₦airaland Forum

1. The insanely long queues
If you ever need to go into a banking hall to do whatever, be sure to cancel all your plans for the rest of that day because for some reason, it's impossible to go into a banking hall and not meet at least 5000 men (excluding women and children). With the crowd, you'd think Jesus was about to show up to start sharing bread and fish.

2. The nausea-inducing combination of heat and body odour.
Banks like to do this thing where they turn most of the air conditioners off when the banking hall is chock full of people, forcing everyone present to inhale the combined stench of all the people there who decided to not shower that morning before leaving their homes. Because I'm paranoid, I believe they do this to mess with us.

hmmm

3. Those people that do this:
You lend someone your pen so they can fill their teller or whatever and the next thing you know, they're gone. Vanished. With your pen! Pens are like N20! If you have a bank account then you definitely have more than N20 so WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING KLEPTOMANIAC?! DO YOU WANT ME TO SWEAR FOR YOU?!!!

4. All those people that come up to you on the queue:
So I get that people like to keep spaces in the queue as soon as they come in. It saves time. But if you're one of those people that keeps a space on the queue and then goes to sit down until it gets to your turn, you're mad. If you've had no one to tell you before, I'm here now. If you're not sick, disabled or pregnant, don't do this. You're not the only one that's tired. Nonsense.

5. The occasional terrible customer service.
After spending what seems like the better part of your youth standing in line, you'll then get to the cashier/customer care person and get a Bleep ton of attitude thrown in your face. It's either the person is doing things in slow motion (like Nick, the DMV sloth in Zootopia) or they're answering your questions as if you're disturbing them. Right then you just feel like shouting:

"Listen, Miss. Chioma. I'm not here to toast you. Stop doing face like monkey wey lick lime and fix my dispense error problem abeg!"

6. Those stupid automatic doors.
Let me tell you a short story. A couple of months ago, I'd just started working out. This friend of mine told me that she could already see results and I'd lost a ton of weight so naturally, I started feeling myself. I sent out a broadcast message to everybody on my Whatsapp contact list that was basically just a collection of my shirtless selfies (because why the hell not?) and started wearing fitted t-shirts (LOL!) You know what took this new found confidence from me?

Automated bank doors.

I got to my bank and on my way in, the stupid voice that comes from the stupid doors started screaming, "ONLY ONE PASSENGER AT A TIME!!!" All the people around stared at me in pity like I was the Michelin tyre man as those damn doors turned me back 4 times, all the while still screaming "ONLY ONE PASSENGER AT A TIME!!!". A security guard had to go in and open it for me manually.

Banks need to deal with these body shaming doors. Allow people to be plus-sized in peace. Na fat I fat. I no kill person. �

The most annoying for me is the ATTITUDE of the bankers!

On top my money wey them dey do profit sharing every year, one opportuned mofo will still be forming for me

Ever since I gave my local bank an idea, the Queue reduced tremendously. Deposit from below 50000 should be taken to bulk room and attended to later.
Depositors with 50k and Above should queue up.
As for the former people. They just submit their money is a transparent box and leave. The cashier would attend to it later

Lalasticlala please move this thread to fp

Lol... Funny points especially that of the doors.



GET RID OF STRETCH MARKS, CHECK MY SIGNATURE!

So funny, I was in front of your back
Especially....

Sister pls Are you the last person??

I will NOT be the last in JESUS NAME

i hate going to bank like mad, thank God for internet banking and mobile banking all i need is look for someone that need money transfer to his/her account and collect the money....

that moment when someone walks up to u and ask: is someone in your back?... No he's not in my back he's inside my stomach...

why are they annoying?

Op na only you get money for bank.?

lol

Honestly, thanks to diamond bank, with their fast response, I don't even know the last time I entered into the banking hall to lodge complain.

Any issue I got, I just send email, and I get response almost immediately, even sometimes if my money hangs, I dint bother calling or sending mails to them.

They have seen it on their system, max is two days, they would revert it, without calls or mails from me.

Going to the bank to lodge complain, is a No No to me these days, because your 30min would be changed to 3hours

Lol

Cashless policy... Way to go

nastycgolden:
6. Those stupid automatic doors.
Let me tell you a short story. A couple of months ago, I'd just started working out. This friend of mine told me that she could already see results and I'd lost a ton of weight so naturally, I started feeling myself. I sent out a broadcast message to everybody on my Whatsapp contact list that was basically just a collection of my shirtless selfies (because why the hell not?) and started wearing fitted t-shirts (LOL!) You know what took this new found confidence from me?

Automated bank doors.

I got to my bank and on my way in, the stupid voice that comes from the stupid doors started screaming, "ONLY ONE PASSENGER AT A TIME!!!" All the people around stared at me in pity like I was the Michelin tyre man as those damn doors turned me back 4 times, all the while still screaming "ONLY ONE PASSENGER AT A TIME!!!". A security guard had to go in and open it for me manually.

Banks need to deal with these body shaming doors. Allow people to be plus-sized in peace. Na fat I fat. I no kill person. �

lol i was once traped for 2mins in that door.. you need to see how my heart was pounding

Bros sorry....Pls are u the last person on the queue

Me (in my mind): God forbid, I will never be the last

nastycgolden:
1. The insanely long queues
If you ever need to go into a banking hall to do whatever, be sure to cancel all your plans for the rest of that day because for some reason, it's impossible to go into a banking hall and not meet at least 5000 men ( excluding women and children). With the crowd, you'd think Jesus was about to show up to start sharing bread and fish.

Why did you exclude women in the first place?
Are they not also human?

Lol... I love your delivery... Those land sorry pen grabbers.. I am not understanding ooo
As for the I am behind your back people I always surprise them... If u ask me later my answer is I don't really recognize you...

and my bank comes to mind....

Lol