₦airaland Forum

Written By Seye Kuyinu

This is especially true for those who don’t have family members around. Oh, note that there’s a difference between vacation and living mode.

It’s been over 6 months since I moved to the US and I have already waded through a range of emotions. After talking with a number of people who also moved here for work or emigrated, I feel like everyone’s experience is tantamount to the other’s.

The Honeymoon phase: Everything is new(or at least feels new) Houses and buildings are not dusty.The streets are clean, everything is shiny. Every car tire is actually black! You’ve worn your shoes for months now but the soles are still looking new. In naija, it would techncially take me 5 days for the wear and tear process to start.

The UX phase: You(if you were me) begin to notice UX in everything. Streets are well labeled, houses are well numbered, the WC flushes different, queues are well structured, even at the DMV with the 100s of people trying to get a drivers’ license, I can check my phone to confirm if my bus is running late. It’s so easy to get a Metro card for train-hopping in New York or a JTA bus ticket.

The Contrast phase: Also known as business man phase. Now you want to be importing and exporting because naira< > dollar.
“In Nigeria, why can’t we have this!”, “Isn’t it just so easy to replicate this idea!”, “Why don’t we have common sense in that country”.

Just enter a Dollar Tree and see if you won’t have ideas.
The Are-You-Kidding phase: I once ordered food I didn’t know because too many options in the menu. The food came and I didn’t like it so I changed the menu. Expecting to bear the bill, I saw I wasnt charged so …I packed the unwanted meal and well…took it home. The freedom that comes with returning almost anything without feeling judged or someone looking at you with ‘bad eye’ amazing!

On your first day of work, you don’t only get a new computer, you get tear-rubber great headphones, new dual screen monitors, mouse etc without requesting for it. Life is just beautiful up until THE point where you slowly wake. This is the real woke.

The O.Y.O phase: The colleagues that greet you with wide smiles, the ones that pat your back every now and then, they walk past you outside the office. Then slowly you realize this racism thing that you didn’t care about- It’s actually real. You raise suggestions at work etc but your voice is not heard. Then these other people ignore you but you think it’s just your mind. But alas, it’s not.
Your accent sticks out like a sore thumb! If you didn’t know whether you were conc. yoruba or igbo,you will hear yourself!

The Hamster Wheel: Bi-weekly salaries! Great! And the date won’t shift either. Monthly apartment and electricity+water bills. Okay?Insurance this, insurance that, insure this one too. Copay this one. Then it all makes sense why your friend in jand is always broke even though he has a good job in Apple. You can’t afford not to be in a job for any rotation. Social security! Like a prison number tag, mow everything is linked to the government. Credit score is a thing.

You must borrow money that you have. And if you don’t have you must borrow. You must pay back and on time too. You guard your drivers’ license points with your life. All the money you make in your side business is being watched. IRS is waiting for you in June. Sallah meat?! For where! Christmas gbedu? The streets are empty, stores closed, everywhere is quiet. Then it starts to creep in small small- The Loneliness phase! Your neighbors are fake, your coworkers are fake, the government just wants to make money off of you. Your landlord is not here to play games. Your family and true friends are in naija. When work closes and you want to catch up , they are getting ready to sleep. They call, you can’t pick because you’re at work. Then you start missing that annoying neighbor that used their pepper grinding machine to deafen you, all the owambe chaos-blocked streets, littered streets etc, they somehow just resonate with you. ‘Stupid songs’ like Science Student makes sense.

Boredom: Life is very programmed now. So boredom starts to set in. So you book short trips, go to museums etc. Meanwhile someone somewhere thinks you’re balling. Your boredom found ways to get good coupon codes, great Groupon deals etc. Weird behaviors start to form.

You start learning to dance shaku shaku, recording videos of yourself doing random shii

Greater Wokeness: You somehow realize we all have the same problems, just in different shades. Then you see more flaws in humanity. The world gets weirder.People think you’re proud when you’re just trying to survive.

North Korea tries to bomb the US last week, but this week the Presidents are taking selfies. Best friends, US and Canada are now in a trade war. Children are being separated from parents at the borders, Bobrisky is engaged but to the picture of a US senator. Do I regret this move? Nope! Healthcare, security, better transportation, great career opportunities are major pros. Do I miss Nigeria? See, "social" is ingrained into our DNA in a way you won't appreciate till it's challenged. And I'm in that phase.

Interesting

I enjoy your vibes Bro......

"Then you start missing that annoying neighbor that used their pepper grinding machine to deafen you, all the owambe chaos-blocked streets, littered streets etc, they somehow just resonate with you. ‘Stupid songs’ like Science Student makes sense."

True but mehn make i join you too

With a good pay,would you return to Naija?

Activedreamer:
With a good pay,would you return to Naija?

nope

I enjoyed the read.

Thank you OP

What you analysed is a problem most single people go through here and ,that's why its in your own best interest to stay married and have your own family as your best friend,confidant,play and vacation mates etc

The realistic flow... Tho I dream of our my honeymoon phase will look like��. Survival will be best company

You welcome.

wyzoe:
I enjoyed the read.

Thank you OP

I doubt that seriously.

Activedreamer:
With a good pay,would you return to Naija?

Tracypacy:
I doubt that seriously.

LMAO; D
Some things are beyond money
ThE SOCIETY is seriously bleeped

Tracypacy:
I doubt that seriously.

LMAO; D
Some things are beyond money
ThE SOCIETY is seriously bleeped

How?

Ugosample:
LMAO; D

Some things are beyond money

ThE SOCIETY is seriously bleeped

Tracypacy:
How?

Let me explain better


I come from an upper middle class family, and my family "are doing fine" by many standards, so I can afford to say I want to permanently live in Nigeria


BUT


That's not the case

The Nigerian society is so so bleeped

Money can't save you from SARS harassment, the accident at Otedola bridge due to negligence of the authorities, insecurity, useless infrastructures, fulani herdsmen, useless medical facilities, useless schools etc


so I understand your amswer

Now, you know the point I was driving at

Ugosample:
Let me explain better


I come from an upper middle class family, and my family "are doing fine" by many standards, so I can afford to say I want to permanently live in Nigeria


BUT


That's not the case

The Nigerian society is so so bleeped

Money can't save you from SARS harassment, the accident at Otedola bridge due to negligence of the authorities, insecurity, useless infrastructures, fulani herdsmen, useless medical facilities, useless schools etc


so I understand your amswer

Tracypacy:
Now, you know the point I was driving at

of course

Hmmm

Nice read