrl:
Thanks for your prompt response...How old is your baby now? What is her weight and body size like now? I am on the big side so I am also trying not to blow up as such.

she was 4months ystday, the last we weighed her she was 5.1kg at 3months. Although she was a preemie, she couldn't latch till 7wkz, I was expressing and giving formula but wasnt seeing it in her, I was too worried as people at health center mistook her for a new born even at 6wks. When I tell them her age, they tell me sorry madam that they asked .she is chubby now that people don't believe she is the one they saw at birth.
My dear, u have to sacrifice and forget your body largeness when it's time, u shed it. People keep tell me I look big but I careless as long as my baby is healthy. After all her health is more important than those days of my worries.

ciscamustexcel , sorry. Isn't it possible for you to get a house help or nanny? Either live-in or one that comes in the morning and leaves in the evening. Its very obvious you need help. You can also ask a less busy relative to come and stay with you for the mean time. We are not superwomen ...God guide and keep you.

Jazzyjazz, thanks i will start putting him on the mat

AlphaHandMaiden:



ciscamustexcel
Alternatively : Just form fainting dramatic collapse and let them rush you to the hospital! And admit you for one week bed rest due to exhaution!

Maybe his thinking will reset! And he will realise that you are not a machine.

Call me evil but it is something i can do? Ah what of the children you will say? Na only me born them? Deep down he loves them, They will be fine.

Just because mrs A is doing something easily doesnt mean that mrs b should be able to do it. How will he feel if you are constantly comparing him to his friends... if mr. A buys range rover for his wife, should mr b also be expected to do the same. It is very unfair for a spouse to be comparing their other half to another person.

On a less dramatic scale, ask him to take you to the hospital for examimation of your cs scars. Maybe if the doctor mentions to him for you to take things easy, he will see that no be forming.

Also find sometime when you are both in love wantintin mode and mention how you feel to him and that you are struggling. If the person he is comparing you to has help, or only one kid or contracting some form of househeeping or cooking let him know.

There may be other factors at play that he may be unleashing other frustrations on you unfairly.

Pele. Its a tender one, i pray ot works out well.

Lol @ dramatic fainting collapse

Yesitsme:
she was 4months ystday, the last we weighed her she was 5.1kg at 3months. Although she was a preemie, she couldn't latch till 7wkz, I was expressing and giving formula but wasnt seeing it in her, I was too worried as people at health center mistook her for a new born even at 6wks. When I tell them her age, they tell me sorry madam that they asked .she is chubby now that people don't believe she is the one they saw at birth.
My dear, u have to sacrifice and forget your body largeness when it's time, u shed it. People keep tell me I look big but I careless as long as my baby is healthy. After all her health is more important than those days of my worries.

Thank you so much,I really do appreciate.

Hi mums! Happy sallah and happy Sunday! Went baby shopping yesterday and was quite overwhelmed. Especially bout clothes and gears. I need help!!!
1. I bought sleepsuits and body suits 0-3months (7) in no. Is that okay for a start? If not how many

2. What other kind of clothes can I buy? Are onesies different from the above? Then top and trousers or shorts, how many to start with.

3. Is there a specific make of towels or kind? Bot a 3-in-1 for 1900. But don't particularly like the fluffiness. Want to buy a better quality but unsure.

4. I bot a pack of 4-in-1receiving blanket. Is that okay? And is it different from burp cloth? I asked but was not given a different one.

5. Apart from bouncer what other gear is necessary for New born e.g. carrier, car seat. Don't want to buy without need initially.

6. Would appreciate prices and if possible shops where I can get these items in Lagos.

7. SOrry for the plenty queries but I'm as lost as can be and just moved to lag.

Thanks plenty!

Yesitsme:
grate ginger, pour hot water and allow to cool a bit then add honey...Fast action

Thanks

Is there a way to speed up babies hair growth ? Her hair no free grow especially in front, don't know if I should barb it and allow it start afresh. E be like say na only my baby no get hair around here

From 2.7 to 4.1 in 6 weeks is good, not all babies are built for fat. He doesn't like the formula and from there weight gain I don't think it's necessary. How often does he suck? Does he have up to 6 very wet diapers in a day? If yes, he's fine don't worry. Your son just wants breast milk. If you really want you formula feed you need to train him to take the bottle. Let someone else give him bottles instead of you.

Ciscamustexcel you've gotten good advise. Talk does not kill but exhaustion can. A CS is a major surgery and pain in your scar isn't and good thing. You need to rest. Do the one you can and LEAVE THE REST.

Pretending to faint is also a good idea

Jaygrl:
Hey Mamas,I am really worried about my baby's growth.I am a ftm... He is 2months and a few days,his weight at birth was 2.7kg and by 6weeks he was 4.1kg. I remember telling his paediatrician that he doesn't look that weight. At the moment he can even be passed for a newborn. He has obviously added little flesh here and there though as he was very skinny at birth.

I started him on NAN 1 just last week as I don't even know if the exclusive breastfeeding thing is okay for him. He cries throughout when he is being fed the infant formula and has refused to suck the feeding bottle and so we use cup and spoon. The milk just spills all over the place.

