₦airaland Forum

Sonamjs:
Sin of sexual immortality ....what about all the men who do this.
in our culture it's ok for the man ...but heaven forbid a woman does it, the quotes and everything come out.

It should be the same rule for all men and women.

immorality!

gazilion:
Yes, but the sin of sexual immorality is the only sin God himself supervises the judgement!! Every other sin is outside the body, but he that commits sexual immorality sins against his/her own body which is the temple of God. The judgement has a ripple effect. It's a fearful thing!! Please, change your mind and ask God for HIS GRACE!! He so loved you, he answered your prayers for a baby, now will you spite him by doing what he hates?

I did say it's for both men/women!!

konfused:
Yes, it can be cured.

Homosexuality can be cured

Ha. Seriously? Didn't they say it's in their gene? Asin they are born that way? Like someone born blind?

701ecilana:
Ha. Seriously? Didn't they say it's in their gene? Asin they are born that way? Like someone born blind?

hhaha, don't believe that ish, it's a mania that can be cured.

If they tow that line that means thieves can be excused because we will claim Kleptomanias were born that way.

You see the illogical logic they are trying to bring on.

So yes they can be cured, nobody is born that way.

konfused:
hhaha, don't believe that ish, it's a mania that can be cured.

If they tow that line that means thieves can be excused because we will claim Kleptomanias were born that way.

You see the illogical logic they are trying to bring on.

So yes they can be cured, nobody is born that way.

Thats true, if they want the world to accept them as they are, then we shd accept men who desire children for sex naturally(Pedophiliacs), or rapists. Or even kinky men.

No be small illogical logic

alright madam.

FortuneTeller:
Madam please go somewhere with such nonsense. A machine in the place of a human being? Haba!

I read this and this is just so sad. Marriage really takes God's grace, there are times that you are even weak and cannot even pray. @op how old are you? I am just asking that because I am really nosy. I think the only thing is just keep praying and do your best to take care of your children and yourself. I also advice you listen to some of Joyce Meyer,'s preaching... One about how you should not expect your spouse to make you happy always your happiness depends on you... That might help. On my own side my hubby complains I am not affectionate, but it never used to be like that... So many entwined reasons is actually accountable for this but the most is I see someone (I will not mention who) I really do not like in my husband and that just deters me because i honestly dislike the person. I hope this is not what is happening to your husband hence why he is shutting off on the affection side. For me I am constantly praying God should let me see my husband for him and not see that person I dislike in him.

Fortune-teller stood out in this post, please how old are you Fortune teller? Are you Nigerian I kept trying to find your old threads in which you kept referring to but could not. I am a strong believer of leaving people to their devices but why are you so hell bent on cheating on your husband... You said something about men that cheat should be told about the Bible etc...i have seen how God has dealt with adulterers first hand, some might say it's not God, some might say it's coincidences, but the way things unravelled in their lives you can definitely trace it back to their straying. Good sex can be achieved if you put your mind to it....you can lead your husband to giving you good sex without even him realising it. Me I won't say don't cheat as God has given you freewill...but it's a shame People choose to go down that route.

ooh ifeluvelynice post u got there,hmmm!pls dnt mind that ehmm..rr..mn fortune!!unfortunate'''ehmmmn wats her name again??tel...ler or something.She is just an attention seeker,trust me,just check her thread>d one she said her 'sister's hubby is impotent' someone ask if she is d one going 2ru it & not her sis she denied it & said this exact same words"dear my husband is long & strong,there is never a dull moment in my house" neva a dull moment & yet won't let our ear rest 4rm her intent of adultery\ from my analysis she is Mentally unwell,alot of pple are.**¤ [quote author=IfeLuvely post=59615280]

Dear Brokenangel2

I once discussed with an old "couple" where the husband has refused to be intimate with the wife for many years. You won't believe how a man could do that but this man did. It should surprise you because it is a man who usually cannot do without intimacy.

The result is that after a few years he started having children from women outside and their relationship never recovered till this day. That is a gloomy picture and might be a bit scary. I do not mean there is the possibility of such happening to you because the chain effect of such is crazy. And that is not what i want to talk about.

