₦airaland Forum

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Sniper12:
bad habit. reminds me of my father who dedicated his money to helping people (family, neighbours, workers) etc. his driver built house before him in Ota in the 90,s . my dad bought a vboot for our pastor when he first comot self. when he had financial wahala there was nobody to be seen, everybody waka. we had a bus that used to take us to school from home, from der we begin use leg. family only pulled thru with rent money from houses she built from my papa head. moral of the story, help ur self. pple are not worth it. I rarely help pple

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

MissRaine69:
Why do you feel the need to be accepted? It's not that you cannot say no , you can but instead of saying no you feel obligated to placate. Unfortunately if you don't grow a backbone soon you will forever be taken advantage off there is no getting away from that.
Being assertive and understanding self esteem does not come naturally to everyone. You have mentioned that you don't do it for glory that maybe so, but your behaviour has its roots in tying to fit in and money buys you passage. You are accepted by I suspect by the majority of your friends because you give them something and they know you are a walk over.
Are you open to learning how to be a bit more assertive?

madridguy:
Paying for food and drinks is good so far it's not affecting your pocket. As for lending people's money, my advise is " don't lend anybody an amount you cannot let go " that is logic of lending people's money.

Sniper12:
bad habit. reminds me of my father who dedicated his money to helping people (family, neighbours, workers) etc. his driver built house before him in Ota in the 90,s . my dad bought a vboot for our pastor when he first comot self. when he had financial wahala there was nobody to be seen, everybody waka. we had a bus that used to take us to school from home, from der we begin use leg. family only pulled thru with rent money from houses she built from my papa head. moral of the story, help ur self. pple are not worth it. I rarely help pple

Yoshy:
It's not always that easy o.

mannatech:
One of my friend just asked me for a 5k loan. This same guy owed me money before and since I no ask, he never mentioned it but today lack of shame and pretense made him to remind me of the old loan with a promise to pay both soon.

I just choke hand for pocket remove 5k close mind dash am 5hundred naira.

Ebuka2016:
i want to learn oo.

MissRaine69:
There is a time and place for everything

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

aumeehn:
Exactly what my p man is going through! And the funny is thing is that even if i have money like dangote i wont give him, why because the same neighbors and fake people around him will chop all the money and insult him, but the man is just something else always wants to please people, my boss fit carry en pikin school fees dash somebody just to please him, d thing dey pain me die!!

SmartyPants:
You have to be wise. As some other have said, stop trying to be a people pleaser.

If you are surrounded by people who let you pick up the bill everytime, then you do not have friends.

I have a small circle of no more than 4 guys I would willingly loan anything because I know for sure they will certainly pay back.

As for others no matter how much they ask for, no is the sure answer they will get from me. I especially do not lend money to women as a firm principle.

I did not come to this world to bear everybody's financial burden.

Sniper12:
hahahahah shit happens. i once met one bros dat used to repair our lister generator den, my papa encourage am to go back school even buy am jamb form and pay hin lesson. the guy don big now into real estate and all. when i dey find work i jam the guy on facebook o. say mk i con dey manage for hin side till job show, he dull me. this was a guy we used to go call behind his oga den to come repair gen. life ehn

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

donproject:
Wow! I have finally seen someone like me, I so much understand you beyond what you can even explain. That is just it. I don't know what causes such behavior, feeling you have to be responsible for everything, paying first, trying to satisfy other at your own expense. Well bro, I have changed, I have outgrown it, I'm now much more difficult now because I now think ahead, and I see what people can turn to if you give them first opportunity. I prefer not to give you the first time you ask so you won't come asking next time...If you want to borrow money from me now, I ask first when will you repay before I accept to borrow you. I don't borrow people small amount like N50 or N100 so that it won't look awkward if I'm asking you for that little money when you fail to repay at the speculated.


Bro, this is the cheat. Don't feel that you owe anybody anything, say no when it is the best thing you could say, even to females. Don't mind what people say behind you because this is also responsible for such attitude. Act the way your mind wants you to... disappoint people when it is the best thing to do...if people disturb you to do what you don't want to do, tell them you will do it to lure them away, but don't do it and don't even be apologetic.

If you allow me to continue, I can give you loads of hints, but I believe half word is enough for the wise.

YOUNGSTUNNA:
please borrow me 10k only... I will refund back... next week

Rozaytee:
send me ur number....ASAP!!!!

darichlife:
I want to give you a personal advice. If you really want to know those who are truly your friends just act broke for one months and seek for their help, leave your house untidy and let them come around, just tell them u are just too broke to afford anything at the moment and see how many of them will remain.

Am talking from personal experience. Friends will never stop collecting so long you wont say no, face the truth you are trying to keep a face of integrity and status at the expense of your life, no being able to say no to some demands will put pressure on you and will never make you happy as people will never get satisfied.

Friends should be few and good.

Yoshy:
Abeg! Make u na help me with beta advise o

I'm this kind of person that likes to be the one to pay for every drink or for all the plates when I go out with friends. I don't do it because I seek glory, but I simply feel the nudge, like I'm supposed to pay for this, plus I don't like taking advantage of people or someone taking care of my stuff.

This applies to friends asking me to borrow them money too. I simply cannot say no to them. And this have caused me some very important relationships (I suppose), as immediately I start asking for what they borrowed, They begin to see me as the enemy.

Please how do you say NO to lending money to someone without feeling bad?

Sparkles003:
Best advice you can get...
Had this friend who called me up to ask for 15k loan...i had the 15k could have given it to him but after some thoughts of which i told him that it is only when he needs help he remebers me....what if he doesn't refund me back.....i called him and told him i could only borrow him 5k.....till date my 5k i no see.....not even a call of how are you or i will pay you back.....i did not bother myself over the money cos i gave him with thoughts of what i could afford to let go