Debbietiyan:


Ohh, I think I get what you're trying to say...The text was just dialogue, her current emotions should have been better emphasized right?

But if you'd notice, the story is written from Anita's point of view, she describes what she sees and how she feels about it.
"Welcome, how did it go?" was asked by Sophia but since Anita has the rein over the story, the question was related to us by her (Anita).

“It would have been great, if I wasn’t distracted, trying to figure out the best means of murdering a certain someone.”
The narrator replied Sophia's question. By the response, you can tell she is sulking over what Sophia did.

She bites her lower lip in mock fear.

Written in continuous tense (the action is taking place), Anita describes Sophia's reaction to her reply.

The idea of my choice of tense is to enable the reader watch the Main character metamorphize, for example: She can only tell us what she thinks but since its her opinion we can't agree to everything she says, but if you follow Anita's character aptly, she tries to come off as tough given her background and all...so we mostly get her witty retorts but not necessarily her emotions as she tries to mask them.

So far, she has lost it once (when her Dad came over) and you'd notice how she tried to hide what she really felt.

So hopefully, in the future, she'd let us in again.

Alright, keep em coming, more growth to your creativity

Kusibe77:
Alright, keep em coming, more growth to your creativity

Thanks a lot Kusibe77.

For being my first critic, if this ever gets published, you'd be the first to get a copy

Very interesting.keep up the goodwork.I want to invite:tiffanyj,bibijay123,chumzypinky,audreytimms,d9ty7,larrysun,flakkydagirl,leigh,hassan85,kingphilip,bumsiee,mikedimeji,heemah and a host of others i didnt mention to come and read this story.

Debbietiyan:



Thanks a lot Kusibe77.

For being my first critic, if this ever gets published, you'd be the first to get a copy

I'm humbled ma'am — smiling warmly. Thanks

very nice story, but once per week

Evajael, crislyn, iamlynn, iamloyalty, Nkysuccess, lilyjoe567, romanticnovels, larabae, leriebloom, chummypinky, bibi, chumzypinky, creeza, nnenna, Jupitre, romanticnovella, swann, skarlett, illicit, missnande, Angelinastto

yewande1234, Kimberlywest, kimkardashian, Angelsss, pamelB, rapmike, safarigirl, blair01, Penshalom, marianneada, cbella, fiyah, lavendie

kerenjay:
Evajael, crislyn, iamlynn, iamloyalty, Nkysuccess, lilyjoe567, romanticnovels, larabae, leriebloom, chummypinky, bibi, chumzypinky, creeza, nnenna, Jupitre, romanticnovella, swann, skarlett, illicit, missnande, Angelinastto

thanks for the mention
am here now
nice one debbietiyan

Thanks Kerenjay!

illicit:

thanks for the mention
am here now
nice one debbietiyan

Welcome

Debbietiyan:
GentlePirot
Jupitre
Micharmony
Sofiaelvis
Pizzy77
Thestevens


Official welcome callup

Thanks for commenting, and there there...an update

Thanks for the mention.

Let me digest it and offer my thoughts..

Nice stuff mam...waiting for the next update

kerenjay:
yewande1234, Kimberlywest, kimkardashian, Angelsss, pamelB, rapmike, safarigirl, blair01, Penshalom, marianneada, cbella, fiyah, lavendie

Thanks for the mention. I am following now steadily

[quote author=Debbietiyan post=59570723][/quote]
I have just read through your work and its quite good, save for the one mistake I spotted. I will try and bring that mistake up. It takes nothing away from how good this has been so far.
Larrysun, I mention you.

kerenjay:
yewande1234, Kimberlywest, kimkardashian, Angelsss, pamelB, rapmike, safarigirl, blair01, Penshalom, marianneada, cbella, fiyah, lavendie

I have choke head here.

rapmike:

I have just read through your work and its quite good, save for the one mistake I spotted. I will try and bring that mistake up. It takes nothing away from how good this has been so far.
Larrysun, I mention you.

Thank you

nice story keep up the good work

you're a good writer. well done.

azeezat22:
nice story keep up the good work

silentrock:
you're a good writer. well done.

Thanks alot

Following....
Nice write up ma

I am not too late I guess

cbella:
I am not too late I guess

Nope...the welcome mat is always 'welcoming'

Sophia walks into the room moments later and tries to shake me up. I have taken a quick shower and I am currently going through my notes (at least that’s what it looks like). She hobbles beside me and says. “You should see how swollen you look.” I keep a straight face and feign to be so engrossed in the materials.

She seems to have guessed the cause my sour mood, so she blurts out. “I was just trying to pull your legs. He didn't say anything about you.”

If Sophia had struck me with the remote control in her hand, it would have been less painful than the words she just spurted.

I glare at her and she has no idea how much she has just worsened the situation.

I turn to my side without saying another word to her, reach for ear piece by the bed side drawer, then I head to the kitchen to scavenge the freezer.

I don’t bother checking the pots because Sophia is around, and even if by some stroke of luck something edible is actually in it. I wouldn't want to risk Colitis.

I keep ignoring her for the rest of the evening. Mom notices during dinner. When Sophia, for the tenth time asks me to pass the water jar.

