Helo fam. please help me look into this and say something as it is tearing me apart. I am the first girl in a family of five girls and one brother. The boy is the 4th and I am married and don't stay in another town with hubuy.

Dad passed on two years ago and left a four, three bedroom flat for rent, he also had some cash in bank which he didn't will. The tenants pay the rent through his lawyers. My mum and siblings stay in a rented apartment because dad's house is in the outskirts and far away from everybody's business and all.

After dad passed on, my younger brother had a plan of how he wants to ensure we don't suffer. one of that plan included but not limited to we moving to a one room apartment against the three bedroom flat they were living prior to dad's death. He also felt that cutting expenses drastically like that would ensure my youngest sister who was just in two hundred level when dad passed on would go smoothly.

well d one bedroom flat didn't go well with my other siblings as they felt how can give of them with my not so Strong mum all squeeze in one bedroom. He had fears too as to how the rent would be paid it they moved to a bigger apartment but my sisters said, no they would manage. They all began staying and because they didn't follow his ideas, he said his hands are off our Last born's Education. Truth is, he doesn't have an ideal job and he probably won't be able to do much financially but what about asking the girl, how are you today? Have you eaten? Hope you are reading?

Few weeks back, my sister called him that she was broke and that he should speak to the lawyer in her behalf so he can send her cash, he said to her, anything about your education, my hands are off. Call your sisters because they said as far as they are concerned, she has graduated. Truth is with the help if this sisters of mine, the girl is in final year, I try to support but my sisters support more than me financially. my sister cried bitterly ob phine not about the money but how harsh my brother's words were. One of my sister's lost her bank job and do she isn't sending her like before and this undergraduate sister of mine understands the situation in ground and she doesn't harass you for cash until it's on a very critical stage. I consoled her and told her to bone. I sent her d small thing I had.

I called my brother and told him that so because your sisters didn't toe your path, your sister should suffer right? Till today, he hasn't seen the need to apologize even after I told him

The most annoying is that recently a tenant paid N130,000 and the lawyer sent 50k to him as the lawyer used the 80k to sort some stuffs for us though. My younger brother on his own spent it and only called for a meeting yesterday telling them how he spent it, he didn't give my mum N1 and didn't even give the one in school a dime. I told him how wrong it was and that he should call everyone one by one and apologize. I told him okay, what ever change that is remaining, send small change to the one in school and he sent me a mesage saying, that he has said it before that anything concerning her schooling, his hands is off. Okay agreed, your hands are off, this money now is from dad's sweat, not yours so what again? He called my mum mad to her face because he felt my mum said stuffs he didn't like.
He said when he makes up his mind even if one involves God, he won't shift ground. I don't know if this one is pride or bitterness of greed or selfishness or everything join together.

He doesn't listen to people. He is still living in the house with my mum not that he doesn't have a place he is managing but according to him, he has invite for job and that place is closer. I told him, guy get ready to chop shit and bear it you don't want it then leave. You can't be under someone and don't wanna chop shit.

I suggested to him to come join us here in Abuja, he said he has to wait for a job invite before he leaves. This is a man over 30. I really don't get it.

Whew! Thank God for NL which has given you a platform to vent. Good.

So your daddy's estate doesn't have executors abi agreed execution? I bet you guys are Igbos. The estate is now the first son's. What do we do? Point out the obvious? Biko let's go back to loading off therapy... All will be well. Your sister is almost through ...may God help you guys.

Unschooled Igbos and their skenky inheritance tradition... Ojuku wey Igbo pass sef was wise enough to sort his estate before his demise. What could be the excuse of the new age? It is well.

sisisioge:
Whew! Thank God for NL which has given you a platform to vent. Good.

So your daddy's estate doesn't have executors abi agreed execution? I bet you guys are Igbos. The estate is now the first son's. What do we do? Point out the obvious? Biko let's go back to loading off therapy... All will be well. Your sister is almost through ...may God help you guys.

Unschooled Igbos and their skenky inheritance tradition... Ojuku wey Igbo pass sef was wise enough to sort his estate before his demise. What could be the excuse of the new age? It is well.

What a preposterous assumption.

Afam4eva:

What a preposterous assumption.

Oga amebo, let her refute it nau. Bro gbeborun

Afam4eva:

What a preposterous assumption.

what is executors here? yeah igbo. Even if the house is yours which I'm this case nobody is dragging, can't you atleat be nice to your hustling siblings? And thanks. she would be fine.

lacapine:
what is executors here? yeah igbo. Even if the house is yours which I'm this case nobody is dragging, can't you atleat be nice to your hustling siblings? And thanks. she would be fine.

So, are you Igbo?

lacapine:
what is executors here? yeah igbo. Even if the house is yours which I'm this case nobody is dragging, can't you atleat be nice to your hustling siblings? And thanks. she would be fine.

