₦airaland Forum

Mophasa:
I did a story on my blog last year about a girl looking for her father whom she doesn't know
Check
https://viewsnaija..com.ng/2017/08/young-nigerian-looking-for-her-dad.html

Last month the man got to see the story and contacted me, cut story short, father and daughter were reunited.

Was expecting a little pecks from the man but nothing came, so I requested a little favor yesterday because I needed Cash to travel for a burial this weekend.

To my dismay after he asked me to send my Bank details and l did, i was ecpecting a bank alert when he later sent another message saying he can't help because he feels am trying to scam him. Like wtf??

I thought it was a joke but right now both him and the girl has blocked me from contacting them!

Words can't describe my current painment!!

Am still sourcing for alternative to fund my journey to the burial tomorrow!

Note! I met the young Lady in church during my service year and she never believed she could ever meet the man again.

*Am from the south south while they come from the south west

*I never asked for a gratitude despite the gravity of the work I did

*I was duped by several persons I met on social media who always claimed to knw the man, even some persons here on Nl tried to take advantage

*I used my meagre allawee to buy sub ,promote and sponsor the story on various online platforms

*I have never received anything from the man since he reunited with his daughter, all I got was a "Thank u

Please did I commit any crime by asking for assistance from a man that owes me a big gratitude?

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS AT ALL

Lemme add to the thank you.
Op God bless you

You are shameless and classless. Blackmailer!!!

Mophasa:
Funny, its unfortunate I don't argue with kids

u be old man, but you no even get courtesy. u dey ask person wey u help for favour because u think they owe me and you dey complain just because dem no gree help u.

U still dey NYSC u dey form old man.

cobsol:
Go and sit down, you you yes you! Haven't you seen people who need one help or the other? Who you help?

And?

you shouldn't have asked

frank317:
U want him to do it and expect reward from God. So whats the difference with that and expecting reward from man. Will God come down and give him the reward or will he still use man to reward him?

Op the mistake u made was doing it for free. U would have charged him or her or at least make them pay for the process.

Did the girl pay u in kind? U can take that and move on.

What do u expect from a man who rejected his daugther years ago... he will reject unknown persons too and probably his daugther inherited the trait.

Life is give and take... if u want to help helpless people u can decide to do it for free and get ur mind off getting reward either from man or any God. But if u want to help people who are ok.... or better than u... CHARGE THEM, What ever u get from using ur gift is God rewarding u.

So because God wouldn't come down that means he should ask the man abi? He should bill him right?
Are you a Muslim or a Christian?

Until you learn to assist people without expecting anything in return, you'll keep facing disappointments.

Yorubas will say.. 'e ni ta se lore ti o dupe dabi olosa to ko ni leru lo'. I know how bad it feels to use your strength and resources only to end up regretting.

It's life for you, move on and learn from this.

I DT see anything bad in what u did but that should be if u HV pure motive of helping in d first place. Anyway that is human being for u. Learn that whatever u do in life is for God. That should be ur primary aim,motive and intention.

life2017:
Next time always say ahead there is a fee for the service you rendered. You should not have asked for favour. You should have asked for a fee because you deserve it. You place yourself in a disadvantage by not being bold enough to clearly say you deserve to be paid. Dont work for grattitude. that is why i love American capitalism. No pretence. every service deserves payment. Even pastors dont work for free. why should you be working for free? America is one of the few country were waiters ask for tips like is thier right enshrined in the constitution! No pretence.

Every talent should provide you a pay check.
The british man who discovered internet did it for free. Today nobody remember his name.
Mark zuckerberg only used the internet to create ordinary facebook, today he is a billionaire and known world wide.
The world dont remember those who work for free.

In summary, the man owe you nothing because you never told him you deserve being paid. Nobody respect a beggar. The world only respect those who put price tag for thier service. That is why the richer a pastor become, the more "annointed" he is perceived and the higher the offerings and gifts he get and also the more he order people around to give.

Sure, u really understood the situation

Tadeknkeepcalm:
"Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended."- The Prophet ( sallalahu alayhi was Salam)

Your sole purpose of helping them is because you hoped to be rewarded, not out of Goodwill but because you hoped to gain some monetary value of some sort?
So if you had foreseen you wouldn't be rewarded, you wouldn't have helped right?

So if you met neither the lady nor the man, who would you have contacted for money? The beggar you gave money last week?

I'm so glad that there are still sensible people on NL.

obidaddy:
You are shameless and classless. Blackmailer!!!

You're wrong.. he's just being human.

You can't call labourers to work for a whole day and tell them "Thank you" or can you?

Now this Op took out time he could have used to learn a skill or get better stuffs doing that'll fetch him money to reunite father and daughter and they can't assist him with "any amount" to travel for burial.