The only right question to ask is WHY? why is this happening in your marriage? Do you think your husband grew up dreaming of doing this to his wife? Do you think this is his ideal relationship? Do you not think it is possible that there is an issue and he is reacting in a way he thinks is best. If that is not the case, then you married a crazy man. But i think we both know he is not crazy, he knows what he is doing and that you don't like it.

Still on the reason why...

My old friend told me he neglected his wife for over a decade because he grew tired of having to beg her for sex, apparently this was the case when they just got married. So he stepped out and found willing women outside and he never went back because his wife was also very "disobedient" and short tempered.

Another husband neglected the wife because he found out the wife was not fateful during courtship. It broke something inside him to realise he was the second choice when her then bf refused to marry her.

Sometimes it is the guy's ex who will not let him be coupled with a judgmental wife who talks too much or seems "uncontrollable" or uncaring.

My dear, the reason for your neglect may not be anything listed above but there is certainly a reason. You may not be the only victim and you may not be blameless. What do you do?

Be respectful and caring but ask everyday until he blurts out the truth and be ready to either make effort at reconciliation or to walk away.

By the way, i believe you should always reserve the right to walk away.

This is similar to my marriage except I'm no longer interested in my husband sexually. The lack of good quality sex turned me away from him. We are just good friends. However I don't like porn. I need the real thing. So I will just meet a nice guy and go from there. Please don't kill anyone. It's better to leave or have an affair.

Would u have an affair with me lol!?

Brokenangel2:
I just came back to see if anyone took out time to drop a word or two for me. I really appreciate your inputs. Prayers? I'm ashamed to say I'm tired of praying. We don't even have our morning devotions again. I'm even afraid that this atmosphere is unhealthy for my kids. I don't even feel like going to church today, though my beautiful new dress was ironed yesterday. I'm just tired of smiling outside when I'm actually dying inside. I wish this is a dream or novel. That's my life ooo, last night I felt like ending it all, this morning I feel like holding on whether he shows me affection or not. Loneliness is my best friend. You know what? I'll appreciate it if you all share this story on every social platform you know, especially Facebook. He's active there, he will read it somehow. He will know I wrote this, he just knows how I can pen down my feelings. God bless you all.

So sad...
I wish I could help but there seem to be nothing I can do.
But I would luv 2 be your friend[FRIEND]

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

How to let him know? Simple. Write all these and more in a letter or have it type and send it to him via dhl. Don't leave it in the house under his stuff cos he might not read it knowing it from you. DHL it using another details but let the letter have you full names at the tail end.
Before then, he must have read all you have to tell him.
That's how you get him to hear a piece of your mind.
The truth is , he might not even know what you are going through and you mind have unknowingly offended him in the past and he sworn not to see your unclothedness.
I once sworn not to see someone's unclothedness and it's been months and I am not moved to even hug her each time I see her. This is someone I use to chase around for sex any time we are alone for 5 mins.
After pouring out your heart , do well to apologise.

If you don't want to do this, you can let the kids have a little bit of sleeping tabs( pls consult a doctor on this). Once they are fast asleep, put on your sexiest dress, wear a wrapper on top and patiently wait for him to be back. Do this on a weekend. Preferably a Friday.
Once he is done with bathe and dinner, approach him and fall at his feet on your knees if you truely love him. He is your husband, father and a human being.
Pour out your heart at his feet, apologise for all you have done both the ones you know and that which you have no knowledge of. Ask him forgive you and if possible cry at his feet and do not get up until either he kicks you to get up, leaves you while still on your knees, or forgives you. You are guaranteed any of the above 3 options.
But if he once loved you and still does , no matter how little, he is bound to forgive you.

Do this and thank me later.

Well! You can always explain why you had to send it with different details later on.

perharps you should let the kids go on holiday and seduce your man with all the skills you have. Enjoy the chase while you are at it and don't get offended if you get 4,5,6 NOs. Keep trying till you conquer....Laugh at yourself tooo when you are pulling all these stunts on him. You should have a great time..."throw wild lines like Mr b4 b4 hot stuff, is ur prick still working so".... Shut out ur emotions and all that beggging stuff while at it too(u need wild approaches)...only release yours when you get him to release his own... I hope this helps

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

pls think things through and take them easy, I hate to see wonderful relationships suffering for lack of communication!