How annoying can she get?

Mom tries to intrude. “I know you’re not deaf Anita.” she says, and I ignore her too.

I’d try to make her punishment less severe by ignoring her until night’s prayer. Sophia’s is indefinite.

I know it’s petty, but that’s what she gets for trying to raise my blood pressure.

The next day at work, I meet a giddy Chinonso; she’s the receptionist on duty today, she says a hearty good morning and I ditto in reply. She pushes a note to the edge of the table and winks as I pick it up.

“Mr. Denola dropped a message for you.” She says the instant my index finger touches it and at the mention of his name, my heart misses a beat.

Telltale signs of probable admiration for pretty boy. I could deny it to Sophia and anyone else, but I am not one to delude myself.

Which is quite annoying. Because all the guys I have known were always the one to initiate interest. And I’d, given by a certain probability decide whether or not to:
1. Indulge him of a possibility, or
2. Ignore him until he gets the picture of my overt refusal.

I stare at the note in my hand, while trying to keep my expression neutral. “Is there a problem?” I ask, and she plunges the tip of pen into her sponge-like synthetic hair, smiling wilding she replies, “Why don’t you open it first.”

Pretending not the notice the brown mote wedged between the lighter shaded brown of her bucktooth, I flip the thin folder paper in my hand, certain that grin etched on her first has everything to do with the fact that she already knows the content of the letter – it’s not really a letter; seven words meticulously written in block letters.

Please See Me Before You Leave Today.

The day progresses as fast as a racing turtle. And for the umpteenth time, I catch my phalanges sneaking into the recess of my black bag, reaching to feel the realness of the letter.

It’s real alright, but that doesn’t mean it makes any sense. Why would he want to see me? Maybe I should just ask Sophia. Maybe I should just text her right now.

I lift my phone to my face and fling it back once I locate the Inbox app; whatever I do now would just end up putting silly ideas into her head.

So maybe Sophia was right when she said I was being overly dramatic. But in my defense, I have never been on the giving end before.

It was the same with David, Augustine, Prince, Oscar, Chisom, Chris, Andrew, Tochukwu, Micheal, Joshua, Jemini, Justin, Tony, Ayodeji.

Yes, I’m exaggerating. Half of the names listed above were just guys I once had a crush on; most are first names of celebrities I crushed on as a teen (logical crushes). Some are names of acquaintances and male friends who tried to catch feels.

The rest are my exes. Notably, three in all. Tochukwu being the most recent.

My last relationship ended barely a month after it had begun. It was hardly any fault of mine. Tochukwu had the worst case of roving eyes I had ever seen or even heard of. He was as quirky as he was handsome. The only reason I dated him, was the quality of genes I felt would be passed down to my – our children if we eventually got married. We met at a friend’s party. He happened to be the emcee of the event and I remember vividly, been drawn to his languid mannerism. I, however, didn’t throw pathetic glances and inane smiles as did my obnoxious female counterparts. He walked up to me after the party and we got talking, turned out he was the first cousin of my friend. Although I’m leery of giving out my numbers to guys I meet at parties and clubs – sly, smooth-talking devilish ones most especially. I bent my rules a little and gave my number (main line) to him, my silly justifying reason then, being…he was related to a good friend and was therefore not a total stranger. Each morning after that, I awoke to the gentle buzzing of my phone. He sent me beautiful albeit Google-lifted messages. I chose to forgive his tactlessness and appreciate the gesture. The latter was quite difficult. I couldn’t help but imagine how many millions of ladies, myself included, having the same professed message sitting in our various inboxes. Some inexperienced ones, actually believing it. Resignedly, I chose to ignore them. Not everyone could be as poetically gifted as my second boyfriend Chisom. Although, I never believed a word he said.

That was mostly due to his dire habit of speaking in rhetoric.

Chisom was the first guy I really liked (he was also my first). He had the warmest smile and was undoubtedly too soft. That alone caused major issues between us.

He was a History and International relations student (He graduated last year) and given his looks, was always swarmed by pesky females. His problem though was he could never say no to them.

We definitely had chemistry. No doubts. But like all deluded poets...he imagined a world where every problem could be fixed with flowers and kisses...No kidding.

He is still the sweetest guy I have ever met. We had a consensual breakup but we still keep in touch once in a while.

I'm so sorry for the length of this week's update. My week was messed up. Although the above is subject to change (I was half asleep while I wrote it this morning), I just decided to drop it anyway.

Thanks for stopping by.

Welldone. Keep up the updates!

The third update is merely a lift from one of the early episodes though.

Keep the fire burning....I am here to stay...updates needed.... Nice flow you got.....

princemozyk:
Keep the fire burning....I am here to stay...updates needed.... Nice flow you got.....

Welcome

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Welldone. Keep up the updates!

The third update is merely a lift from one of the early episodes though.

Yes, it is. I meant it as an excerpt in the beginning. Just thought to incorporate it into the story now.

Thanks dear.

Nice one ma'am, dis story is so funny dat i cant even stop laughing wen ever i remember d part Sophia cooked. Anyways nice update keep it flowing

Oh
sweet chisom

Update