You quoted the wrong person. I knew it, you just have to be. Don't worry, all will be well. I am not throwing jabs, just pointing out the obvious.

Executors here means those in charge of handling his Estate. While agreed execution here means what you guys agreed to do with it.

Let's just pray that you and the rest of the willing siblings will be blessed with the means to see her through...she's almost there. Good afternoon.

sisisioge:


You quoted the wrong person. I knew it, you just have to be. Don't worry, all will be well. I am not throwing jabs, just pointing out the obvious.

Executors here means those in charge of handling his Estate. While agreed execution here means what you guys agreed to do with it.

Let's just pray that you and the rest of the willing siblings will be blessed with the means to see her through...she's almost there. Good afternoon.

Oh! sorry . Thanks for your kind words. people comment oh! Nobody is bothered about the property,my sisters don't care. They are angry that he didn't carry them along or got that money from the lawyer and didn't think it wise to give even my mum whom he didn't wash his hands off N1 and the harsh way he spoke to my sister when she asked for help.

Thanks for your contribution.

can't you guys get your money (the cash your Dad left and the rent money being paid by the tenants) from your Dad's Lawyers or do y'all just want to continue leaving everything with them? everything should be coming to y'all, the family. i'm sure something could be worked out. no?

Sorry OP but it seems your culture favors your brother, I guess that's why he is the one that is being sent the proceeds of the rent.


He's selfish and feels you all should follow his idea simply because he is the only son, he has this thinking that whatever he says should be final and sadly he's backed by tradition but that doesn't mean he should lack respect for his mum and siblings and also empathy.

Does Igbo tradition say that the mother can't take proceeds out of your late fathers investments? I see no reason why lawywrs can't send the money directly to her or even to your sister in school. Let him go and work nau.

Some people are naturally wicked, they just hide under culture to justify their wickedness, if not how will a son not even give his mother out of proceeds from their inheritance.

I doubt there's anything you can do, you guys should manage to take care of your mum and sis. Let him eat the rent.


Are you people taking any steps to get the cash in bank?

Who is paying the rent of the apartment where your mum and siblings are living? If the rent is being paid from your dad's investment (property), how much is the rent??

NoToPile:
Sorry OP but it seems your culture favors your brother, I guess that's why he is the one that is being sent the proceeds of the rent.


He's selfish and feels you all should follow his idea simply because he is the only son, he has this thinking that whatever he says should be final and sadly he's backed by tradition but that doesn't mean he should lack respect for his mum and siblings and also empathy.

Does Igbo tradition say that the mother can't take proceeds out of your late fathers investments? I see no reason why lawywrs can't send the money directly to her or even to your sister in school. Let him go and work nau.

Some people are naturally wicked, they just hide under culture to justify their wickedness, if not how will a son not even give his mother out of proceeds from their inheritance.

I doubt there's anything you can do, you guys should manage to take care of your mum and sis. Let him eat the rent.


Are you people taking any steps to get the cash in bank?

yes we are. We are almost done with it.

luxy44:
Who is paying the rent of the apartment where your mum and siblings are living? If the rent is being paid from your dad's investment (property), how much is the rent??

my siblings and my mum. If he has any contribution, it's not something he should beat his chest about, it probably isn't much cos he is still struggling and nobody is forcing him contribute. The rent is about N400,000. The thing with tenants is that after the first payment, they pay in bits. One has to be patient with them and because my dad didn't leave a will, the 10 percent of the money in bank has to go to government via court so we can get a document from court to the bank so we can access the money. Then two guarantors with c of o. Now getting that 10% wasn't easy. most of the rent money went into it. Getting people that has c of o involve as guarantors wasn't easy as people were scared. Naija things. Bit we finally got passed that just recently.

WiredLeggings:
can't you guys get your money (the cash your Dad left and the rent money being paid by the tenants) from your Dad's Lawyers or do y'all just want to continue leaving everything with them? everything should be coming to y'all, the family. i'm sure something could be worked out. no?

The lawyer is trying his best. He isn't even charging for his services. He is collecting the rent and gathering it to use to sort court issues.

He also gave them part of it for rent. My mum may not understand court proceedings like my bro. Lawyer feels talking to my bro as an enlightened person is better and easier which is fair enough. Even if he spent the cash, what of my mum and last born? What of informing them ist that see oh! lawyer gave me money, see what and what he said? Being a man is it by forcing down your thoughts? The annoying thing is he isn't even remorseful. Okay say sorry, apologize to them, I told him since yesterday and up till now, he hasn't even done that. I don't know how a great a graduate who grew up in an enlightened state in the west who rarely goes to village would allow pride, and tradition consume him like this. It baffles me. Thanks for your contribution.