Brokenangel2:
How do you know if there's anything you did, when he insist you've done nothing? Pity from public? Public that don't even know me in real life? No I don't seek that. I just felt like lifting the pains off my chest a little. For the records, what I wrote here is a tip of the iceberg. I'm not saying I'm an angel.. . But if God decides to judge I and him, he'll die before the end of today because he has done abominable things to me.

I believe you. my sister passed through this same route. until the idiot lost his job before he came to release the value of what he has at home. don't give up dear. God will fight for you. may peace return to your home. in Jesus name Amen

Venica:
I believe you. my sister passed through this same route. until the idiot lost his job before he came to release the value of what he has at home. don't give up dear. God will fight for you. may peace return to your home. in Jesus name Amen

Why you kon dey call your inlaw idiot na? Not good

Brokenangel2:
I just came back to see if anyone took out time to drop a word or two for me. I really appreciate your inputs. Prayers? I'm ashamed to say I'm tired of praying. We don't even have our morning devotions again. I'm even afraid that this atmosphere is unhealthy for my kids. I don't even feel like going to church today, though my beautiful new dress was ironed yesterday. I'm just tired of smiling outside when I'm actually dying inside. I wish this is a dream or novel. That's my life ooo, last night I felt like ending it all, this morning I feel like holding on whether he shows me affection or not. Loneliness is my best friend. You know what? I'll appreciate it if you all share this story on every social platform you know, especially Facebook. He's active there, he will read it somehow. He will know I wrote this, he just knows how I can pen down my feelings. God bless you all.

Madam, what you wrote is commonplace, so forget about it getting to him or knowing it was you. You need to confront your marriage head on. Bring a respected third party, preferably older couples. Confront the genesis of the problem with the third-party.
If it all doesn't work, and you don't have anywhere to go and he is not beating you, then make yourself HAPPY.
Be happy by facing your work squarely, get really busy, face your kids, keep maintaining yourself, look beautiful all the time, wear good clothes and cosmetics, and find yourself a discreet sidekick, but use protection. Let the sidekick be far, and don't give him too much details about your home, address or personal details.
Just ignore your husband and be happy. Save money too. Trust me, the whole thing will be resolved later on. He will want his family again. You will end up with mental health problems the way you are going, and that's just the truth.

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

Good afternoon ma,
I sincerely appreciate your heart for God, especially for holding on to the vows of your marriage. The Lord is ever with you, whether you believe it or not. And by God's Grace, every thing your hubby had eaten that is controlling him shall be neutralize in the next seven days in Jesus name. Amen.

I want you to trust God that your dream life will soon come alive. And every darkness inside and around your marriage shall receive the light of heaven and be permanently terminated in Jesus name. Amen. Have you ever thank God for your husband and your marriage? Do you spend quality times to pray for your husband even when all 'looks well' at the commencement of your marriage? I have a good news for you.

Please, go down on your knees and ask God to forgive you and your husband against and wickedness done unto any orphans or widows. And tell God to give you the grace to rewrite every generational wickedness done by any members of your family. Pray for grace to do the will of God and depart from sin. Then call on all the names of your husband (including names his family members and friends calls him), tell God to deliver him through the names from destruction. Also pray that the angels of your children should arise and fight every internal enemies, conniving with an external forces fighting your marriage.

I pray for you that every forces behind your unhappiness shall be confused and be openly disgraced in Jesus name. Amen

Also note, you are to pray the prayers with your children (their ages doesn't matter). You will soon sing a new songs. I am praying for you.


Yours in His Vineyard,

Pst Biola

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

Share this note with ur husband and see if it will wake him up

Is this a fictional short story? If it is true, i've got nothing to say.