Truth be told, It's very bad of that girl's father.

Heehehe OP asked for advise and is fighting everybody that doesn't call him jesus

Tadeknkeepcalm:
"Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended."- The Prophet ( sallalahu alayhi was Salam)

Your sole purpose of helping them is because you hoped to be rewarded, not out of Goodwill but because you hoped to gain some monetary value of some sort?
So if you had foreseen you wouldn't be rewarded, you wouldn't have helped right?

So if you met neither the lady nor the man, who would you have contacted for money? The beggar you gave money last week?
You claim to have subscribed to broadcast the message on social media, because you require 3gb to open nairaland and an extra 2gb to create a thread right?
So you subscribed again to create this thread? So who'll reimburse you for this subscription?
You say you're seeking advice, advice on what exactly, that you should trace their house and scatter the place? Or you need us to patronize you and say "oh you're a good man" "may God reward you", if that's what you were expecting, I am not that sort of person, and seriously, God can't reward you based on what I stated in the first paragraph, this is because all your actions reeks of insincerity. So wouldn't it have paid you to have done all that whilst expecting your reward from God?
Well, if you are very good at finding and reuniting people, it's not too late to start a career in private investigation, and you would surely be paid and have a proud job you can call yours. And in cases like this one, it would just be a matter of "service not paid for".
But if everyone expected something for every good thing they've done to you, trust me, there'll be nothing on your plate

Every worker deserves a wage, I didn't bill him, known him for over a month without seeking for nothing! Was jux in a tight corner, I cud have asked anyone

honestly OPhow much are we talking about? maybe the assistance you asked for was an irresponsible one.j just saying.by the way has he been giving you money before the request??

Tadeknkeepcalm:
So because God wouldn't come down that means he should ask the man abi? He should bill him right?
Are you a Muslim or a Christian?

He should have billed the man or his daugther for the work he did for them. That way they wpukd not have called him a scammer. Why should he do it for free for them? As u can see he is not comfortable and the reason why he is asking them for help is because they are better than him. Whta does he stand to gain by doing it for free?

I am neither a christian nor a muslim

StaffofOrayan:
Heehehe OP asked for advise and is fighting everybody that doesn't call him jesus

Most people no get sense, I have known him over a month without asking for anything, I cud av asked anyone

Mophasa:
I did a story on my blog last year about a girl looking for her father whom she doesn't know
Check
https://viewsnaija..com.ng/2017/08/young-nigerian-looking-for-her-dad.html


*I never asked for a gratitude despite the gravity of the work I did

*I was duped by several persons I met on social media who always claimed to knw the man, even some persons here on Nl tried to take advantage

*I used my meagre allawee to buy sub ,promote and sponsor the story on various online platforms

*I have never received anything from the man since he reunited with his daughter, all I got was a "Thank u

Please did I commit any crime by asking for assistance from a man that owes me a big gratitude?

Technically, they owe you nothing bro
would it be nice if the dad or even daughter gave you something to say thanks, yep but still they OWE you nothing but immense gratitude and thanks which i am sure you have since received
Its the same way i see a purse/phone in a bus and i make every effort to return it to the rightful owner
does he owe me something in return, not really
If he gives me something wouldn't that be nice? Sure would be but there is no compulsion from his end
you should not do good because you may be rewarded. Do good because it is the right thing to do
Sometimes an honest man gets compensated but the reward may not even be one tenth of what he recovered
The reward could come in his name written in gold, good publicity like Josephine Uguw (the cleaner at MMA) better job opportunities or CASH
End of the day, there are some deeds a man carries out that money can never compensate for
You may need the money badly but your good deed would always go before you
No one can ever take away the fact you found that man and reunited him with his dear daughter
Tomorrow you may choose to do investigative work like this for a fee
your history of finding this man is good enough on your investigative CV portfolio
But on this one, they owe you nothing but thanks bro

I feel sad you claim the man was like a father to you but now him and his daughter have blocked you
You sound desperate, the way you keep going on about a burial you have to attend
Did you ask for the money like it was ''a right?'' or that you just needed their help
Another reason you may have been blocked is because in their heart, they feel they owe you and since they cannot give, your asking has left them in an uncomfortable situation or you probably made them feel that way. Only you know how you asked for help

You need to apologize to them and give them space
Good luck

Ole! Ole!! Ole!!!

frank317:
He should have billed the man or his daugther for the work he did for them. That way they wpukd not have called him a scammer. Why should he do it for free for them? As u can see he is not comfortable and the reason why he is asking them for help is because they are better than him. Whta does he stand to gain by doing it for free?

I am neither a christian nor a muslim

I see. Have a nice day.

eherbal:
honestly OPhow much are we talking about? maybe the assistance you asked for was an irresponsible one.j just saying.by the way has he been giving you money before the request??