I am worried as I want him to look physically his age. His father keeps wondering where the food he eats go to...Lol.

Lo's paediatrician says he will be just fine but I need to know from experienced mamas. How do I go about this? I don't mind buying a formula that I know will help him put on weight no matter the cost as all my struggles is because of him.
I would really prefer him using a bottle for his feeds (I bought tommee tippee) as it is less messier. How do I go about his refusing bottles?

Biko don't read and pass o....Help a sister

Please don't barb her hair, she's still young. This thing is mostly genetic. Use coconut oil, wash like twice a week and just free. E dey pain when girls no get hair (my mom still talks about how she felt with me) but you can barb maybe when she's 1

My son too has old man's hairline like me, but I guess e no too pain me since he's a boy. Mohawk will fit him very well

olamitie:
Is there a way to speed up babies hair growth ? Her hair no free grow especially in front, don't know if I should barb it and allow it start afresh. E be like say na only my baby no get hair around here

hunniesuzie:
Please don't barb her hair, she's still young. This thing is mostly genetic. Use coconut oil, wash like twice a week and just free. E dey pain when girls no get hair (my mom still talks about how she felt with me) but you can barb maybe when she's 1

My son too has old man's hairline like me, but I guess e no too pain me since he's a boy. Mohawk will fit him very well

but Muslims barb now her hair is not even, the back is more than the front, me I get long hair o and its not like DH is bald
Wash twice a week? So on other days just water!?

@Ciscamustexcel
Men can be a handful atimes, better relax, yorubas will say eni to Ku,ni tie gbe,na person dey die lose, after my own csection I didn't lift a finger,I told my dh i bleed when I do any chores, na him they do chores and he either cooks or buy food for me so be wise and don't jeopardize your health to please anybody.
When his tired of complaining he go rest now or form not feeling fine make den admit you for hospital

.[/quote] Hmmm, this is beyond me! My sister please do the little you can do and leave the rest. May God grant you the strength to take care of your kids. Please, don't kill yourself with any house chores. It is well with you ma.

Some men sha! as if women are slaves.

@Ciscamustexcel

Graciouscharis:


I can't remember the names of the supplements but supplement or no supplement, your child needs B complex and omega 3,6 and 9.
Try as much as you can to get the child to eat foods that are rich in these minerals and vitamins. The truth is that the body sometimes only take about 10% of some of these supplements but absorb more from what we eat and some of these vitamins are not stored by the body.
You didn't tell us the age of the child but you can blend some fruits and vegetables for the child and always give the child egg yolk.

She is just 3 years old now thanks for your quick response

ciscamustexcel:
I know of some one with mild cp and encephabol(pyritanol)syrup and vitamin b6 Tablets was what the doctor recommended. But for the milk she took aptamil from stage one to 3 and still keep appointment at the cp clinic once in 3months.

Thanks a lot for the response

Firstlady7:
Over to my own issue.... Pls how do I wean my 11 months old baby. She's a fussy eater during the day and is ready to take only breast milk all day. She falls asleep on the breast, sucks all tru the night. I have tried not to indulge her with breast this night, she drank pediasure and took puree fruits but was still crying for breast milk. I finally caved in and breast fed her till she fell asleep. Pls how do I wean her completely and how can I get her to eat other foods

Allow her to reach 1 year now mama. Please, I'm advocating for her. Then you can come back, then I will share my the little I know with you. Meanwhile, let me copy these mamas for you.

cc: AlphaHandMaiden, Zaynie, Babythug, helovesme and all the experienced mamas here.

goodfortun:
Hi mums! Happy sallah and happy Sunday! Went baby shopping yesterday and was quite overwhelmed. Especially bout clothes and gears. I need help!!!
1. I bought sleepsuits and body suits 0-3months (7) in no. Is that okay for a start? If not how many

2. What other kind of clothes can I buy? Are onesies different from the above? Then top and trousers or shorts, how many to start with.

3. Is there a specific make of towels or kind? Bot a 3-in-1 for 1900. But don't particularly like the fluffiness. Want to buy a better quality but unsure.

4. I bot a pack of 4-in-1receiving blanket. Is that okay? And is it different from burp cloth? I asked but was not given a different one.

5. Apart from bouncer what other gear is necessary for New born e.g. carrier, car seat. Don't want to buy without need initially.

6. Would appreciate prices and if possible shops where I can get these items in Lagos.

7. SOrry for the plenty queries but I'm as lost as can be and just moved to lag.

Thanks plenty!

I've read this several times and responded in my head
Ur questions plenty o...

Will brb

Lmao. I've started replying like 4 times but I keep getting distracted

enque:


I've read this several times and responded in my head
Ur questions plenty o...

Will brb

U are not alone mama...my girls too don't av hair in fact nothing at all on their head....MIL said that's how their dad's hair too was when he was a baby that d hair grew when he was 3 years old d only consolation is that dh's hair is now very full so we are patiently waiting.....to even rub anything on d thing dh do me make I no just waste money