Brokenangel2:
I just came back to see if anyone took out time to drop a word or two for me. I really appreciate your inputs. Prayers? I'm ashamed to say I'm tired of praying. We don't even have our morning devotions again. I'm even afraid that this atmosphere is unhealthy for my kids. I don't even feel like going to church today, though my beautiful new dress was ironed yesterday. I'm just tired of smiling outside when I'm actually dying inside. I wish this is a dream or novel. That's my life ooo, last night I felt like ending it all, this morning I feel like holding on whether he shows me affection or not. Loneliness is my best friend. You know what? I'll appreciate it if you all share this story on every social platform you know, especially Facebook. He's active there, he will read it somehow. He will know I wrote this, he just knows how I can pen down my feelings. God bless you all.

Are u in Lagos? Everything will be fine. Just hold on

Hmmnm. God take control.

Brokenangel2:
It's almost 12 midnight and I heard the door to the sitting room open. He walked in and of course slumps into one of the sofa where he'll sleep till tomorrow. It's either the sitting room or the children's room. This life... .. .. I was barely 23yrs old when we got married and he's few years older. I actually thought he was all over me, now I look back and believe all that was pretence. Where have I gone wrong? I love this guy in a manner that makes me doubt my own sanity. Yes.. . I doubt if all is well with my brain. It amazes me why I still put up with a man who doesn't deserve even a prostitute. A man who has no regard for me, not even an iota of it. A man who thinks he is alpha and omega. I literally adores him, even after two kids in our marriage I break necks when I walk the streets. I am neater and sexier than most single ladies out there. I respect him, I'm a good cook, educated, brilliant, smart and beautiful. Nobody who knows me will believe I'm passing through hell in the hands of a man I love with all my heart. This life... It's damn funny how even my female friends jokingly ask me if my hubby let's me sleep at night. Who will believe me that we've been intimate just twice thrice this year. Those were even in the early months. This is not the first time he is depriving me of intimacy for months. It's just that for the first time... I'm seeing possibilities of me having an affair. Did I just say that? *sobs* Me of all women? The one who prides in her fidelity as a married woman? The same woman who brags that even at gunpoint, no other man will have his way? The same woman who says even for a trillion pounds? Hahaha this life is really unfair. The once virtuous woman now stays up late into the night watching pornographic films while masturbating. How I feel like stabbing myself to death each time. The guilt on my face when I look at my innocent kids sleeping peacefully on my matrimonial bed which I now share with them. My husband is now my flatmate. Now that God has taken us to a height of relaxation, he chose to spite me. I've tried all I can to breach the gap between us but to no avail. I've been the one begging for affection and even sex. To hell with sex, I can do without it for years but God knows lack of affection will be my death. I keep telling him that he'll look back one day and regret all of this, it's one thing I'm sure of. I didn't force myself on him to marry me. I didn't tie him with any pregnancy. Why me of all people? I love my kids more than life itself, a thousand times I've made up my mind to walk out. I'm not scared of facing life without him, he knows I'm a legit hustler who can place food on the table for myself and the kids. I'm more scared of becoming everything I swore never to be. I'm more scared of even killing him, myself or the kids out of depression one day. I'm so confused, I'm a shadow of myself. I'm breaking each passing day. I'm loosing hope each passing day. The worst of it is that he doesn't believe in communication. He just won't let that happen. How do I let him know he is slowly rewriting all the plans we had for ourselves and the kids? How do I let him know these kids we both adore will suffer most anyday I lose grip and decide to let go? How do I let him know that I wake up some nights, walk over to where he is sleeping, stare at him with so much anguish, pain and tears... While fighting back the urge to just stab him to death. How do I let him know that the true love I have for him is gradually turning into pure hatred? How do I let him know that I'm not sure of the next thing I might do? How do I open his eyes to see what those strange women have succeeded in doing to us? No ooooo I refuse to join you in the madness, adultery is one sin I've sworn NEVER to commit. I'll take a walk. I don't even know if I'm making sense at all but my chest is sooooooo heavy tonight.