Not dime! I didn't even say how much I needed sef

Ur story is not complete.
I don't see how or what will make father and daughter block u on social media and also on their phones if u made just one request.
Again, people can be funny. Maybe ur intentions were not pure from the onset.

Next time, help without expecting anything in return so u won't be disappointed if it doesn't come.

God actually know how to reward geniue intentions.

OP they owe you nothing but then on a second look. it only normal for the man to compensate you with happiness for what you did for him. maybe he is just being stingy.

With threads like this one, what is this world turning into? People cannot help without expectation of monetary reward...especially from the same person you helped.

Smh.

stonecoldcafe:
Technically, they owe you nothing bro
would it be nice if the dad or even daughter gave you something to say thanks, yep but still they OWE you nothing but immense gratitude and thanks which i am sure you have since received
Its the same way i see a purse/phone in a bus and i make every effort to return it to the rightful owner
does he owe me something in return, not really
If he gives me something wouldn't that be nice? Sure would be but there is no compulsion from his end
Sometimes an honest man gets compensated but the money may not even be one tenth of what he recovered
End of the day, there are some deeds a man carries out that money can never compensate for
You may need the money badly but your good deed would always go before you
No one can ever take away the fact you found that man. Tomorrow you may choose to do investigative work like this for a fee
But on this one, they owe you nothing but thanks bro

I feel sad you claim the man was like a father to you but now him and his daughter has blocked you
You sound desperate, the way you keep going on about a burial you have to attend
Did you ask for the money like it was ''a right?'' or that you just needed their help
Another reason you may have been blocked is because in their heart, they feel they owe you and since they cannot give, your asking has left them in an uncomfortable situation or you probably made them feel that way. Only you know how you asked for help

You need to apologize to them and give them space
Good luck

Thanks, for this past month I had known them,I never asked for nothing and haven't received any either.

Was jux in a tight corner and needed help, I didn't Even specify any amount!

Not giving the money wasn't my problem but calling me a scam was my annoyance.

Everything happened within 24hrs

You don't do good in expectation of instant gratification. It's as well you never did it. Be ashamed of yourself...where are we manufacturing these people from?

Mophasa:
Most people no get sense, I have known him over a month without asking for anything, I cud av asked anyone

There are people I've know for greater than 10 years and I cannot ask them for anything.

What's your relationship with the man? Helping him reconnect with his daughter doesn't make you his friend.

I believe you have an "entitlement" mentality that's why you think not asking him for anything in a month is an achievement.

Mophasa:
Every worker deserves a wage, I didn't bill him, known him for over a month without seeking for nothing! Was jux in a tight corner, I cud have asked anyone

Nnaa, next time ask for services charge, even only if successful would they pay, it's still pure business deal. Maybe, if you have been asking for a fee, you won't have been in a tight corner to have needed someone to settle your bills.
Actually, many people don't like being asked for money, most especially people from the western world, or those who have lived there.
Bear the insult and move on. He could have refused giving you the money. Or simply ignore you. Or even rebuke you. But calling you a fraudster isn't the way to go about it.
Africans ask for help. But learn your lesson, and use this to enhance your dignity in future dealings with others. NEVER ASK FOR MONEY, EVEN BORROWING.

Mophasa:
Funny, its unfortunate I don't argue with kids

Oga komot hia Can u imagine such gibberish

Ogbeni go sit down, imagine, because u helped to re-unite , u begin beg foro ET to go for one burial ceremony somewhere .

Haba . It's shameful. In fact because u helped to, u shouldn't have opened your mouth to ask for that from them. But from your epistle up there and the tone. Only shows the kinda guy u are

Well, it is obvious that the girl and her father are ungrateful. So you need to leave everything for God, because God is the rewarder of anything we do.

I know the man chai ! He's very nice. Married to my uni best friend's elder sister,Aunty Chisaa

Mophasa:
Thanks, for this past month I had known them,I never asked for nothing and haven't received any either.

Was jux in a tight corner and needed help, I didn't Even specify any amount!

Not giving the money wasn't my problem but calling me a scam was my annoyance.

Everything happened within 24hrs

Did you ask them like they owed you a favour?
Sometimes when you ask people like this which you may have helped tremendously, they tend to think you probably did it because you wanted something of them (dad is a Captain for God sake) Like u want to milk them dry
this is a man you don't know from Adam but fate brought you together
It also happens when a friend has done something wrong and you cover up for them and you later ask them for money
they tend to feel uncomfortable with you. You put them in a tight corner where they feel they have to give you the money unless you would let out their secret
I'm just trying to draw comparison to let you see how your asking may have been uncomfortable for people like them
In any case, let it go, next time you should charge a fee for investigative jobs if you feel inclined to do so...