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As time pass by us in her feline gait
Yielding each ticking seconds into years
By living our very death so await,
So with time a story we all do write
Behold! As the orient sun to west veers
So is the youthful hair of then hued white.


Living along time, our candles are spent
Where dying to live drive nigher to grave
Time itself thitherward the end do went
By the tide, each sole have its soul to save.


Dying we owe to death, even for all
And sooner to a home we bide thereout
Alone as a cloud in that gaping mouth
So lives on history, though our hearts be stall.

Any sonneteer on NL?

Your critics is highly needed peeps

Kindly show some love peeps, I need your criticisms

What type of sonnet is this?

The normal type of sonnets with a different rhyme scheme with Iambic pentameter

Epluribusunom:
The normal type of sonnets with a different rhyme scheme with Iambic pentameter

Normal type of sonnet? I'm lost. Please explain further... thanks.

Am assuming you're familiar with the three famous types of sonnets. The Shakespearean, Petrarchan, and Spenserian. They all have different rhyme schemes, so I devised my own rhyme scheme.

Epluribusunom:
As time pass by us in her feline gait
Yielding each ticking seconds into years
By living our very death so await,
So with time a story we all do write
Behold! As the orient sun to west veers
So is the youthful hair of then hued white.


Living along time, our candles are spent
Where dying to live drive nigher to grave
Time itself thitherward the end do went
By the tide, each sole have its soul to save.


Dying we owe to death, even for all
And sooner to a home we bide thereout
Alone as a cloud in that gaping mouth
So lives on history, though our hearts be stall.

very very good effort. Good to see somebody paying attention to prosody. My only criticism is that i'm not sure the excessive digression from the iamb can be considered metrical variation. But as i said, very good effort. Even masters have said a metred poem is tyrannically demanding.

adedotunmcfelix:
very very good effort. Good to see somebody paying attention to prosody. My only criticism is that i'm not sure the excessive digression from the iamb can be considered metrical variation. But as i said, very good effort. Even masters have said a metred poem is tyrannically demanding.

Thanks bro, you can check out my other sonnets: A victory of love and mine mama. I'll be posting more sonnets here on NL.