I feel sad reading your story. Like everyone have said prayer is the solution. I also think you seek from counsel an elderly couple for that matter. Do you mind visiting MFM headquarter, Yaba if you are Lagos base, I strongly advice you seek from an elderly minister of God. I pray that God will save your Marriage and protect your home. Be bless.

specter:
How to let him know? Simple. Write all these and more in a letter or have it type and send it to him via dhl. Don't leave it in the house under his stuff cos he might not read it knowing it from you. DHL it using another details but let the letter have you full names at the tail end.
Before then, he must have read all you have to tell him.
That's how you get him to hear a piece of your mind.
The truth is , he might not even know what you are going through and you mind have unknowingly offended him in the past and he sworn not to see your unclothedness.
I once sworn not to see someone's unclothedness and it's been months and I am not moved to even hug her each time I see her. This is someone I use to chase around for sex any time we are alone for 5 mins.
After pouring out your heart , do well to apologise.

If you don't want to do this, you can let the kids have a little bit of sleeping tabs( pls consult a doctor on this). Once they are fast asleep, put on your sexiest dress, wear a wrapper on top and patiently wait for him to be back. Do this on a weekend. Preferably a Friday.
Once he is done with bathe and dinner, approach him and fall at his feet on your knees if you truely love him. He is your husband, father and a human being.
Pour out your heart at his feet, apologise for all you have done both the ones you know and that which you have no knowledge of. Ask him forgive you and if possible cry at his feet and do not get up until either he kicks you to get up, leaves you while still on your knees, or forgives you. You are guaranteed any of the above 3 options.
But if he once loved you and still does , no matter how little, he is bound to forgive you.

Do this and thank me later.

Well! You can always explain why you had to send it with different details later on.

your husband and father lol how many women sees things like that

I feel your pain,so sorry for what you are going through,many ladies are going through hell and call it marriage,just keep praying dear,God would intervene. As for me,I pray everyday oo not to end up with a guy like this,cos i can't take this,I fit scatter the guys brain with pistol.

@brokenangel2 , your story is quite interesting and touching. I took my time to read and digest your story. Your story is similar to mine just that am not married to her but note, my babe has all qualities you listed and you will be happy to be her friend. She thinks she's the best any man desire which is true but she is insensitive to my needs, problems and I can do bad stuff which she will never know until its too late just that I have some level of fear, etc but she doesn't know and have tried to talk to her If I bring it up, she feels am ungrateful and she cant kill herself beyond what she's giving that other men will be happy if she gives little. Why am relating my story to you is that she's like your carbon copy in terms of love, emotions and sacrifice. She thinks and believes I dont love her even when everyone that know us from youth corp etc told her I do she feels i dont. if she tells you our story, you will believe her and say all manner of negative things about me if you dont get my version. My take is this you may think you have gotten it all perfect but if truly you were prepared well for marriage, its time to modify your lessons and see how to help him more and be more loving than seeing it like he needs to be grateful. At marriage, a woman has more to do and more to lose than a man.If you ladies feel that our naija men are not romantic blabla bla, train your siblings, brothers and male children to be one. The truth is an average naija babe has nothing much to add in most relationship other than sex and money. Lastly, if you follow foolish advice of some people here, what will be your testimonies? Fight for your marriage fight for your family and fight for your husband. .......

Nonsense

@ Brokenangel2

I have read every single comment from the first page till last and here are my observation .
sometimes desperate situation like this calls for desperate measures, to solve a problem you might need to know the root of that problem.

first of ,prepare your mind its better to die once than to die severally and slowly.

1)What if this man is GAY or Bisexual pls don't defend him here, you never can tell
2) What if he nurtures some kind of hatred towards you from what he observe or heard about you.
3)what if hes nurturing some kind of ailment or STD which he's afraid to transfer to you and he's filled with regret, trust me MEN can be like that lots of EGo still he will make you feel like the offender.
4) what if he doesn't really love you much as you may think just to fulfil marital obligation..
5)wat if.......

the only solution here is to get to the root , then confrontation can follow .

the only thing left to do here is to snoop on him or get someone who will stalk him closely with his movement , from work ,club ,church, ......his social media Facebook ,email,whatsapp can be hacked e.t.c ......

Then you know the next step, we can talk more maybe I can help..


lastly,


please don't listen to frustrated ones telling you all this because of a man,

I bet you its your life and your commitment , YOU don't just give up easily .....he might need help .

You need to fight and fight ,its your VOW.....